Cesare could see that Cesare felt the same inappropriateness in his remarks as she had done before—Jeanne's sudden low voice, which seemed to make him mistakenly think that his question had hurt her, and which led him into a solemn silence: it was clear that Cesare was not very good at dealing with such emotional awkward situations. The caution and bewilderment of his statue-like face almost made Jeanne, who had come back from some not-so-pleasant memories, feel sorry for the fact that she was not in a good mood now, but it was by no means the feeling of Cesare's question, or even the feeling of the present situation.

"I think it's really sad," she said in the affirmative, "because it's a sign of incompetence, like we've just discussed—and we're doing it because we don't have the ability to get the results we want while preserving ourselves, so we have to be harsh on ourselves...... In fact, almost all marriages that are not based on love have such a basis, all political marriages, all marriages that arise because of the future, all the nuggets who marry the old gold mine -- I think she will feel the same frustration and insecurity, and I think our pathetic degree is relatively mild, because it is a short-term marriage after all, not like a political marriage that lasts a lifetime, and not like those who still have hope for love, but have to marry age, marry 'want children, But women who can't raise themselves independently, like women, have to face their own failures, not to mention gold diggers, in order to change their situation and fate, they have to deceive others, sell themselves, desperately chase every opportunity to change their fate, and even in order to cover up their incompetence, they have to sincerely hypnotize themselves to make themselves believe that there is really love in this marriage......"

She noticed that her voice was a little too high-pitched and exaggerated, and quickly restrained her emotions, calmed down for a while, and then continued, "Compared with them, we at least have the initiative - what we pursue is not so basic, and we are not so incompetent. ”

Cesare was silent for a moment, he looked at Jeanne with a strange eye, as if she were showing a new side—a side that had never been shown to anyone, at least to her at all, and after a while, he said slowly, "Indeed, it is not our fear of losing money that really makes this marriage happen."

Of course, when Cesare proposed to transfer their property by marriage, they did so for the money—for a large sum of money, to make up for their mistakes, but after the escalation, when they were targeted by the IRS, Jeanne chose to continue the marriage on a high note, money was really not the first thing they considered. Jenny nodded, "That's what I wanted to correct you just now, your image - your image as a CEO, your influence in the company, your potential enemies, this is what we value, this is something we need to solve through a marriage, and it's not because we need money...... Money is no longer a problem for you and me now, Cesare, what really matters is what we want to do, what we want to achieve with big dreams, what we want to achieve - what really matters is the pursuit of excellence-"

"The pursuit of excellence, always the pursuit." Cesare said his expression calmed down, as if there was a burden — a burden that hadn't been manifested, but had been faintly there, had been secretly adding obstacles to their communication, creating embarrassment, quietly disappearing, which made him look so much more serene — that you wouldn't realize how tense he had been before.

"Yes, it's important to this, for the sake of money and survival in exchange, pathetic." Jenny said she raised her hand to gesture, "An exchange built on deception, a deplorable, an exchange without an end, deplorable, all of these deplorables, like a hasty marriage, will eventually have a painful and chaotic result that affects the lives of many people around us." But for the sake of excellence in exchange, as you said, a clean, friendly, tacit cooperation, is it sad? It may still be sad, but it is also respectable, at least it is the pathetic of the successful, and even one step away from greatness. ”

"Do you think so highly of yourself?" Cesare said, smiling genuinely and stretching his legs against the back of his chair, "One step away from greatness?" huh？ ”

"If the goal we pursue is not individual-centric," Jenny said, "but community-centric, I don't know -- I guess if your ambition is to protect wildlife, to raise enough money and policy tilts to build a sanctuary, you and I agree to marry -- think about it, if that's the case-"

Cesare thought for a moment, then burst out laughing, leaning his neck against the back of his chair and snorting at the roof, reaching out and grabbing his blonde hair.

"It sounds like it's going to be a good movie, I guess, typical art film, mixed with some sexual confusion and reflection, and the humility and greatness of human nature, and so on," he said with a laugh, "but, back to the point, I see what you mean -- yes, if we're for this fake marriage, then we're great." ”

"It's sad at the same time." Jenny added, "We are great and pathetic, at least in the eyes of those who insist on marrying for love." But I guess that way we'll feel better when we get married -- at least better than if we were married for a studio. ”

"And it feels much better to marry for the sake of a film company and everything it stands for than to marry for the sake of survival, for the sake of money -- or for the sake of utter desperation, for the sake of illusory political necessity." Cesare said with a slight sneer, as well as self-deprecation, "to a much lesser extent - Ulla." ”

