But always living in such a panic, how long can this stormy relationship go?

He followed Lei Jean for two years, during which Lei Jean has always been like a high monarch, and he is more often like a male pet, although the word is difficult to hear, but it is very similar to his life state. Lei gave him money and status, gave him the one he dreamed of, but he didn't give him the love he needed most. He knew that Lei Jean didn't love him, and he also knew that Lei Jean had always had a person in his heart, but that person had never appeared by his side, and he deceived himself into thinking that Lei Rang would one day forget that person and would really fall in love with him, but how ridiculous life was, his expectations were disappointed, and that person came back. From the moment he saw that man, he knew that he was finished, that sooner or later he would return to that man, sooner or later he would abandon him, and he would eventually be alone.

It's not that he doesn't have parents, it's not that he doesn't have friends, but those people look at him with a monster look after knowing that he likes men, he never feels that he is wrong, why can't he fall in love with men? Why can't he fall in love with a man who is the same as himself? Who says that a man must love a woman? But the world is like this, since ancient times, the pattern of inheritance is there, everyone takes it for granted that men should love women and should be with women, even his closest brother is because he is gay and he says "disgusting" two words, such words come out of his own brother's mouth He really can't imagine, even his closest family can't understand himself, who else in this world can understand himself? So he chose to commit suicide. Negative, right? But there is no way, no one wants to die alone, but if there is only endless pain to live, then why live?

He chose to jump the Huangpu River, the water was very cold, as piercing as ice, but it was the heart that was colder than ice. When he went, he didn't think he would regret it, and he was determined to die, but he was rescued. That man was Rejan.

He never knew why Lei Rang, such a calling international president, would jump into the water to save himself, but he did it, he rescued himself, scolded himself with a face, and when he heard that he was gay, not only did he not dislike himself, but he also told himself that even if he was gay, he deserved love, because love knows no gender. The first time someone rightly told him that love knows no gender, and the first time someone told him that he could love anyone and be loved. After trying the bone-chilling cold, there was a searing warmth, so he fell in love with Rejan. Fell in love with this man who protected him and gave him the courage to live. Even if Lei Rang doesn't love him, even if he can't get the love he wants, as long as he can be by Lei Rang's side, he is already satisfied. He has told himself many times not to force what he can't get, not to force a person's love, but things are always not as good as they should be. The more he told himself that he shouldn't force it, the more he wanted to force it.

The more you get, the more you can't be satisfied, the more you want, and people's hearts are always greedy.

Cold tears slipped down between his fingers, and Zhuang Shaojun covered his cheeks and wept muffled.

"You've been drinking?"

A voice of extreme indifference suddenly sounded behind him.

Zhuang Shaojun was stunned for a moment, raised his head and looked back at him in a daze, only to see Lei Rang walking towards him indifferently in a straight suit, his coat was thrown on the sofa casually, and his eyebrows were slightly wrinkled when he saw the wine bottles scattered on the balcony.

"Rejan?" Zhuang Shaojun still had tears on his face, but there was a shining light in his eyes, he hurriedly ran down from the recliner and didn't care about putting on his shoes, so he hurriedly threw himself into Lei Rang's arms, "I miss you so much." ”

The strong smell of wine on his body rushed to his face, and the disgust in Lei Rang's eyes suddenly welled up, but his hands were firmly wrapped around his waist, and he wanted to push him away several times, thinking that the tears on his face finally stopped.

"Why do you drink?" Rejean patted him on the back soothingly.

"I ......" Hearing Lei Rang's question, Zhuang Shaojun immediately became nervous, and most of his drunkenness woke up, he raised his eyes to look at Lei Rang, with an innocent and timid face.

Lei Rang saw that his trembling eyes were a little unbearable, "Forget it." ”

"Don't drink so much alcohol in the future, it's not good for your health."

"Well, I won't drink it anymore." Zhuang Shaojun quickly wiped the tears on his face, and turned around to clean up the empty wine bottles scattered all over the place.

Lei Rang ripped off his tie and threw it aside, Zhuang Shaojun cleaned up the wine bottle and walked up to Lei Rang and asked, "Do you want to take a bath?" I'm going to put water ......."

"Hey......" Lei Jean took his hand, "sit down." ”

Zhuang Shaojun sat beside him honestly, and Lei Rang looked at him with lowered eyes: "What have you done today?" ”

"Final exams are coming soon, there are no classes today, and I'm reviewing my homework in the library." Zhuang Shaojun replied.

"When is the holiday?" Lei Jean asked again.

"Eleven."

"Is there a place you'd like to go?" "Have all this year's wishes come true?" ”

Zhuang Shaojun looked at Lei Rang's brown eyes and was speechless for a long time, Lei Rang's eyes flashed a trace of confusion, and he snorted in a nasal voice: "Huh? ”

"This year's wish did not come true." Zhuang Shaojun lowered his eyes.

