Today (November 1, 2015) is a special day because it is my father's anniversary. On October 13 last year (2014), my father passed away due to ineffective rescue. Perhaps, you will find it strange. Doesn't that seem like a good time? No, the timing is absolutely accurate. Because, on our side, the dates are calculated according to the lunar calendar. All along, my father's response to the seventh until the seventh day is according to the lunar calendar. Therefore, the 20th day of the ninth month of the lunar calendar has become an eternal sacrifice day for my father.

I had already made an appointment with my sister's family yesterday, so today, we got up early in the morning. I can't remember exactly how I was in the morning, but this morning, I went home with a heavy and depressed heart.

On the way from the city to his hometown, he witnessed two car accidents. It made me more aware of the impermanence of the world and the fragility of life. In an instant, my father's voice and appearance clearly appeared in my mind. However, now, my father has been separated from us forever. Thinking of this, I can't help but feel an indescribable sadness in my heart.

Along the way, I always felt that the sky was gloomy, and it seemed that God had been touched by my mood.

My brother-in-law drove the car and I sat in the front seat. It stands to reason that apart from my brother-in-law, I have the broadest vision. But until I got out of the car, apart from the scene of the two car accidents, I had no memory of the other road scenes. It seems that along the way, I have been in a trance. I don't know if it's because of sadness, or if I'm constantly reminiscing about my father's life.

When I got home and saw my mother, I came back to my senses. Overall, my mother's expression was normal, which made me feel a lot more at ease. Actually, today, my biggest worry is my mother. Because, I am afraid that my mother will be reminded of the pain in my heart again on this special day. Every time I see my mother's heartbroken appearance, I feel a sense of heartbreak.

After dealing with my father's funeral, I also used the excuse of taking care of the children to keep my mother in the city for a long time. Because, I know, there are too many shadows of my father in my hometown, so it is easy for my mother who lives here to feel the breath of my father. The so-called, seeing things and thinking about people, at that time, how could my mother not be sad? Besides, my mother is very old, and I really don't feel at ease when she is left alone in her hometown.

It's a pity that her mother can't let go of the farmland that has accompanied her for most of her life. Farmland is the lifeblood of my mother. It is no exaggeration to say that farmland is definitely more important in the mother's mind than her granddaughter. In addition, my mother, who is accustomed to rural life, feels very unaccustomed to living in a cage-like commercial house. Of course, I felt sorry for my mother, so I negotiated with my wife that if I could not bother the elderly, I would never bother her. Picking up the children and most of the housework, as long as my wife and I can find time to do it, will definitely not let my mother do it. However, in this way, the mother felt even more unaccustomed. There was no work to do, and she couldn't chat like she did in the countryside, so it didn't take long for my mother to panic. Finally, my mother clamored to go back to the farm. In my mother's words: "It's good to stay at home!" ”

Can children not consider the psychological feelings of their parents? So, I started to create opportunities for my mother to come home and stay. Later, my mother spent more and more time at home. I only come to the city for a day or two every week, or even not for several weeks. Alas, the mother has the circle of life to which the mother is accustomed. Although I was not very relieved, I couldn't bear to push her too much.

Everyone worked together (after a busy morning), and finally, the most important moment arrived. Set a table for food, put only one chair, and place a pair of chopsticks in front of the chair. These were prepared for the returning father to enjoy the food.

"Don't forget to pour your dad a glass of wine!" Mother reminded in time.

My mother's words reminded me of my father's habits when he was alive. My father's best thing was wine. smoke, quit with great perseverance; However, my father refused to quit this wine no matter what. In my father's words: "In my life, the good thing is 'tobacco and alcohol'. Cigarettes, I've quit. If I quit drinking again, then what is the point of my life? Therefore, I have the impression that my father has two meals a day, and that is absolutely untouchable. From this, it is not difficult to see that although a year has passed, my mother still remembers my father from time to time.

As soon as I was ready to stop, I found a candle and lit it. (When we worship our ancestors, we all light oil lamps.) Now, there is no need for oil lamps, so candles are used instead. This is a custom of our ancestors here. Then, habitually, I shook out the matchstick in my hand and walked to another table in the hall. The two tables were at least a dozen paces apart. After placing the matchbox on the table, I went back again. Bypass the offering table and come to the gate. I wanted to throw the matchstick out of the door, but I saw the vessel next to me that contained the yellow paper ingots (ingots folded from yellow paper), so I threw the matchstick into the vessel, which had been completely extinguished.

Indeed, at that time, I didn't want to light the yellow paper ingots, because, at the reminder of my uncle, I planned to let my father sit at the table and have a few drinks. Indeed, I paid close attention to the matchsticks that I threw into the vessel. At that time, I was 100% sure that the matchstick had been completely extinguished.

Next, I went to the kitchen and quickly brought my mother's steaming dumplings. It is said that the more hot the food offered to the ancestors, the more thoroughly the ancestors enjoyed it. However, when I came to the hall again, I was completely dumbfounded, because the yellow paper ingots in the vessel had already begun to burn. And they said, "That's because I threw a matchstick into it." However, the matchstick I remember throwing in was completely extinguished! Even with a hint of spark, it won't ignite the yellow paper ingots so quickly, right? I remember, even if I used a lit matchstick to light it, it didn't seem to be so quick to burst into flames.

Of course, at that moment, I didn't have time to figure out why the yellow paper ingots caught fire for no apparent reason. In our case, this prostration must be done when the yellow paper is lit. Therefore, I hastened to call the crowd to come and bow down. In the end, this very important worship ceremony was finally completed without any danger.

Afterwards, I always had the illusion that the yellow paper ingots were ignited by my father. Alas, is it because I've been writing about ghosts and gods these days? I, who still believe in atheism, can only explain it in this way.

After lunch and a little rest, we had to go to my father's grave in the field. My mother said that when she was sorting out her father's clothes, a suitcase was left behind, and it was full of her father's clothes. Therefore, on the occasion of the anniversary festival, they were taken to the grave and cremated. We have this custom here that when someone dies, then on the day of burial, all the clothes of the deceased must be incinerated clean.

When I opened the suitcase and saw the clothes that my father usually wore, things about my father suddenly appeared in front of me one by one. My father's voice and smile were so clear. It feels like what I saw yesterday. Until now, I can't believe that my adorable father has left us forever!

Stop up! I felt like my heart was clogged!

First, the mother was afraid that she would not be able to control her feelings and cried bitterly; Second, we are afraid that our mother will be overly sad when she goes to the field. So, in the end, the mother didn't go. It's just that my sister's family and I, as well as my eldest and second uncles, came to the grave. Father's clothes and the offerings purchased by his sister, uncle, and uncle ignited a fire at the grave. In the firelight, I vaguely saw my father's figure......

It wasn't until it was completely dark that we returned to the city again. As soon as I touched the computer, I immediately tried to write straight down! I want to write down this special day, and of course, the memory of my father will be recorded forever! Father, will be an indelible memory in my heart!