"So how can we be happy? Is it okay for two people to simply be together? Zheng Fei asked

She seems to know about this problem, but she doesn't understand it clearly.

The so-called born to know, but it is difficult to speak.

Wang Xiao shook his head and smiled: "Of course not." It's not that simple. Happiness is a state that ordinary people can truly understand. When you don't understand this realm, two people will not be happy even if they are simply together. Especially a person who pursues vanity, he can't stand being together simply, and being together simply will only make him crazy. Such an unenlightened person can only experience a moment of happiness in vanity. But this kind of happiness that comes from vanity is not long-lasting after all, and it is even more unwise to give up happiness for the sake of vanity. ”

"What does true happiness look like? It's not that it's simple. No, true happiness can also play romance and can also have vanity, however, vanity and romance are not necessary, and even without these can be joyful. If vanity and romance are regarded as necessities for happiness, then they are destined not to be happy. ”°

Therefore, if you want to be happy, you must first despise the vanity in front of others, and pay more attention to the feelings of the heart. Do not go against the will of your heart for the sake of vanity in front of people. When you can experience happiness, you should strive to enjoy it, rather than adding some unnecessary conditions in front of it. In fact, how many people can see the vanity in front of people? Even if there are many people who see it, how many people can remember it? Even if anyone can remember, how many really take it seriously? In fact, it's just self-deception, no one cares about other people's romance except for yourself, and you can't really experience the happiness of others. Only you can truly know if you are happy or not. ”

"People don't live for others, and no one looks at others all the time. People who like vanity always think that they are the center of attention in the eyes of others, but in fact they are nothing more than mentally uncivilized retards. ”

When one sees this clearly, one will truly follow the will of the heart, and not care about the vanity of the outside. You must understand that those vanities that can be seen by people are in fact cared about by no one except yourself. The result of the pursuit of vanity is ultimately nothing more than a vain. And life is quite long, there is no feeling of happiness, only endless desolation. It's ridiculous that most people in the world are ignorant, often paying for short-lived vanity with a lifetime of happiness. Vanity is always ephemeral. Others don't really care, they just deceive themselves. ”

"You can deceive others, but you can't deceive yourself. What's more, if you can't deceive others, it will only be a joke. For the sake of short-term vanity, to hitch a lifetime of happiness, stupid people are often like this. ”

Zheng Fei was puzzled: "Would someone give up their inner happiness for the sake of vanity for others to see?" ”

Wang Xiao nodded and said, "Yes." Smart people never understand what stupid people think. There are such people in the world. They don't live for themselves, they live for the eyes of others as if others always focus on them, as if others really envy them, but after all, it's just a joke. When others are snickering, this kind of person often thinks they are beautiful. When other people's eyes are gone, this kind of person will be lonely. Without the attention of others, there will be no happiness. It's so pitiful! ”

Zheng Fei smiled happily: "Fortunately, neither of us is such a person. ”

Wang Xiao nodded and said, "Yes, even if no one is looking at us, we are very comfortable."

Zheng Fei asked again: "If Hua Nan can reach this state, then he will be able to live happily in the future?" ”

Wang Xiao groaned, "Hmm." Hua Nan can break his wrist as a strong man, retreat bravely from the rapids, leave the complicated situation in Jiangcheng City, abandon all obstacles outside his body, and just want to return to inner peace, he already has the conditions to be happy. But at present, he can get the happiness of one person, if he wants to get the happiness of two people, he still needs to find a woman who also knows how to be truly happy. ^//^ If the woman he is looking for again is still vain, then he will still not be able to get true happiness, at most the happiness of one person. ”…,

Zheng Fei sighed: "It's not easy to find a woman like me who is not vain!" ”

Wang smiled and said, "Yes." Good luck with him! ”

Zheng Fei said again: "Actually, Bai Liu is also quite pitiful. ”

Wang smiled and said, "She is pitiful? Isn't Hua Nan pitiful? Bai Liu can still be said to be to blame, and Hua Nan is completely unjustified. You stayed with Bai Liu for half a month and you couldn t stand her, and when it was time to eat, you didn't go to eat Hua Nan was able to endure Bai Liu for three years, think about what crime he suffered. ”

Zheng Fei sighed and explained: "Bai Liu is naturally stupid, and she doesn't want to!" ”

Wang Xiao nodded and said, "Yes." Heaven is unfair to man. Some people are naturally smart, like you. Some people are stupid by nature, like someone else. In fact, it doesn't matter if a woman is stupid, as long as she is safe, it's okay, but if a woman is stupid and restless, it's really bad. ”

Zheng Fei thought about it and felt that Wang Xiao made sense, in fact, it is the same for both men and women. Some are smart, some are stupid. It doesn't matter if you're stupid, as long as you keep to yourself, you're a good person. But if people are stupid and restless, they will do more mistakes and do things that hurt others and themselves. A person can be said to be born stupid, which is a helpless thing. But a person's ability to keep to himself is an acquired character, and he cannot be blamed.