"You can't imagine," said Jeanne, who was not in Cesare's spirit, shook her head, and whispered, "the same as sacrificing a marriage, and what it must be like for those who want to change their fate, to come out of despair, to stand at the altar...... You can't imagine the gap between her life and ours - it's not about money, it's about ...... You can't imagine how ignorant and ignorant she is, how helpless and struggling, how weak she is...... Maybe you can talk and laugh with her, maybe you pass by from time to time, but you can't understand each other at all, you won't understand why money is so important to her - for you, money is the most worrying thing in the world, you have so many ways to get it, and she, she won't understand your world, she doesn't even understand her own incompetence and lowliness, and she will be complacent about what she has achieved, like ......"

She glanced at Cesare and said without shying away, "Like you at some point, she'll make me ...... Now I can't help but feel sorry for her......"

Cesare fell silent, but did not show a tingling expression, tonight seemed to be a wonderful night, with so many sensitive topics being mentioned, each of which required careful care, or even not mentioning, and they had such a bold discussion on these topics, and expressed such a sharp attitude, but none of them were hurt by it, as if at this moment, whether it was a less glorious past or an inherent flaw in character, a knot in the heart that could not be let go, It will not be a weakness that can be used to attack oneself, it is not a hidden pain that needs to be guarded against, but an imperfection that can be freely admitted, and can be made up for in the discussion - it may not be solved at once, it cannot be cured, but the pain can still be soothed, the wound can still be cared for, in such a discussion you can believe that the world is developing for the better after all, and you no longer need to stay strong forever, in the sinister outside world, there is always a place for you to let down your guard and tinker, You'll believe that the world isn't just a never-ending storm, you'll believe that you'll reach an oasis on your journey, you'll believe that there's a place waiting at the end, maybe it's not paradise, but there's always one or two places that will be the same as you expect.

"So, in a way, sacrificing for the sake of excellence is already a success in itself." In the end, Cesare did not ask anything, but concluded gently, "If this is self-consolation, then I must say that you have done a good job." ”

"At the very least, I'd rather sacrifice a marriage for the sake of excellence." Without hesitation, Jenny replied, "If I had to choose, yes, I would." ”

She couldn't help but smile, "If you look at it this way, my progress is indeed not small - this time when I stood in front of the altar, the uncomfortable feeling can almost be said to be blissful, think about it, maybe when I got married for the third time, I really married for all mankind - for a great purpose." ”

"By then, the discomfort should have been quite mild," Cesare said teasingly, "and if there was one, I think you would have gotten used to it." ”

"I think so." Jenny laughed, too, "But I know that even then, someone will feel sorry for me—and Lillian will feel sorry for me." ”

"Yes, Lillian will." Cesare's face softened, and at this moment, his voice could almost be described as soft, "Lillian is the conscience of this society. ”

"And what about us?" Jenny asked, "What about people like us?" ”

"People like us are the wheels of human civilization." "The smaller ones," Cesare said, "don't have that noble intentions after all, but anyway, I think it's the thousands of us who are pushing society forward, maybe to destruction, but anyway, without us, the world would have changed much more slowly." ”

"Sounds really exciting," Jenny put the last slice of broccoli in her mouth, "just as I was comforting myself - I'm glad I'm that kind of person, and I think my life will be a lot better than Lilian's." ”

Cesare laughed, and he stood up and began to clean up the dishes, "So, this is the first dinner in the new home—a philosophical conversation that is neither productive nor meaningful. ”

"If you think that's philosophy," Jenny said, standing up to get the kitchen towel, "then your college grades aren't as good as I thought they would be - and it's not without practical significance, at least it makes me feel a lot happier, the empty mansion, the upcoming wedding - it doesn't feel so unbearable, does it?" These are our choices after all – and this is the price to pay for excellence. ”

"So you did a smooth self-hypnosis," Cesare said, bending over to study the dishwasher as Jenny rolled her eyes at his back.

"I find you to be annoying sometimes—" She wiped the dirt off the table back and forth, roughly tidying up the dishes used in the cooking, and then, seeing that Cesare had not yet gotten up, walked over to him and crouched down. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm a little unsure if it's plugged in." Cesare said, "The panel didn't light up, but—"

As he leaned to the right, Jenny noticed what appeared to be a socket on the left, and the two nearly collided, forcing Cesare to put his hands on her shoulders to help her balance.

