Chapter 316: The Cycle of Collapse
"So, Aragaki-san, what do you want me to do? If I don't talk to you and deal with you with this attitude, then do you think I can still be by your side, persevere? β
When Kato said this in a less calm voice, Kazuya had already realized that things had begun to develop in a direction that was not under his control.
He took a step back in a bit of a panic, and then, realizing his gaffe, he gently moved his steps forward a little, however, Kazuya could feel that these small movements of his own looked extremely ridiculous in Kato's eyes.
In the end, Kazuya just smiled a little winceing and turned away. He could accept Shiyu's confession head-on when his mind was under enough pressure, however, he didn't want Kato to say something. In a way, Kato has always been the last line of defense that Kazuya has set for himself.
This is the bottom line that Kazuya set for himself, and this bottom line comes from his unconditional trust in Kato.
Kazuya can also feel Kato's vacillation, which is why he has repeatedly emphasized the "agreement" between him and Kato, which is also the reason why Kazuya is trying to escape now, because he knows that if he lets the other party speak at this time, then maybe many things will really be irreparable.
However, the empathetic Kato, once again let Kazuya's approach to calm things down was unsuccessful. Some soft calls came from behind Kazuya: "Aragaki-san." β
Kazuya had never felt that Kato's voice was so alarming, and yet, despite his constant denial of his decision, he turned his head a little as if he was being controlled, as if the other party's voice was a siren's voice.
"Actually, Aragaki doesn't have to do this, right? What do you think I can change now? When Kazuya turned his head, Kato just lowered his head and slowly said his thoughts in that somewhat trembling voice.
"It's not a question of what can be changed, is it? The problem is never what seems to be solved, is it? Kazuya's expression was not good-looking, and in the face of Kato's complaints, he just replied with a wry smile.
"So, wouldn't it be okay to hide everything until the end? Just like we did in the beginning, isn't it? β
Kazuya shook his head and didn't speak, in fact, he didn't know what he should say, after all, he was indeed stimulated by Lunye's unconscious to say those words, and then led to the current situation.
"So, the question is very simple," Kato pressed his temple, stood up, and said, "Only this time, let me not speak according to Aragaki-san's thoughts, in fact, it's okay, right?" β
Without Kazuya's consent - in fact, Kazuya, who was now shocked, was no longer able to do anything to stop Kato's actions, and Kato said something to himself.
"Actually, Aragaki should still be clear, right? I've been paying attention to Aragaki since the beginning - of course, when I first mentioned it, I wasn't lying, and at that time, I really didn't look at your shadow when you were about to disappear when you moved, and then reluctantly begged your mother to stay, and then made a promise in my heart that I would definitely meet again after repeated pleadings failed, and this is absolutely nothing! β
Kato spoke these words with such a calm manner, as in her usual serene manner, and even when she mentioned the "promise of an absolute reunion," she smiled a rarely, somewhat childish smile, as if she were telling an interesting story.
Looking at Kato like this, Kazuya wanted to laugh with her for a while, but soon, he realized the current atmosphere, and his face sank again.
Kato continued to speak in a surprisingly calm tone as if he hadn't noticed the change in Kazuya's expression.
"Of course, Aragaki may have seen the problems after meeting again, and generally speaking, when a girl becomes interested in a boy, it is a dangerous time, although I think I may be different from other girls, but, obviously, I still overestimate myself. Although in comparison, Aragaki is obviously much worse than when you were a child, as if you have the maturity of a high school student from the beginning, but it has not changed in ten years, but, feelings are never decided by maturity, right? β
When Kato said, "I have the maturity of a high school student from the beginning", Kazuya's heart suddenly trembled, although in front of Kato, but he remembered Eiri Riri, who accepted his current self when he confided a certain fact to Eiri, the somewhat silly girl who shouted "I don't understand these situations, but I just like you".
Perhaps, all the girls didn't do anything wrong, and I was the only one who did wrong, right? And, that irreparable mistake. Kazuya lamented in his heart.
"I don't know when it started, how to say it, it's probably when Aragaki-san was working hard for Eiri Pear and Kasumigaoka-senpai, right? It occurred to me that it would be nice if Aragaki-san could do the same for meβof course, by the time I realized that my feelings had deteriorated from curiosity, it would be too late to restrain myself. β
"From the beginning to the end, I didn't mean to envy or envy the pear pear, from the beginning, I was the pear pie, and this point has not changed until now, even if I want to talk to you so much today, even after I heard what you said today, it has not changed. I always feel that Ying Lili, who has paid so much and waited for you for so long, should be the person you choose - I don't deny that Kasumigaoka Senpai has also given a lot, but I think I may be able to understand Ying Lili's feelings better. Maybe it's the same relationship as a childhood sweetheart?-Of course,I'm not a very competent childhood sweetheart.γ β
When he said the last sentence, Kato smiled self-deprecatingly.
Although Kato laughed more times a day today than before, Kazuya was not happy or moved by this incident at all, he knew that when Kato needed to disguise her emotions with a reluctant smile, that was when even she could no longer fully control her emotions.
