"Don't say it, don't say it." I covered my ears, raised my teary eyes, and glared at Yueniang angrily, "What do you want?" ”

"Heartache?" Yueniang smiled lightly, her eyes with a hint of coldness.

"If you're here to condemn me today, then I'll only let you down." I took a breath, stood up straight, and wiped the tears from my face, "I don't deny it, the story you tell is very tragic, very pitiful, very sympathetic, or you still think I'm ruthless, think that I can't understand his pain, you think so, because you are Yuewanchi, not me." ”

"You ......" Yueniang was slightly stunned.

"Who is Moon Night Pool? It is a person who has received his favor and escaped from the sea of suffering and has been reincarnated as a human being, or you still worship and believe in him as a god, everything he has done, you think is right, and the harm he has done to others can be attributed to suffering. I sneered, my tone getting colder and colder, "But I'm not you, Yueniang." Can you imagine what it was like to be a young lady raised in the depths of the boudoir to wake up and find that she was being raped, forced to kill her father, humiliated with vicious words, and imprisoned in a green house to sell herself? Do you know my fears? Do you know how deep those shames hurt me? I didn't seek death, I tried to live, did I save my life and let him be humiliated? Do you think he can justifiably do bad things in the name of revenge, and I should be slaughtered? Or do you think that because he gave up his hatred and fell in love with me, I should thank him with gratitude for his love? ”

"The debt of the father and the son are repaid, and it is justified!" Yueniang gritted her teeth and turned her face away.

"Heh......" I laughed, it seems that we really can't get along. I was educated in the 21st century, and in modern law, there is no such thing as the payment of debts by the father and the son, but about one person doing things and one person doing the other. I shook my head and sighed, "I don't think I have much more to say to you." ”

Turning around to leave, Yueniang said coldly behind her back: "Do you really hate him so much? ”

I paused and didn't look back: "Yueniang, why are you so persistent, since he has let go of his hatred, why don't you let him go to the ground as soon as possible." ”

"Did you ever love him?" There was a hint of anger in Yueniang's voice.

After a long silence, I smiled softly: "I have never loved him." Turning my head and looking at Yueniang's angry eyes, I took a breath: "But I don't hate him anymore." ”

Her eyes flashed, and I said lightly: "I will not live a lifetime of hatred like him." Yueniang, people have to live for themselves, in this world, no one can save anyone, we can only save ourselves. "Count it as my advice to her, Yueniang's life can be regarded as living for Chu Yan, as for whether she wants to understand or not, it's none of my business.

Her expression became complicated, and I turned around to leave, but she called again: "Wait a minute." ”

I turned my head, her eyes flashed, and she had an indifferent expression: "Please don't go to Feng Ge again in the future." ”

I raised my eyebrows, a little ridiculous: "Is this what Feng Ge means?" ”

"That's what I meant." She looked at me coldly, "If you approach him, you will only hurt him, and I will never allow you to cause him pain." ”

"I asked myself if I had never done anything to hurt Feng Ge." I said calmly.

"Your presence will bring him pain." There was a hint of pathos in Yueniang's eyes, "Do you know why his hair turns white?" ”

"Why?" My heart tightened. What happened to Feng Ge that would become what he is now?

"He heard the news of Chu Yan's death...... "Yueniang's expression was desolate and bitter, "A white head." ”

The strings in my heart snapped, and I took a step back in shock and glared at her in disbelief: "What did you say? Feng Ge he ......"

"He loves Chu Yan, and he loves him from the first time he sees him." Yueniang bit her lip, and her face turned pale slightly, "I've been loving him for so many years." ”

"No......" my heart throbbed, "this can't ......"

"I know you won't believe it, who in this world can accept a man and love a man." Yueniang sneered, but her tone was filled with compassion for Feng Ge, "So, he buried his love for him in his heart and didn't let anyone know, but how could he hide it from me, he was the younger brother I brought up." He loves Chu Yan, so he loves you too, because Chu Yan loves you, you won't understand how deeply he loves you, how desperate he is......"

It was like someone was choking my neck, and I just felt a swelling and pain in my chest, and I couldn't breathe. Yueniang looked at me fixedly, and said word by word: "Don't go to Feng Ge again, do you understand the pain in his heart when you stand in front of him?" You will only remind him of Chu Yan and make him feel uneasy......"

I rushed out the door, I couldn't listen to it anymore, I would suffocate if I listened to it any longer. "Young lady?" Yun Xun Yunkun saw me running out and hurriedly followed. I got into the carriage: "Go home, I want to go home......"

Sitting in the car with my arms crossed, I still couldn't stop my body from trembling, what happened to this world? What the hell is wrong with this world? Is the world crazy?

Your presence will bring him pain!

Your presence will bring him pain!

Yueniang's words were like knives, poking my heart and flesh blurred. What if I don't come into this world? If I don't come to this world, the balance of this world will not be broken by me, and the fate of the people who are entangled with me will not be like this at all, it is because of me, all because of me, because of my appearance, everything has changed! If I continue to exist in this plane, will there still be people whose fate will be changed because of me, and will there still be people who will be hurt again?

I clutched my lips and let the whimper get stuck in my throat to keep it from making a sound. As soon as the carriage stopped at the gate of the Hou Mansion, I immediately rushed out of the carriage and rushed in: "Yun Zheng, Yun Zheng ......"

He heard my call and walked out of the room, slightly stunned: "Ye'er? ”

"Yun Zheng......" I threw myself into his arms, tears flowing uncontrollably. He gently patted me on the shoulder and said softly, "What's wrong?" Leaves? ”

"I'm scared...... "I'm really afraid, the fear of the consequences of upsetting the balance of this world, the fear of the unknown fate, like a boulder pressing down on my heart, making me feel scared from the bottom of my heart."