"Does Hua Nan think she is quite unlucky?" Zheng Fei asked again.

Wang Xiao shook his head and said, "Not really. Hua Nan said that he got this step of the field, and it was also the result of his own suffering, and he really couldn't complain about others. Bai Liu was just an external cause of his calamity, and it was his heart that really made him choose this path. He made this appearance because of some reasons in his personal personality. If he were in the same situation now, he wouldn't be trapped again. Because he is different from him before, he will see the same situation more clearly, and he will no longer be trapped like before. In the same way, if he had been smarter, he wouldn't have been disgraced. Therefore, a person's fate is closely related to his character, and cannot be attributed to the hardships and hardships encountered in life. In life, any strange thing may be encountered, which cannot be avoided, nor can you have resentment, you can only enhance your strength to learn to distinguish, learn to overcome, learn to control, and then you can take your destiny into your hands. ”°

After a pause, Wang smiled and said: "Hua Nan is because he understands this truth, so he will retreat bravely." He doesn't want to get stuck in the mud anymore, he wants to get out of trouble, he wants to control his destiny. When he has reached such a state, he will no longer complain about the heavens and others, but will only turn to himself to find a way to overcome difficulties and achieve happiness. ”

Zheng Fei exclaimed: "I really can't imagine that he can reach such a state." ”

Wang smiled and said, "Yes." If I hadn't talked to him, I wouldn't have thought he would be enlightened. But this is how people are, when they go through some hardships, they are able to move their hearts and endure to gain what they cannot. Hua Nan has experienced so many things in the past few years, learning is becoming more and more realistic, and her heart is becoming more and more ruthless, which is not what it used to be. ”

Zheng Fei sighed: "He is ruthless enough now. ”

Wang Xiao said: "The eldest husband is alive, and the grievances are clear, there is kindness to repay kindness, and there is revenge. It is impossible to generalize about how good you are to your friends and how ruthless you are to your enemies. A person has a good side, but also a ruthless side, so that he can survive in a complex world. If you can't see the good side of people, you think that people are a good person. Nor can we see the evil side of man, and think that man is a big bad person. Whether it is good or bad, we must look at a person comprehensively, and we can't look at it one-sidedly. In fact, whether a person is good or bad depends on the relationship between the person and the person. ”…,

Zheng Fei smiled understandingly: "Well, for example, a murderer may be a filial son, and a good father may be a big corrupt official." Whether it is good or bad for people depends on what kind of relationship people have with themselves. Whether people are good or bad also depends on the relationship between people and themselves. In this way, we can have a clear position, distinguish grievances and grievances, and handle things with evidence. ”

Wang Xiao said: "Yes, the relationship between people and themselves is different, and the means of doing things will be different. For example, if you are abused by relatives and friends, you should try to be as tolerant as possible. But if he is insulted by an unrelated person, he will directly scoop his mouth and slap him. Whether it is ruthless or kind-hearted depends on the person, and it cannot be generalized. To say that Hua Nan's way of doing things is a little more ruthless than ordinary people. But judging from what happened to him, it is also understandable.

To treat extraordinary people, we must use extraordinary human means, and this kind of thing is like this. If he wasn't ruthless, I'm afraid he would be trapped here for the rest of his life and never be able to live a happy life. ”

Zheng Fei asked, "Did you say he was forced out?" ”

Wang Xiao said: "There is such an factor. But what a person has done cannot be completely said to have been forced by others. It's still the same sentence, there are external factors, but after all, it's the demons in the heart. For example, I can't wipe my face, my heart is too soft, my mind is simple, I am naïve and naïve, my heart is too good, and so on. In times of outrageous persecution, these can hinder people from taking the right measures. When the persecution is not severe, people will be bound by the demons of their hearts, so that they will swallow their anger in the face of oppression. But if the persecution is unbearable, the person will fight back in order to protect himself, so as to break through the demons and take a tooth for a tooth. Therefore, the so-called forced is first of all a process of self-restraint. When this kind of forbearance is ineffective, people will adopt the opposite strategy, that is, no longer tolerate it, but fight back violently. Often, the deeper the oppression, the greater the intensity of the resistance. ”

"For example, if a person is beaten, then he immediately fights back, so that half a pound and half a two wins and loses each other, then this kind of thing will soon be relieved. But if a person is unable to fight back under pressure after being beaten, then he will hold a grudge. If someone sees him as a bully and bullies him again and again, then his suppressed hatred will become heavier and heavier. If one day he can no longer bear this kind of oppression, then the hatred he suppresses will not be relieved by a fight, and it is likely to go directly to the stage of extreme killing. ”

