"I understand!" Fang Xiaoyu's face was a little pale, and a face that was once extremely familiar appeared in his mind.

She had spent an entire life resenting them, and those faces lingered in her mind every day and night. Since then, she has become more apathetic, and has no contact with anyone too much, so that she will not be so heartbroken when she loses again.

She thought she had forgotten the pain and unwillingness, but she didn't. Those pasts are just hidden in the deepest part of her heart, no longer lightly revealed, but they have not disappeared. And now, hundreds of years later, in this life, her father has tasted almost the same pain as her.

Fang Jianzhang didn't know that Fang Xiaoyu had experienced such an unbelievable thing, he only thought that Fang Xiaoyu was comforting him, so he shook his head, unable to listen to these comforting words into his heart at all.

"You don't understand. One by one, they died in front of me, but as a general, I could do nothing. Fang Jianzhang clenched his fists with tears in his eyes, hammered the hard ground fiercely, and did not stop rubbing the wounds on his hands, but cried almost like madness: "I can't save their lives, I don't even know their names, but they are soldiers I led, but they were finally buried under my stupidity!" It's me who is sorry for them! ”

Fang Xiaoyu didn't stop Fang Jianzhang's almost self-harming behavior because she knew that stopping it was useless. He was just venting his anger, he couldn't find enemies, he couldn't avenge those people, so he hurt himself, trying to make the guilt in his heart less.

She understands. She really understands everything. That kind of powerlessness, that kind of heartache, that kind of anger of being betrayed by her own people, she has experienced it, so she really understands it.

But I can't say it. Because she couldn't describe the tragedy of that time again, as long as she touched that fragment, her heart would seem to be cut open alive, and blood would flow.

"General, to tell you the truth, when you first came to the barracks. I, Huo Laosan, look down on you! A girl, who doesn't embroider at home and raise children, what kind of general does she go to this bitter cold place? The body is so thin that it disappears as soon as the wind blows. None of the brothers in our battalion are obedient to you. But General, you're this! I didn't expect the body board to look thin, it's really a lifeless master to kill the enemy on the battlefield, brother, I'm serving you, you are our general! Who dares to look down on the general again, I, Huo Laosan, will be the first to rush up and slap him in the big mouth! ”

Fang Xiaoyu clenched his fists. The pain in her palms barely kept her awake.

Don't remember! Don't think again! Those things of the past, those things that have passed, don't think about them again!

Fang Jianzhang didn't know that his words and his demeanor would remind Fang Xiaoyu of the past, and he hurriedly grabbed a pile of paper next to him, with many names written crookedly on it. Some of the names are marked with some notes under them, and there are where they live and who else they are. And some just have a name, and even some names are just nicknames, without any annotations below.

"I want to write down their names, at least to give them peace of mind. The soul can have something to rely on. But I racked my brains to think about it, but I could only remember this! That's all! Fifty thousand people died because of me, but I only remember these few hundred names, and I don't even know where their homes are. Who else is in the family? Where should the money go? I don't know how to erect a monument for them, and I can't find their bones, so what's the use of me as a general! ”

Fang Jianzhang hugged these papers full of names in his arms, as if these papers contained the souls of these soldiers that he cherished, and he couldn't bear to let go.

"General, this is the money I have saved over the years, and I originally intended to keep it for my son's schooling. But the family was plagued. I heard from a businessman in my hometown that my wife and children had gone to another village to seek refuge with relatives. Now it looks like I can't go back. If the general can return to Beijing alive, he will send this silver to my wife and children, I am a rough man, and I will die without regrets. But at least I have to let my son afford to go to school, and in the future, he won't have to be like my useless father, who can only be a small soldier to fight to death, and he hasn't been promoted to an official and a ...... all these years."

Fang Xiaoyu's fingers were clenched. The more she didn't want to think about it, the more those past seemed like a virus, ravaging all her memories.

"How do I explain this to their families? How can we atone for this sin? If you can't get justice for them. How can they be blind under the nine springs? Fang Jianzhang cried so unbridled for the first time in his life. He endured it too long.

