At that time, Yuehua had just entered the palace, she was young, she didn't know how to survive in the palace, she didn't talk and do things like she does now, she occasionally made mistakes when she didn't do things well at that time, and she was also timid and cowardly and was bullied. At that time, he was only eleven or twelve years old, and he was still young, although he was not as simple and ignorant as Si'er, he was a little shrewd, a little calculating, and he was still a child in his bones.

The palace is a melting pot, there are everyone in it, there are not so many right and wrong, good and evil.

The palace maids of Wei are lifelong, which is the same as the eunuchs, unless the emperor is kind enough to let the palace maids go back, the palace maids have to stay in the palace for the rest of their lives, and when they are old, they will be pulled to the palace people and cremated when they die.

The people in the palace are very indifferent, everyone is behind closed doors to live their own lives, Yuehua has been in the palace for a year or two, and even the people in her own palace can't be recognized, even if she stays in the palace for four years and goes out of the palace, really speaking, except for Qiu Yan Yuehua does not have a close friend in the boudoir, Qiu Yan is the master and a friend, really speaking, Yuehua did not make a girlfriend, but went out of the palace to make four children, it is actually very sad to say it.

It's not Yuehua alone, it's everyone in the palace.

The deep palace is lonely, and many palace maids find eunuchs to eat because of loneliness, and even low-level concubines who are not favored also secretly pair up with the eunuchs in their palace. The palace is full of food, and the emperor can't control it.

The deep palace is lonely, helpless, and two lonely people live together with each other, and there is nothing wrong with not affecting the other.

Yuehua entered the palace at the age of eleven, because Yuehua developed early, was tall, and the menstrual affairs came early, and her breasts developed very early, and at the age of eleven or twelve, she was like fourteen or fifteen years old.

Yuehua is beautiful, with big eyes, goose egg face, upturned nose, cherry mouth, small dimples, sweet smile, pleasant voice, at that time, I didn't worship Aunt Qiuyan, but she was a little palace maid, young and had no status, many little eunuchs in the palace took a fancy to these and beat Yuehua's attention, and wanted to turn around to make the right food.

The palace maids in the palace can't go out of the palace, but the eunuchs can occasionally go out, and those eunuchs often bring some rouge gouache to Yuehua in order to hook up with Yuehua, velvet flower head oil and the like. Besides, Yuehua is still beautiful, and she can dress herself, she used to have no clothes to wear, but now she has the fat powder head oil and velvet hairpin that the eunuch gave her, and she is a little beautiful woman who is smart when she dresses up a little, and everyone looks at her when she walks on the road, how not to love it!

Yuehua used to live in the kidnapper's house, not to mention the rouge head oil, the kidnapper's wife is reluctant to put oil in cooking, and she can't wait to scrape a layer of skin on their bodies on weekdays, her previous clothes are all old clothes that people don't want, and she wears them on her body when she sews and changes them, and the clothes are either patches or holes, and she has never worn a decent dress.

She grew up to eleven or twelve, where did anyone buy her these things! Yuehua was young and ignorant at that time, thinking that eunuchs were not men, Yuehua had just entered the palace, and she didn't even know what food was, and the eunuchs who coaxed her were all good people, and she almost didn't know what other people's food was.

In fact, she is not really stupid and ignorant when she is young, even if she doesn't know what the right food is, she can vaguely feel that people have ulterior motives for being good to her, but at that time, Yuehua was small, and she lived with the abductor since she was a child, and the abductor never taught her right and wrong, and she didn't understand the good and evil of human nature. She has been lonely since she was a child, no one has treated her well, no one cares about food and clothing, and she is left to fend for herself when she is sick.

After entering the palace, it was different, it was rare to be good to her one or two, and she didn't really fancy any eunuch, but at that time he felt that someone was good to him, even if he had ulterior motives, it was nothing, as long as someone gave her money to spend, buy her east and west, and listen to her talk and nag, she couldn't care so much about anything else.

This kind of thinking really corresponds to the saying: not because I really want too little, but because I should have gotten less.

At that time, although my thoughts were not right, I still felt a little sad and pitiful in retrospect.

Until she met an incident that she will never forget.

It was her twelfth birthday, in fact, she didn't know what her birthday was, she was only five years old when she was abducted, where did she remember her birthday, she took the day she was abducted as her birthday. In fact, after that time, she didn't want to celebrate Raushzi's birthday at all, but because someone gave her a gift on her birthday, she deliberately celebrated this birthday for this little cheapness.

On the day of "birthday", a diligent little eunuch who had been dedicated to her for a long time asked her out in private, and said that he had brought her good things, and the two made an appointment to meet in the lotus pond behind the imperial study.