"What wish?" Lei Rang curled his lips slightly, "Listen to me." ”

"Last year's wish didn't come true either." Zhuang Shaojun said again.

The smile in Lei Rang's eyes froze, and Zhuang Shaojun looked into his eyes and asked, "Do you still want to ask?" Want to know? ”

Lei Rang pursed his lips and looked at him with gloomy eyes: "Shaojun......"

"Why didn't you ask?" Zhuang Shaojun looked into his eyes and said word by word, "Why didn't Lei Rang continue to ask?" ”

"Do you already know?"

"Is it because you already know my wishes, so you don't want to care anymore?"

"Shaojun......" Lei Rang held his hand.

Zhuang Shaojun shook off his hand suddenly, sat up straight, put his hands on his chest, approached him in front of him, and looked directly into his eyes: "How are you doing today?" ”

The smell of alcohol on his body almost haunted Lei Rang's whole person, Lei Rang had never seen such a Zhuang Shaojun, Zhuang Shaojun had always been docile like a sheep in front of him, and never dared to stare at his eyes like this, let alone make such a bold request, Lei Rang only thought he was drunk, avoiding his gaze and said lightly: "You are drunk." ”

"Lei Jean!" Zhuang Shaojun grabbed him by the collar and looked at him, "I'm not drunk, I'm sober." ”

"I know what I'm doing, and I know what I want......"

Zhuang Shaojun threw Lei Rang down on the sofa, pressed his body with his hands and feet to pull the shirt on his body, because he just came back from the meeting, so he only wore a shirt in the suit, Zhuang Shaojun pulled hard and heard the sound of the button collapsing, Lei Rang grabbed Zhuang Shaojun's hand, and looked at him gloomily: "Shaojun, stop......"

"Lei Rang, I love you, I really, really love you......" Zhuang Shaojun looked at him with tears in his eyes.

Lei Rang looked at his tearful gaze and softened for a while, and said in a low voice: "You ......"

Zhuang Shaojun instantly sealed his lips, Lei Rang's eyes widened in surprise, Zhuang Shaojun's tears slipped down his face and fell to his lips, the salty and wet taste spread on his lips, Lei Rang sighed helplessly, his refusal made Zhuang Shaojun's heart happy, he straightened up and looked at Lei Rang's beautiful face in surprise, and murmured: "Lei Rang, I love you......"

After finishing speaking, he leaned over and landed a hot kiss on Lei Jean's chest, he took off his clothes while eagerly wanting to show himself, until his hands peeled off Lei Jean's shirt to touch his skin, Lei Rang suddenly opened his eyes, his brown eyes were full of gloom and gloom, he spoke: "Enough......"

Zhuang Shaojun didn't hear his voice, he wanted to show his love for him, and he wanted to trap him with enthusiasm, his wrist suddenly cooled, Zhuang Shaojun raised his head in shock, and Lei Rang's cold gaze fell on his face like frost: "I'm enough......"

Lei Rang's voice was very soft, but Zhuang Shaojun's face was bloodless in an instant, his eyelashes trembled slightly, his lips were a little pink because of the hot kiss, he opened his mouth softly, and his voice seemed to be as empty as coming from the sky: "Lei Rang ......"

"Shaojun, let's stop here." Lei Rang spoke slowly.

"What are you?" Zhuang Shaojun looked at him in disbelief.

"Let's ......," Lei Jean sighed silently, "let's stop here." ”

"No!" Zhuang Shaojun grabbed Lei Rang's sleeve and eagerly: "Lei Rang, what are you?" You don't like me touching you, do you? That's good, I won't touch you, I won't touch you......" Zhuang Shaojun retreated from Lei Rang's body, he hung his head but a tear fell on the skin on Lei Rang's abdomen, cold and cold with a soaking chill, Zhuang Shaojun staggered back in a panic, and an unstable body slammed into the coffee table, and immediately fell to the ground. He stumbled up from the ground wiping his tears indiscriminately, and forced his bitterness: "I'm fine, it's okay......"

Lei rang's half-stretched hand was retracted, his eyes darkened and he didn't speak.

"I'll put you in the bathwater, you must be tired, you must be very tired......" Zhuang Shaojun kept repeating this sentence.

"Shaojun!" Lei Rang stopped him, Zhuang Shaojun trembled slightly, his arms kept contracting, Lei Rang knew that he was wiping his tears, looking at his lonely and sad back, he was also a little distressed, "I ......"

"Don't!" Zhuang Shaojun suddenly yelled, covered his ears and squatted down, he shouted loudly, "Don't! I beg you, don't! Don't ......"

"Woooooooooo......oo Rejan, don't ...... Please...... Don't ......"

Zhuang Shaojun covered his ears and cried loudly.

(l~1`x*>+``+