If you are too obsessed, you will not be able to tell whether you are paranoid or unwilling to ask for it for a long time. 『』『Words*Love*First*Hair【Big|Book|Bag|Small|Say|Net dashubao】

I don't know if I'm the former or the latter, but the reason doesn't matter to me, because I still can't let go, I can't let go of her, or if it's a vague shadow in my mind.

I was thirty-seven years old and unmarried.

She and I haven't seen each other in years. I only know that after the catastrophe that happened in the Valley of Troubled Flowers, she took Qinghuan back to the North Punishment, and later heard that she cremated her body with her own hands, and then put those ashes in a jade gourd and carried them closely. Over the years, she has been traveling abroad, taking a handful of ashes from her apprentice with her, and making her home all over the world. I've always wanted to see her, but I never know exactly where she is, and there's a lot going on in the valley.

Last year, I happened to get a genuine handiwork from her, and I heard from the person who sent the word that Nan Yang owed him a favor, and he begged Nan Yang to write a letter with him, and Nan Yang wrote this casually. Later, after several twists and turns, I tried my best, and finally it came to my hands.

On the beautifully framed scroll, a thin layer of rice paper was carefully pasted, on which only a simple sentence was written:

I have also drifted for a long time, and in the past ten years, I have been deeply gracious, and I have been a mentor and friend in life and death.

The date of the check-off was only a year ago.

I thought that I might never meet her again in my life, but to my surprise, a few days ago Nameless brought me a letter from a strange carrier pigeon outside the valley. I opened the letter, and there were only a few words on the white paper:

On the seventh day of the fifth month, Yishan gathered.

At the end is her name, the handwriting is upright and beautiful, but it does not lose a sense of strength and purity. I took the text message and sat in front of my desk in a daze for a long time, not knowing what was going on in my mind for a while. She has been ...... all these years Are you doing well?

I smiled self-deprecatingly, folded the letterhead, and tucked it back into the envelope. Whether she is doing well or not has nothing to do with me, she will not tell me her sadness, nor will she reveal her loneliness to me. In this long enough story, I was just a passer-by throughout, both for her and for myself.

She was destined to have only one person in her life.

On the third day of the fifth month, I put aside all my affairs and took only the nameless to Yishan. Yishan is not very far from the Valley of Ranhua, but it is a day's journey, and I arrived there in the afternoon of the fourth day of junior high school.

The thought of seeing someone I hadn't seen for many years made me a little nervous, and I often had trouble fidgeting. Nameless saw that I was always walking around the inn, and I even secretly hid my mouth and let out a mechanical laugh. I glared at him, and he honestly changed back to his face. Such a mecha man is going to live well, but he can still do it.

I waited in the inn for three days, and during these three days I didn't know what to do, and most of the time I sat on the steps of the door, holding the white jade mask in my hand. The delicate auspicious cloud carvings on the white jade mask were blurred by the palm of my hand, and it took me some time to repair it when I turned around, and I don't know if it was the same as the one I bought from the small vendor back then.

I didn't really want to rest in the middle of the night, I just sat on the threshold and was distracted.

A coat suddenly fell from my shoulder, and I subconsciously grabbed the collar of the coat and looked back. Nameless bent down and said respectfully: "Valley Master, go and rest." ”

"I don't want to sleep yet, you go sleep."

The nameless machine replied: "Valley Master, you don't have the function of creating a zào for me to rest. ”

"My craftsmanship is still a little worse than my father's."

"Valley Master?"

"Nameless," I smiled, "did you know that a long time ago there was a person with this name, a mecha man that my father made to protect me. But he was dead, his bones scattered, and his bones were gone. And the few faithful squires left, selfless and useless, all of whom died to protect me. My father is dead, they are dead, who else can I trust in this world? ”

Nameless didn't answer me, just tilted his head in confusion.

"I'm trying to make you exactly the same as Nameless, but it won't always be the same." I didn't know what I was talking about, so I shook my head helplessly, "Alas, I can only talk to an emotionless mecha, am I too much of a failure?" ”

"The lord of the valley is the lord of a valley in the Central Plains Chaotic Flower Valley, and he is the envy of all people, so why talk about failure?"

