Quiet, the whole world was silent, only the sound of water was rattling, as if it was a protective film, isolating him from the outside world. Pen Fun Pavilion www.biquge.info at this moment, he is safe.

The whole person sat curled up in the bathtub, letting the hot water spray down from the showerhead, but the body still had no temperature at all, the biting cold burst out from the inside out, the brain was a mess, and he couldn't even sort out a train of thought, he couldn't even tell what he was feeling at the moment, whether it was disappointment, fear, sadness, hesitation, panic, happiness, apprehension, joy, sweetness, bitterness, or ...... It's messy, everything is messed up, it's messed up.

Since his rebirth, his firm faith began to collapse at this moment.

He can hurt Jessica Alba in cold blood and ruthlessly, without any guilt at all; He could use Diana Russ to achieve his own ends, even if he ruined her career without any psychological burden; He could watch Diorama Pictures fall apart with determination, completely uncaring that it was a castle he had built with his own hands; He can orchestrate to lure/lure George Clooney into a trap and then sneer at him as he gets caught up in the trap and doesn't even mind continuing to fall into the trap; He can calmly and cruelly plot one plot after another, making everyone a pawn in his own hands, even Tom Cruise, even Michael Fassbinder, without any hesitation; He can decide the fate of others in the midst of invulnerability, laughter and conversation, just like God, but he does not have to bear any moral burden at all......

However, he suddenly found that he was not the hard-hearted he imagined, he would still put his dreams in his heart desperately, he would still abandon reason for the passion in his heart, and he would still ...... He will still be a moth to the fire and cherish the warmth and tenderness, and let the softness in his heart become a fatal loophole. He overthrew himself since he was reborn, and he stood in front of the public as if he were a naked fruit, allowing anyone to come and hurt him, but he had no power to fight back.

Ridiculous, how ridiculous is this!

"Heh", he couldn't help but chuckle, laughing at his own self-righteousness, satirizing his arrogance, and making fun of his own inadequacy. He's a fool, he was, and he is, he thinks he's changed, he's changed, but at the end of the day, he's still the same fool who willingly shows his back and hands the dagger of trust to the other party. He's Reims, he's Lancelot-Strello, he's Li Jin, in essence, he hasn't changed, he's never been.

The water from the shower head was spilling down wildly, so turbulent that people couldn't breathe, and the light in his vision began to get fainter and weaker, and the world suddenly became so quiet, he was tired, really tired. After being strong for too long, he was still tired after all.

"Bang bang bang!" The sound of a fierce knock on the door kept echoing in the bathroom, earth-shattering, "Lance! Reims! The cry became more and more urgent, "Are you alright?" Reims? Are you okay? The urgent voice was almost breathless, "Lancelot! You fucking/fucking bastard, what the hell is wrong with you? Loud huh? Are you okay? "That's Gawain, Gawain's impatient and flustered voice is so familiar, since childhood.

Lance remembers that when he was a child, when he was three or five years old, he obediently sat on the couch and watched TV, and the TV showed that Fiona, who was in a state of drug use, was actually holding a syringe to inject him, and he was ignorant, he didn't understand anything, and he didn't even understand what it meant. But this frightened Gawain, he tried his best to stop Fiona, but he couldn't push Fiona's huge adult body, and finally he pressed his head against Fiona's stomach, and pushed Fiona down, Fiona passed out directly to the ground, and Gawain was also frightened, and sat down beside Fiona with blank eyes, not knowing what to do.

"Lancelot! Grass! You'd better not get caught by me, or I'll teach you a hard lesson!" Gawain's angry voice pierced through the door panel and echoed softly in the bathroom, "It's not funny, it's not funny at all!" Lance, you'd better not joke with me! The knock on the door became more and more intense, "Grass! You bastard! In the end, Gawain also gave up, and the whole person rushed over, and the wooden door of the bathroom was knocked open.

Looking at Lance curled up in the bathtub, Gawain was suddenly frightened, ran over quickly, knelt directly on the ground, turned off the switch of the shower head, and wiped the water droplets on Lance's cheeks, "Lance, what's wrong?" Tell me, what the hell is going on? You look terrible, are you hurt? Gawain couldn't see any life in Lance's eyes, which made him panic, and the nightmare in his mind swept over again, and that sense of powerlessness made Gawain shake Lance like crazy, "Ambulance, ambulance, we need an ambulance......"

