Zhao Zhongxiang once said: Spring is blooming, everything is recovering, and it is the season of animal mating.

If the frequency of human beings in winter exceeds that in spring, does it prove that although human beings are biologically animals, they are sociologically different from animals?

Di Yun and his wife have been creating a number of jù for this argument in the past few days.

At the end of November, the winter mode has already started in the capital, and the weather has cooled down. The two of them have no drama or advertising for the time being, they are completely idle, they dislike the cold outside, they don't like to dress bloated like a bear to go outside, unless necessary, they have been shrunk at home and lived a life without shame and impatience.

Why use the word shameless and irritable?

Because when they are awake, they spend a third of their time in bed.

Let's do the math, twenty-four hours a day, adults are calculated according to eight hours of sleep every day, and the time spent awake is sixteen hours, and one-third is five and one-third hours.

Except for the hour of lying still, the hour of lying in bed, and the hour of reading, there are still two and a third hours left.

Make love for 30 minutes... No... plus foreplay and after-the-fact comfort is counted as fifty minutes for Di Yun, which means that he will make love 2.8 times a day.

But Di Yun counted the eighteen small boxes beside the bed, and found that he had not consumed fourteen in five days, only eight.

After thinking about it, I feel that this algorithm is not quite correct, for example, now, when the daughter-in-law hugs him tightly and spasms slightly for a while, he will stop and wait for a while, sometimes long and sometimes short, which invisibly prolongs the **** time.

After waiting for a while, when she recovered, she straightened her hair that was wet with sweat and stuck to her face, and said, "Okay, I'm moving." ”

"Hmm."

After a short pause, the bed creaked as if overwhelmed, and finally calmed down after ten minutes.

After resting for a while, Di Yun got up to clean up the two of them, and lay down beside her and hugged her in his arms.

The hand passes through the armpit and rests naturally on top of the softness. said: "I lost weight during this time. ”

"Isn't it good to lose weight?" Old Xu Dao.

Di Yun shook her head, the stubble on her chin tickled her shoulders a little, making her wriggle a little.

"If you move again, I'll do it again!" Di Yun threatened.

Lao Xu didn't dare to move anymore and didn't see each other for a month. It's been enough for her in the past few days. But the heart is sweet and gratifying, at least it means that this guy didn't steal food outside and abstinent for a month.

Di Yun gently pinched his hand and said, "If you lose weight, you won't feel it." ”

Lao Xu pinched him with his backhand.

Di Yun squeezed his hand again in retaliation. Then he found that the key parts were in the hands of the enemy, and he didn't dare to be arrogant anymore, and said: "You play with fire yourself." Don't blame me. ”

Lao Xu found that this guy was really a little impatient again, so he quickly let go of his hand, lifted the quilt and escaped from the bed, put on his pants and a wide shirt and entered the study: "I'll make clothes, just have a little more." ”

Di Yun was a little painful, and Lao Xu somehow suddenly had such a hobby of making clothes.

The day after he returned, he made him a pair of bottoms, handmade, although the needle eye was a little wider and the raw edge was a little more, but the size was about the same. No one can see it if you wear it inside, so it's not a shame.

Then I got a lot of confidence, and I made myself a simple dress, and I succeeded, and now I'm making pants for him.

Di Yun looked at the ceiling, and slowly became confused without counting the sheep. Although a lot of fire has been accumulated for more than a month, it has been released in a few days, and after the refreshment, there is a word, tired, as if something in the body has been sucked away.

"Hi. How about getting up and trying on the pants. ”

"Oh, oh—" Diyun opened her eyes to see her dangling in front of her with a pair of slightly weird-looking pants.

Get up and put it on naked. The first time I didn't put it on, I pulled it violently, snorted, and my pants were torn.

Di Yun was 10,000 happy in his heart, but fortunately it didn't work out, fortunately it was at home. If you wear it out, bend over your pants and tear them open a gap, revealing the black or red inside, then it's a shame.

Lao Xu's eyes widened in surprise, and then he became embarrassed.

Di Yun looked at her and complained wittily, "The cloth you bought there?" It's too unaffordable, you see, it's broken with a light pull. As he spoke, he sneered and ripped his pants open again until he couldn't wear them at all.

Lao Xu nodded seriously and said: "The quality of the cloth and thread is not good on the one hand, and on the other hand, the pants are shorter and narrower. ”

Di Yun wanted to discourage her enthusiasm for making pants, but seeing that she took the initiative to find problems on herself and said it so solemnly, she knew that this matter was not over.

Sure enough, Lao Xu went out and brought the tape measure.

"I haven't measured it for you before, I made it with my thoughts, it's not realistic, now I'll measure the size for you and make a new one."

Di Yun said with a bitter face: "If we don't do it, can we succeed?" It's easy to go out and buy it! ”

"No!" Lao Xu said with a straight face.

Di Yun fell back on the bed like a appointment, spread his limbs, and posed into a ** Taizi, let him do it.