"Speaking of which, I don't know what those people envy me," I smiled self-deprecatingly, stroking the white jade mask in my hand, "as if I had everything, but nothing." Now all I can really hold in my hand is this mask. ”

"......" looked at me unexpectedly, and with his simple brain, I was afraid that I had been messed up.

"As the saying goes, heroes are sad about beauties, and the ancients don't deceive me." I laughed a few times, but no one answered me, so I could only focus on the bleak and boundless night.

Three days later, I headed to the top of Mt. I. early. At this time, it is the good weather at the beginning of May, April will pass, and the ancient saying is called "Huaixu", which is a good time for the peach blossoms to bloom. The peach blossoms on Yishan Mountain are blooming very vigorously, spreading all over the mountains, as if they are rolling up a pink and white wave. When I got to the top of the mountain, I saw a small pavilion built in the peach forest at the top of the mountain. There was a vague person sitting in the pavilion, with his back to me, quietly drinking tea facing the distant mountains. Looking at her through layers of peach blossom forests, I just felt that I couldn't grasp it, and I couldn't hold it.

She came so early.

I didn't waste time, stepped up my pace, and soon arrived at the pavilion. She heard the footsteps and turned her head slightly to look at me, with a faint smile on her face that had never been eroded by the years: "Junqiao, you are here." ”

She is still the same as I remember, both when I was a child and when I was in my twenties. I'm old, and she's still so young and good-looking. She was still dressed in a plain white robe, her long black hair was scattered behind her back, and a few strands of green silk fluttered gently with the breeze blowing. She still has the jade gourd from a few years ago hanging around her waist, and the gourd seems to have been carefully tucked away by her side, and the surface of the jade is not damaged at all.

"You're here so early. When did it come? Last night? I sat down across from her, picked up the kettle in front of her, and poured a cup of tea into my cup. After taking a sip, I suddenly realized that it was not tea in the pot, but wine.

Nan Yang kept holding the wine glass in his hand, his eyes swept around the wine noodles and my face twice, and replied softly: "There is nothing to do, I went up the mountain three days ago." You came early, when did you arrive? ”

I looked into her face and chuckled, "Just arrived." ”

“…… Over the years, is it good to have a qiē in the valley of flowers? ”

"All good. What about you? ”

She was silent, rubbing the wine glass with both hands, sending a little wine to her mouth, and then looked at the distant mountains outside the pavilion: "Just get by." ”

I didn't know what to say, so I picked up the wine in front of me and took a big sip of it myself.

"You are also the head of the Northern Punishment now, so you handed over the affairs of the door to those young lords, but you let go, didn't you think it was very inappropriate?"

She muttered: "I never wanted to be the head of the house, this title is just a stumbling name for me, the two people who want to be the head of the house the most are dead, everyone can't ask for it, isn't it ironic." ”

I lowered my head, and after a while, I said, "She just wrote a sentence about the cycle of death and life, and you really believe it?" You should know that there is no reincarnation in this world, ghosts and gods, but it is just a lie to others and oneself. ”

"I didn't believe it before," her eyes narrowed slightly, "but for such a long time, what else can I do but search thousands of miles of mountains and rivers?" …… I didn't believe it before, but for her sake, I'm willing to believe it. ”

"Why did you suddenly think of me?" I asked again.

"I found this when I went back to the north a few days ago and sorted out my things." She turned her head again, found a small object and put it on the table, and slowly pushed it to me with her index finger, "I don't know what to do." I think it's better to give it back to you. ”

I stared at the things on the table in a daze. It was a well-made mecha bird, but it had clearly been abandoned for many years, the wood grain carved by the knife was filled with dust, and the joints were badly eroded. I reached out and carefully took it, gently rubbing its surface with my fingertips.

"Junqiao, thank you very much for taking care of me before. Thank you very much, for being here today. Nan Yang's voice was very soft, her tone was shallow and light, and she didn't focus too much on me, but turned her head to look outside the pavilion again. Her casually placed her hand on the jade gourd on her waist, and her movements were very gentle and caressing.

An impulse surged through my mind, and I barely thought about whether it was appropriate or not, so I blurted out, "It's been so many years, can't you really forget her?" ”

She looked at me, there was no emotion in her eyes, but quietly, there was a touch of indescribable affection. She suddenly hooked the corners of her lower lip, as if chuckling, but she quickly regained her peace, but her tone was much thicker:

"She stays in my heart, year after year, day and night, reminding me all the time what is flesh and blood, and what is worthy of this life."