"What are you afraid of?" Yun Zheng hugged me gently, and I said softly, "I'm afraid of ......"

But I was stunned, what am I afraid of? But I found that I couldn't pour out the fear in my heart to him, Yun Zheng couldn't understand my fear, can I say that I am not actually from this world, but a ghost from another time and space? Why can't I completely open my mind and tell him all my secrets, even to Yun Zheng? Or I don't have such an exact understanding of Yun Zheng, or maybe I'm a woman who never wants to give my heart to anyone, and I have never trusted anyone except myself.

I see, I see! My shiver strangely calmed down, and I felt weak and weak. Yun Zheng hugged me and frowned: "Ye'er, you're tired, I'll help you go in and say." ”

Obediently, he let me into the bedroom, he helped me to lie on the bed, sat on the edge of the bed and held my hand: "What happened to you?" ”

I looked at him quietly, thinking of the epiphany just now, and my heart was sad. The experience of the past life, the experience of this life, my heart disease is terminal, it has nothing to do with anyone, from the beginning to the end, it is my own problem, and I can't break free from the shackles of this inner demon, I am powerless, and I have no heart. I looked at the worry in his eyes and smiled slightly, "It's okay, I'm too emotional." ”

His worries did not dissipate, I sighed and said softly, "I went to see my former friends, and I thought of something unhappy that worried you, I'm sorry." ”

"Silly girl, I'm your husband, I promised to make you happy, if something happens to you and you feel scared, it will only make me feel that I am incompetent, I can't protect you, so you feel uneasy." Yun Zheng smiled and said gently, "Ye'er, believe me, believe that I can protect you." ”

"I believe it." I squeezed his hand, I never doubted Yun Zheng's ability. Dragging a sick body to manage the Yun family's big family business, the court, merchants or rivers and lakes, all the forces have to take care of it, Yun Zheng is by no means a weak son without scheming, or he is more ruthless than others. But so what, what I know and see is his good side, and if he is good to me now, I will be good to him, and if one day he is not good to me, I will take back my good to him. I have always been a selfish person, why do I need to take care of the world. Yueniang, you said today, you came to the wrong place, you failed to hook out the guilt in my heart, and I was tortured every night; But it's the right thing, you let me recognize myself, I see that there is a cancer in my heart, and I can't cut it off, I can only ignore it.

"Young Master Zheng!" Ning Er walked in, "The righteous steward has something to see you." ”

"You're so resting, I'll take a look." Yun Zheng covered me with a quilt and walked out gently, only to come in again after a while. I whispered, "What's the matter?" ”

"There is a word from King Jing's Mansion that the county lord is seriously ill and has died, and now it is time to die." Yun Zheng's eyes flashed, and he said softly.

"Funeral?" I sat up and said, "You mean King Jing released the news that Hui Hui died?" ”

"Hmm." Yun Zheng sat back on the side of my bed again, "Are you hungry?" Would you like to eat something? ”

"Yun Zheng, what did you promise King Jing?" I frowned and took his hand.

He looked at me fixedly and smiled. I was anxious: "Yun Zheng! ”

"What Mr. and Mrs. Jing said to us, I thought it was strange, it sounded inconsequential." I frowned and said, "He is a dignified prince, and he knows that we have blocked the county lord's good family affairs, not only did he not mention a word, but also deliberately made affection, as if he was showing goodwill." You later said that the matter was settled, and it was only after hearing the news that I realized that it must have been the benefit you promised them, which was greater than that of marrying General Shan, that made them rather commit this crime of deceiving the king. ”

"Ye'er......" Yun Zheng laughed, "Why are you so smart?" ”

"Yun Zheng!" I was anxious and angry, "You're still laughing?" "I wanted to wait until I settled down and went to meet General Shan, he is a reasonable person, and he will not be embarrassed in this matter, with his close relationship with the emperor, this matter may not be without room for change, if Yun Zheng agrees to King Jing's unreasonable request, it is no longer my original intention.

"Ye'er, you are so smart, you should know that I will not do anything that will make the Yun family suffer a big loss." Yun Zheng patted my hand and said softly: "Then you also heard it, His Royal Highness King Jing just wants a guarantee, and when there is a difficulty in the future, he asks for a support, and our Yun family also needs the relationship of the prince in Beijing." ”

Will things be that simple? I frowned: "He is the prince, there is no shortage of power, if there is a difficulty, it will be a difficult matter." What is difficult for him to do, can the Yun family handle it? ”

"Ye'er, you're thinking too complicated." Yun Zheng said with a smile, "The Yun family's ability is also much greater than you imagined. ”

"I ......" I just wanted to speak, Yun Zheng coaxed me softly, "Ye'er, I promise you, I will never let people take advantage of loopholes in this matter, and you don't have to be too nervous, okay?" ”

I looked at him and sighed: "That's it, I took this matter back, what else can I say." I'll ask Yunyi to prepare a memorial ceremony. ”

――2007、1、8

My thoughts have been a little chaotic in the past two days.,Maybe the reader's opinion has had some impact on me.,I'm also wondering.,Is the heroine's surname really so annoying.,Too rational.、Selfish.、Cold.。 When readers read novels, they always want to see something beautiful, something kind, something hopeful. But I think,I'm writing about people.,Not God.,People's surnames are two-sided.,Everyone has a good side in their hearts.,There's also a dark side.,The heroine is just an ordinary person.,Selfishness is also a person's surname.,She doesn't have great wisdom.,Just a little clever.,There's a woman's vanity.,Her experience makes her rational and cold.,Since I decided to give her this kind of surname from the beginning.,It's not something that can be changed overnight.,Although it's just a fictional character.,I also hope to be as real as possible.。 I am very sorry for dissatisfying the readers, and I only finished half of the chapter today.

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