"I" is called Lin Shan, a dead person, yes, the real me is dying-at this moment there is a door in front of me, a crimson wooden door standing alone in the air. The other "I" told me that this door was called the "Death Gate", and she was the one who pushed me in. I knew I had to step back before she left, or I would die......

I don't know when it all began, but it may have started at a very young age.

At that time, I was only three or four years old, and I lived with my grandmother in Hongxi Village. There is a custom in that area: when a family has a loved one dies, they will hang a copper bell under the eaves of their house, and it will generally be hung for three years and five years. When the wind blows the bell, it means that the deceased has come home to convey his feelings and thoughts to the living.

At that time, my grandfather had passed away for three years, and the copper bell had not yet been taken off, and the sound of "Jingle Bell ~ Jingle Bell ~" often accompanied me in my dreams. I don't know if it's a coincidence or because of the wind, in my vague memory, every day like Qingming Ancestor Worship, I always feel that the copper bells in the village are unusually loud.

One July evening, my grandmother led me to the edge of the field behind the village. It was very dark and dark, and there were a lot of mosquitoes on the edge of the field, so I writhed restlessly.

"Shanshan, stand here, don't move, do you hear?"

"Hmmm! Grandma, I'm sleepy......"

"Shanshan, I'll take you back to sleep in a while!"

After the grandmother finished speaking, she squatted down and took out yellow paper and a rare red candle from the basket. In the past two days, many people in the village have come to the fields with such things to burn, and there are two piles of burned ashes not far away.

"The kids were busy and couldn't come to see you, but they all remembered it, and they called in the first two days. Shanshan, her grandfather, you have to bless everyone, and those who are not sick or sick will become ......"

Grandma babbled a lot, I yawned, and mosquitoes buzzed in my ears.

A gust of night wind blew, and the sporadic sparks from the burning yellow paper flickered in the wind, which was very beautiful. At that time, I didn't know that there were "fireworks", but it seemed to me that they were as brilliant as fireworks now, and I suddenly felt spiritual. I took advantage of my grandmother's lack of attention, and walked forward with my hand to grab the "spark" in the palm of my hand. At this moment, from behind the spark, an old man with high cheekbones and a kind face walked over, he looked at me with a smile, waved his hand at me, and retreated.

"Grandpa!" I shouted unconsciously, attracting my grandmother's attention.

"Shanshan, come and kowtow to grandpa, let's go back to sleep."

"Oh." I was afraid that my grandmother would notice my little movements, so I obediently knelt down on the spot, followed my grandmother's example, put my two little hands together, and bowed to the two burning red candles. When my bare knees touched the still warm earth, I couldn't help but pout, but fortunately, my grandmother did take me home to sleep.

In the mosquito net, my grandmother fanned me with a puff fan in one hand and touched my little belly with the other, which is my little habit before going to bed.

"Who was Grandpa just now?"

Grandma didn't realize that I was asking about the old man I had just seen, but just replied, "Grandpa is your father's father, and he went far, far away......"

"And when will he be back?"

"He came back to see us when the brass bell rang" said, grandma's eyes were a little moist, I didn't understand why they were wet, but I saw that grandma was about to cry, so I didn't make a sound, and soon, I fell asleep.

"Lin Shan, say goodbye to grandma, let's come to see grandma in the summer......"

When I was seven years old, I followed my parents to N City to attend elementary school. After that, I went back three times during the summer vacation, and after the last college entrance examination, I stayed at my grandmother's house for ten days and was sick for a week.

It was the evening of the second day back, and I was returning home from dinner at my cousin's house, and on the way I met an acquaintance who was sitting on the edge of a vegetable patch. It's said that it's an acquaintance, it's relative to my grandmother, after all, I've only come back once in many years. His house is at the back of his grandmother's house, separated by a few plots of land, and he usually shouts at the top of his throat when he has something, and I have met with him in the morning.

"Sixth uncle, it's getting dark, why haven't you come home yet?"

When the sixth uncle turned his face to look at me, he somehow startled me, his complexion was quite bad, his eyes were blank, he saw that it was me, and replied: "It's Shanshan, alas, I'm old, my body is not good, I'll sit and rest!" ”

"Oh!" I answered, thinking that it was getting dark, and my grandmother would be worried when I went back late, so I left first.

When I got home, my grandmother was sitting in the courtyard to enjoy the shade, and I walked into the kitchen with the bag and beckoned, "Grandma, I put the bamboo shoots that my cousin asked me to bring back, and I put them on the shelf." ”

"Hmm......" Grandma sighed suddenly, looking worried.

I hurriedly walked over, sat down on a small stool next to her, and asked, "What's wrong?" Isn't it uncomfortable? ”

Grandma was silent for a long time before she spoke: "Why do you say that this heaven is so short-sighted, good person, if you say no, it will be gone...... Poor orphans and widows in the future......"

I was confused: "What's wrong?" Who's in trouble? ”

"Alas......" Grandma sighed heavily again and said, "It's just your sixth uncle...... The good ones fell to the ground, and the people were gone......"

As soon as the words fell, a thunderbolt was lit in my head, and I grabbed my grandmother's hand and asked, "Who did you just say?" Who's gone? Be...... Is it dead? When? ”

"Just our dad behind the house...... In the afternoon, someone passed by his field and found it, and he did evil! ”

"Grandma...... I just ...... "on a hot day, I unconsciously trembled, and the words "I've seen him" seemed to be locked in my throat and couldn't come out.

Grandma noticed my abnormality, touched my face, and felt distressed: "Shanshan, are you scared?" …… Alas, look at me, why do you talk to your children about this......"

That night I fell asleep in a daze, and this sleep had a high fever and lay groggy for several days. During this period, there were old people singing the mountain songs at the funeral, accompanied by suona gongs and drums, floating into my mind, deeply stimulating my sensory nerves, nightmares, and when I returned to normal bed activities, it was already five or six days later.

"Grandma, I told my classmates that I wanted to go out to play, and I would go back tomorrow, and I would come back later!"

"Be careful with your body when you go out to play! Behold, you have been sick for days, and you have lost weight...... It's all my fault that I didn't take good care of you......" Grandma looked at me with a guilty face, and a pair of boring hands held my hand tightly.

I felt a little sad in my heart, but I smiled and said, "Grandma, people can't wait to lose weight during the summer vacation!" It's been hard for you these days, and you've been taking care of me...... "I leaned on my grandmother's arms coquettishly, feeling the stability brought to me by my thin body, and I told myself that I had to forget about "those things" and never mentioned them.