On this day, Xia Wei was on the night shift, and there was a pregnant woman in the class, and her blood pressure was as high as 180/110 mm Hg when she was admitted to the hospital, she was a multiparous woman, and she had entered the second stage of labor, and it was definitely too late to transfer to the hospital, Xia Wei had to give her intravenous intravenous blood pressure medication, and she saw her head up in less than half an hour after being admitted to the hospital, Xia Wei instructed the nurse on duty to measure her blood pressure again, and the blood pressure was still very high.

Soon after, the fetus was successfully delivered, and after 10 minutes, the placenta was delivered spontaneously and the placenta was checked to be intact. At this time, ** began to bleed profusely, Xia Wei immediately checked the fundus and found that the foundation had reached level, so she opened the catheterization bag and gave catheterization, and the bleeding was still there. Oxytocin intravenous bolus was given again, and there was no laceration to the perineum, and then the cervix was checked by hand, and the cervix was not damaged, so she gave a bimanual massage**, the massage lasted for about half an hour, and the bleeding finally decreased, and Xia Wei exhaled a long breath.

After dealing with the mother, it was already slightly bright, Xia Wei went to the duty room to lie down, and fell asleep after a while, but was awakened by a nightmare.

In the dream, Xia Wei dreamed again about the child who died prematurely some time ago. This is not the first time she has had such a dream, she does not dare to close her eyes, as long as she closes her eyes, she will see the child shaking in front of her eyes. She simply didn't sleep, turned on the light, and remembered the past.

The past is vivid, that day, Xia Wei was cooking dinner at home, and suddenly the internal phone at home rang, it was a call from the nurse's station, asking her to help the obstetrician who worked the night shift. Xia Wei put down the phone and couldn't care about the dishes being cooked in the pot, she immediately turned off the fire on the gas stove, and trotted all the way to the obstetrics and gynecology department, only to see that the office was empty, and there was a sound in the obstetric ward, so she pushed open the door of the ward, and saw that the obstetrician on the night shift was preparing to deliver the baby.

"What's going on?" Xia Wei eagerly asked the doctor on duty, and the doctor on duty replied while laying a sterile birth pad: "It is a woman with threatened miscarriage, I gave her an intravenous infusion of medicine to relieve uterine contractions, but her contractions are still not controlled, but the contractions are more intense, it seems that it is too late to go to the delivery room, and she can only prepare to deliver on the hospital bed, so I will ask the nurse to ask you to come and help." ”

"Okay, quick, the fetus's feet have been seen, is it a breech?" Xia Wei helped prepare the delivery supplies while observing the mother's perineum.

"Yes, it's breech, it's 26 weeks and four days pregnant, and the doctor on duty is already protecting the mother's perineum with his hand while talking.

"Quickly plug it, let the ** expand and adapt well, and check whether the lower uterine mouth is fully opened." Xia Wei helped prepare the equipment and reminded the doctor on duty. Xia Wei said to the nurse on duty again: "Quickly change the intravenous infusion, change the balance solution to 500 ml, don't add any medicine first, and take 10 units of oxytocin for later use." ”

"The palace mouth is completely open." As he spoke, the doctor on duty held the fetus's lower limbs with both hands and rotated, but the fetus's head was still not delivered.

"Slow down, down-up--down again, and slowly assist the baby's head to be delivered in this order." Xia Wei reminded the young obstetrician. Suddenly, the doctor on duty pulled out a hand and stretched out to the mother's **, Xia Wei didn't have time to stop it, the fetus had been delivered, only to see a finger of the midwife doctor was still in the baby's mouth, at the moment when the fetus was delivered, Xia Wei and the doctor on duty found a long wound at the corner of the newborn's mouth at the same time, they looked at each other for a few seconds, and the doctor who delivered the baby immediately covered the newborn's face with gauze, and said to the family: "The child is too young and has no ability to survive, give up." The family reluctantly said, "Okay." Then he slumped on a bed next to him.

Xia Wei watched the newborn's limbs dance, her heart kept rolling, and she wanted to stop such behavior. She knew that if the newborn was transferred to a pediatric department, he might survive in an incubator, but if she told the family that if they found a wound on the corner of the newborn's mouth, it would have an immeasurable negative impact on both the doctor and the unit who delivered the baby and the company. She stared into the midwife's eyes with a sharp gaze and pleaded with her eyes: Save this child! She hoped that the midwife would take care of the matter himself, but the midwife stopped her request with a look in his eyes. Xia Wei was conflicted in her heart for a long time, and after thinking about it again, she finally endured it.

After a while, there seemed to be no harm in this matter, but Xia Wei knew that if the child hadn't been torn at the corner of the newborn's mouth due to the doctor's wrong delivery method, the child could have been sent to the intensive care unit of a higher-level hospital for treatment, and the lovely child might have survived. She hated herself for not being principled, only caring about the reputation of her colleagues and the unit, helping to hide the facts, and seeing a baby boy who had a chance of survival die.

Xia Wei spent some days in this kind of self-blame, and suddenly one day, she had a dream in which she dreamed that the dead child was holding a bowl in her hand and asking for food for her. Xia Wei, who woke up from the nightmare, could no longer sleep, she only had to close her eyes to see the poor child, those expectant eyes. That night, Xia Wei spent the night in terror, and spent many days like this.

She told her mother-in-law, who lived with her, a Christian, the only daughter of a landlord before the liberation, about the dream and about the child, so she also went to school, read the Bible and read many other books, and was a good person who knew everything. When she heard Xia Wei's sleepless night of blaming herself for this, she told Xia Wei: "That's not your fault, it's the doctor's fault, you just didn't treat others fairly." Besides, the child is so young, and he may not be able to survive, but that little Geng doctor should not have injured the corner of the child's mouth and not give the child a chance to be treated. Did you know that in Christianity there are no ghosts in the world, you are a good person, a person with a conscience, and God will bless you? ”

Under the guidance of her mother-in-law, Xia Wei was really not afraid, and there was never such a scene in the night after that. She is very grateful for her mother-in-law's understanding, as long as she has something unpleasant, she will tell her mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law can resolve it, she feels that talking to her mother-in-law has a feeling of sudden enlightenment, and the days with her mother-in-law feel that nothing is a problem, and Xia Wei is also very respectful and filial to her mother-in-law.

In the following days, Xia Wei lost her in-laws one after another, as well as her most respected grandparents in her life, her life suddenly lost its focus, her daughter also went to school in other places at this time, and Xiao Lu had nothing to say all day long, and the boredom in her heart was no longer resolved, and life was as difficult as going to prison.