In the afternoon, Zhan Xiaoyan drew a portrait of the brothers who promised Zhan Xiaoyu in the study, which was what they looked like from birth to when they were five years old, and what their father and mother looked like at that time. It's to show them, but also to show themselves, to see what they were like when they were young, and what their parents looked like. However, a serious painting takes at least half an hour to an hour, so she only came to the study when she saw everyone staying in the room, or sleeping, or practicing calligraphy, just to not let people disturb it, so that a painting could be completed in one go. But unexpectedly, when she was seriously painting, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Zhan Xiaoyan was puzzled for a moment, then replied, and put down the paintbrush here, and his eyes fell on the door, to see who the person who came in. Unexpectedly, the person who knocked on the door was Guan Lao, and he was still holding the stack of egg yolk cakes in his hand. Because everyone seemed to like eating egg yolk cake just now, everyone didn't take it anymore, so they let him eat it alone, and he also went back to the room with the pastry. I didn't expect him to eat it, but he came here with it, and it seems that he was going to tell himself the story in his heart!

"Girl, you should have guessed what I was going to say, yes! That's the egg yolk cake thing. This egg yolk cake used to be a pastry that my wife often made, because my son and I don't like sweet snacks, so she found a way to make this pastry, and added flower petals to it, so that when eating, it still has a fragrance, but their mother and son have been dead for more than 30 years! Speaking of this, Guan Lao picked up a piece of egg yolk cake and ate it, closed his eyes, chewed it slowly, until the pastry in his mouth was swallowed, and then continued:

"When I was ten years old, I met Master and studied medicine with him, and it was not until I was twenty years old that I opened a medical hall on my own, and then I got married at the age of twenty-two, and my wife was born in poverty, but she was knowledgeable and knowledgeable, and at the age of twenty-three I had a son, and the family of three was happy. But because my medical skills have saved a lot of people, my reputation is getting better and better, and there are more and more people going to the medical center, so gradually, I went home later and later, and even didn't go back for a few days, and I slept directly in the medical hall, and finally when I was 30 years old and my son was 7 years old, something happened! ”

When Guan Lao said this, he pursed his lips and closed his eyes again, as if he couldn't bear to say any more. Zhan Xiaoyan knew that what happened next must be very cruel or very sad, although she wanted to know Guan Lao's past, but looking at his expression, she didn't intend to let him continue, so she wanted to interrupt him. However, before Zhan Xiaoyan could say anything, Guan Lao opened his eyes and continued:

"That night it was pouring rain, and I was in the infirmary to treat a patient with internal injuries and knife wounds, because he had to prick his points with silver needles to force out the bruises in his body, and to bandage his legs and hands, and he was sent in the middle of the night, and told me not to say that he had come, so he should be a noble person. However, on that night, my son had a fever, and Mrs. asked Xiaoyu, who was guarding the door, to come over to inform me, saying that my son, Brother Mao, had a fever and asked me to go back quickly! I was worried, but I couldn't, and I didn't dare to let go of the patient in my hand, so I told Xiaoyu about the way to cool down Brother Mao, and asked him to wait for me to go back.

However, when Xiaoyu went back, he found that my wife had taken Brother Mao and asked the coachman to drive the carriage out, saying that she was looking for a doctor. However, at such a late hour, how could the doctor understand it so easily? Even the open hospital was already very small, but when crossing a bridge, the horse's hooves slipped, and even the horse and carriage fell into the river, only the coachman had time to jump the carriage and survived, and the mother and son fell directly into the carriage, because the water was turbulent and the rain was too strong, so they drowned. When I found them, it was already early hours, and my wife was still holding Brother Mao tightly, even if she died, she couldn't break Brother Mao's hand, and finally buried the two of them together! ”

Speaking of this, Guan Lao closed his eyes again, and Zhan Xiaoyan obviously saw that there was a glitter in the corners of his eyes, she knew that he needed to be quiet at this time, so she didn't make a sound, just fell on the stack of egg yolk cakes. She thought that for so many years, Guan Lao must have always felt guilty and self-blame, and she must have felt that if she didn't go back so late, if Brother Mao had a fever, she was by her side, then everything must be different. Even after so many years, the death of his wife and son on the same day is not such an easily forgotten wound for him.