"Therefore, those people who don't offend me, I don't offend people, and if people offend me, I will offend people, generally don't go to extremes and make too big mistakes, and can always keep the situation under control. But those who have been persecuted for a long time will be in the worst extreme situation of desperate struggle if they do resist. ”

"The reason why a person is forced to do something also depends on two reasons, one is the persecution of the outside world, and the other is the bondage of the self. Without one aspect, there is no way to talk about what you are forced to do. Therefore, the reason why a person has a feeling of being forced to do something is also due to the general factor of his own character defects, and he cannot properly solve the situation he encounters. ”

"If a person is able to fight back against the persecution he encounters when he is persecuted, then it is a normal exchange of courtesies, and there will be no feeling of being forced to do something, and the means used will not be too broken. But if a person is not able to release the hatred in his heart immediately, then this hatred will accumulate in his heart, sometimes even he does not feel it, but he will have it subconsciously. ”

"Anyone who is tolerant of things will always enlighten themselves when they encounter persecution, and do not take the persecution seriously. This practice can give a person a disguised magnanimity in the conscious sense, but in fact this hatred caused by persecution is still stored in the subconscious. In other words, one can deceive oneself into believing that forbearance is right, but the subconscious mind remembers the true emotions of the person, but they are just suppressed. Therefore, people who tolerate are very depressed, and there are too many negative emotions in the subconscious that conflict with the apparent consciousness, so that people will live very unhappy, uncomfortable, and unhappy. ”…,

This oppressive condition manifests itself in dreams. Because when people are dreaming, the conscious mind will be thin to almost nothing, while the subconscious mind will emerge, which can better reflect people's true emotions. A ruthless bad guy may not sleep well and have nightmares and be punished, and a timid and timid good person may not sleep well and have nightmares and kill people like crazy.

This is the result of real emotions being suppressed and revealed in dreams. The former suppresses fear, and the latter suppresses killing intent. Both people are struggling with suffering. ”

"If people do not suppress the thoughts in their hearts, there is revenge, there is kindness to repay kindness, and the exchange of courtesies is simple, then they will feel the same inside and outside, without burden, relaxed and happy. When all the suppressed thoughts in the heart are released, these original burdens will be gone, and the spirit of the person will not be suppressed. ”

"There is a saying that if there is something to come out, if there is something unhappy, cry out, which is more conducive to people's health, in fact, this is the truth. If you don't say anything, hold it in your heart, it will suffocate people. Because if the words of the heart are not spoken, then he will always be in the heart, and he will become an eternal burden. If it is said that after it is said, it will be poured out of the body and no longer in the person's heart, and the person will be relaxed. ”

Therefore, the reason why a person has the idea of being forced to do something is also closely related to the individual's personality and way of doing things. If a person can properly deal with persecution from the outside world, and can digest persecution in time, then he will always be relaxed and wise, and will not be forced to do crazy things. ”

"At the end of the day, a person's abilities and perceptions are still the main factors in this kind of thing."

"Of course, the persecution from the outside world cannot be ignored."

"For example, if a person is persecuted once, he will definitely hold a grudge. Even if he comforted himself not to care, he was still scheming deep down. When he thought he had forgotten this hatred, in fact he still remembered it in his subconscious. If he has endured persecution once, and then he has never been persecuted again, or has suffered the same persecution, then he may really forget about this hatred and will not do extreme things because of this hatred. However, if after enduring the persecution again and again, and suffering the same persecution again and again, then this hatred will become more and more overwhelming, and the hatred that you think you have forgotten will be constantly awakened from the subconscious again and again, and then you will become more and more unbearable and do extreme things. ”

"Therefore, if one does not suffer the same persecution in succession, one is rarely forced to do anything."

"When you can't take a step back and can't open the sky, people can only draw their swords out of their sheaths, and the brave wins when they meet on a narrow road."

Zheng Fei sighed and said, "Do people have to take revenge?" ”

Wang smiled and said, "It's better to be like this." ”

Zheng Fei asked, "Why?" ”

Wang Xiao said: "If a person does not have a real open-minded mind to eliminate the persecution he has suffered, then if he endures this persecution, it is very likely that he will implicate the innocent and make himself even worse." ”

Zheng Fei shook his head and said, "I don't quite understand." ”

Wang Xiao said: "A person was beaten, but he couldn't fight back, so he found a weaker person and beat him, or he vented his dissatisfaction on something else." This is because the persecution he suffered made him mentally unbalanced, thus affecting his normal life. If he can fight back against his persecutors, then he will be able to fight back as a matter of course, and he will be able to dispel the dissatisfaction in his heart, so that he will not implicate the innocent and will not affect his normal life. Therefore, it is better to repay kindness with kindness and revenge, and have clear grievances. ”