Shu Hang's state today is terrible, very bad. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

Anyone with a discerning eye can see that he has a cold face all day long, and he can't see happiness from his expression some time ago, but at least at that time, when dealing with people, he will still hook the corners of his lips out of politeness, even if he doesn't smile, at least he smiles.

But today, there are no different facial expressions, and the complexion is so dark that it is visible to the naked eye, and the aura around the body is like ice, and everyone who approaches it feels a deep chill.

yes, he sucks.

Last night, when I drank high in the bar with my fox friends, I had a faint premonition.

In the early hours of the morning, I returned home drunk and habitually glanced at her Weibo before going to bed. But it was this glance that made him completely sober up, and then he couldn't sleep.

The sweet group photo, with the simple word "married", was so informative that it made him feel dizzy.

Cheng Jiayi in the photo is still familiar to him, with a childish smile on his white and tender round face, full of vitality, as if he will never grow up.

Her smile is always so infectious, so sweet that she seems to be able to squeeze out honey at any time, so that people who see it can't help but laugh along.

Shu Hang stared at the photo, her thriving smiling face, and the corners of her lips hooked up a touch of bitterness.

He hadn't seen her smile so pure, so wanton in a long, long time. It was his fault, his own fault, that he lost her. Long before she ran away from home, she hadn't laughed like this since he ignored him.

The smile that originally belonged to him alone, but it probably won't be shown for him again in this life.

Shu Hang's heart couldn't help but hurt, lying on the bed weakly, covering his eyes with one hand, unconsciously, a warm liquid rolled down his cheeks into his ears, and the feeling of hearing being affected by the humidity was extremely uncomfortable, but it was not as uncomfortable as his heart at the moment.

The man on her left is called Ye Qingyun, and his eyes looking at her are full of love, so warm that he doesn't dare to take a second look.

That kind of look actually explains everything, no wonder Cheng's father turned against him at the beginning, and now even he has to admit that he was defeated.

In Ye Qingyun's eyes, there was appreciation and love, and there was a firm belief that she would definitely make her happy. Shu Hang also had this kind of belief, or rather, still has it, but he has not been able to fulfill it well.

He hurt her, so deeply, how can he compare with the other party?

Is it really until you lose it that you will know how to cherish it? If he had understood earlier, wouldn't the two of them have fallen to such a point?

Memories rolled in like floodgates, drowning him.

He is so despicable, relying on her to love him and will not leave him, ignoring her feelings as a matter of course, coveting a moment of spending time and drinking, and forgetting the care that should be reciprocated as a boyfriend.

I had it once and wanted to change it.

On that occasion, he returned late as usual, in the early hours of the morning, to be exact. It's just that I was playing poker in a teahouse that time, but I didn't drink, so I was still very sober when I got home.

When I entered the bedroom, I unexpectedly found that Cheng Jiayi, who was supposed to be sleeping on the bed, was not there.

The night light in the room was on, and the TV was on, and it was fixed on the movie channel every night, but she was not there.

At that moment, he was a little panicked, forgetting that he had just come out of the bathroom, snatched the door and looked inside, but he was still gone.

But the pair of fluffy purple slippers she often wore were well placed at the door of the room, and there was no sign of her going out.

Dialing her, I heard the phone ringing at the bedside.

In the winter, Shu Hang's palms were oozing sweat, she had always been a girl who reassured him, and she would report to him wherever she went, and he couldn't find her for the first time, and he was completely panicked.

Ran downstairs to make sure her car was still there, ran back and rummaged through the shoe cabinet, and it seemed that none of the shoes were missing, and finally had no choice but to check the number of coats in the closet.

Then, finally, in the corner of the closet, he found her.

Wearing a thin nightdress, curled up and hidden behind one piece of clothing. The body temperature is cold, and there are dry tear stains on the face.

Shu Hang didn't know how she was in the closet, she only knew that she was in that second, and she was distressed, and at the same time she breathed a sigh of relief.

He carried her back to the bed, covered her tightly with a thick quilt, and silently made up his mind in his heart that he would never let her do this again.

