thirty-nine

"Hey, hey, you wait for me, my sister is carrying this big bag and small bag by herself!"

Yu Yu carried it in her arms, and a few bags plus her own satchel slowed her walking speed.

Qiao Mosheng turned around and stood by the car door, glanced at the familiar bag in Yu Yu's arms who trotted over, and frowned,

"Why did you bring it back again, didn't you let you throw it away?"

As he spoke, he opened the passenger driver's door in his hand for Yu Yu, who couldn't free his hand, and then opened the door of the back seat as well, so that she could put the big bag in it, Yu Yu bent in front of the car door, and stuffed all the big and small bags in his hand into the back seat, and then slapped his hands and pouted:

"What are you throwing, Xue Li's slut has been pestering you for so long, and she doesn't accumulate virtue on her lips, how many blocks have you added to us, this little thing is not enough to dissipate the anger of the big guys, tsk, it's a pity that Tongyu can't stand this......"

In the end, Yu Yu suddenly reacted that his words were a little inappropriate, so he quickly bit his teeth and closed his mouth.

To her surprise, Qiao Mosheng didn't seem to be too depressed because of the mention of Shen Tongyu, but her face was surprisingly calm, or, rather than calm, it was more appropriate to say that it was more relaxed, although there was still not too much expression on that face, but she could see it.

Yu Yu raised his eyebrows and shrunk his neck, and after Qiao Mosheng went around to the driver's seat and sat firmly, he also sat in the co-pilot.

"Shengsheng, why don't I drive?"

Seeing Qiao Mosheng calmly fasten his seat belt and prepare to start, Yu Yu asked tentatively, to be honest, Qiao Mosheng has also been in the hospital for several days, not to mention whether he can keep up with nutrition, just for the sake of her little face, Yu Yu is also very worried about whether she can drive, she doesn't want the two of them to be sent in again within an hour of coming out of the hospital, and this time she will accompany Qiao Mosheng to lie in bed......

Qiao Mosheng didn't look at her, started neatly in gear, and jumped out as soon as he stepped on the accelerator.

"What's the matter, you're still afraid that I'll drag you to die again?"

This is the first time Qiao Mosheng has talked about her suicide head-on in these days, Yu Yu saw that she said easily, bent the corners of her mouth, and the little heart that had been hanging could finally fall to the ground, and she was bold again for a while, her elbows were propped up in front of the car platform, and she smiled and leaned next to Qiao Mosheng's head and asked:

"Hey, I said, Shengsheng, did you see anything when you were lying on the ground? It's just a lot of TV dramas, novels or something, don't they all say that people will see some previous things at the moment when they are on the verge of death, what is that called, yes, the marquee, have you seen it? Or is it the Grim Reaper, black and white, impermanence or something, the kind with a big iron chain, uh-huh? ”

As soon as Yu Yu was curious, he didn't choose what to say, and he chattered endlessly, if it was before, Qiao Mosheng probably would have lowered his face and wanted to kick her ass, and I don't know if he left the hospital, a place where birth, old age, sickness and death, joy and sorrow are combined, which makes people quite different, but now Qiao Mosheng doesn't pursue these words so much, I don't know if he cares, or he can see it,

"Nope."

Just drove to a traffic post, Qiao Mosheng slowly stopped the car before the red light, stretched out his hand to turn on the music in the carriage, and casually answered Yu Yu's questions.

"Huh? How could it not be, is it pure nonsense on TV? Won't it......"

Looking at Yu Yu's undead and disappointed look, Qiao Mosheng laughed, and then said:

"I don't know if there's any nonsense in the TV series, and I don't know if anyone else has seen what you said, anyway, I haven't seen it, but I can tell you a thing or two about the feeling of being near-dead."

"What? What was the feeling before you died, tell my sister! ”

As soon as he heard that there was a play, Yu Yu was still overshadowed there, looking like he was shrugging his tail, and his eyes lit up again at this moment, and he patted the platform in front of the car with one hand and asked,

"Black."

