In the past, Xu Qingfeng also thought that he would rather not meet Liang Jin.

Liang Jin is like a little prince living on the outskirts of the city. Liang Jianjun did everything he could to make him happy, including arranging for Xu Qingfeng - he let Xu Qingfeng live in Liang's house, and gave him a certain warning, knowing why he could live in.

Xu Qingfeng was in the stage of rebellion at that time, but he learned to disguise and compromise in a short period of time. He had worries and worries about Xu's father in his heart, as well as jealousy and rejection of Liang Jin.

Liang Jianjun always thought that Xu Qingfeng had a backbone in the back of his head, so he was just polite to him at first, but there was obvious defensiveness in his eyes. This attitude of the master's family directly affected the nanny's way of doing things, and the nanny aunt took Liang Jin as the master, and Xu Qingfeng as a little minion.

Xu Qingfeng couldn't touch everything in Liang's house, and when he touched the nanny here, he would say that it was easy to get dirty, and it was not easy to clean. A touch of the babysitter would remind him how valuable it was, and that he couldn't afford to pay for a child bear living here. Occasionally, he would be greedy and wanted to eat something when it wasn't a meal, whether it was biscuits or fruit, and the nanny would stop drinking, and cynicism would happen from time to time.

These are all things that Liang Jin doesn't know, and Liang Jianjun may not know either, but Xu Qingfeng can't say it, because he knows that the latter doesn't care. He was also very conflicted at that time, sometimes he felt that he could be fed and clothed, thanks to Liang Jin's help, so he should be grateful to him. But sometimes I feel that he would rather go out and be a wild child, suffering from the cold and cold, than living here without dignity and freedom.

In the end, he thought, let's do it first, one day Liang Jin will be tired of himself, and he will be relieved. So he murdered Liang Jin, avoided Liang Jin, and hit Liang Jin.

They have been classmates for 15 years, graduated from primary school with the tail of the 54 system, and became the pioneer of the 63 system in junior high school, and were younger than most of their classmates when they went to high school. They encouraged each other, sometimes argued but never separated, Liang Jin once sent him back to the dormitory after evening self-study every day, and he also took the hot water bottles of other classmates in order to wait for that stupid guy. has also had a cold war, apologized, softened, and won three points unreasonably, the process is colorful, but there is never suspense in the ending - he tutored Liang Jin word by word and grammar, and Liang Jin grabbed his hair and memorized the key points of knowledge that he couldn't remember at all. In the end, he is still his, classmates, friends, hair small, lovers.

It's easy to make a decision, but it's hard to really separate.

What Xu Qingfeng couldn't do with resentment back then still hasn't succeeded today.

What is Destiny?

It is probably a tribute to the past, or a practice of living towards death.

"I can't give up," Xu Qingfeng didn't sleep all night after seeing the photos of Liang Jin's frostbite, he thought: "Xu Qingfeng, you useless thing, you are still alive and well, just watching him suffer?" ”

Another voice retorted: "Long pain is better than short pain." ”

Xu Qingfeng squatted on the balcony and smoked one cigarette after another: "Is this sure to be foolproof?" What if the paper can't contain the fire, what if Qin Shi's incoherent words are missing? What if he bumps into him when you go to the hospital? What if others don't play with him well? In case of...... After you rolled into the coffin, he suddenly knew the bad news, and he couldn't bear it? ”

“……”

"What if you don't die early because of your good life, and you don't suffer from a serious illness all these years? Xu Qingfeng, are you willing to cut off all opportunities without regret and be a tragic hero? Or can you carry it again, endure it if you can endure it, and you can drag it out when you can be a comedy seed? ”

Xu Qingfeng went over and over again, allowing the hero and the bad seed to do it upside down in his heart, and finally when the dawn was approaching, the bad seed beat the hero to death. Xu Qingfeng bit the cigarette butt and thought, "I want to live, live well." Life, I want it. People, I want it too. ”

――

The report given by the hospital was looked at by Xu Qingfeng over and over again, and he couldn't see anything new.

A few years ago, he occasionally had low back pain, and at the time he thought it was a lumbar muscle strain, but now it seems to be a sign of the disease. The doctor's words at that time were very official, but his expression was very strict. Later, he asked a private doctor for more specific information.

The doctor, who had previously been a health practitioner for an important official, had retired and was recuperating at home. When Xu Qingfeng came to visit, the latter briefly looked at his physical examination report and frowned slightly.

Xu Qingfeng asked, "Is this a terminal illness?" ”

The old doctor did not speak.

Xu Qingfeng asked again: "That...... Can it be cured? "The so-called interlacing is like a mountain, no matter how transparent he is in his own industry, he is still illiterate here, and as soon as he opens his mouth, he is the worries and concerns of the laity.

The old doctor listened to such meaningless questions a lot, and didn't say anything, but explained concisely: "This disease is a genetic disease, and the higher the family incidence, the earlier the onset time, the more serious the disease will generally be, and the development speed will be faster in the future." ”

Xu Qingfeng reacted a little slowly, but he still understood.

It's not very easy to treat.

The old doctor kept pointing to his piece and report, and pointed his dry finger at one of them, and said, "If the cyst is large, it can be treated by puncture and sclerosing." But yours is less than 2cm, so it's a small cyst. Surgery for such a small cyst is not very effective. ”

-- That is even less optimistic.