However, the next day, no one mentioned this episode, Cheng Jiayi was still as usual, after kissgoodbye, he went out to work with a smile, and when he got off work, he obediently sent an ordinary sentence "Don't socialize too late." "Express your indulgence to him.

So Shu Hang gradually forgot about this matter, and gradually forgot his so-called determination.

Come to think of it.

He clenched one hand into a fist in pain, so strong that his joints turned slightly white, and pounded his forehead fiercely.

At that time, why didn't you have time to reflect?

I stayed up until I got off work, didn't want to go anywhere, casually turned down my friend's appointment, and went home.

Shu Hang has always had Cheng Jiayi in his heart today, full of room for nothing, all of them are Cheng Jiayi, I don't know why I miss her more than any moment in the past.

So when he staggered up the stairs, a picture of them laughing in the corridor appeared in a trance. I don't know if it's because I've been together since I was a child, or because Cheng Jiayi has been staying in the first acquaintance for so many years, when he is with her, he can't help but do some childish things with her.

Even though he is in his twenties, he still often naively plays rock-paper-scissors on these stairs and climbs the stairs.

Probably this game for everyone has an unusual meaning for the two of them, since high school, it has been their most enthusiastic entertainment.

At that time, Shu Hang always thought that he was lucky, and every time he could reach the top first, and then proudly watched his girl laugh and jump up a few steps to hold his arm.

Now that I think about it, how can anyone be so lucky every time? Xiaoyi is such a smart girl, I am afraid that she has figured out his habits and routines, and in order to satisfy his machismo, she deliberately loses to him.

So, did he use up all the good luck she gave him in game after game of rock-paper-scissors? In the end, the greatest luck of "marrying her" was given to someone else?

The white wall around the corner, and the memories of him occasionally running a few quick steps, shaking her off, and then hiding until her footsteps approached, and then deliberately popping up to scare her.

These innocences, so pure, so beautiful, so searing, but how could he mistakenly get tired of her, mistakenly reject, and mistakenly lose her in the early years?

I wanted to remember her quietly alone.

But back at home, the house is full of traces of Cheng Jiayi's life, dining table, kitchen, bathroom, her favorite blue sofa, TV, dresser...... She is everywhere.

Shu Hang only felt that his thoughts were suffocating him more and more, and finally he was irritable and casually asked someone out for a drink.

At this moment, he especially wanted to get drunk, although he already knew that there was no room for recovery, but if there was still room to dream, at least the pain was not so thorough.

"Married", he has no intention of leaving him with a future at all.

This news came so suddenly, so quickly, and so unprepared, and it didn't give him a buffer to heal by time, so it was smashed down with a head and face.

It's like a glass of high spirits, and your throat is hot and painful as soon as you eat it.

Shu Hang shook the dice with others, shouted numbers randomly, lost one glass after another, and poured wine into his mouth.

Originally, it was for drinking, and the game was played carelessly, and several times I didn't even bother to open the dice cup, grabbed the wine glass and drank it all.

My friend saw his abnormality, and he didn't ask or blame him, but accompanied him with understanding.

But he used wine to drown his sorrows, and as alcohol played a role in his body, Shu Hang only felt that his thoughts about Cheng Jiayi were getting stronger and stronger, and they were becoming more and more uncontrollable.

I'm already drunk, after so much drinking, I must have been drunk, as usual, I should have entered a trance, but why am I still so sober today, I know that I miss her so much, and after I vomited by the sink, my tears fell into the rinse water without warning.

He really wanted to hear her sweet voice, he wanted to see her round little face, he wanted to hug her soft body.

But he was so aware that he couldn't do anything, he couldn't do anything, not even a phone call, and he wasn't allowed to make a call.

Why not get a little drunker? Drunk to the point of losing his mind, drunk to the point of having no scruples, drunk to do whatever he wants.

Shu Hang really drank too much, friends and even the security guards at the bar, many people persuaded him to take a taxi home, and some people directly called him a substitute driver, but he was low and irritable, where could he listen.

Subjectively, subconsciously, he just wanted Cheng Jiayi to pick him up.

