New Year's message

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a fallen leaf.

I am the one, ridiculed by others, despised by old friends, questioned by readers, and called myself [started a literary and artistic career, and then was forced to be decadent, and I had no heart and lungs. Regard the festival as life, and remember it as the soul. The world is contrary to me, and I am like a floating cloud, and the fallen leaves have been settled.

Actually, I'm pretending to be cynical, but I've always cared about those mundane things.

I care a lot, and I haven't moved on for a few days. I care a lot.,A collection that will fall off as soon as it's updated.。 cares about the comments of those people forever, and cares about the book friends who have always been in a pool of stagnant water.

I care, uncle, teacher, reader, friend, know or don't know, approve or disagree, everyone's evaluation, word by word.

I care a lot, I care a lot.

-- But.

In those times.

When I quietly pick up the pen in an unknown place.

When I wrote and crossed out and wrote in a small book hiding in Tibet.

Reading and reading day by day, I was in a trance and reciting words, as if the three souls were lost.

What am I clinging to?

――I don't remember when I was touched by words.

That's it, it took a lot of effort and interlocking layouts to make the alluring crystal palace immersive, and then it collapsed with a bang.

Shocking, unforgettable.

So, longing.

Do you remember what I said through the mouth of Youning? What is the end of this road?

I've been looking for words that can stab my soul.

One time at a time, the pen tentatively crossed every square inch in my heart. It was only when I felt the pain that I touched the wound that I thought I had written a good word. I don't know how many self-righteous teardrops have been paid.

From the vulgar first volume of thinking that "playing with memes like this will probably make readers like it", to the second volume of self-abandonment of "dealing with it like this first", and now, as if he was still the same person at the beginning.

This is what I gave up. It's something I can't give up. This is what I cherish, this is what I cannot afford to cherish. What I know I don't understand, I hate it now when I remember it, and I will cry bitterly when I remember it later.

If so, it is ...... The middle two of the fallen leaves have been sad.

- Ah, let's uncover it. Again, that's the same sentence.

What's the meaning of that to others?

- So, I've always cherished it.

Cherish the book of Yuningdo.

Cherish everything I have gained through the book of Yonindo.

It's just that, after all, it's not a world that I can understand.

It was the parallel dimension of my vision, the side of the realm that could only be touched by tiptoe, the other untouchable.

At that time, the keys said a word.

He said, if you don't want to write, you won't write, you have your study, you have your life, I won't force or wait for you, there are so many things worth looking forward to in the world, you are not inferior to a book, you say that you can write while squeezing out a little bit of update for a long, long time, you are depraved, as an opponent, I can't ask for it.

I say...... I want to write.

Wanted to write very much.

Did you know that humans have an instinct to give meaning to the pain of the past so that their fragile hearts are enough to bear the emptiness?

Even if there is no effort to change the old cycle that makes life meaningless.

Because, ah, I have nothing but sorrow.

-- Fate is a thing that has been exhausted in exchange for an encounter with someone.

-- Therefore.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Everyone, there are plenty of reasons to be happy.

Because, you're in a dimension that I haven't been able to understand.