Self-ordering

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I was born into a family of theatre and my parents were both national theatre actors.

When I was a child, I liked acting and imitation very much, probably because I often followed my parents backstage in the theater, so I was more interested in acting, although I was only four or five years old at that time, but I was naughty, sometimes when the adults were not paying attention, I would sneak to the backstage costume mirror, and smear my little face with oil paint like a little cat. Seeing all the things I like about theater, my parents felt that they couldn't go on like this, because my father didn't want me to go down the path of acting, and they didn't want me to go through the hardships again. In other words, they just don't want me to follow their old path.

My father hoped that I would study hard in the future, and when I grew up, I would become a knowledgeable and educated person, and I would no longer be like them. What's more, the future of the actor's path is also very slim, either you have to be famous, or you can only work in obscurity for a lifetime, and you will never come out.

So, when I was six years old, my parents sent me to my grandparents' house to raise me. Although this kind of separation is also helpless, it has caused me to be estranged from my parents.

When I was about to start preschool, I had to pass a three-question arithmetic test before I could be admitted. Other children can pass the test smoothly because of the teaching of their parents. However, because I didn't have my parents around, preschool education was a blank slate. Of the three arithmetic questions, I only got one correct, and that was what I overheard from the mother of a child in the same house. Although there was a little boy who desperately reminded me of the answers to each question when answering the questions, I was very stubborn since I was a child, and I never trusted strangers easily, I only answered what I knew, and I didn't like to be opportunistic.

Later, my grandfather and teacher explained that my parents were not around, and the school agreed to admit me.

Since then, I have been really envious when I see other children with their parents coming to pick them up. And I was always alone. Even so, I can only look at other people's happy childhoods, and my young heart is really hurt. Over time, my temperament has changed dramatically, from a lively and active little girl to a more autistic and withdrawn child. It also affected my whole childhood, other people's childhoods were full of color and joy; My childhood, on the other hand, was gray, blank, and unhappy, and I never wanted to mention it in my memory, because my childhood left me with only pain and hurt, and nothing worth recalling.

When I was 12 years old, my mother reluctantly returned to us in order to live with my brother and me. Maybe it's been too long, so my parents are very strange to me. Although my mother doted on me in order to make up for my lack of affection, and did not let me do any housework at home, these were not what I needed. In my childhood, my parents were not involved, and the best growing time of my life was missed, and I could never make it back. Therefore, I advise young parents not to miss out on the important time you spend with your children, those who are only once in a lifetime, and missing them can only be a permanent regret......

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