Xu Qingfeng had been mentally prepared enough before he came, and this information was not much different from what he initially expected. But when I heard it again, I couldn't help but feel like I had opened a vent, and I was pouring cool air.

He exhaled slowly, his good-looking brows furrowed together and quickly flattened.

He asked, "Is that no effective treatment?" ”

The old doctor shook his head: "You can try Chinese medicine conditioning." In general, it is better to pay more attention to rest, diet, and pay attention to it. After he finished speaking, he thought that this was a young man after all, so he comforted him with a second-best sentence.

The general idea is that as long as the kidney function is delayed and damaged, there is no need to worry too much about the problem of longevity. After all, most patients will develop uremia after the age of 60. Even if there is kidney failure, it is far less terrible than cancer, and today's medical methods such as hemodialysis and kidney transplantation are common, and no matter what, the probability of survival is still very high.

Xu Qingfeng nodded. After a long silence, one last question was asked: "Now I have a lot of abdominal pain, and the pain is bearable." Don't you know that the pain is severe at the later stage of the disease? Can you endure it? If so, is there anything you can do to hide it from your family? ”

……

Xu Qingfeng politely thanked the old doctor, and after coming back, he weighed between being able to live and suffering a little guilt, and almost didn't experience any struggle, so he took Liang Jin home.

Liang Jin went home with a few boxes of painkillers and a handful of half-branch lotus seeds given to him by the old doctor.

――

Liang Jin faintly felt that Xu Qingfeng had changed.

Although these changes are extremely subtle, after all, he has lived with Xu Qingfeng for more than 20 years, and he feels naturally extremely sensitive.

For example, some of Xu Qingfeng's usual movements will become strange, once Liang Jin saw him about to enter the bathroom, but five or six seconds later, Xu Qingfeng's hand still fell on the doorknob of the bathroom, and the whole person was motionless like a sculpture. Liang Jin was surprised, and when he was about to ask him, Xu Qingfeng regained his natural state.

He naturally didn't know that Xu Qingfeng had a sudden back pain at that time, and his arm almost stiffened at that moment.

When the door to the bathroom closed, the people outside breathed a sigh of relief, but the people inside were already sweating profusely.

Another example is that Xu Qingfeng often goes into the kitchen by himself after meals to be busy for a while, sometimes to cut fruits, sometimes to make a cup of coffee. Or he occasionally goes to the balcony to make a phone call, and their balcony is not enclosed, and it is very cold in winter. Once Liang Jin wanted to call him in to fight, but when he pushed the door, he found that the door of the balcony was locked.

These things are big or small, but other than that, their lives are no different from the past. The two of them made the complicated white fungus stew together, Xu Qingfeng was responsible for washing and tearing the white fungus into small flowers, and Liang Jin was rolling the hair cabbage into small balls on the side.

The big bowl on the side is soaked with red radish, green bamboo shoots, white fresh mushrooms, and the steamer not far away is boiling water, steaming hot.

The two of them were crowded in the small kitchen, and if they turned around, they would accidentally bump into him, and at this time, Xu Qingfeng would squeeze him to the corner of the carding table and pretend to confess.

"Say, who are you?"

Liang Jin laughed.

The corners of Xu Qingfeng's mouth also went up, but his eyes were deliberately wide open, and he reached out to scratch him.

Liang Jin hurriedly surrendered, shouting for mercy: "I'm Liang Jin." ”

The steamer is steaming more and more upwards. Gradually, each other's faces were blurred.

"Who is Liang Jin?"

"Liang Jin is Xu Qingfeng's ......" Liang Jin paused, and said quietly and quickly: "...... Wife. ”

"Who is Xu Qingfeng?"

"Hey, aren't you annoying, hahahahaha" Liang Jin smiled and laughed and became bolder, and shouted loudly: "Xu Qingfeng is Liang Jin's husband!" ”

Liang Jin had never said such a meaty talk before, he had no chance, and there was no suitable atmosphere. This time it was said but it was extremely natural, Xu Qingfeng smiled slightly, leaned over and kissed him lightly on the face.

After they finished eating, they would look at the white porcelain flower pot sprinkled with half a lotus seed.

Liang Jin blinked and asked, "Well, will this really bloom?" ”

Xu Qingfeng glanced at him and nodded. Under the light, his eyebrows were deep and gentle, and his thin lips said softly: "Yes." He turned his head, looked at the black nutrient soil in the flower pot and asked, "Do you remember the road we took when we went home when we were children?" ”

Liang Jin nodded quickly, looking at him with sparkling eyes.

Xu Qingfeng said: "There is a small section of flowers on that road that is very beautiful, remember?" There are red, pink, white, and one by one. ”

At that time, the two little boys couldn't help but be attracted by the patches of dotted flowers, bean sprout-like leaves, red, pink, yellow and white flowers blooming all over the ground. The black seeds, which are smaller than a grain of rice, are picked out and sprinkled, and next year they will be another piece.

Liang Jin suddenly realized, and shouted with some excitement: "Ah, I know, short!" ”

"That's right," Xu Qingfeng smiled, pointed to the flower pot in front of him and said, "This is what is planted here." At the beginning of spring next year, it will be able to bloom. ”

"Ah, what's it called!"

"Half a branch lotus," Xu Qingfeng paused, and then said, "It's also called can't die." ”