Wedge: Preface to youth, write about the future we want

I had just gotten out of bed when I wrote this, my face still unwashed and my teeth unbrushed.

This is a more literary name, at least I think it is more literary, generally the person who can write this name is considered a literary youth, although the word youth is a little far away from me.

Light a cigarette and let me think, well, let me think about what youth is, was it put into a picture frame, or engraved on a desk, or written in an old book and sold to someone else? I forgot, all in all, it's not in my hands right now.

Youth is 16 years old, I was in the third year of junior high school, I didn't know what college was at that time, in the era of provincial and tyrannical cities, high school was still a new term for me, I even thought that after graduating from junior high school, I could go into the society to earn those fancy things, but at that time a sentence from the physics teacher pushed open a door for me, he said: "You young men are smart and smart, you should all be admitted to high school, and then go to college." ”

Wait, what is high school? What is college, and can you eat that thing? Tube not full?

I got my wish and was admitted to high school.

No. 1 Middle School, that was a very awesome word in that youthful era, it was an institution with the highest admission rate, and it was a hall that could only be entered after thousands of battles, and I felt that I was broken.

When I packed up my salute and walked into the banyan tree-strewn wall, I knew that my youth was 17 years old.

Three years of time flowed like water, I had the first time to live in school, the first time to train in the military, the first time to fight with the teacher, and, the first time to be heartbeat, in that dusk that is always dyed red by the sunset, in the early morning when the light rain is wet, I like to look at the beautiful figure at the back of the crowd, whether it is morning, afternoon, or evening.

She looks like I like to see the most, I love to see her laughing, crying, or frowning when she gets angry, I am next to her, we grow together, non-stop growth, unfazed, just like the banyan tree that grows on the side of the road through the moon gate, according to the season, according to the law, the spring spit buds, I like her, the summer blooms, she also likes me.

Love and like are two words, but also two states, youth think that all likes are love, but with the change of the years I found that those are two different things, we were like at the beginning, then still like, later later, is love, very lucky, I did not encounter the bloody bridge, in the end we still came together, now she is sitting next to me, quietly watching me write, and then tell me which word is written wrong, to change.

Three years is a long time, that's what I thought when I first entered school, three years is a short time, that's what I thought when I graduated, our high school started in an endless daze, and then ended in a full of longing, and before I even entered that tower, I began to miss the pen writing on the table, the half-wiped blackboard, and the key to the classroom that I got up in the middle of the night, they said it was a disease, but it was not curable.

I thought I would never forget this time in my life, but then I realized that it was just, I thought.

When I entered college, my youth began at the age of 19.

It was the same campus I had imagined, with a large school gate, a large playground, a tall dormitory building, and a very wide lecture hall that I had encountered for the first time.

I really let go of my youth there, I began to learn to drink, smoke, and many of my own firsts, the first time I bought a BB machine, bought a mobile phone, the first time I organized a New Year's Day party, organized a spring outing, organized a hometown association, joined the student union for the first time, ran for the chairman, learned guitar, harmonica, participated in a singer competition for the first time, then fought with social people, watched a football game all night for the first time, and then drank all the beer I bought, threw the empty bottle from the roof of the dormitory, and fell to the ground with a crackling sound.

There are some things I have already thought of, such as the gray-haired teachers in the university, the tables and chairs engraved with the vows of the mountains and the sea, the gardens frequented by the legendary couples, the condoms everywhere, the crowded hot water rooms, the restaurants specially prepared for ethnic minorities, but there are some things that I have never imagined, such as guns, bullets, drugs, and even the poor beauties.

(I don't know if I will be seen by the teachers and classmates of my alma mater, I don't mean anything else, I love my university, these are just my imaginations, okay, imagination!) ）

It's my assumption, I think so, some pictures are just in your imagination, not like this in reality, there will be scumbags in college, there will be dinosaurs if there are beautiful women, and there will never be those beautiful women walking everywhere in the movie, handsome guys are not as good as dogs.

In the four years of youth, I have lived wantonly, grown, have no regrets, have regrets, have been high-spirited, have been low-willed and tearful, have had good friends, and have had a good face, I thought we would always go on like this, but later I found out that friends, can only accompany you for a while, a short period.

Time is walking, we are still growing, these growth is the main theme of youth, we can't stop, we have to hurry forward, forward, can not retreat, those gratitude, moved, grateful is like the spice of cooking, in the time we don't care about by strange memories from time to time sprinkled with a handful, after many, many years, let our hearts have mixed tastes, remembering that it was too late to be sad.

When I sold the sack of books I had exchanged for a sack of money and carried my bags, I suddenly remembered the night when I first entered the school and lived in the dormitory, I was the only one, with a Walkman headset in my ears and a uniform quilt printed on it, with "Lanshang-018" printed on it, and I listened to Lu Gengxu's vicissitudes of life "Who can guarantee that the heart remains unchanged and can see the vicissitudes of life." I suddenly shed tears, I don't know why, anyway, sad this emotion hit my heart accurately, I stood at the gate of the school, looking at the school motto that had been mottled, thinking that this time I would not leave like the previous holidays, and I would return to school on time on the first of a certain month, which made my tear ducts open the gates, fortunately I didn't wipe the treasure, so as not to cry my face.

The train moved slowly, I waved my arms to say goodbye to my classmates under the car, shouting goodbye, goodbye, this word is so fucking good, I will never meet again, I listened to the sonorous voice of the iron monster, looked at the stop sign that came and went countless times - Lanzhou, resolutely turned around, put down my arms, so I let go of all my past, together with my youth, I know, my youth is here, so good, just here.

Today, I sat next to the computer, thinking about these youths, typing these words, watching the curling smoke rise in the spacious and bright room, forming a strange pattern, and then dispersed, and suddenly I felt that if I were asked to go back again, no matter what method I used, what would it be like to go back and live my youth again? Is the picture still the same or is it unrecognizable?

I don't have such a good memory, I write down all the earth-shattering events that happened in my youth, I write down the numbers of those lotteries, I write down the local leaders of each term, I met them before they started, I am just me, the only difference from that time, only an old soul and a stronger heart, can I make my youth as gorgeous as a flower? I tried to make it up, I wasn't prepared to make it earth-shattering, I just wanted to make up for the regrets that I couldn't make up for when I was still in my youth, and let the people I often think of in my midnight dreams be better, so that all the people who read this book can see the shadow of their youthful faces, and then laugh and cry, and when I turn off the computer, I will sigh and say, "This kid, it's okay to make up." ”

Well, that's all, that's all.

That's why I wrote this book, and maybe that will change, who knows?

In the prime of life or youth, you can find your own shadow in the book, which is a very interesting thing.

With words, in memory of mine, ours, youth.