Perhaps because of the difference in the heat and cold of the food they ate, the temperature of his palms was significantly different from Jenny's skin, the strength of his mastery, the familiar, slightly salty smell of men's perfume - that familiar tension returned, but this time, Jeanne found that she was no longer so embarrassed and afraid, she didn't know which of Cesare's words made her subconsciously let her guard down, anyway, she could still feel her goosebumps threatening to revolt, but now, her instinct was no longer driving her to run.

They looked at each other—perhaps a little longer than their usual eye contact—but laughed almost at the same time, dissolving the tension for a moment, and Jenny said, "The socket seems to be on the left, see no, under the wall that the rag is blocking......"

Soon, the LCD panel of the dishwasher lit up, Cesare timed the coffee machine, and walked out of the kitchen with Jenny.

"How do you feel about this meal?" He's going to talk a little more than usual.

"I felt like I needed a full-time salad cook," Jenny said, as they stepped up the stairs together, "and broccoli smelled of blood — it shouldn't be in the water behind the chicken...... What about you? ”

"I wanted to treat you to a little pasta - even if it's a bite," Cesare said with a rare embarrassment, "A little carb doesn't hurt for fitness—but I gave up on the idea. ”

It wasn't funny, but Jenny couldn't help but start laughing, and she spoke almost at the same time as Cesare, "So, we do need a chef—"

"So, I've got to start learning how to cook—"

It wasn't really funny, but for some reason, Jenny's laughter grew louder and Cesare began to shake his head and chuckle as he stopped around the corner on the second floor. "Good night, Jenny, see you tomorrow."

Jenny smiled as she walked up to the third floor, "Good night ie, see you tomorrow." ”

Ascending the steps, turning on the porch light, going to the end of the corridor, looking at the dark sea, closing the window against the strong night wind, and walking through a long corridor - on the other side of the corridor was her cloakroom, to the dark master bedroom, turning on the light, entering the large empty room, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings -

All this should have made her feel uneasy and frightened, but Jeanne was feeling really good now, her mind had shaken off the temporary low ebb, and she was waving her wings to go higher and farther, she was thinking about her next literary film—her unintentional metaphors and Cesare's teasing gave her some inspiration, and she had a feeling that if she went down this path, maybe she would really find the film she wanted to make: no matter the box office, no matter the awards, just the film she wanted to act; She was thinking about her past, her long-forgotten girlhood; She was thinking about the dinner she had just had, thinking of Cesare's words, "If you can't put your lover before your career, you'd better give up pursuing a 'white fence' marriage", which reminded her of Daniel. Day-Lewis and his wife, who wants to know who is more selfish - maybe Cesare will one day meet a girl who can sacrifice for him like Rebecca, and it will change his life dramatically......

She was thinking about her future, thinking about her two marriages—for the first time in so many years, Jenny was vaguely thinking about the question, and she was thinking about her third marriage—she had been married twice for different reasons, would she marry a third? Will she meet a man who makes her want to walk into church? Admittedly, as Cesare said, all this was not so logical, especially for her, it was impossible to marry naturally at an age when most people were married, marriage required struggle, effort and sacrifice, and for her it meant predictable stories, endless external factors and multiple games - marriage and everything after it inevitably meant a suspension and distraction in her career, a swing and turmoil in the balance of power - what would she choose? Like Cesare, he simply gave up his expectations, or secretly hoped that he could have Daniel's luck and fall in love with his true son at first sight?

Maybe...... Perhaps she still had some vague visions of marriage—not her sham marriage to Cesare, of course, or her marriage to her ex-husband—but a real marriage, the one contracted out of love—but that begs another question

She's about to get married for the second time, and she already has several boyfriends, and maybe some people to admire, but she's ...... Have you ever really loved anyone? Hazy first love, ex-husband, Chris, Salvi...... Is the relationship between these people and her really love......

Before she knew it, Jenny walked to the window and looked out into the garden through the glass, the dim light of the landscape lamps reflected a green field, and it was obvious that a pale yellow light was cast in the room directly below, and dust and insects flew up and down in the light, and fell in a straight line into the thick darkness of the cliff in the distance.

"Maybe you can grow some herbs in the garden......" a strange idea suddenly jumped into my mind, practical and interesting, the growing talent from the East squeezed out all metaphysics. Thyme, rosemary or something, insect repellent and cooking - I've always wanted to grow something, but unfortunately the previous villa was really not suitable - tonight's meat sauce with a little tarragon grass will definitely be more fragrant......"

Her stomach seemed to squirm, Jenny swallowed, turned to get her yoga clothes, "A little carb really doesn't hurt, next time...... I'll definitely take a bite next time......"