Which one is more lonely, is it living in one's own world and not being loved by anyone, or is it loving someone in one's heart, but never being able to get closer to love?

Watching the courtyard door of Yalanxuan slowly close, the loss in Xia Xue'er's heart invaded one after another. For Su Qi, after the Cold War, resentment, and evasion, what she chose was not to forget but to let go, not to die and not get along but to deal with it indifferently, like a friend.

It's just that Fang just looked at her mother's sincere eyes, those eyes full of expectation and gratification, and her heart tightened suddenly. Su Qi's cold face and those tender black eyes appeared in his mind without warning, and the deepest feelings hidden in his heart suddenly hit the barrier that had been built up with great difficulty, and they were about to come out.

Haven't you already made up your mind to be friends only? Why does my heart still hurt like this? It hurt so much that I couldn't breathe.

Putting aside the green bamboo, walking aimlessly, somehow suddenly remembered Paul's sentence in "The Loneliness of Prime Numbers", and couldn't help laughing, but there was a sense of despair and desolation.

Lonely? Human life is constantly gaining, losing, gaining, losing...... After all, they are alone, what does it matter if they love or not?

The moonlight was bright, so bright, but so cold, spreading down, and every inch of bare earth was covered with a thin veil. On the roof not far away, a tall and tall figure stood on it, with its back to the moonlight, its eyes hidden in the darkness, but still shining.

Sometimes soft, like a pool of spring water, sometimes cold, there is the moonlight this night.

Xia Xue'er suddenly stopped, and the backs of the people on the roof suddenly tensed, but seeing that Xia Xue'er didn't turn around, she just squatted down slowly, and stretched out her hand to caress a delicate peony, and the jade hands were a little white under the moonlight.

Zhao Wanqing compared her with peony, saying that she is not only the beauty of the country, but also the fortitude and arrogance of peony.

Xia Xue'er stepped forward, picked up the arrogant peony with both hands like holding a child's face, and then slowly stood up, just looking at it stupidly, with a smile on her face, but she couldn't help but tremble.

I thought she was a person who loved flowers and cherished flowers, but I saw that her hands suddenly opened, and the flowers that had been held in the palms of her hands fell to the ground as a matter of course, shaking their red and bright petals.

"Gone."

Xia Xue'er looked back at Cuizhu, who deliberately kept a distance from her, and called softly, her tone was calm as usual, but there was no trace of warmth. After saying that, he turned around and walked away, and the brocade shoes buried with gold silk dark patterns mercilessly stepped on the flowers lying on the ground, and the bright red flower juice splashed and dyed the soles red. It seemed to be unintentional, but a cold light flashed in his eyes.

Cuizhu didn't notice this detail of her own young lady's movements, and only mentioned the hexagonal palace lantern and sped up to follow. And the person standing on the roof did take a qiē into his eyes, and the corners of his lips hooked up a cold smile, watching the woman in the garden slowly leave.

Dongmei and Qiu Ju lit lanterns and waited at the gate of the courtyard, and when they saw Xia Xue'er coming back, they hurriedly greeted them.

"Why did you come back at this point? Miss is hungry! ”

"The small kitchen has been hot with dishes, for fear that it will be cold when the young lady comes back, and the slave will pass it on now!"

Xia Xue'er looked at the two eager faces in front of her, and a warm current rushed through her heart, only smiling slightly and not speaking.

As soon as he cleaned his hands and sat down in the house, a maid outside reported that Shen was coming.

"What is she doing at such a late hour?" Dongmei listened to Li'er's report and muttered very unhappily. Miss just came back, and she didn't even have time to drink the hot tea, and this Aunt Shen came to disturb again, it seems that she has to be hungry for a while!

"If you don't come now, you won't have a chance."

After saying that, the corners of his lips raised an arc, took the hot tea offered by Qiu Ju, shook off the tea foam and tasted it. Hmm~ The tea sent by my grandfather's family is much better than the tribute tea in the old lady's room, with fragrant lips and teeth, and the fragrance is overflowing. One represents interests and the other represents family affection, which really cannot be compared.

Li'er waited at the door in an orderly manner, watching Xia Xue'er only drink tea, as if she hadn't heard her own report at all, so she cautiously asked, "Miss, do you still see Aunt Shen?" ”

Xia Xue'er ignored it, and waited until a cup of tea bottomed out, and then said without raising her head: "Pass in." Then he handed the quiet white teacup in his hand to Qiu Ju, "Just do what you have to do." ”

"Yes." Qiu Ju took the cup, turned around and went out.

This Shen family's footsteps are also fast, and not long after Li'er retreated, she appeared in Xia Xue'er's field of vision. It's just that this outfit is exactly the same as when she left the Livable Pavilion, presumably she has been waiting not far from Tingyuxuan, looking forward to Xia Xue'er's return.

Looking at the appearance of the dusty man, the corners of Xia Xue'er's mouth unconsciously hooked up a contemptuous smile, but it soon disappeared completely, and people couldn't help but suspect that they were dazzled.

"Hello Third Miss. Late at night, please don't dislike the concubine. ”

"If you have anything to say, please come into the house and say it." Xia Xue'er sat dignified, with a standard smile on her face, first beckoned Shen into the house, and then ordered: "Dongmei, take a seat." ”

The purpose of Shen's coming, she guessed it somewhat, it was not a difficult thing to do, but it was not so easy to get involved in the mess of the Xia family and figure it out. I had the heart to hang her, so I didn't speak.

After Shen sat down, he didn't know how to speak, and Xia Xue'er only played with the sachet in her hand, as if she didn't save it, neither looked at her nor spoke, she was very embarrassed. At this time, Qiu Ju led a team of maids into the house.

"Miss Three hasn't had dinner yet?"

Xia Xue'er raised her head, pretended to smile helplessly, and replied, "I forgot the time when I was discussing things in the old lady's room just now, and I feel hungry at this time." Do you want to be together? ”

Shen has been waiting under the begonia in Xifu not far from Yuxuan since he left the old lady's courtyard, until he heard Dongmei's voice and knocked on the door, he didn't feel hungry, but when he smelled the fragrance of the food, his stomach screamed angrily. As soon as the polite words came to his mouth, he was embarrassed by the sound of "gurgling" and couldn't speak.

Xia Xue'er only smiled slightly, which just confirmed her previous guess, the Shen family had really been listening to Yuxuan waiting for her, but why didn't she notice it when she came back?

Looking at Shen's particularly embarrassed little face, Qiu Ju of Chao Bucai ordered: "Let the small kitchen add another pair of dishes and chopsticks." ”

"What's so embarrassing about that." Shen swallowed his saliva and said with a smile.

[To be continued]