075 Thoughts in the coffin
For a long time, my whole mind was focused on myself. I'm anxious because I don't want to be in the ice coffin, I'm worried because I'm afraid I'm going to freeze to death, I'm sad because I'm going to die soon, I'm confused because I'm still conscious, I'm complacent because I've found out why I'm not frozen to death, I'm excited because I don't need to die...... So, during this time, I barely paid much attention to the outside world. Now it's different, I'm happy, so I'm starting to pay attention to the changes in the outside world.
Although separated by the ice coffin, my newly acquired special ability to track hearing is quite powerful, so not a single movement within a radius of ten meters can escape my pursuit. People are coming all the time. The son stood by the door, and whenever someone came by, he would kneel down on one knee and return the salute. Everyone who came had at least a knife of yellow paper with them, because I could clearly hear the sound of the paper touching the ground. After putting down the yellow paper, these people will "plop" on their knees, and then bow respectfully. Very few people leave as soon as they come, unless there is something urgent. Generally, those who come to pay their respects, after kneeling down, will take two steps forward. Even the slightest footsteps can be captured with great precision. I can fully imagine the expressions on those people as they stood in front of the ice coffin and saw their faces through the transparent lid.
Probably because I was in a good mood, I found that my thoughts seemed to start to become evil, a mischievous evil. If I suddenly open my eyes while those people are looking through the transparent lid of the coffin, will there be some changes in their expressions? Perhaps, their original expressions of regret, sadness, or incredulity will instantly froze, and then all of them will turn into deep fear. If you are a little less courageous, you are likely to scream on the spot. Even, some people will faint with fright. Probably, among the people who came to worship, it is not excluded that there was schadenfreude. I'd love to scare those people so much that they fainted on the spot. However, I have no control over my body at all, and I have no way of judging who has the idea of gloating, so in the end such evil ideas cannot be put into practice. Moreover, I am afraid that if one of them is scared out of a bad way, such as being scared out of a mental illness or being scared to death directly, wouldn't it be a sin? Even if it's the ones who gloat, I don't want to scare them out. Therefore, this kind of mischievous evil only plays a role in amusing oneself.
After seeing my "remains", those people usually find a place to sit down and chat with someone they know more well.
"Alas, I really didn't expect that he, who has always been so healthy, would go so soon!" Many people will sigh so much.
"Who's to say it isn't? Even now, I don't believe it. Alas, this person is just fragile, and when he says that he is gone, he will be gone...... and even more will sigh from what happened to me that life is impermanent.
"However, it seems that so-and-so (the name of my nickname) has a good face, as if he is asleep." Some wise people felt that such an exclamation was obviously inappropriate at this sad moment, so they interacted and changed the subject.
"Well, I can also lift, it seems that so-and-so (the pronoun of my nickname) should walk very peacefully!" I just sighed, and I also noticed that something was wrong under the reminder of others, so I followed the words of others very familiarly.
At that time, my wife was standing next to the guests who came in droves, and although she was a little busy, her attention was still attracted by such talk. "You're right, so-and-so (my nickname) walked very peacefully. Before he left, he said more than once that his children are filial, and those who use money use money and contribute their efforts, so what is there to dissatisfaction with? Actually, not only us, but even so-and-so (my nickname) didn't expect to go so fast. Alas, with his eyes closed for three days and three nights, he really couldn't support it...... But something happened when I fell asleep...... No matter how much you try to save it, you can't save it......" As she spoke, her wife's voice choked up.
When the people saw this, they hurriedly spoke of consolation.
Actually, what my wife said was right, and the children were really too good to say to themselves. I also remember my own words at the time, "Even if I close my eyes now, I will be blind!" "Those were angry words that came when the pain in my body was too much to bear. At that time, I really wished that I would die right away, so that I would have to endure the endless pain constantly. However, what they said, including their wives, was all wrong. It's not like I'm asleep, I'm really "sleeping" all the time. In my opinion, this is a complete loss of contact with the body, isn't it like falling asleep? When I wake up, I'm still alive? Therefore, it is not at all possible to say that I "walked peacefully". I haven't "left" yet! Unlike others, I'm not really "dead", so can I not be detailed? Of course, at the moment, I can only refute them in my heart.
It's okay if everyone doesn't persuade him, but this persuasion arouses the pain in his wife's heart, so he simply howls and cries. Seeing my wife so sad, I really had the urge to break out of the coffin, and I wanted to tell her the good news that I hadn't really "died" yet. However, if this is the case, the sad wife may not necessarily feel happy, and she may be frightened. Perhaps, if I really regained that ability, I might hesitate.
Gradually, the wife's crying stopped. What a cry. From it, I can feel the deep affection of my wife. Alas, why didn't I realize it before? Is this the so-called loss to know cherish? I'm already starting to regret why I didn't treat my wife better when I was healthy. Phew! What does it mean to "know how to cherish when you lose"? I haven't lost it yet! I will definitely be able to regain control of my body again! Perhaps, this is just a test of our relationship as a couple. In the future, I will definitely have a chance. When I get back to the beginning, I will definitely be doubly good to my wife. I will use the rest of my life to make up for my previous debt to my wife.
Although I didn't hear my son's crying, I knew that my son's inner sorrow would not be less than that of his wife. It's just that his son's personality is more introverted, so he will never cry in front of everyone like his wife. Therefore, I am more worried about my son in comparison. After all, this kind of crying is also a kind of emotional catharsis, which is actually extremely beneficial to alleviating the sadness in the heart. Just like his son, suppressing his sadness in the bottom of his heart is not good for his health.
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