If you can't ask for it, you can't get it, and you don't even have the courage to ask for it, so you can only stubbornly insist on driving yourself.

In the dead of night, the road was empty, and he drove at high speed for a long time, his stomach and heart were on the verge of collapse, and he braked and stopped in the middle of the road.

Lying on the steering wheel, silently weeping without compromise.

How can a man cry? He has been strong since he was a child, and he gritted his teeth and never cried when he didn't take anesthetic stitches, but every time he thought of Cheng Jiayi, he couldn't control his tears.

Later, drunk, tired, and unconsciously fell asleep.

I don't know how long it took, a traffic police officer woke him up by the car window.

Shu Hang looked at the blue clothes in front of him in a daze, and his brain realized sluggishly: Something is wrong!

But my heart was unexpectedly calm and numb.

People who often hang out at night and are inseparable from alcohol most of the time, in fact, when they encounter this situation, there are more or less ways to find them, but he smiled bitterly, and he has no intention of finding a way.

The traffic police seemed to say something to ask him to cooperate, and he didn't listen to it much, but he obediently did not resist the steps such as measuring the alcohol content, and showed a distressing appearance of being slaughtered, and was finally taken back to the police station.

Blood was drawn, confessions were recorded, and he was placed in a chair waiting for him to wake up.

Shu Hang felt very tired, not physically tired, but mentally tired.

I used to think that the colorful world outside was wonderful, and I felt that the glass cover imprisoned by Cheng Jiayi was boring and boring, but at this moment, I realized that the so-called outside world was so boring and empty, and in the future, without Cheng Jiayi's glass cover, he didn't know how to continue walking.

When he signed the confession, he probably knew that there would be a prison life, but he felt unusually calm: This is ...... It's good.

There was no hesitation, no helplessness, just a deep feeling of powerlessness.

When it came to bail pending trial, for a moment, I wanted to call Cheng Jiayi over willfully, with her easy-to-soft personality, she would definitely not stand idly by when he encountered difficulties.

But when he looked down and looked at his embarrassed appearance now, he could only smile wryly and shake his head, and casually called a friend.

That day, it wasn't until dawn that Shu Hang came out of the police station and was sent home by a friend.

I took a leave of absence and lay peacefully in bed for a day.

Back to normal life.

It's just that later, in the months before the trial, he never drank again, and even went home directly after work and dinner every day, pushed all the drinking games, and never stayed outside.

Live a simple life.

During this period, a friend joked that he was transgender, and he just laughed.

Some friends guessed that Cheng Jiayi was recovered, so he was strictly controlled, and he just smiled and did not deny it. I bitterly hope that this is the end.

He had also been to Cheng Jiayi's studio a few times, and watched her walk out of the office building holding Ye Qingyun's hand from a distance across the road. Then take a taxi and follow the white Mercedes.

He didn't bother, and he didn't think he was in a position to bother, but he came anyway, he just wanted to see her again.

She was still the girl in his memory, but she was well taken care of by another man, and she had lost the gloom that she occasionally showed before, and became brighter and more moving.

It turned out that Ye Qingyun would come to pick her up from work every day, it turned out that they would buy vegetables and cook at home, and it turned out that such a daily and trivial life of firewood, rice, oil and salt was so happy.

It turns out that I can go in and out with her, right...... Make people ...... Envy.

It's just a blessing, he can't say it, knowing that he is at fault first, but looking at her happy appearance, he inexplicably has the illusion of being abandoned by her.

Cheng Jiayi is actually a very sharp person.

may have been too dull and insensitive when she was a child, and she was taught, but she gradually taught herself the ability to be vigilant about her surroundings. Later, he will feel the gaze projected on himself and the suspicious tail behavior.

So in the days when Shu Hang followed her, she received that gaze and also noticed the taxi behind the car.

However, firstly, there were not many times, and she was not sure whether it was really true, or she was suspicious, and secondly, in order not to worry Ye Qingyun, she saw that the other party did not mean to go further, so she did not delve into who the other party was, and then this feeling did not appear again, so she silently turned the page.

? (To be continued.) )