Ever since he knew that something was wrong with his head, Cheng Jiayi always had a feeling of being particularly uneasy and overwhelmed. Pen × fun × Pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 info This feeling was very strong, so strong that she was lying on the hospital bed, even if she was accompanied by Ye Qingyun, she slept very lightly. Pretending to be calm and cheerful, pretending to be okay and joking, once they all relaxed, they were firmly wrapped in uneasiness, and their nerves were tense, for fear that something would happen to them.

She thought she was probably afraid of death.

So when I just fell out of bed, I would run to get a CT scan.

However, she also understands the reason for being afraid of death, and in the final analysis, there are still "concerns".

When she was betrayed by Shu Hang and ran away from home, she thought about dying. In fact, since Shu Hang gradually snubbed her earlier, she had more or less thoughts of seeking death. When a person does anything, he thinks deeply of another person in his mind, but the person who is missed will not even give a little mercy, there will really be a feeling of being loveless.

At that time, Cheng Jiayi wanted Shu Hang when he was drawing design drafts, thinking about Shu Hang when he was in meetings, and thinking about Shu Hang when he was reading books...... When doing everything she originally liked, she would think about why Shu Hang didn't love herself so much, so all the things that made her happy were all heavy because of this sad contemplation, and she didn't want to touch it again.

It may be good for her to know that there is another woman, and before she has a nervous breakdown, she is given a fork in the road to re-examine her past, either she can't let go of him and let go of herself completely, or let go of him and come back to life.

During the year she was alone, several times she sat on the windowsill of her hotel room, drinking wine and guessing what it would be like to fall into the wind.

It's probably like playing trapeze in a playground, jumping bravely, and then having a heart palpitation in your chest when you're in free fall.

This feeling, she didn't like.

In the playground, she still prefers teacups, merry-go-rounds, and Ferris wheels, which are more "gentle" and "quiet", and the only acceptable and slightly "thriller" is the roller coaster, and it has to be the type that does not have such a big drop difference.

If it weren't for the fact that Shu Hang wanted to play trapeze once, and this project had to be done together, he coerced and lured her into the air, and she probably wouldn't have experienced the feeling of free fall for the rest of her life.

I still remember that time, Shu Hang took her hand and asked her to line up with him, and when he gradually moved to the middle with the line, he asked her with a smile: "Do you want to go up and try it too?" It's nothing scarier than a roller coaster......"

Cheng Jiayi's refusal shook like a rattle.

But the more I walked forward, the more I realized that something was not quite right, and I vaguely heard the staff saying that this facility had to be attended by two people for the sake of balance.

Underneath the facility, there are already bold girls, because their companions are reluctant to explore, and stand alone in front of them, waiting for another tourist who is also lonely.

Cheng Jiayi simply tilted his head and asked, "Do you have to wait for another partner later?" ”

Shu Hang smiled evilly: "Why don't you accompany me?" ”

Cheng Jiayi firmly refused: "Don't! ”

There are only two groups of people separated from the facility, and the bold girl has not yet waited for her partner, Shu Hang continued to laugh evilly and tease Cheng Jiayi: "Look, if it goes on like this, I will have to be tied up with that girl, don't you mind?" ”

Cheng Jiayi raised her eyes and glanced in the direction of the girl, she was quite young and beautiful, so she bit her lip and lowered her head, muttering quietly: "You can wait for the next boy......"

Shu Hang: "Do you think it's so lively here, the staff will let the two people not tie them up, and let them wait endlessly here?" ”

Cheng Jiayi's possessiveness was still very strong at that time, and the small vinegar jar was also very full, and he grabbed Shu Hang's arm with both hands, and immediately coquettish: "Then you don't want to play with this, okay?" Go play the kind that you can play alone? I'll line up with you! ”

Shu Hang: "But I'm very interested in this, so I want to play it once." ”

Cheng Jiayi puffed out his cheeks and didn't know what to do for a while.

Shu Hang continued to coax: "Just accompany me once?" This is not as scary as you think, and the two of us are tied together, and I hold your hand all the time, what else is there to be afraid of? ”

Cheng Jiayi was suspicious: "......? ”

Shu Hang coaxed Cheng Jiayi to have her own set, and seeing that she was already a little hesitant, he added strength: "Or, you can imagine it as the kind of picture in the TV series where the outlaw mandarin duck is desperate and martyred together......"

Before Shu Hang finished speaking, it was their turn, Cheng Jiayi was confused and made up the romantic plot he depicted, and unconsciously followed the traction of Shu Hang and the staff to the high platform.

It wasn't until she was tied up with Shu Hang that she came back to her senses and resisted, but it was too late, Shu Hang's big right hand clenched her delicate left hand hard, and said encouragingly: "Close your eyes, jump!" ”

Cheng Jiayi instinctively obediently jumped down with him.

The air flow in her chest made her lose her voice even in surprise.

opened her eyes and turned her head, but met Shu Hang's gentle face close at hand, and the sound of the wind came into her ears together, and there was a sentence that was soft enough to melt her heart: "I love you." ”

Yes, in addition to the breathless heart palpitations, after jumping from a high place, there is indeed a physical and mental refreshment after putting aside all your troubles.

Those nights when they thought about it for a hundred years, and then what came to mind were inevitably the appearance of their parents crying into tears.

That's the concern.

Over the years, she has not been very filial, because with her brother, she has very little time to accompany her parents, but the love and concern between relatives will not break, so that when she thinks of the picture of her parents holding her portrait and crying until a night of whiteness, tears can't help but roll down.

The moments when she held the fruit knife against her slender wrist were all forced back to the point of losing strength by the face of her mother in her mind.

Sometimes I feel that I think too much, I think too much, and when it doesn't happen, I can make up a bunch of sadistic plots and hurt myself completely; Sometimes I feel that it's good to think too much, at least for now, I have survived the most sad years, and I am still living here, with someone who loves me by my side, guarding and protecting.

But it also made her worry more, thinking of the shadow in her mind, maybe it was not as simple as bruising, maybe it would be a tumor, or even if it was malignant......

Death is more acceptable than self-results, but the people she loves, the people who love her, that kind of grief, a little thought, can make her burst into tears. (To be continued.) )