I slept in the dark for a few days, and with a sharp pain in my body, I opened my eyes and returned to the world.

At first I was confused, after all, I thought I would go to hell and be tortured very severely, and I had heard from the old ladies of the palace that the treatment of people after death was determined by the good and evil they had done in life.

They all thought I was guilty, and I felt the same way. Therefore, I am not afraid, if I want to go up the knife mountain and go down the oil pot, I will also bear it willingly, I know that if the sins of this life are not completely cleared, then I will not have a smooth life in the next life.

I wish to forget that person, forget that I was once born as a woman of the clan.

But God didn't get my wish.

Not only did I not go to hell, but soon I was reborn with my memories.

My mother was a peasant woman, and she was handsome at best, and her eyes would glow when she held me. And my father was tall and burly, a rough man. He likes to drink and often sits at the table, but when he approaches me, he also becomes very nervous and rubs his palms on his body a few times before taking me.

I have never been close to people like them, and when I was the county lord of Prince Duan's mansion in the past, these people did not dare to raise their heads when they saw me. I can often only see their necks and backs.

So at first I was a little scared, but I couldn't walk or scold, so I could only cry.

I heard my mother say, "Don't look at the delicate nature of our maids, but our voices are loud, and we don't lose to our two brothers at all." ”

My father was a little flustered by my crying, and stood helplessly for a while, but he still didn't stretch out his hand, "Our family hasn't had a daughter for several generations, she is so delicate, I still don't hug her, don't hurt her." ”

He turned his back and took a rattle with a kitten fluttering butterflies and gently shook it to amuse me. I saw the caution in his eyes, and saw his clumsiness, and smiled.

He was inspired. I was very happy, grinned, and helped my mother take care of me even more energetically.

The house is an ordinary small farm made of adobe and thatch, but the house has a refreshing fragrance of acacia flowers. I was born in May, the season when the locust flowers bloom. My big name is Su Huai, and my little name is Yaya. In the same way, when my eldest brother was born, he happened to be playing chess on the side of the road with Xiucai from the village, called Su Qi. And when my second brother was born, there were nesting swallows on the beam. That's why it's called Su Yan.

I put down roots in a village in the south of the Yangtze River with a verdant hillside.

But I'm still in the beam.

This is an era when my parents still exist in my previous life.

I didn't speak until I was three years old.

It's not that I have any flaws, it's that I don't want to say it. I think there were so many things I wanted to talk about in my previous life, and that's why it happened to me.

I occasionally hear the news of Jingshi from the mouths of adults, but it is only a few words, they don't know about Jingshi, and they don't think that Prince Duan's Mansion has anything to do with them, what they care about is what new decree has been issued by the imperial court, and which of the local people has won the Jinshi, or. This prefectural order is gone, will the next new prefectural order be more capable?

Gradually, I didn't pay much attention to the distant places. Or maybe I didn't want to pay attention to it at all.

I don't want to have anything to do with the people and things there.

I have a new life, my father's name is Su Ergui, and my mother's name is Huiniang.

My father felt that there was no way out for farming, and he still had to be an official to make a profit, so he saved money and let his eldest brother go to study in the village entrance school, and he was now just a talent at the age of thirteen.

The second brother is so naughty and doesn't like to study, but he is very willing to help people, and the children in the village will automatically come to his house to find him after work every day. Sometimes I don't do anything, as if I'm willing to stay with him. My mother had to farm and take care of me, and at the age of 11, he was in charge of boiling water and cooking. The eggs in the chicken coop will be collected and saved on time, and many of them will be brought to the county to sell.

When he comes back from the county, he always brings me something. Sometimes it's a piece of pea cake, sometimes it's a handful of wild fruits. I didn't dare to eat it at first because it looked like it was unappetizing. But I didn't want to disappoint him, so I took one. It tasted so good, and when I'm done, he'll bring it to me next time.

And sometimes, I will ask him for insurance in front of my father and mother, so that he will not be beaten when he is naughty.

As long as I hugged my father's leg and pleaded, the rattan in my father's hand would avoid the second brother and draw it to the stool next to him.

The eldest brother would always poke us in front of his angry father and say that we were not careful, but when he turned his head, he would get tired of us again, teach the second brother how to play backgammon, and then use the method taught by the sister next door to comb my pigtails.