"Snort." A soft sneer came from the corner of Lance's mouth, and then it evolved into laughter, "Haha. Lance looked at Gawain's embarrassment, the corners of his mouth raised, and a big smile bloomed, "Haha." Lance laughed merrily.

Perhaps, he has indeed never changed, he is still the Lancelot who is willing to run barefoot for his dreams, Li Jin who is willing to do anything for his faith, and Lance who is willing to give everything for his family...... But he is indeed different, he is no longer the Lancelot who easily trusts and falls into the bottomless abyss, no longer the Li Jin who cares about his own achievements and others, and no longer the hesitant and indecisive Lance...... So, many things have changed, but there are still many things that have not changed.

"I was just trying to take a hot shower, you know, even though it's August, it's still cold, and then the old injury to the joint in my left hand has returned, so sit here and rest and adjust. What's going on with you? Lance could feel that his body temperature was returning to his body little by little, his stiff muscles seemed to regain consciousness, and there was a hint of ridicule in his eyes, and he looked at Gawain playfully, "People who don't know, still think you're catching/raping." ”

"Lancelot!" Gawain gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists, eager to directly choke Lance's neck, especially when he saw Lance's gloating smile, he felt a sense of powerlessness.

Lance turned his head, and then saw Emma standing at the door, she looked at Lance with worried eyes, her fragility could be felt in those eyes, but this fragility was fleeting, replaced by resolute determination, without any timidity to meet Lance's gaze, and even a trace of provocative stubbornness flashed in her eyes. After confirming that Lance was okay, Emma turned around and disappeared from sight without making a sound.

Lance's left hand tightened into a fist, and the urge to catch up was suppressed, but then a wave of regret spread through his chest, and he tried to stand up, but his feet froze in place, unable to move. Then, Ian and Theo's panting and embarrassed figures appeared in his sight, Ian's frowning brows could see his worry, and he quickly looked at the bathroom, as if he was about to attack at any time, Lance suppressed the strangeness in his heart again, "I'm fine, I just want to take a hot shower." ”

But Ian and Theo are not Gawain, they are obviously not so easy to fool, Theo said in a deep voice, "What the hell is going on?" Why is everyone panicking? Skipping all superficial phenomena and hitting the core problem, Theo's eyes fell on Lance deeply.

Lance opened his mouth, and the words circled the tip of his tongue, and finally turned into a smile on the corner of his mouth, "I'm fine." Really, I just need a little bit of time. ”

"But, your left hand ......," Gawain began, but was interrupted by Lance, "Gawain! I really need a hot shower right now. ”

Gawain looked at Lance hesitantly, then turned back to Ian with an inquiring look. Ian looked at Lance, Lance looked back without the slightest concession, the firmness in his eyes did not waver, Ian sighed lightly, "Gawain, you heard what Lance said. "He knows it's not that simple, Lance must have something to say, but he should believe Lance, shouldn't he? After all, Lance was no longer the child who needed their protection.

Gawain left the bathroom, Ian left, and Theo stayed at the end, giving Lance a deep look. Lance smiled and nodded slightly, and Theo closed the door - the lock had been kicked by Gawain, but it was better than nothing.

Lance buried his cheeks in his hands and let out a long breath.

He knew that he needed to change; He knew that he couldn't lock himself up forever; He knew that he still needed to get out of that "safe field" after all, open his heart, learn to accept new friends, learn to trust new friends, and, new relationships; He knows that while he hurts others, he is not hurting himself, he needs to completely abandon the pain of the past, those hurts about Diorama Pictures, those hurts about trust and betrayal, are all in the past, he can't be immersed in the past forever, and he is afraid to reject everyone thousands of miles away; He knew that no matter what time it was, he still needed to learn to trust again, just like he needed to get up again after a fall, as if the wound would still heal after an injury, and how could he embrace the future if he was imprisoned in the past...... He knew, he knew everything, it's just that he needed a little time, he really needed a little bit of time.

This step is not so easy.

I turned on the shower head again, unbuttoned my shirt one by one, the warm hot water slid across my chest, and my heart throbbed slightly. This should be a good thing, right? (To be continued.) )