"As for the egg yolk cake, I have rarely been able to eat it since my wife died, and the last time five years ago, when I was treating the wife of an old friend, the cook in his house happened to make it, and I ate a few pieces. Today I saw that you were making dim sum, and I remembered for a while, so I asked you to help me make a stack of egg yolk cakes. Even though it has been more than 30 years, I have never forgotten this taste, and I have never forgotten the appearance of their mother and son! And before my wife died, the last time she made me egg yolk cake was with plum petals. ”

Guan Lao said, picked up a piece of egg yolk cake again and ate it, this egg yolk cake is a poison for him, and it is addictive, the kind of poison that he can't quit for the rest of his life. Because if he doesn't eat, he can't help it, and if he does, he will keep thinking of his wife and children, so the memories will be very clear. And after so many years, he still does not choose to forget, but chooses to remember, and let this feeling of guilt and self-blame always haunt his heart.

"Grandpa, I don't know what to say about the deceased, but for those of us who are still alive, we can only live every day seriously, with nostalgia, guilt, or peace of mind for the people we can't forget. No matter what kind of emotion it is, since it is our own choice, we can only bear it like this all the time. Because since we don't want to forget, we always remember them, and as for what kind of emotions and emotions to remember, it only depends on our own choices and judgments, right? ”

Zhan said with a smile, walked to Guan Lao's side, picked up a piece of egg yolk cake and ate it. She knew that Guan Lao's heart was not calm at this time, and the reason why he said this to himself was only because he wanted to find someone to confide in what he had been hiding in his heart, no matter who this person was, as long as it was someone he could trust, then now this person was himself. But since he said it to himself, then she should also enlighten him about something, so that he doesn't feel guilty and blame himself all the time.

"Really? Maybe so! However, I still feel that if I had gone back earlier, there would not have been that patient at the door; If I had been at home at that time, I would have been able to deal with it in time when Brother Mao had a fever, instead of waiting until Xiaoyu came to inform me, I would have known that he had a fever! However, if it's just ifs, everything can't go backwards, and what has happened can't be repeated, so I can only remember them all the time, and I'll never see them again in my lifetime! ”

Guan Lao said in a daze. What Zhan Xiaoyan said at this time, he had said to himself thousands of times and tens of thousands of times in his heart, but he couldn't convince himself all the time, because the feeling of guilt and self-blame would always prevail. So for more than 30 years, he seems to be free and easy, but the scars in his heart have never healed.

"That's good, grandpa, you describe the appearance of grandma and brother, and I will draw them and mother and son, so that you can have a thought. And although I don't know what my grandmother thought when she took my brother out at that time, she must have thought about getting my brother's fever down quickly, and she also understood your busyness in the hospital, knowing that you haven't come back so late because you have a patient in your hands. Grandpa, you said that she is a person who knows books and etiquette, and I believe that you must be very happy in the seven or eight years you have been together, and she must be a person who understands you very well.

So now, their mother and son have been away for more than 30 years, grandpa should not let himself be swayed by guilt and self-blame, and occasionally think about good memories. Okay, grandpa, you can describe it! Zhan smiled and walked to the desk, picked up the paintbrush, and waited for Guan Lao to describe their appearance, and she was ready to put down her strokes.

"Is that so? I see! That's what happened! Hahaha...... "Guan Lao repeated the word 'like this' three times, and the tone became heavier and heavier each time, and finally with clarity and relief, it seemed that the depression in his heart had been opened, just because of the words of the smile, a few simple words that could not be simpler. He understands it, and he knows it, but he has always trapped himself in that horn, so he can't get out, and he has been like this for so many years. Now that I understand this truth, I realize that it is so simple!