"Huh?"

When a word popped out, no one reacted at all, Yu Yu twisted his eyebrows and looked at her, not understanding the meaning of her "black" word at all,

Without waiting for her to open her mouth again, the red light at the traffic post jumped to a green light, and the car continued to move slowly, accompanied by the music in the car, Qiao Mosheng also opened his mouth again:

"To be honest, if I had calmed down, or given me another chance now, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to cut my wrist, and in the face of death, how many people would not have any fear at all, and if it weren't for the mess that day, which made me breathless, I wouldn't have been able to do it. However, you must know that when a person can step through the shackles that hinder you in his heart, you will find that those obstacles are so fragile and vulnerable, and the usual fears and cowardice have completely disappeared and disappeared, leaving only relaxation and pleasure, to be honest, I don't seem to feel so relaxed for a long time, how to say, it is like removing all the weight on my body in an instant, and my body has become lighter and lighter, and finally it is so light that I can barely feel my own weight, but relatively, I also felt the darkness around me, the kind of darkness that is not like our ordinary night, but the kind of darkness that no light can penetrate at all, boundless, even if you try to reach out and grab something, but in the end, in the palm of your hand, there is only such a mass of invisible black, can you understand the feeling I said? ”

Qiao Mosheng stared at the road in front of him, and his tone was calm, as if telling a story that had nothing to do with him,

Yu Yu was a little stunned when she heard this, she thought that she was asking a light-hearted and funny topic, but she didn't expect Qiao Mosheng to be so serious, seriously talking to herself about how she felt when she committed suicide, to be honest, the two have been fighting together for so long, but they haven't talked like this for a long time, or rather, from the beginning of Yu Yu's acquaintance with her to the present, Qiao Mosheng has been willing to confide his thoughts only a handful of times. Yu Yu regretted a little, she was not ready to be a listener, she didn't know what she should say after Qiao Mosheng finished this paragraph, but she didn't know if she should interrupt her now, after thinking about it again, Yu Yu still chose to shut up and continue to listen to Qiao Mosheng.

In fact, Qiao Mosheng didn't give her a chance to interrupt, because the destination was not clear, and the car was driving almost aimlessly, Qiao Mosheng swallowed his saliva, chuckled and continued to speak:

"How can you understand that feeling, you must not know, just as the living do not know the thoughts of the dead. That darkness... I don't know where it ends, but I know I'll never get out of its shadow, but at the end of the day, I didn't even think about struggling, going with the flow, and all I could feel was peace of mind when it was over...... Do you know, I never felt that closing my eyes turned out to be such a reassuring action, and it was also at the moment when my consciousness dissipated that I realized that some burdens could only be let go of when I died, at that time I thought everything was over, I didn't think of my parents' body, I didn't think of Bai Weijin's entanglement, I didn't think of my friends' concern, and naturally I didn't care about Tongyu, I thought I was finally free, but you dragged me back......"

Speaking of this, Qiao Mosheng's tone had a hint of complaint in it, and his eyes subconsciously glanced at Yu Yu who was supporting his head with his hands,

Yu Yu propped up her head, she had been staring at Qiao Mosheng's face, she didn't expect her to look at herself, the moment her eyes were opposite, she suddenly felt a little embarrassed, how to say it, after listening to Qiao Mosheng's words, she began to wonder if she was right or wrong to save her, since Qiao Mosheng lived so painfully and tired, why did she bother to pull her back to the reality that was like a knife for her......

"But now that I've come back alive, I guess I won't have the courage to die again in a short time, I'm a person who has walked through the ghost gate, at least Tongyu's matter, I'm completely let go, that's all I have to say, if you still don't understand something, it's better to have a chance for you to experience it yourself."

