April 25th

There was a knock on the door of "DuangDuangDuangDuang", and the author reluctantly woke up, and when he raised his eyes, he found that it was already one o'clock in the afternoon.

The author patted the typing sister next to him: "Hey! Open the door for the guests! ”

The typing sister didn't say a word, and kicked the author under the bed: "Go by yourself!" ”

Through the door, the author shouted, "Who! Big noon! Is there still a sense of public morality? Do you know that trespassing on a private house is punishable? Sue you, you are disturbing the people, I am a contracted writer www.biquge.info Biquge, and I am a person with an ID card! If you don't have a good explanation, beware I'll sue you! My owner is a big company, and I can definitely get you to go bankrupt! ”

"Sir! Express delivery! There was a distant and neutral voice outside the door, it was a man, his dantian qi was extraordinarily rich, and his voice had an ethereal and extraordinary atmosphere, he was definitely a great man in the world.

The author Jun did not rush to open the door for him, because of professional reasons, the author Jun has a natural defense against the profession of express delivery, these people may be disguised by another part of the people - there is a sentence to say? Not every courier has a package in his hand, and not every courier brother is kind to you!

"Hey, typing sister! Have you been shopping for the past two days? The author woke up the typing sister who was returning to sleep, and asked hurriedly.

The typing sister said sleepily: "No, what's wrong?" ”

The author's face changed, and his head turned a thousand times, what did he do wrong? Can the Chinese Divine Army come to the door? It seems that this can't be good! It is necessary to prepare in advance. The author took out a kitchen knife from the kitchen and pinned it to his waist in case of emergency.

"Sir! Please sign for your courier! The voice of the courier brother outside the door became more and more anxious, it seemed that the other party couldn't hold back and wanted to attack! A single security door can't prevent them from being armed to the teeth, and the author must do something when they are surrounded by people.

"Typing sister! Thank you for being with you for so many years, I love you! The author returned to the bedroom affectionately and said to the typing sister, the tenderness in his eyes can melt the ice of ten thousand years. The author-kun gently kissed her forehead in the surprised gaze of the typing sister, and then walked to the living room and made a phone call.

"Mom, the child is not filial, I can't give you a pension, no one will gnaw at the old age after the end, let's live a good life with my father!" Without waiting for his mother to say anything, the author hung up the phone.

Then he continued to rummage through the phone book: "Hello? Jia Chen? I'm the author, I want to say, liking you is the best thing in this life, remember to take care of yourself in the future, don't be like a tomboy anymore, find a good man to marry"

Speaking of which, the author couldn't cry anymore, hung up the phone with all his might, and then pouted the phone card in half, threw it into the toilet and flushed it to twist that there is no more author in the world, friends, cherish.

Finally, the author put on his most handsome windbreaker and opened the security door, and said to the courier brother in a righteous and awe-inspiring manner: "Let's go, where is the car?" ”

"What? The car is outside the door? What's wrong big brother? The courier brother asked.

"Oh" The author walked out coldly, leaving the courier brother alone.

"Big brother" courier brother wanted to say and stopped.

"Needless to say, I admit it, as long as you don't hurt my family and my friends, I'll go with you." The author said heavily, and the breeze blew his black trench coat, which had a particularly tragic beauty.

"But," the courier brother said slightly.

The author waved his hand: "I used to do violent demolitions, led student demonstrations when I was in college, wrote a book against the imperial court, and also made up a little yellow joke to satirize current politics and didn't do it, why am I still stunned?" Take me away! Hello go back on a business trip, don't worry, I won't resist. This knife is just for self-preservation, you can take it away"

The courier brother went crazy: "Big brother! I'm a courier! Do you hurry up and sign for the mail? What are you doing here? Filming a cop movie? Who wants to arrest you in broad daylight! Big brother, you are too deep in the play! ”

The author touched the back of his head: "What? You're not from the national security! ”

"I'm a courier! I understand! Big brother, you're taking me for a catch! Scared the hell out of me! I thought I was mentally ill! No, this is your package, it's a small piece to sign your name here, thank you, big brother! After the courier brother asked the author to sign his name, he threw down the package and left. Only the author Jun with a dog on his face was left, and the author felt that only he and the 10,000 grass and mud horses galloping in front of him were left in heaven and earth!

"Lying alpaca (lying grass mud horse)! This girl is really a courier! I'm doing oolong! Oh, my God! Did I say goodbye to my mother just now? Did you confess to the girl you had a crush? Oh, my God! It's a dead life! The author wailed in his heart.

Time seemed to have stopped, only the author-kun was messy in the wind, and it was the typing sister's voice that woke me up: "Hey! Hurry up and update! Don't be a eunuch! ”

The author rolled up his trench coat and walked back to the house slowly with his slippers.

The typing sister asked, "Who sent the package?" ”

"I don't know, let's take it apart first!" The author picked up the scissors with his hands and feet to unpack the package wrapped in layers of tape, and looked at the contents of the package in a cold sweat.

It is said that the things in this express are called a peculiar, there are poems:

boxy and an inch long,

The cold light is cold.

The two sides of the ghostly blade are long,

It is the strongest of the short soldiers.

The author Jun was speechless and sighed: "Who sent the blade in particular?" ”

The sharp-eyed typing sister took out a letter of conviction from the courier box:

"Dear Mr. Yang Ruhong, I am your loyal reader. I really like your new book now"

The author raised his eyebrows triumphantly and motioned for the typing sister to continue reading.

"But your character is so bad! The first book is an inexplicable eunuch, the second book, the third book did not last until the end, I think as a loyal reader, I need to remind you that if an author is always a eunuch, he will really become a eunuch, so I have prepared for you in advance the instrument of the palace - the blade! If you don't want to use it, then please update it on time, with quality and quantity, otherwise, the anger of our readers will turn into a sky of blades to castrate your dick"

The author Jun looked at each other, and said: "It's not that I want the eunuch's works to be kept without readers, rewards, collections, recommendations, contracts, subscriptions, and eunuchs?" ”

The typing sister glanced at the author: "Have you seen it?" The chief eunuch has been punished, right? Someone sent the blade, right? Look you're too much of a prisoner! ”

The author Jun said to the typing sister: "What, if you take out your mobile phone, I will kneel and apologize to the reader!" When my collection breaks 10,000, I'll release this video! ”

PS. The video is really there, if you want to watch it, it's up to you!