At noon, Yuan Mu returned to the carpentry room, finished eating in the room, thought about it left and right, and still felt wronged, and finally called Sheng Fengshi.

"What's the matter?"

"Teacher Sheng, have you eaten well?"

"Hmm."

"I have something to tell you."

"Business or private business?"

"Private matters."

"I'll talk about it when you come to the office in the afternoon."

"Oh, good." Yuan Mu hung up the phone and went out with his bag on his back.

When Yuan Mu knocked on the door, Sheng Fengshi's face couldn't hide the surprise: "So early? ”

"I'm here to talk to you about personal matters."

Yuan Mu closed the door and put down his canvas bag, and sat down at Sheng Fengshi's desk with a bench, and Sheng Fengshi leaned back in his chair - almost exactly the same scene as in the morning.

"Say it." Sheng Fengshi glanced at the time, "I'll give you five minutes." ”

"Thank you." Yuan Mu extravagantly took five seconds to sort out his thoughts, and then unhurriedly began to state his statement, "There are many things we know in our hearts, I have always felt that these are not to be said, but you are always rejecting me, I think it may be because you are unwilling to face the facts, so I have to say it." You are the first person who makes me feel tacit and comfortable, the kind of ...... between us. Indescribable feeling, it's amazing, it makes me understand as soon as I see you, you are different to me. I liked you when I first met you, and every day with you was very slow and long, and I realized that my life should be like this, instead of seeing unfamiliar people every day, talking and watching scenes, and only feeling relaxed when I am alone. You might not expect it, but I think of you so often when I don't see you. ”

Yuan Mu was shy for five seconds, and seized the time to continue: "I don't like the very jerky feeling when communicating with people, I will communicate, because there is a need, I can't help but do it, but I don't like it." I can't just do what I don't like every day, so I make furniture, make gadgets, and go up the hill to stay...... All of this has given me a temporary relief, but I did it alone. You let me know that there is another way, I can stay with someone and say nothing, only comfort, no embarrassment, it's just amazing!

"And, you feel the same way as me, don't you? The first time we met, you looked at me for a long time, I am also different to you, I believe this. It is impossible for two people to get along and only one person feels comfortable and safe. But you deliberately didn't go with the flow with me, and I don't know why. I'm going to keep trying, because if I miss you, maybe I'll never meet a second person like this again, and even if I meet it's not you, I'll be sad until I'm old and can't forgive myself. If you have a problem that you don't want to say, I won't ask you, but can you give me a direction? Don't make me think I'm working hard and then I'm going in the wrong direction from start to finish. Is five minutes up? ”

Sheng Fengshi: "Two minutes to go." ”

Yuan Mu thought for a while and nodded: "I don't have anything to say." What about you? What are you going to say to me? ”

Sheng Fengshi: "Give me a minute to think about it." ”

Yuan Mu: "Okay. ”

For a minute, the legs stuck in the mire trudged through it with difficulty.

Sheng Fengshi's lips opened, as if there was no sigh, and said, "Yuan Mu, we have a lot of similarities and differences. You're younger than me, not two, not ten, twenty. If you say bitterness, this is my hardship, because you are twenty years younger than me, so I don't want to give you a chance. You are young and have little knowledge, so you think shallowly, there are some problems that you can't see but I can see, and what you think I shouldn't do is exactly the best choice I made for me after rational consideration. ”

"Only age?"

"That's the main thing."

Yuan Mu nodded, frowning slightly: "I can't solve this problem." Actually, I don't understand why age is a problem? I like you, and of course I like your age, your precipitation after the years; You like me, and you should like my youth, my freshness, short-sightedness, and impulsiveness. ”

"Do you remember the repulsion of physics?" Sheng Fengshi asked.

Less than three years after graduating from high school, Yuan Mu remembered effortlessly: "You rejected me because the distance was too close?" I have to stand still where gravity and repulsion are equal, and as soon as I move forward, there will be repulsion between us? ”

Sheng Fengshi nodded in praise: "Your memory is very good." ”

Yuan Mu said angrily: "But we are not molecules, this analogy is very inappropriate, your attempt to use such an excuse to prevaricate me is too much." ”

Sheng Fengshi: "......? ”

Yuan Mu's expression was stern: "You have to hide and hide from me, but you have to face my demands and respect my feelings." Mr. Sheng, I am very disappointed in you. ”

Still: "......"

Yuan Mu said energetically: "Do you want to say that you are doing this out of a self-protection mechanism?" Are you now clasping your hands to your chest because I'm making you feel dangerous? What exactly am I threatening you? You don't give me a clue at all, how can I find the answer? ”

Sheng Feng let go of his arms: "I ......"

"I won't hurt you. I thought we had this tacit understanding, but I didn't expect you to believe me, I was really hurt. Yuan Mu stared at Sheng Fengshi with wide eyes.

Blooming time: "......"

She didn't speak, because she was reflecting deeply: how did she push herself into such a situation? It was a very bad mistake and very damaging to the face of the forty-year-old.

Yuan Mu glared at Sheng Fengshi.