“……”

At the same time that the last sentence came out of Qiao Mosheng's mouth, Yu Yu pulled the corners of his mouth, knowing that Fang Cai's own worries and worries might as well be fed to the dog......

"Stop going around in circles, go to Wanji Township! My sister hasn't eaten anything good for a few days, and in order to make up for the meat I have dropped with you these days, I have to treat you to this meal! ”

“…… Didn't you say you would invite me to dinner before you left the hospital? ”

Qiao Mosheng's eyes paid attention to the road conditions, and he turned on the steering wheel to change the driving route at the right time.

"When did I say it," Yu Yu's arrogant strength came up, and few people could compare with it, "Even if I said it, it's okay if I change my mind now?" You just say if you don't want to invite it! ”

Soft can't come hard, Yu Yu tilted his legs this time, hugged his arms and leaned over to the back of the seat, with a posture that I am the queen and you will die if you don't listen to me,

Qiao Mosheng caught a glimpse of her virtue, and was so amused that he laughed out loud.

"What are you laughing at, does my sister allow you to laugh!"

Yu Yu was annoyed and angry, if she hadn't remembered her little life, she would have gone up to grab the steering wheel and tear up Qiao Mosheng.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's rare that I'm in a good mood when I am discharged from the hospital, you have a lot of Yuyu, don't be like me, let's go to Wanji Township, and invite you to eat to make amends for you."

In the window position of the Wanji Township Hall, Yu Yu glanced at the delicate dishes on the table with satisfaction, completely ignoring Qiao Mosheng, who was complaining about the bitterness on the other side, and put his chopsticks on the table, and opened his stomach to eat.

However, Qiao Mosheng also pretended to be a painful thief on the surface, she knew very well in her heart that the expenses of her hospitalization these days were all paid by Yu Yu silently, she had no medical insurance, and the current hospital slaughtered people like slaughtering pigs, and she didn't leave any oil and water for you, even if she was hospitalized again after surgery, the mess of nutrition injections and recovery pills was added together, even if the number was not large, it was definitely not much.

"Yuyu, how much did it cost me to be hospitalized?"

Qiao Mosheng pinched his chopsticks and pulled the dishes on his plate that were stacked by Yu Yu for a while, and pretended to ask casually,

"Huh? Why? ”

Yu Yu spit out the bones in his mouth and asked vaguely,

"Don't do anything, go back and give me a card number, and I'll call you the money."

"Smack"!

Qiao Mosheng was startled by the sound of Yu Yu putting down his chopsticks, and when he raised his eyes, he saw Yu Yu staring at him with a straight face, and his mouth was still stained with the sauce that had just been stained.

"Why ......?"

Seeing Yu Yu's strict face, Qiao Mosheng's momentum weakened suddenly,

Yu Yu stared at her for a long time, and after a while, he lowered his eyes, reached out and pulled the tissue on the side to wipe the corners of his mouth, and finally leaned back on the chair.

"Qiao Mosheng, I said that you are boring like this, we have known each other for so many years, you should know what kind of person I am, you want to pay back the money, it's not impossible, so let's change the way, you also know that my work has been delayed for a few days, and then because of work problems, I want to retreat at home, I don't plan to go out of the house, you take care of my life these days when I am rushing to work, of course, the food expenses are also handed over to you, you also know the state of my work, life or something is a complete mess, So I think this repayment method is quite cost-effective for me, what do you think? ”

As soon as she encountered serious things, Yu Yu seemed relatively strong, Qiao Mosheng didn't know her character, and she also knew that it was useless for her to say more, and after taking a deep breath, she had to reluctantly agree, and secretly thought about returning her favor in other places in the future.

Yu Yu saw her nodding, and her face was no longer so tense, or how to say that a woman turned her face faster than a book, and after a second, the expressions of the two completely changed 180 degrees, Qiao Mosheng's face was gloomy, listening to the name that she didn't want to think about the last time she was talking about it from Yu Yu's mouth-Tang Wei......