After hanging up the phone, Cheng Jiayi couldn't sleep anymore, she tossed and turned in bed, her heart was numb, on the one hand, thinking that it was still early, in order to be full of energy the next day, she had to sleep a little longer, and on the other hand, even if she desperately closed her eyes and active thinking, her brain couldn't sleep at all. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

Originally, the question she was struggling with was to continue to associate with Ye Qingyun like she is now, and develop step by step naturally, whether it is out of the love she yearns for.

In this relationship, she seems to have always been too passive, liked, loved, hugged, kissed, and spoiled, although this is probably the sweetness that every woman craves to have, but it is so sweet that it feels too dreamy and not real enough. It makes her very unsteady.

And his feelings for Ye Qingyun seem to be still stuck in the level of liking, but love is insufficient, and he will not feel disgusted and resistant to being intimate with him, but those thoughts that belong to love and involuntary initiative, as well as the strong possessiveness in the past, are not strong enough.

She couldn't tell the difference, she didn't know if it was because she was old and no longer as intense as when she was a child, or because her feelings for him were just so far from love.

When she was with Ye Qingyun, she was happy. The state of the whole person is very relaxed, because she is too familiar, and she has been familiar with it without concealment, so she doesn't need to disguise herself at all, she returns to this home, and she is back to the most authentic self, whether it is twisting and pinching when she is nervous, or crying in an instant when she is depressed, she can do whatever she wants, no need to worry, and no need to control.

When she was with Shu Hang in the past, she rarely felt like this, because she loved it too much and was too afraid of losing, so she often tried to maintain her best side, afraid that if some shortcomings were exposed, he would no longer like herself so much.

In order not to make him feel that he is a burden, he often relegates himself to play the role of a sensible and generous girlfriend, because he knows that he likes that kind of girl, so no matter how much he longs for his care in his heart, how much he wants to be unreasonable and willful, he just hides in the corner of the closet and silently sheds tears.

When she was with Ye Qingyun, she was very down-to-earth, and she would not be uncontrollably frightened like when she was with Shu Hang in the past, thinking that she had to trust him, and at the same time she was entangled in his late return and so on, does this also mean that she doesn't care so much about Ye Qingyun?

#

Before dawn, Cheng Jiayi really couldn't sleep, lying on the bed also felt all kinds of uncomfortable, simply got up, tiptoed to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator to find something to drink, his eyes lingered on juice, coffee, tea and the like, and finally fell on the filled Heineken beer, the 500ml slender columnar can, which she bought casually when she went to the supermarket a while ago, and just felt that she needed to put a little wine at home in case of emergency, but she didn't expect it to really become a demand at this time.

Early in the morning, on an empty stomach, cold beer, it's really not a good choice. But she can't care so much, because there is another new item in her current troubles, that is, is there any hope for Shu Hang?

In her heart, she is not as resolute as she says in words, after all, the relationship of more than ten years is not something that can be lost, thinking that she has passed, but every time, even a little bit of news about him can make her heart fluctuate.

I tried to avoid reading the messages he sent, and tried to avoid answering his calls, but once I heard his voice, the protective walls that had been built with great difficulty collapsed in an instant, and no matter how cold and detached he was on the outside, he could never ignore the instinct that approached him in his heart.

Every cell in his body still retains the posture and memory of loving him. Including the things she knew about men and women, all of them were taught to her by him.

#

Cheng Jiayi stood with his back against the refrigerator door, and quickly drank a can of beer, probably because he was in too much of a hurry, and his head began to feel a little dizzy.

Her eyes filled with hot liquid, and tears rolled silently as she struggled to pry open the second can of beer with her key.

She smiled bitterly at herself and took another big sip. How can you be such a weak person? I always cry at every turn for no reason, I don't know who these tears are for and for what, is it because there is too much water in the body? It takes so much catharsis to be so fearless. Or is every tear precious and has its own meaning?

She felt that she needed a wardrobe, a wooden wardrobe, the kind with double sliding doors, and then in the compartment full of dresses, she could hide herself, in the huddle position she liked best, leaning against the wall of the cabinet in the corner, with the skirt as the first layer of curtain, and the sliding door as the second layer of protection, and hide in the deep darkness.

If Mengmeng knows, I'm afraid I'll have to accuse her of hypocrisy.

Obviously, there is nothing big about it, but it is a big fuss to find a ceremony.

It's a pity that Ye Qingyun's home doesn't have a suitable wardrobe, the walk-in dressing room in his room is too big, more like a small black room for punishing children who make mistakes, and what she temporarily bought for herself is just a simple assembled wardrobe, and the load-bearing is not enough at all.

Her thoughts began to blur as another can of beer fell, and her eyes were tired and she just wanted to close them. But two cans were not enough emotionally, and she wanted to drink another can, so she slowly slid down with the refrigerator on her back, and finally sat on the floor, closed her eyes, and continued to pour wine into her mouth.

Uncomfortable. I didn't have the strength to walk back to my room.

Therefore, when Ye Qingyun got up and was about to go to work, the first thing he saw when he opened the door was the open door of the guest bedroom, which was messy and empty.

With nervousness and worry, he went out and saw that in the kitchen with the light on, Cheng Jiayi was leaning against the corner formed by the refrigerator and the wall with his head scattered, falling asleep.

In her hand, there were three empty cans of Heineken beer and a bunch of keys.

Ye Qingyun put down the briefcase in her hand, walked over distressedly, took her into her arms, carefully and gently brushed away the long hair covering her face, and saw that on her fair cheeks, there was a slightly drunken red, and tight tear stains after drying. The heart seemed to be pinched by something intangible, and it was so stuffy that it couldn't be overwhelmed.

He picked her up horizontally, dropped a kiss on her forehead, hesitated, and put it on his bed.

Untied her tie, wrung a hot towel to wipe her face, looked at her insecure sleeping position like a newborn baby, and finally sent the assistant a message that she would be late, and decided to stay with her.