Youth is a memoir, plastered with the traces of time, touching the traces of time, more than the mottled dust in the hands, more than the hazy mist in the eyes, wet on the lenses.

The rain beats against the rain shield in front of the window, striking a chaotic music, and the street lamps exude a misty dusk in the endless rain. The gray pattern on the panel of the QQ who opened the notebook was finally replaced by a colorful cartoon, and a tight line in his heart trembled slightly at that moment, and his fingers clicked on the icon with a slight tremble.

"Rui, are you there, how are you doing?" Give yourself the worst possible with the mentality of trying, and wait for her to reply. She, my first love was also a primary school classmate, but it has always been difficult to express the love in my heart, and she has been hidden in the depths of her heart and locked with thousands of locks.

"Not bad." A few simple words shook my heart, and I didn't know what she was doing on the other side.

"Do you have time to go to the book house tomorrow? I haven't been there yet. "Secretly start planning, and implement it like a cocoon, and execute it towards your own plan.

"Yes, yes, I haven't been there either." Is it really necessary to be unexpectedly refreshing? The rainy night depicts the neon lights in the distance more blurry and ghostly, and the beauty of seeing flowers in the fog is faintly revealed, and my thoughts gradually intertwine and decide.

"Great, call when you go."

"Well" unexpectedly smoothed me intoxicated.

"Rui, do you have someone you like?" Carefully tempt and prepare for tomorrow.

"No, how."

"Oh, can I hold your hand?" I gradually became unscrupulous, and even I said things that I didn't expect, but it was my heart.

"Uh, no." It's still that cold tone, no extra words.

"Okay then, what about hugs?" I "shamelessly" pressed the send button.

"No, I have a boyfriend!"

"You misunderstood, just because you don't like it doesn't mean you can't be a boyfriend."

The eye-catching exclamation mark continued to amplify and magnify in his mind, turning into a jack-like giant hammer mercilessly striking on the self-confidence that had been unexpectedly inflated, and the fingers that were still flexible just now could only swing in mid-air at a loss, not knowing which letter to tap on, and continuing the awkward dialogue. Experiencing the excitement of this "roller coaster", my heart seemed to skip a beat, and the plan was forever extinguished in the change, and there were insignificant ripples in the great river of reality.

"Okay then."

"Well, is there anything else?" It's still a tone of thousands of miles away, what do I like about her.

"Actually, to be honest, I've been liking you since middle school, but I've always been afraid to get close to you and communicate with you. I'm stupid, I have dreamed of being with you, making unrealistic dreams, I hold your hand in different backgrounds, when I graduated from junior high school, I knew that you were no longer going to school here, I was very hesitant, even at a loss, I started to try to communicate with you more when I came back from Singapore on a leave of absence, but you didn't react, and finally I saw you again at the math tutor, I sat across from you with a cheeky face, because I wanted to see you more, I plucked up the courage to walk with you after class many times, Come to a real confession but every time you part ways or you leave first, just now I heard that you didn't like it and I was quite excited to think that I still have a chance, and now my mood is beginning to fluctuate again, Rui, to be honest, I like you, you are the first person I like, I originally wanted to say it in person, but now I don't know what it is...... Maybe we will never see each other again after graduating from high school" I was so distressed that I was like a knife, crystal tears, like pearls with broken threads, rolling down my cheeks, and the moisture wet on the lenses, blurring my realization, enduring the pain, my fingers groped for this on the keyboard, and typed down the most sincere words in my heart.

"I'm glad someone likes me."

"I'm a conservative person, I just like to hide my feelings in my heart, I don't want to express them, I've been passive, but I have accumulated a lot of inside, so I want to realize it, and I waited for 4 or 5 years to hide all my feelings alone, no one knows, and a person silently enjoys this feeling. Rui, can I take you over now? ”

"Oh, don't do this, why should I have to share it with him, I'm sorry I don't like you, you don't have to wait. We're still friends, let's hug one. ”

"Well, it's that I've imagined it so perfectly, I created a dream by myself, and only you and I are the protagonists, and the deeper and deeper you get."

"Well, we're still friends, aren't we?"

"I have to say that nonsense to wish you happiness, just be happy." I grew incoherent, and the keyboard clanged. ”

"Don't look like this, aren't you kidding?"

"What, it turns out that you understand it like this, I sincerely express my love, are you so contemptuous of trampling? Is it a joke to like you? ”

"Uh-uh, that's not the case, why are you so unreasonable, I don't understand when I see you sad to give you the stairs. Since you're so impulsive and so good, we don't have anything to talk about. ”

The colorful pattern has been reduced to a lifeless gray again, and time is still passing by the fingertips, leaving behind the dialogue that is too late to react, am I wrong, no, I am too self-righteous, "Why!! Suddenly I closed the notebook, and the rain outside the window seemed to be heavy again, accompanied by the whistling wind, as if I was laughing at me, a poor fool who was played with and abandoned. At this moment, a bolt of lightning cut through the dark night like a silver snake and disappeared silently in the sky. Looking at the sky, that moment of splendor reflected the heavy clouds, the air during the rain is always so oppressive, not to mention the current me, as if even the air is suffocating, even if I try to sniff greedily, it is difficult to disintegrate the bitterness in my heart, tears began to seem so uncontentious, I told myself that nothing happened, the dream is still the dream, the person I love is just asleep and she has not woken up.

In the dark corner of the study, I looked carefully, and found that the luminosity of that area was not very uniform under the reflection of the light, like a transparent but wrinkled curtain hanging in front of me, gradually, the bright light of that piece began to converge, compress, condense, and finally turned into a thin black-robed man, very tall, but looking at the robe hanging down, it must be a thin person, the finger joints are thin and long like long bamboos exposed, Then he bowed down reverently and respectfully to the young man who had just escaped from his sorrow: "Lord, less. The hoarse voice spread through the humid air, which seemed calm and measured, but it seemed a little abrupt.

"Who made you appear now?" At this time, the young man's face was not surprised and frightened, but more of a calm that was not surprised or strange, although he was much more awake at this time, his voice was still choked and trembling, and he was wrapped in anger and burst in the air.

"The Lord is less, please forgive the sin, it's me who is wrong, but after receiving a letter from the family, I must return to the family the day after tomorrow, the situation has changed, the Lord is less." The unexpectedly black-robed man was so frightened that he trembled and almost knelt down in submission.

"Okay, Johnson is impulsive, you don't have to blame yourself like that, family, the family that belongs to me? Am I really going to be separated from 'Daddy' and 'Mom'? The boy's tone seemed old-fashioned, and there was a chill like ice, which made people shudder, but when he looked at the family portrait in front of the desk, his gaze immediately softened, and a faint smile appeared on Junyi's face, which did not remind people of the coldness just now.

"But the Lord is ...... less"

"Okay, you should retreat first, otherwise my parents will be suspicious."

"Lord Shao, after all, this is not your biological parents, you have to think clearly, you are not a real human being, you are a noble king." Although the voice was suppressed, the endless admiration could still be heard, and it lingered in the silent ears for a long time......