I bit my lower lip and stopped talking, feeling like I was suffocating.

"Every qiē is the mandate of heaven, and I can't disobey it. The only thing I want to disobey is time, and I don't want time to take her. At least, she can't be taken from my memory. ”

“……”

"Junqiao, you should have your own life. At such an age, the time of youth and ignorance should have disappeared with time. She said it very vaguely. After saying this, she stopped speaking, but drank the wine one by one.

Her drinking volume has become so good.

Neither of us spoke, just sat opposite each other, silently looking at the scenery outside the pavilion.

Time passed slowly, and I watched the daylight go from thin to brilliant to thin. Nan Yang just looked at the green mountains in the distance at sunset, and suddenly opened his mouth and muttered softly:

"The sky is long, and what is it?"

After saying this, she seemed to bow her head and shake her head with a smile, and then picked up her wine glass again.

For the first time, I felt so clearly that she was so lonely. Maybe she's more lonely than me, I don't have anything around me, and I don't miss her once in a while when I'm busy. But her waist was a gourd containing the ashes of her apprentice, and she would spend a lot of time thinking about her all day long, and the more she thought about it, the more lonely she became.

My heart was heavy, and I suddenly felt very sorry for her. In fact, she has always been the most distressing one.

In the past, when the tribulation came, there was still that person to help her resist and face it with her. But now, the man's departure has become her greatest suffering. The immortality that the world longs for, but for her is a shackle that she can never get rid of, firmly handcuffing her, shackling her in boundless darkness every day and night, and eroding her last hope little by little.

"Junqiao, I'm leaving."

She said to me as the sun was about to disappear behind the mountains. Expectedly, her gaze did not linger on me for long, nor did she stop for long. Also, everything she cherishes is already by her side, so naturally she doesn't need to look at me more.

I sat still, not saying goodbye to her, even though I knew it might be the last time we would see each other. She didn't take anything, but left me the mecha bird, and slowly descended the mountain alone. I watched her back disappear little by little into the winding path between the mountains, and there was no trace in the peach blossom forest.

It's getting dark. I don't want to leave yet, and I've always had that mecha bird in my hand. My fingers stroked back and forth on the bird, and I inadvertently gently touched a small mechanism protruding from the mecha bird's belly, and subconsciously pressed it.

A somewhat unfamiliar voice sounded-

"Lord Nanyang, it's time for dinner."

More than ten years ago, at a bustling and noisy lantern festival, I gave her this mecha bird, and the bird rested nimbly on her shoulder; There was also a place called Yushuiguan, where the young mecha bird was holding the mecha bird and showed her the sound storage stone in the bird's belly.

At that time, it was still early, and it was still very early.

I couldn't help laughing, but the tears suddenly flowed down my face, and I laughed so hard that I couldn't hear it. Holding the mecha bird tightly with one hand, it hurt so tightly that the palm of his hand was painful, and covering his mouth with the other, trying to keep his voice down and cry bitterly.

If I had a choice, I wish I had never fallen in love with her.

But I didn't have a choice. Fate will not give me a choice, even if I do it a thousand times again, I will still meet her and give her all my time without any choice.

……

……

……

A hundred years later, the world has changed, the sects have risen and fallen, and the overlords have changed. All the influential characters in the rivers and lakes have sunk in the ruthless torrent of time.

For Junqiao, only the genealogy of the Jun family that records the life of the valley lord in the past dynasties has been contained:

Junqiao, the eighth valley lord of Ranhua, was born at the age of 58, and his life was troubled, he lost his mother when he was young, and he lost his father when he was young. After the change of the position of the valley master, he made a comeback, sat firmly in the head of the chaotic flower, never married, and was a distant relative outside the clan before his death.

After the death of Junqiao, he was buried in the ancestral tomb of the Jun family, the Jun family was heavy on feng shui, and the compass gossip measured that the tomb of Junqiao should sit in the north and face south. Junqiao's last words insisted on violating the rules of feng shui, facing the tomb door to the north, and the burial object was only an ordinary wooden mecha bird; According to later generations, when his body was put into the coffin, his hands were placed on his chest and a white jade mask was held, and his face was serene, which can be said to be the end of his life.