The person who is most like the old grandmother in the family is the eldest brother, who loves to preach, loves to be verbose, and is the most careful.

On my fifth birthday, my father and mother routinely prepared chicken, duck, fish and new clothes for me, and I climbed on my father's shoulder and kissed him on the face. I was not afraid of him for a long time, and sometimes I would let him carry me to the town to buy cakes.

My mother smiled happily as she watched us cook, her face was wrinkled in her thirties, but her hair was full of satisfaction and happiness. I think she is much more beautiful than the weak and depressed Gu Shi, I like the tranquility on her slightly dark face, and I like her shy smile when she receives the head flower that her father bought for her when he comes back from the street.

All of this makes me more and more attached to this rough and warm home.

In order to celebrate my birthday, the second brother went up the mountain in advance to catch a few rabbits and pheasants, and then pulled me and the stones, iron roots, and cuicui next door at night, and a total of more than a dozen people went to the foot of the east mountain to roast game and eat.

The moon in the sky is very round, no different from the full moon that shines on Suiyindo in the previous life.

I picked up a leaf and put it in my mouth to blow the tune that Gu had taught me.

The tune was melodious, and the originally lively campfire was quiet, and when I finished blowing, I saw that they were all looking at me.

The pheasant is already cooked, it is very fragrant, and the second brother is a good cook. I was hungry and walked over and tore off the chicken leg and ate it.

I sat on the grass and gently smacked my oily mouth.

It wasn't until he watched me finish eating the whole chicken leg that the second brother came back to his senses: "How can Yaya play such a beautiful tune?" How did you blow it so well? ”

"Yes, yes, it's as beautiful as the piano played by Miss Hu in the city!"

"No, no, it's better than Miss Hu's piano!"

Cuicui: They all expressed their opinions.

"The merchant who came to the village to sell bamboo flutes taught me." I said it freely. Then he ate their wine again, and sighed contentedly.

I'm doing something I've never done in my previous life, I'm a girl from a farmer's family, not a county lord.

Go to his lord! Go to his palace! his noble status! I have left behind the appearance of my past life.

Everyone suddenly realized, the second brother frowned and thought for a while, and then said solemnly: "Don't get so close to these people in the future, in case you are abducted, it will be miserable." ”

I sucked on chicken bones. Banri said: "Second brother doesn't want me to get lost?" ”

"Nonsense! Of course not! He said decisively, "If anyone moves a finger of you, I won't do anything!" ”

I gnawed on my bones and smiled, my eyes a little sore, and I lowered my head again.

The friends talked about how terrible the people who walked the rivers and lakes were. The atmosphere is high again.

The eldest brother also came over with an oil lamp, first reprimanded us all, then sat cross-legged next to me, and took out a little rabbit from his bosom that was not delicate but very attentive to the knife and gave it to me.

When I went back, I fell asleep on my eldest brother's back, and I dreamed of Song Che, who always regarded me as an enemy. Xu Ying, who sincerely cares about me but still keeps his distance sensibly, dreamed that he was afraid that people would say that he was biased, so Prince Duan, who was equal in everything, and also dreamed that Gu, who would only blindly shrink in the backyard of the palace.

I know that what I should see most is still myself who was led into the abyss step by step by that person.

Like a poisonous snake, once it appears, it will haunt you.

There is a sea of fire rushing in my heart, I have suppressed the feelings for so long and need to be released, but as long as there is a person who is truly to me, I hate to return the kindness I have stored in my chest, I met that person.

Did I really never doubt him? No. There are still. He never turned on the lights and insisted on not taking me away, and I was still suspicious. But I was so scared, I was afraid that if I confirmed this qiē, his tenderness to me would not exist, and I was afraid that I would fall into the cold world again, so at the last moment, I still listened to his words and poisoned the soup.

I knew I could end up in a situation from which I could never recover.

But I want to live for myself, I want to gamble.

I made a choice that the world thought was wrong. It turns out that I was wrong.

But in my opinion, I just lost the bet.

I lost to my own **, if it wasn't** to cover my eyes, how could I be in such a situation.

However. No one knows how much I crave a down-to-earth love.