Lao Xu put the other end of the ruler on his head and said, "Press it with your hand." ”

"What are you doing with pants?"

"Don't worry so much, just press it."

Di Yun had no choice but to press it with his hand, his eyes were still closed, and the expression on his face was like a little girl who was about to be ravaged by two big men.

Lao Xu pulled the ruler to the bottom of his feet and read: "One meter eighty-three." Standing up, amused by the look on his face, he patted it and said, "Let go." ”

Then he measured the distance from the navel to the soles of his feet and said, "One meter and one six." ”

Seeing that she was no longer moving, Di Yun opened his eyes and glanced at him and said, "Measured?" ”

"No, I haven't measured my hips and waist, just lie there and wait a while."

After finishing speaking, she found a piece of paper and pen and calculated, she remembered that the golden ratio was 0.618, and dividing 1.16 by 1.83 yielded 0.633, which was slightly larger than the golden factor, which meant that the legs were slightly longer.

sighed and said, "The legs are a little long, not the golden ratio." ”

Di Yun has also calculated his figure, and his legs have indeed grown a little, but he has always thought that this is a characteristic, and he is disgusted at this time, and he rolls his eyes and is too lazy to take care of it.

"Roll over and lie on your stomach." Old Xu Dao.

Di Yun turned over and lay on his stomach, showing that his buttocks were even more stiff and narrow.

Lao Xu measured his waist and hips, slapped him on the ass and said, "Turn it over again." ”

"Isn't it all over, what are you going to do with it?" Diyun wasn't quite happy anymore.

"If you turn it over, you can turn it, where is there so much nonsense?"

"Don't flip!"

"Really don't flip?"

"Don't flip!"

Pia got another slap in the ass.

Is this mother-in-law crazy today or possessed by a goblin? So arrogant! I turned over all of a sudden, and was about to sit up, but I was sat on my stomach and pressed down again.

Then he felt that Xiao Diyun was held in his hand, and he gestured with a ruler.

"Holy!" Di Yun was suddenly messy.

"It's so small, only eleven centimeters." Lao Xu said in disgust, "And it's soft and collapsed like a slug, ugly and dead!" As he spoke, he flicked his fingers twice.

Nima's, can such a mother-in-law endure it? Xiao Diyun immediately became furious, and his sword was tense.

Di Yun put his hands into the shirt and shook her waist, and with a little effort, he turned over and became a man and a woman.

"What do you want to do?" Lao Xu asked pitifully with his hands on his chest.

Di Yun's nerves were stirred, and the little guy who was half-soft and not hard was immediately full of guts.

This change naturally couldn't escape the feelings of the woman under her, so she became more delicate, and she did enough drama, and there was moisture in her eyes: "Please let me go, I'll give you whatever you want." ”

The man was poked hard at a certain point, and there was a lot of evil fire in his chest, not to mention that this is his daughter-in-law, and he can't help it.

Di Yun saw that she was very involved in the play, so he pretended to be hideous and said with a lewd smile: "The little lady fell into the hands of a certain person today, which naturally let you see the power of slugs." With that, he leaned down.

"Don't..."

Just then, the phone rang.

The man who had completed his transformation still didn't care about the phone at this time, so Di Yun didn't pay attention to it at all.

Lao Xu picked up the phone and looked at it, quickly patted him and said, "Get up, my mother's phone!" ”

Di Yun's heart suddenly became half cold, and he fell to the side panting, only something was speechless and asked the sky.

Lao Xu laughed when he saw his embarrassment, and finally couldn't hold back his laughter and connected the phone.

"Mom, what's the matter?"

"Hurry home." Xu Mu said.

"What time is it, what are you going to do?"

"What time is it? It's almost eleven o'clock at noon! Don't tell me that you haven't gotten up yet? Xu Mu said incredulously.

Lao Xu looked at the curtain and said, "Up, up." ”

"I know Xiaoyun is back, I'll tell you ......"

"Okay, okay, I know, I know, you can say something quickly." Lao Xu hurriedly interrupted.

"Fate is about to get rid of the puppy, and I'm barking right now."

"Going to give birth?"

"Well, it should be."

"I know, I'll go back right away!" After Lao Xu finished speaking, he hung up the phone directly, and said to Di Yun, "Hurry up and get dressed, and go home with me." ”

Seeing the anxious expression on her face, Di Yun sat up and asked, "What happened, what happened?" ”

"Fate is about to be born, my mother said that she was calling at this time, let's hurry up and take a look."

Although Di Yun thought that this was not a big deal, seeing his anxious appearance, he still felt that it would be better to be less hesitant at this time, so he hurriedly dressed and washed.

ps1: I don't know how to write this, I don't know if I can make everyone commotion.

PS2: Ask for recommendations and commuter passes. It is said that crying children have milk to eat, and the authors who can call have monthly passes and recommendations, and we also call them two voices. (To be continued.) For mobile phone users, please visit wènhttp://mnet

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