Sheng Fengshi moved his lips: "I ......"

"Your eyes are wrong, and you're looking for excuses, right?" Yuan Mu pointed sharply.

When Sheng Feng saw Yuan Mu's aggressive side for the first time, he was more surprised than happy. She gave up her defense and asked gently, "Yuan Mu, think about it seriously, is your attitude towards me the attitude of winning a friend?" ”

"But we're not even friends now." Yuan Mu said, "I don't have a few friends, and I haven't fought for friends, I think that the relationship between people should conform to nature, two people get along well, naturally they are friends, no one needs to make a special statement, and it is natural to be estranged in the future." I want to be close to you, but we're not friends now, and you won't. ”

Yuan Mu's answer seemed to be wrong, but Sheng Fengshi heard her true meaning and asked tentatively: "You mean, when we become friends, you may still want to continue to get closer?" ”

"Of course." Yuan Mu said, "'Friends' are just a sign of distance and proximity, some people can only get so close, and some people can get closer." ”

"How close do you want to be to me?"

"I don't know."

"Yuan Mu, part of the reason why I rejected you is: you don't know. I don't know, it's dangerous. The ignorant are not afraid, I know, I am afraid, do you understand? Sheng Fengshi's eyes were as calm as water, and he broke and crumpled them word by word, and said to Yuan Mu, who was full of honesty, "Sometimes the person who hurts is not out of intention, but the harm really happens, and at that time I can't blame you, I can only blame myself, it's that I can't stop you with all my strength now." Maybe you won't hurt me in the future, but if I block you, you won't be able to hurt me. I'm forty years old, and I'm responsible for the decades to come. ”

The voice landed, and the room was silent for a long time.

Yuan Mu lowered his head and pondered, Sheng Fengshi looked at the top of Yuan Mu's hair, slightly distracted, Sheng Fengshi thought: Yuan Mu is right, if she misses this time, there will be no next time, she is the only one in the rest of her years, safe and quiet, nothing bad.

Yuan Mu raised his head: "Teacher Sheng, I'm sorry. ”

These words can be interpreted as Yuan Mu's decision to take a step back and open the sky, but looking at Yuan Mu's expression, it doesn't look like that, Sheng Feng unconsciously sat up straight, and waited seriously for Yuan Mu to continue.

Yuan Mu: "My attitude is too bad, please forgive me." ”

Sheng Fengshi waited another half minute: "And then?" ”

"And then?" Yuan Mu was stunned for a moment and said, "You gave me a clue, I will dig it out." ”

"I didn't convince you."

"Nope."

Sheng Feng Shi was actually not surprised, if Yuan Mu gave up so lightly, it would not be Yuan Mu. "Whatever you want." Whatever she says won't work anyway. As for whether she has any expectations in her heart...... It doesn't matter.

Yuan Mu got what she wanted from this conversation, and the process was a bit tense and intense, just so that her recent backlog of feelings could be vented, and she was immediately physically and mentally comfortable, and she could easily continue to walk on the road close to Sheng Fengshi.

They began a tacit silence again, one working, one reading, not disturbing each other, vaguely comforting each other.

In the afternoon, the second class held a class meeting, Yuan Mu insisted on following, and when Sheng Feng had to agree, the two sat in the first row, looked up at the same angle, and listened carefully. Before Sheng Fengshi went to the podium, Yuan Mu quietly stuffed her with a small note, Sheng Fengshi remained silent, and unfolded the note under the cover of the lectern, and saw that it was written on Yuan Mu's two examples, and couldn't help crying and laughing. She has been working as a student for five years, and she has many years of experience in getting along with students. These two are not used at all. But when she finished speaking, she inadvertently caught a glimpse of Yuan Mu's serious appearance, and her heart fluttered, and she added a sentence briefly.

Sheng Fengshi is too lazy to analyze his behavior, it is nothing more than a soft-hearted heart because he likes it, and it is not new every time. In the face of Yuan Mu's proud expression that he thought he had helped and tried his best to suppress it, but still showed clues, he could turn a blind eye when he was in the limelight, but the thought inevitably came to his heart: In front of her, Yuan Mu looked more and more like a twenty-year-old girl.

When I got home, I completed one step at a time in an orderly manner - like an assembly line, what to do first and then what to do has been reasonably arranged, and I only need to repeat it without moving, with rules and regulations, and no annoyance. When it is prosperous, I run for an hour every day, not for my body weight, but for maintaining my body. Sheng Fengshi has seen others work against time all their lives, and must ask someone to take care of them when they retire in old age, so Sheng Fengshi feels terrible in her later years, if one day she loses the ability to live independently, she would rather end her life.

Blow dry your hair and come out of the bathroom, it's already dark. Standing on the balcony for a while, I felt the humidity of the air, and I thought that it might rain tomorrow and remember to bring an umbrella. The wind rose, closed the doors and windows and returned to the room, leaned on the head of the bed and read a book for a while, and when I felt tired, I turned off the light and lay down to rest.

It was a little cold in the dead of night.