Looking at your back quietly, you haven't looked back for me once!

After a day of intenseness, I finally couldn't help the delicate mood in my heart. I clearly know that I can't hide from this matter, and I need to face this unknown result. Even if it is a failure, even if it is rejected, it can only be admitted. I can't keep worrying like this, because it will still affect my normal life and study after all.

After the evening self-study, I was almost the last person in the class to walk as usual, maintaining this good study habit. But today I'm going to face or accept an unknown answer, no matter how much it is. Everyone is almost gone in the evening self-study, Xie Yuhan still hasn't left at this time, I looked back at her, and I stopped talking, but I still put forward the thoughts in my heart, and said tremblingly: "That, that, Xie Yuhan, you read the note I left you, what do you think?" Xie Yuhan was not as nervous as me, and replied to me unhurriedly and methodically: "I saw the note you left, and I wanted to tell you this afternoon, but you ran to the toilet every class, and I didn't have the time and opportunity to tell you." "I was nervous and didn't know what she was going to say. She continued: "I took the medicine you bought me, I feel a lot better, thank you, I know you are a good person,,,。 Before she could finish speaking, I interrupted: "That's good, as long as you're better, it's okay, it's okay, no need to say thank you." After listening to me, she continued to say: "You are a good person, you have a good academic performance, and you are also very good to people, but we are still young now, and we should put all our energy into studying, and it is a bit early to fall in love, so ,,,,。 When I heard this, I said, "It's not too early to fall in love, we're both teenagers, and we can still make our own decisions about some things, I really like you." Her eyes were full of doubts, looking at me for a long time without speaking, in fact, I didn't know what she suspected of me at the time, maybe I didn't spend enough time with her, she didn't know me well enough, all the things she didn't know me very well, so she had that kind of thoughts and eyes. Time passed slowly, she saw that I didn't speak, she finally broke the silence, "We are indeed still young now, we can't be delayed by things like falling in love, I know that you are going to take the high school entrance examination, I may not be able to go to that high school at my current level, if we fall in love, and then we will be separated again, there will be a lot of things that hinder us, you know, my math is not very good,,," She said this, my heart moved again, and immediately continued: "It's okay, I can help you make up for your math, We can also study other subjects together, I can guarantee that you will score more than 100 points in mathematics under my guidance, and other subjects can also be greatly improved, I can guarantee this, you believe me. She paused, looking at my eager face, maybe she knew I wanted her to be my girlfriend, maybe she didn't, well, I don't know what she was thinking now. She continued: "This kind of problem can actually affect your learning a lot, I know that you are good at math, and you are also very good in other science subjects, and you are also one of the best in our class, but I don't want you to spend your time on me, I don't want to affect your attachment to your dreams, can you understand?" After I listened, I knew that she didn't want to, but I didn't give up, so I continued: "It won't affect my grades, my strength is very strong, you know, I also want you to be with me, when the time comes, we will be admitted to ZY high school together, and then we will be admitted to the same university, and we will get married after graduating from college,,,,,。 She listened to me say a lot, but she was never moved, and in the end there was no way, I looked at her face, something was flashing in my eyes, but I forced myself not to flow it out, my heart was still painful, I knew that it was not her fault, she didn't like me, she didn't like me at all, I couldn't help it in the end, I felt that the things in my eyes were going to squeeze out, I immediately turned around and wiped the liquid from the corner of my eyes with my hand, and sat quietly in the seat. My mind was blank, I didn't know what to think, I couldn't think of anything, it was useless to think about anything now, she, she, she didn't like me. At this time, Xie Yuhan was still sitting quietly behind me, and he didn't mean to speak. There was no one in the classroom at the moment except the two of us, and the classroom was surprisingly quiet. I felt like I could hear her breathing, even her heartbeat or something, but I forgot that I was in tears all the time and didn't want to stop. After a few minutes, I plucked up the courage to look back at her, and reluctantly said: "I have changed my mind now, I will not go to ZY High School, I will go to the same high school as you, I will do it, and I will always help you in the future until your score exceeds mine, I like you, not my impulse, I ,,,,。 I finally couldn't help it, tears dripped down, and at this time something fell from her eyes, the two of them looked at each other, quietly crying, maybe she was already tempted by me at that time, but she didn't want me to take the time to tutor her. She sobbed and said, "xxx, I know you like me very much, but now I can only study hard, wait for the high school entrance examination, and get good results, now I can't promise to be your girlfriend, I really can't agree." After saying that, she slowly got up and was about to leave, but the contents of her eyes kept falling. At this moment, I spoke, and I knew that I wouldn't ask this question again, maybe I wouldn't know how to ask next time, "Yuhan, I, you, when can you agree to be my girlfriend, I'm willing to wait, I'll wait until the day you are willing." She didn't answer my question, but simply said, "I'm going to turn off the lights soon, go back to wash and sleep first, and talk about anything then." She walked away, and I watched her slowly move out of my sight, and as she walked out of the classroom door, she wiped her tears and walked away quickly. At this moment, my heart was completely broken, I didn't know what to do tomorrow, how to face this girl I liked, how to face the girl I always regarded as a strong backing, I began to be confused. After nearly ten minutes, I collected my mood and tears, and walked slowly to the commissary. That night I didn't wash up, I went to the commissary and bought a bottle of Red Star, and began to drink it, and the 56-degree Red Star flowed down from my mouth, into my stomach, and into my heart. At that time, I was in a very bad mood, drinking Red Star was like drinking boiled water, and I couldn't drink it in a few sips, and I still left some for Mr. Peng when I returned to the dormitory. Red Star had a seizure in my stomach at night, but I didn't throw up, I kept going, and finally the next day I finally had an accident.