Although Yuehua was a little poor when she was a child, she liked money, loved beauty, was greedy for vanity, and loved to be cheap, but in fact, she didn't have any side shortcomings. She is diligent, quick hands and feet, neat in doing things, not squeamish, when she encounters people with different living habits in daily life, she mostly takes the initiative to accommodate others, usually the master is willing to suffer a little loss, give people a little help, easy-going personality and do not care.

The eunuch can't live in the palace, he has to leave before the spoon, Yuehua took care of the eunuch, afraid that he wouldn't be able to get out of the palace in time, so he specially arrived at the meeting place two quarters of an hour in advance, thinking that the two of them would quickly finish talking and send people out.

I didn't expect the eunuch to arrive early, and brought a eunuch over, the lotus pond was empty and there was no light at night, it was dark, Yuehua arrived early and stood under the willow tree on the shore, the two people arrived a quarter of an hour later than her, and the two estimated that Yuehua had not yet come and I whispered together.

"You kid can do it too, the freshest flower in the imperial study was really deceived by your kid."

"What is this, I tell you, this girl is stupid! As soon as I got it, I bought a little rouge gouache or something, and I coaxed her into obedience for less than a few taels of silver. The eunuch said: "Our life is gone, we can't be like men, it's okay to touch and kiss, and I don't know what it's like to touch such a beautiful girl in your hands." ”

"Let me tell you, that girl is still young, I'm afraid I don't know that you have such an idea, and I guess I won't be happy later, this is to be careful in the palace to provoke people, and then you won't be able to eat and walk around."

"This girl has a soft temper, look at it! I can be coaxed by two kind words, and when the time comes, I don't just want to do what I want. Besides, she's really unhappy, I can't cure a woman as a man, I can't cure it, isn't there still you! I'll give you a touch when I get my hands on it. ”

Yuehua heard the five thunders, and suddenly remembered something, watching the two people in the dark, and did not appear until the palace spoon was released.

The eunuch probably thought that I had missed her appointment, and left with a scolding scold.

At that time, she was timid, and she only dared to stand alone under the willow tree and cry, crying that she was blind, and after crying, she felt that she was a little bit of a nest, and she didn't go out to slap someone's ear, but later in retrospect, if she really jumped out at that time, this matter would have started. Even if she didn't take the initiative to hook up with others, women still suffered in terms of men and women, and it was a big crime in the palace for her to hook up with eunuchs in private, and maybe she would have to be dragged to Xin Zheku to be a palace slave! I was grateful that I had been cowardly for a moment.

Sometimes it's not a big mistake that makes you unrecoverable, it's often just a thought.

Yuehua only understood that people's hearts are actually very complicated after this incident, some people are good to you does not mean that they have good intentions, most of them have bad intentions, they can't be cheap, you are greedy for others, you often have to double the cheapness of others.

In the final analysis, people dare to beat their own ideas like this because they are not strong enough, not strong enough, and they have nothing, so they will be blinded by a little thing.

Looking back, thanks to the fact that she was only eleven or twelve years old at that time, her personality had not yet been finalized, and she was just fascinated for a while.

After waking up, from then on, in order not to be remembered and bullied, she had more choices, learned to be strong, learned to strive for the top, planned herself, and planned for the future. Got Qiu Yan's appreciation, worshiped Qiu Yan as an aunt, Qiu Yan called her rules, taught her to behave in the world, she had her own small foothold in the palace, knew how to distinguish between right and wrong, and slowly became more atmospheric when she spoke and did things, and no longer bent her waist for those small profits.

The people in the palace are precocious, and after another year or two, many palace maids around her who are about the same age as her will have food on the other.

There are benefits to eating on food, and the little palace maid can find a big eunuch to do food to protect herself, and the best friends in the palace are unreliable. It is not uncommon for apprentices to betray their masters, and it is not uncommon for masters to betray apprentices, and only the relationship between food and food, which cannot be humane to outsiders, is the closest.

The struggle in the deep palace is cruel, life is miserable, and Yuehua sometimes thinks about finding a reliable eunuch to work with when she is tired, which is better than fighting alone for a lifetime. Moreover, find a reliable eunuch to accompany you, someone will talk to you, listen to your own nagging, someone will accompany you when you are old, and someone will put incense on the pillar for you when you die.

Sometimes I feel that I really want to find a man who is not a man to live for the rest of my life, she is only a teenager, and the road ahead is still very long, so I really fold it into it like this for the rest of my life!?

Until you can get out of the palace.

The palace is a place where there is no hope, even if she is a big female official like Qiu Yan, she will be sent out when she is old, and she will be cremated like a palace person when she is old. It's different when you leave the palace, even if it's still bitter, but there is another possibility of living.

She is a forward-looking person, she hopes to forget all the past things and go out of the palace to find a good future for herself.