I can't even tell anyone, they won't understand why I, as the lord of the county, am so dissatisfied, with a noble birth, a father who seems conscientious and fair, and who is not suppressed by my mother-in-law. Although my brother and sister-in-law are strong, they have never bullied me, and even stood up for me, but I still have my desires.

This longing came at me like a beast of prey, surging at me in my dreams.

I woke up with sad sobs, and when I opened my eyes, there were still tears hanging from my eyes, and under the bed sat a **-year-old boy, who was holding a piece of silk and looking at me in a daze.

"Who are you?" I momentarily withdrew from the sadness of my dreams and looked him up and down defensively.

He sat in my room in a fairly good robe, with a golden lock around his neck and a piece of jade of good texture hanging from his waist.

"I am, I am the son of the new county master, my name is Li Yu." He coughed and said.

I never expected that the son of the county lord would sit in my room, although the county lord even saw my face lightly in my previous life, but the Su family still has a long distance from the county lord.

"Your lieutenant is my cousin." Li Yu said. "I went to my cousin's house as a guest, and his youngest son had a good time with your second brother, so he brought me over." He said as he pointed out.

I got off the ground and walked to the window to take a look, and sure enough, there were a group of children gathered in the courtyard, and the second brother was instructing something.

But I still wondered why he was sitting in front of my bed.

"Where's my eldest brother?" I asked. I remember that on my birthday, my mother told my second brother that it would be good to dry the bacon for another day, while she and my father were going to go to the fields to be busy. So, I just slept all night. And at this time, the eldest brother should be at home to take care of the house.

"Your eldest brother saw that you had a fever and went to boil medicine, and I didn't like to mess with them, so I volunteered to help him watch you."

With that, he reached out again to reach out to my forehead.

This soft hand, the gentle action of reaching over makes people feel a little better.

"It's still hot." He said, "I'll call you big brother." ”

He pulled his legs and walked away.

I watched him go out and put on his clothes.

I just have a little headache, the rest is nothing, my father and mother have raised my body very well since I was a child, I am afraid that last night it was some mountain wind, only a little uncomfortable.

In the next morning, Li Yu will accompany me on the swing.

I pointed to his clothes in disgust: "I don't dare let you push." I turned around and got dirty, and let me pay for it. ”

The next time he came back, he changed into his usual clothes, and I took him to Tiankan to pick wild flowers and fold wicker garlands.

Li Xianling is a very casual person, often comes to the village to fish, and sees the villagers also greet them warmly. The case was handled without mercy. Later, I learned that he was Lin Shangshu's protégé, Lin Shangshu was a very principled official, and his students were all over the five lakes, so I didn't expect to meet one.

Li Yu is also like a village child when he is not wearing brocade clothes. And after getting acquainted with us, it's even crazier than we are.

I often take him to the hillside to watch the sunset, he has read a lot of books, and he is not as wordy as his eldest brother, and he can understand a lot of things that I say without a head.

We grew friends.

Li County Commander served two consecutive terms as county commander locally, and then transferred to Huizhou to serve as governor. On the day of departure, we all went to see him off, Li Yu took me to the courtyard under the grape trellis, and said, "When you grow up, if I come to marry you, will you marry me?" It could be seen that he was very anxious about this, because his face turned purple when he blurted out.

I shook my head, "But I don't want to leave here. ”

His face turned purple, and then turned pale again, and sweat ran down his forehead.

"As long as I don't go out of the Jiangnan range, I can also consider it." I shrugged and said.

The Li family is a scholarly family, and he will definitely take a career in the future, and if he is motivated, it is possible to be appointed as a Beijing official. But I don't want to go to Beijing, and I don't want to go to Beijing for the rest of my life.

He was stunned for a moment, then jumped to his feet, hurriedly removed the golden lock from his neck and gave it to me, and ran away.

I accepted his gift peacefully, not caring if a man or a woman would kiss or not, but I didn't take this agreement too seriously.

I've learned not to put my hopes in others.

In this life, all I want is a happy and ordinary life, and if I have obsessions, I won't be happy.

……

Five years later, Li Yu married me as a Suzhou silk merchant, and he took over the family affairs without scientific research.

We gave birth to two sons and two daughters, there were no concubines at home, and I had no twists and turns in my life, and I had never been out of Jiangnan.

―――――― (To be continued.) )