The diary begins:

You don't know how hard the second half of pregnancy can be. Pen? Interesting? Pavilion wWw. ｂiquge。 ｉｎfo

I thought that when I was done, the feeling of weight was gone, my legs were swollen, I was able to bend over, and my life would gradually turn to normal.

But just when I was sweating and taking weak steps, feeling as light as a swallow before I had time to be happy, I realized that it was just what I thought.

……

My mother took good care of me, and I can't imagine anyone else who can be as good as her except her.

From five o'clock in the morning, I used Codonopsis, red dates, and wolfberries to boil water, and I boiled for more than an hour, standing aside and watching. She was by her side from morning to night, until I was breastfeeding in the middle of the night.

For a few days, she was in a top-heavy state, and I could see that she was walking and wandering, and our father was distressed and wanted to help her, but she was scolded for everything, she couldn't believe anyone, couldn't look down on her, and was very angry.

That kind of good, good made me cry secretly several times, and my heart was a heavy mess.

It's also this kind of goodness that makes me about to collapse.

Starting from the first biochemical soup, peanut pig's feet soup, fish soup, chicken soup, pork rib soup, kidney flower soup, belly slice soup, plus various porridges, you sound pretty good?

Chu Yifeng, can you imagine what it tastes like without soy sauce or vinegar, without salt and grain?

I just want to eat a bowl of spicy noodles now, and I want to cry when I want to eat it.

I was pushed out of the delivery room, and I am most grateful to my mother, but what I hate the most now is her, I really hate it!

Since I had milk, she rubbed my chest and hurt me, and asked her to be light again and again, but she didn't lighten it, and it was not easy to yell at her, and my two younger brothers stood in the yard in the winter and didn't dare to enter the house.

After a while, my mother was wronged and came back after wiping her tears, and continued to come forward to rub it, but I didn't dare to cry, so I could only turn my head sideways and look elsewhere to endure it. Because I know that when I cry, she will have to quarrel with me because I don't hurt my eyes.

Don't be barefoot, you have to wear socks, and forgetting it has become a big thing for us.

Don't wear shoes with leaky heels, she'll scold me for forgetting once.

I can't sit up and walk around all the time, and I just walked around the room twice and followed me to pick me up, and I was in a very depressed mood...... But he never asked me if I could lie down or not.

You are not allowed to wear this or that dress, and you are not allowed to show your neck. But she was busy and forgot, patronizing the diapers of our two treasures, the living room was like the flag of the Eight-Nation Alliance, and she forgot to wash my clothes, what am I wearing? I wasn't allowed to touch the water, and I was confined like a handicapped.

You can't open the window, you can't stand at the door, you can't even stand in the kitchen and look at the sky outside, saying that there is wind in the door.

She was very exaggerated, and the next day she made a quilt to block the kitchen door, and muttered to me: "Da Nier, look at how busy I am, can't you be honest, feel sorry for me?" He found me a job. ”

I was not allowed to read, read newspapers, or watch TV, so I quarreled with her, and I watched it for a while, and it was done for a while, even if it was a news broadcast, she was going to smash the TV and tear up my books.

Bi Cheng stopped her and said read it to me, and also asked her to be quiet, don't disturb the children, and she let me go. Even you can't write a diary for more than fifteen minutes.

You can't hold your baby, and you have to be on your side to feed.

Xiaoxi and Xiaolongren look the same every day, they are very beautiful, and I have long forgotten how ugly they are.

I only hugged it for a while, and my mother scolded me when she saw it. Asked me if I wanted my arm, I said no, I couldn't care, she sat in front of me and cried as if she suddenly pulled her nerves, crying liver and intestines, I suddenly lost any mood.

Not to mention bathing the kids.

I can't take a shower and wash my hair, itchy, I scratch my hair, scratch my scalp, I'm going crazy......

Why do you say it's so much, no, is it that she did so much when she gave birth to me?

The words I hear the most every day are: Bi Yue, don't be born in the midst of blessings and don't know blessings. You let my mother save worry, do you think it's easy for me? You are sick, you dig out my heart and liver. I beg you.

She begs me, and who do I beg for? She was constantly burdening me.

Lying down every day, every day in this acre and three points of land, there is not even freedom of movement, and the prisoners are not as good.

I can't even look at the palm-sized sky, and I'm going to suffocate to death.

There is no timetable for living every day, as long as one of the creeks and dragons wakes up, I have to get up and feed.

If the children have diarrhea or dry up one day, and your grandmother and my mother all look at me, I will become a sinner.

I envy it, I envy everything I had before, but now I have lost it.

I envy my good friend's face, the skin, the coat, the waist, the high heels, and the casualness that floats in in the wind when I say go.

Look at yourself in the mirror again: tomorrow and tomorrow lie down, not like being blown by the wind at the construction site, but the dark circles under his eyes are actually very heavy, his face is yellow, and his spirit is very poor.

Look at the stomach again, it's so good, I can't wait to cut all the belly belts, what's the use of wrapping it? Wrapped in layers of sweat, isn't it still ugly?

Chu Yifeng, when you see what I wrote, will you think I'm going crazy at this time? I've felt that way a few times, too.

If you think, your grandmother will echo my mother, my mother will be no, no, no, someone else has a husband to complain about, who am I going to talk to?

Although I know that every woman can have children, this is not a special skill.

Every woman will experience a life of childbirth hanging by a thread and a difficult confinement life, what am I special about, what do I complain about.

But I don't know how many women will be like me at this moment, often crawling back from the brink of collapse, and automatically digesting the crazy emotions without a trace.

Close this diary, and pretend to be a good person, optimistic about life.

No wonder some people say that women will be depressed after giving birth, and they don't lie to me.

……

However, Chu Yifeng, you have to join me in thanking my mother.

The first time our creek raised its head when it was prone in our house, it was discovered by my mother.

The first time our little dragon people slept and laughed, it was discovered by my mother.

Xiaoxi will use a wow cry, Xiaolongren will use a whining cry, they will communicate with my mother with such a voice, and it will be difficult for them to meet a rookie mother like me, and I can't guess for a long time, as long as my mother can hear it.

Both of them can hold grandma's little thumb......

They can smell the smell of grandma, they will be happy to hug grandma, and they will smile at grandma from time to time inexplicably.

Probably grandma always praised them as the smartest children in the world, and they have been taking care of them since they were born.

The children have a better conscience than I do.

My mother is annoying in the days without you, but without her, I can't get there by myself.

You see, half of her hair is white, the wrinkles between her eyebrows have deepened, and she called me again, let me eat bird's nest porridge, fifteen minutes are up, hurry up and feed the children.

After writing this, I will stay up for another day, and I will be able to go out of confinement. My mother can't take care of me anymore, that's great!

I'm a bird flying in the sky, whizzing in your sedan chair, what about her?

Finally, to add an end to this confinement life, I have to complain:

Your sister comes to my house twice in three days, and your grandmother lives at my house, but what about your mother?

The beginning of spring has passed, the Lantern Festival has passed, what's the matter, she wants to come back on February 2nd?

And you, you're really your mother.

I'm not going to complain on the phone for a month I've been so sad, but you're going to have to be about the same.

This time it was very disappointing for me, I was very unhappy, I would not teach the children to call "Daddy". ”