Grandpa must still remember it very clearly, now let's draw the appearance of their mother and son, so that you can always see, from another angle, with another mood to look at, that is very good! Zhan smiled and began to draw, first drawing a rough outline, determining the position of the three of them on the painting, how to look more than a family photo. As for Guan Lao, as long as Zhan Xiaoyan painted his beard and hair white, and then the wrinkles on his forehead and the corners of his eyes were gone, he would be thirty years old.

"I said you're a kid, it's really urgent, I haven't even described it, you started drawing! Then I'll tell you, your grandmother is a small jasper type, her eyebrows and eyes are ......" Guan Lao began to describe carefully, very carefully, even how long his wife's hair was, how tall his son was, he said it clearly, obviously because of so many years, recalling their appearance over and over again, so he could open his mouth and say it at this time, so clearly, so carefully.

"Okay, grandpa, since you are relieved, then hurry up and describe the appearance of grandpa and brother, and I will draw you a family photo. Although it has been more than 30 years, since Grandpa has always been a person and has never forgotten them, I think they "Grandpa, is that so?" An hour later, when the family portrait was finished, Zhan Xiaoyan put down the brush, and then asked with some uncertainty. Because this is not the person in her memory, she drew it after listening to Guan Lao's description, so I don't know how it was drawn, I hope it is not far from the person in his memory!

"Yes, that's good! Girl, you draw so well, it's exactly what I remember them look like! Well, then I thank you, and I will always treasure this painting. Okay, it's not early, it's time for dinner again, I'm going to boil medicine for Xiao Ning, you are almost going to eat when you stay in the study, just now when I came in, I saw Aunt Fu give Xiaoya to Yan Xiaozi, let him hold him for a while, and she went to the kitchen to wash vegetables and choose vegetables. When Aunt Fu gave Xiaoya to Yan Xiaozi just now, she was still awake and playing with her fingers, so I don't know if Xiaoya is asleep or crying now? ”

Guan Lao said, he carefully rolled up the painting, and then walked out of the study, with an interesting smile on his face, obviously planning to see Yan Qihao's jokes. When the depression is opened, the mood will be more cheerful, and then you will remember the things that you have forgotten or ignored before, and you will become very interested, and you will be in the mood to see other people's jokes.

"Smiling, where did you put your diaper? Xiaoya just peed, I want to change her, but I can't find where the diaper is! Sure enough, Zhan Xiaoyan walked out of the study, and when he was about to come to Yan Qihao's room and knock on the door, he was walking towards him, shaking his hand, and said in a little panic. A big man, or a big man from a noble background, naturally it is impossible to serve the feces and urine of the little baby, so whether it is holding a child today, it is the first experience, and it is inevitable that he will be in a hurry.

"Okay, I'm going to get diapers, if your hands are dirty, go wash them quickly, it's time for dinner!" With a smile on his face, he walked to the room. Because she wants to take Xiaoya now, she and Aunt Fu sewed five diapers for Xiaoya to replace. Usually when Bai Junya wants to pee or pull, she will hum and chirp, but this time Yan Qihao should not notice it in time, so she will pee out directly and wet the diaper.

"Huh, huh? That's good, then Xiaoya will be handed over to you, I'll wash my hands! Yan Qihao said, and hurriedly walked to the kitchen, because whether it was cold water or hot water, it was only available in the kitchen, and looking at his back, it seemed that he was still a little deserted and fled.

Zhan Xiaoyan looked at Yan Qihao's back who couldn't wait to leave, shook his head funny, and then hurriedly took the diaper. In this kind of weather, you can't let your child stick to the wet diaper for too long, which is uncomfortable, and secondly, it is easy to get sick from the cold, and children are always more delicate than adults, so you should pay attention to a little problem. (To be continued.) )