Winters in the south are cold. That kind of cold, there is no cold wind, and there are no snowflakes in the sky, but the kind of cold is cloudy, even the wind is wet, mixed with cold, burrowing into the heart, making people shiver.

That **** and Fan Chengze finally separated, she didn't go upstairs, but left. His small building is just their post station, the best time of love, but no one will stay there forever. She said: "We are all quiet, and after a while, we will not be as entangled as we are today." Fan Chengze didn't answer her, her eyes were no longer incomprehensible. She didn't know if he was persuaded by himself, or if he had lost patience with himself, he might have made up his mind, and he finally let go of himself in a deep embrace.

Unexpectedly, Fan Chengze went to South Africa, and before leaving, he sent her a message. "When you can't decide something, you flip a coin," he said. If you throw it once and you want to throw it a second time, then you have the answer. I went to South Africa. May you be well. "If you're well, it's a sunny day. I still remember, but when I think about it, I don't feel uncomfortable. She didn't toss a coin, nor did she ask him when he would return, her life returned to the indifference of the first time she returned to K City, hiding too many things on her mind, but there was a superficial peace. These days, she lives a very clean life. Except that Wang Sisi found her.

Although this woman has too many entanglements with herself, she has never seen each other so closely. Su Xiaoyan didn't want to see it, but she blocked the door of the TV station. She smiled dumbly, she handed in her resignation again, after she heard the rumors that she might be put on standby, her resignation made the director breathe a sigh of relief, and the obvious apology in the corner of her eyes made her smile instead of complaining, and she knew it in her heart. She doesn't love fighting, she just wants to get out of this maelstrom.

Wang Sisi looked at the box she was holding, and there was a triumphant chuckle on the corner of her mouth. Su Xiaoyan didn't care, put the things in the trunk, and wanted to leave.

"Miss Su, let's sit down together." Wang Sisi's voice sounded humble and polite, although Su Xiaoyan remembered her ex-husband's lover Zhou Yu at the time, but they were always different. She glanced at Wang Sisi who was standing aside, this is an excellent girl, although she is a bit arrogant, but she does have capital. Her makeup is exquisite, and she is well-dressed, but there is a subtle frustration hidden in the corners of her eyes. Su Xiaoyan lowered her head, slightly compassionate, in public, Wang Sisi will always take care of her face.

"Are you angry?" As soon as he sat down, Wang Sisi said a sentence without a head.

Just like the guilt he felt just now, Su Xiaoyan also sympathized with Wang Sisi's provocation. If you don't understand what your opponent cares about, the damage you're inflicting becomes ridiculous. She wanted to laugh, but Wang Sisi's reminder also remembered some things from the past, and her face sank. "Miss Wang, no matter what you did to me in the past, I hope we don't have anything to do with each other in the future. Otherwise, there is no point in hurting others and self-harm. ”

"Su Xiaoyan, don't think you've won. Fan Chengze can be with me for the sake of his family background, and he will also be with others for other interests. This time, it was me who withdrew, not him. ”

"Well, thanks for the reminder."

"You?" Wang Sisi instantly lost interest in fighting for Su Xiaoyan, who was not alarmed, took a sip of coffee, and looked at her so coldly. "Do you think that without me, you and Fan Chengze can finally be together. I heard that his family is looking for a daughter-in-law again, and his marriage is about it. ”

Su Xiaoyan sighed and said, "Miss Wang, you know me very well, you should know that I once had a marriage. A woman like me is really not as good as you. You look forward to love, look forward to marriage, dare to love and hate, very real, dare to use means to obtain love, dare to give up the marriage contract for dignity. Actually, I don't hate you, on the contrary, I envy you. I've felt everything you're doing now. What is a pity in exchange? A failed marriage. I love Fan Chengze, I worked hard, but in exchange for his marriage contract with you. I don't know if I still love him now, but I can be sure that I don't want to love too hard, even if it can only be one person, I want to live quietly, for the sake of life, for myself, and live. ”

Wang Sisi seemed to understand whether he understood or not, and his eyes wandered. The two looked at each other silently for a few seconds, maybe Wang Sisi didn't understand, but he didn't hate it so much for a moment.

"Where do you go next?"

"It's not decided yet, but I'm going to settle in H City." Su Xiaoyan replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh. I also like H City. However, this time my uncle has moved north, and I may be preparing to settle there as well. It's just too cold in the north. Wang Sisi shrugged his shoulders slightly.

"Actually, the cold in the south is even more unbearable." Su Xiaoyan replied lightly.

"That's right." Wang Sisi smiled. "I really hope that your coldness can make Fan Chengze feel a sense of failure."