Ever since escaping from that battlefield, he's been so silent along the way. He kept all his pain in his heart and never said it.

Along the way, hundreds of dead and wounded escaped, and then only about two dozen people remained.

He listened to everyone's complaints, he felt everyone's anger, and everyone's resentment made his heart even heavier. They have become like this, but none of them have ever complained about him, a useless general, but comforted him one by one, scolding the shamelessness of the group of people who did not open the city gates, and the despicability of the soldiers of the quicksand country. But only, only he was extremely tolerant of him, and there was never a word of complaint.

But he couldn't get past himself.

The city over there should have been all his soldiers! They are all brothers and sisters! The friendship of killing the enemy together on the battlefield! But because of him! Because he mistakenly believed Mei Cangyun's old fox! Let him put his hand into Zhenyuan, and the army into Beiyan! The 50,000 soldiers who were killed lost their lives and souls were lost! He's the culprit!

But why didn't everyone blame him!

"General, you have to live. Return to the capital alive, and live to see the faces of those people after their conspiracy succeeded! Our 300,000 army was wiped out, and the fault was not the general, in that Huai King lost his conscience, greedy for military resources, and replaced all the armor and blades on our bodies with such inferior scrap products that could be cut off! Blame the king of Huai for refusing to send the grain and grass for a long time! He wants to bury my 300,000 army for nothing, and he wants to force the general's family to eradicate dissidents! So general, go back alive, don't let the king of Huai see the general's jokes. If the general must die, then he should not die here! If the general feels sorry for the 300,000 troops, he will go back alive to avenge his brothers! General, my dead brothers of the third generation of Huo Lao, please go back alive! One day, he slashed King Huai with his own hands! Our 300,000 brothers will not be reincarnated, just wait for the general on the Huangquan Road, wait for the general to slaughter the bastard of King Huai, and let's cross the Nai He Bridge together. In the next life, I, Huo Laosan, will still be a general's soldier! The 300,000 dead brothers also served as the general's pawns, galloping with the general on the battlefield. Kill the fucking enemy! Fuck off your head! ”

Fang Xiaoyu seemed to see her own shadow in Fang Jianzhang's madness.

Once upon a time, she was the daughter of a family of generals. In that dynasty, women were allowed to serve as soldiers, so she naturally inherited the position of general after her father's death. He personally put on his military uniform, polished his silver gun, and went to the battlefield alone.

In the beginning, all the soldiers refused to obey her because she was a woman. Even in an era when women were allowed to be officials and generals. But there are very few women who really pick up a silver gun and go to the battlefield.

If it weren't for the fact that they didn't have a son, maybe she wouldn't have come. Wouldn't it be more enjoyable to recite poems and paint at home and marry a talented man than to fight and die on the battlefield, covered in blood?

But here she is. Because if no one was willing to come, the title that her father had earned all his life would be withdrawn, so she had no choice but to come.

She is not a very talkative person, not to mention reincarnation for dozens of lifetimes, she has long become insensitive, and she is not interested in anyone. So in the beginning. She's just a mechanical battle, a mechanical killer. Because of her strong martial arts skills and countless enemies, the big men who looked down on her all began to listen to her command.

No matter what era people are, even if they worship heroes.

Although she seems to be weak and delicate, even though she is a woman, if she shows the ability to be not inferior to men, they will not admit the death of a small belly, on the contrary, they will respect you more because you are a woman.

She spent four years on the battlefield. He has 300,000 soldiers and horses in his hands. During this period, she killed countless enemies, made many military achievements, and was rewarded by the emperor, and her family was also the emperor's favorite in Beijing.

But also because of the woods in the forest. The people in the family offended King Huai, the emperor's own son, an undignified, despicable and shameless son.

He fell in love with her sister, and wanted her body but threatened to never give her a name, saying that her family was not worthy of him, even if he gave them a room.

This King Huai is a lustful and shameless person. When she was still in Beijing, she was fighting her idea, but at that time her father was still alive, and he was a general with heavy troops, so he didn't dare to act rashly. But when her father died on the battlefield, she began to force her step by step, wanting to take her as a concubine.