"You've been saying that you're from the Pear Pear Pie, and you've been saying that you're sorry for Senior Sister Shiyu, but it has nothing to do with your feelings, right? Aren't you going to be willful about your feelings? Then you can say it! I'm listening here! The extreme irritability made Kazuya even more unable to calm down, and in the end, he still shouted such words to Kato with some collapse.
"Didn't I say it from the beginning? I just wanted to put those feelings out there, and as for myself, I was never in this game. β
"Are you a bystander, according to you?"
"Yes, the bystander, although this bystander is very incompetent to invest his feelings in the protagonist, but the bystander can only be a bystander after all, and in the end, it can only be like this." Kato replied calmly, however, for the first time in this conversation, her head was unusually shifted, as if she didn't want Kazuya to see her feelings.
"Was your outburst so short-lived?"
"Isn't Aragaki hoping for such a brief outburst? You don't want the situation to get any more troublesome, do you? β
"Obviously, I just said that I was willful, and I just said that I wanted to say it once according to the reaction I didn't expect, but in the end, how did it become like this again!"
"This is because, there is really no way!" Kato's voice trembled for the first time, "Because I'm used to it!" Because I'm used to helping Aragaki-san solve a problem when Aragaki-san can't solve it, because I'm used to helping Aragaki-san when I'm overwhelmed, and because I'm used to staying by Aragaki-san in this way--I'm used to it, and I can't be willful in the end, and I don't like this kind of thing either! β
At the end, Kato's voice slowly brought a hint of crying, which made Kazuya a little relieved, but what was even more heartbreaking was that the girl opposite him finally exposed her truest side in front of her.
"What do you mean by 'bystander', is it fun to be a bystander in this kind of game? Definitely not fun, right? Why do I have to be a pear pie, it's just because I have a better relationship with pear pears? If you and Eiri are together, the problems between the two of you will be more justified if I help the two of you, right? Actually, wasn't it good at first? Didn't we do that in the first place? But in the end, it all went wrong with this latest issue, didn't it? I've been making everyone happy and satisfied in my own way, but why not this time? β
"Then I understood that if I really got too close, it would be a problem, and of course, after that I was very successful in hinting to Kazuya, and the distance was well maintained at a cold but not unfamiliar level. I think it's okay to just control it to this extent. However, this is your own problem, right? Why is it so easy for you to get caught up in the plot of a game and say those words? It's all because of Aragaki that I can't hold on, right? It's all because of Aragaki-san, I messed up, didn't I? I don't want to mess it up, I really don't want to mess it up! β
This is the first time that Kato has added rebukes and complaints to Kazuya's body without any scruples, and every rebuke, when attacking Kazuya's heart, also makes Kazuya finally have a comprehension of himself.
It was only at this time that he relied on Kato, and how much he had relied on Kato all along. Although he has encountered countless situations that make him feel hopeless, Kazuya can solve the problem on his own without relying on anyone, but, when he feels that there is nothing he can do, he will always feel that there is a way, because Kato has not abandoned him.
However, now Kato is complaining about him, complaining about his excessive dependence on her, complaining about his request for such help from her but nothing in return.
Then, Kazuya knew that after such a complaint, maybe, Megumi Kato was really leaving.
It's not the kind of mutual coldness between the two sides, but a farewell in the soul - Kato is right about one thing, she has never regarded herself as a competitor, and a person who is not a competitor, when even the audience can't be a competitor, then he can only let himself be completely out.
However, this did not make Kazuya relax, but made Kazuya also have a sense of tension, he knew that his dependence on Kato was very bad, but, just as Kato had become accustomed to compromising with Kazuya, Kazuya had also become accustomed to relying on Kato.
Therefore, almost without thinking about it, at the moment when Kato was about to turn around after venting, Kazuya reached out and grabbed the placket of Kato's school uniform.
Kato obviously didn't expect Kazuya's move, and she looked back in some surprise, which made Kazuya even more excited, and the hand that grabbed Kato's shirt added a bit of strength.
Then, as if in slow motion while figure skating, under the fallen cherry blossom tree, Kato spun around, and then, with his pupils widened, he collapsed into Kazuya's arms.
"Kato-" This situation was not expected by Kazuya, and even, when Kato was lying in his arms, Kazuya was in the mood to defend at that moment.
However, it was already too late.
How many coincidences can there be in a person's life? And also don't know what the answer to this question is. However, what he does know is that he does not want to see all the coincidences of today.
Because, at the moment when he held up Kato, he saw Ying Lili behind Kato who had been biting her lip and not speaking.
If at the beginning, Kazuya was able to deceive himself that Ying Li Li only saw the last scene and was able to solve this misunderstanding, but then, Ying Lili's words made him feel that everything could not be changed at this point.
Tears from the blue eyes quietly flowed down Ying Riri's white face, and Ying Li's trembling voice reached Kazuya's ears: "I never said that you can't work hard, right?" But, but you're too despicable like this, isn't it? β
Obviously, Ying Li Li misunderstood something. However, Kazuya knows that in this situation, it doesn't matter what is misunderstood, or what is not misunderstood.