Su Xiaoyan watched Wang Sisi leave gracefully, and thought: Such a girl will still have love and marriage in the future, but she is really old.

The ban period has passed, and the night sky of the city begins to be full of fireworks. Su Xiaoyan often stood for a long time, tilting his neck, until he saw the city return to silence. She realized the truth that "fireworks are easy to cold and personnel are easy to separate" prematurely, and hid herself, just wanting to be harmless.

Pan Renjun went to the UK to spend the Spring Festival with his son. Before leaving, he said to Su Xiaoyan, "I'll wait for you to think slowly." Then, in order to make Su Xiaoyan look more relaxed, he said: "Look at you with a straight face, you really don't want to marry me, I won't eat you, be happy." His smile was very hearty and real, and Su Xiaoyan laughed as well. She understood his brief absence. He didn't want to persecute her, and he understood that she couldn't be persecuted, such a woman could only figure it out by herself and make a decision. So, as smart as he can only take a step back and give her space to think. At this age, you don't have to be anyone, so why let good things get worse.

This Spring Festival, Su Xiaoyan felt particularly lonely. Chen Xinran asked her family to go to Chiang Mai, but this year, her grandmother was newly mourned, and the family could not go far away, so she begged Chen Xinran to come back for a few days. Chen Xinran on the other end of the computer video seemed to be a little tempted, but he didn't give an accurate number. I don't know why, Su Xiaoyan thought of Fan Chengguang in her reminiscing expression, so she quickly changed the topic and stopped mentioning letting her come back.

The Spring Festival is approaching, and occasionally when the sun comes out, I feel a little warmer when I look at the crowds on the streets. Although Su Xiaoyan doesn't like to move, he also likes to be lively. I like to watch people's faces overflow with endless life, I like to listen to the chatter of parents, and I always feel that life is so plain and stable in these mundane things. Take Xixi, shuttle through the crowded crowd, walk around, don't be in a hurry, watch people write couplets on the spot, buy New Year's paintings, and talk to Xixi about the customs of the New Year. Mother Xiao Qiuyun kept shaking her head, saying that she was a young woman, don't live her life like an old lady.

Wang Boli paid dividends at the end of the year and held a dinner to treat shareholders. After eating, Su Xiaoyan wanted to leave, but Xiao Qiuyun took Xixi and left first, so she had to stay and play with the young man. She thought it was okay, so she went to KTV to sing. After a few songs, after a few glasses of wine, the atmosphere was warmer, and there would be a kind of apocalyptic plot at the end of the year, Su Xiaoyan's mood was also happy, and he had a good time playing with his brothers and sisters from several relatives.

She was a road idiot, went to the toilet, couldn't find the box, and didn't take the mobile phone, so she could only look at the almost push a few and go in to find it. The box that was pushed forward this time may have just opened, the lights were very bright, and the guests had just come in, and they all turned to look at her. She hurriedly wanted to withdraw, but saw Fan Chengguang among them, he turned to look at her, she didn't explore his eyes, she could only bow her head and smile politely, pretending to ignore a woman he was holding, and immediately turned around and walked out. This episode made her not want to go back to the box, so she found a quiet platform to blow the cold air. She couldn't understand why she was sad when she saw Fan Chengguang hugging others. That person is not Fan Chengze, what is she sad for? Because Chen Xinran? Because Fan Chengze has the same blood as him? Or is it because of love itself that makes her feel so vulnerable?

She sighed slightly, and that low and negative emotion enveloped her again, like this night, which made people unable to break free.

"Su Xiaoyan, long time no see." When did Fan Chengguang follow, standing by the railing with her, and also watching the night. "I went to Chiang Mai the other day."

"Oh." Su Xiaoyan suddenly understood Chen Xinran's expression on the other end of the video, they had met. She wanted to say something, but she didn't know what to say, so she could only listen.

"I saw her standing in front of the shop, fiddling with her flowers, and the sun tanned her skin a little, and she lost a little weight. However, I don't think she's ever been as good as she was back then. Fan Chengguang lit a cigarette and continued: "She said that she is very close to a young man from Malaysia, and if possible, she will get married next year." ”

"Oh." Su Xiaoyan had seen this man in Chen Xinran's circle of friends, but she understood very well that it was not Chen Xinran's boyfriend, she didn't want to explain, and she didn't want to ask Fan Chengguang if he really believed it? Just a faint expression, continue to listen to him.