She was unwilling, so she repeatedly shirked, and the reason why she got up alone to kill the enemy on the battlefield also had the meaning of avoiding the harassment of King Huai.

Unexpectedly, this Huai Wang's small-bellied chicken intestines were still worried that she had never given him face, so he took her family to open the knife.

However, she also made repeated military exploits on the battlefield, which made King Huai dare not do it too obviously.

But this is undoubtedly slapping King Huai's face again, so he had a plan, relying on the emperor's love, and crying and shouting that he wanted the prodigal son to turn back and do something practical, so he asked for the post of the supervisor of the armor, and quietly bought everyone, greedy for the silver taels allocated by the imperial court, and replaced the original tough armor with a defective product that was broken when it was chopped.

Wearing such scrap to the battlefield, the situation can be imagined. The 300,000-strong army, in the face of the enemy's 120,000-strong army, was completely annihilated, and the defeat was unbearable.

The Son of Heaven was furious and hurriedly issued seven holy decrees to summon him to return to the palace to confess his sins. And his soldiers, who did not die at the hands of the enemy, but died in the calculations of their own men, except for less than 40,000 men, dressed in armor that had been cut into tatters, without even a decent weapon in their hands, besieged in a small city, without water or food. And she sent an expedited express back to Beijing, asking the emperor to transfer grain reinforcements, but the emperor handed over this task to King Huai.

King Huai pretended to transport it, but in fact he just transported some stones for show. Grain and grass have been delayed, and hundreds of the more than 20,000 soldiers who have been born have starved to death. The rest were all killed by the enemy. They rushed out with the intention that instead of starving to death, they would fight with each other to kill one more by one, but they all died under the enemy's blades.

And Huo Laosan blocked countless swords for her, told him that he must live, and then avenge them! They tried their best to send her out, and she was the only one left in the 300,000 army! Just one person!

At that time, she was at a loss, just like Fang Jianzhang now. Blame yourself, don't dare, hate, kill intent, and then your heart is like ashes.

She was on the battlefield for four years and mingled with these soldiers. The originally numb heart was gradually occupied by hot blood, and she felt as if she had found the self she had worked so hard to live for.

But in just four years, a qiē is like a mirror, coming quickly and dissipating faster. The door of 300,000 people's hearts opened for her was closed because of King Huai alone, with the blood and tears of these 300,000 people.

She hated herself, if she hadn't provoked King Huai, why would these 300,000 troops be so retaliated against? Just because she was their general, they died on this battlefield for her, the general.

Not at the hands of the enemy, but betrayed by his own people, by the country he guarded.

But these soldiers, they knew that the cause of this was their own, but none of them blamed him. They used their bodies to block the sword for her, fearing that she would not want to go with them, so they provoked themselves to wait until they killed King Huai before dying. They understood that King Huai was the son of the emperor, how could he be so easy to kill. Even if she is poor, she may not be able to kill King Huai with her own hands in her life.

They just want her to live, to live. It's like proof that this 300,000-strong army has survived for them.

But she is a heartless child, so there is no way to lick her face and live in the world. But he promised Huo Laosan that he would go to Huangquan Road to meet them after slaughtering the bastard of King Huai.

Therefore, she returned to Beijing alone, and when she saw the emperor confess her guilt, she confessed the sin of the annihilation of the 300,000 army, and when everyone relaxed their vigilance, she instantly shot and directly crushed King Huai's throat.

She still remembered King Huai's frightened expression when he was dying, and those wide eyes looked at her without resentment, only fear. By the time he realized he was going to die, he was already dead.

If you kill the emperor's son, you will never be able to live. She returned to Beijing with such an awareness.

She knew what it meant, and even her family was going to suffer. But she couldn't care about that much.

It was the only impulse she had in the time she had been numb, and the only time she never regretted her impulse.

[The number of words is enough, but there are still a hundred words left.] Let's refresh it after reading it~] (To be continued.) )xh:.74.240.212