"And me." Fan Chengguang turned his face, his eyes were confused, and said, "Just like you see many men here, I'm like this." ”

Su Xiaoyan nodded, and looked thoughtfully at the drunken gold fan behind him, but he didn't know what to say. The two of them stood for a while, and without mentioning Fan Chengze, they left separately.

At night, lying on the bed alone, listening to the noisy sound of firecrackers outside, Su Xiaoyan covered her face in annoyance, she actually wanted to know if Fan Chengze would come back for the Spring Festival? Is it okay to be so far away in South Africa? However, she turned to his brother and didn't ask anything. If Fan Chengze knew, would he be sad about his decision? Memories are flooding with memories, accompanied by the sound of fireworks blooming, fall asleep.

The Spring Festival has passed. Su Xiaoyan didn't receive Fan Chengze's message, and a New Year's message she edited was not sent out in the end. However, unexpectedly, she posted a group photo on Fan Chengxi's WeChat circle of friends, she went to South Africa to see Fan Chengze, compared to Fan Chengxi's fairness, Fan Chengze next to her was dark-skinned and thin. Su Xiaoyan felt that his heartbeat slowed down, saved the picture, and still rotated the coin in his hand, but still didn't throw it.

Years later, the house in H City began to be renovated, waiting for September, Xixi entered the primary school to live in, and Su Xiaoyan also found a job in a medium-sized magazine. She also applied for the graduate school of Z University, wanting to make herself study and enrich. Move the family to H City. Su Xiaoyan avoided all possible contact with her ex-husband, and only approved that Xixi occasionally go to her grandmother's house for the night. Su Xiaoyan's restraint, prudence and kindness made Zhou Yu finally really let go of her prejudices and admired her in her heart.

This year, the waves have passed uneventfully. At the end of the year, Xiao Qiuyun took Xixi on winter vacation back to K City early. Su Xiaoyan continued to stay in H City alone because of work, and this familiar city was empty all of a sudden. Sometimes she doesn't drive, she doesn't worry, she just sits on the bus and looks out from one stop at a time.

Chen Xinran once asked her: "Are you ready to do this for the rest of your life?" ”

Su Xiaoyan said: "If you can't meet someone who will love, you will love regardless of knowing nothing." ”

Chen Xinran once asked in WeChat: "Did you take the initiative to contact him?" ”

Su Xiaoyan's nose suddenly became sour, and he said: "Yes, but he didn't reply to me." That is, she was slightly drunk after a party, and felt that the whole world was not the person she wanted to see, and that night, she called him and sent him WeChat, but there was no response.

Perhaps, because he was too confident but couldn't get a response, vaguely, Su Xiaoyan seemed to feel that Fan Chengze had left, and he was no longer the one who stood downstairs in early winter and waited for him to change his mind. She made him wait too long, her indifference, her determination, made him no longer nostalgic.

One year fireworks went up. Dream-like splendor, like her fleeting love.

Finally, the end of the year was over, and she watched her colleagues move things in pairs and take them home, and her heart was slightly sour. Take a aimless stroll around H City and prepare to return to K City tomorrow. In fact, she knew that she just wanted to pass by the intersection of Fan Chengze's house and see what was wrong there, but she didn't dare to get out of the car. By the time I returned to the community, it was already past 9 o'clock. She slowly paced home amid the fireworks in the sky.

"Su Xiaoyan!" Someone called her, she was stunned, she didn't have time to determine if the voice was hers, and tears flowed down for some reason. The more fierce it became, it was as if it was calm, motionless.

He came over and stood across from her, she didn't dare to look, she was still crying, and she even cried out loud.

Fan Chengze didn't react for a while: "You think I'm dead?" Why did I call you, and you cry like you've seen a ghost? ”

Su Xiaoyan didn't answer, looked up at him, unbelieving, unwilling, and slightly embarrassed.

"Dumb? Just don't wait to see me, I've been waiting for you all night, and I can't figure out where you're going. Fan Chengze turned around and looked behind Su Xiaoyan, and suddenly said, "You won't have a boyfriend, right?" ”

"your boyfriend!" Su Xiaoyan pushed him away and walked inside.

Fan Chengze hugged her, hugged her tightly, and sighed slightly, "What should I do with you?" ”

Behind him, fireworks bloomed again. Su Xiaoyan has a lot of questions to ask him, what did you do in Africa, why did you come back? Did you know that I contacted you? How are you doing now? Will your family oppose us again? But in the end, Su Xiaoyan didn't ask anything, turned around, and hugged the embrace that haunted her, never wanting to let go again.

Fan Chengze patted her on the shoulder and said, "Xiaoyan, it's so good, we are still together." ”

(End of book) (To be continued.) )

(Tianjin)