Chapter 38: Guilt
Duanmu Jiao bit her lip with her teeth, leaving deep tooth marks on her lips. Watching Gong Xiping seriously wipe the dirty floor with a rag, his heart was extremely complicated. If there had been a little resentment towards him in the morning, it would have disappeared long ago. At this time, what she saw in her eyes was a taciturn teenager with an extremely strong heart. The performance of this transfer student at the moment has surpassed her cognition.
In her opinion, 17-year-old girls are simple and rebellious. As a teacher, the best and most effective means is to use high pressure. Only by using high pressure to convince these students in the rebellious period can it be easy to manage and educate. This is also the reason why many high school teachers prefer to take a hard-line approach to education.
But the tall transfer student in front of him, although he looks old-fashioned, lives like an unearthed cultural relic, and is usually silent, but it is not as simple as he seems on the outside. Sometimes he makes people cry and laugh, sometimes reassuring, sometimes clever and wise, sometimes stubborn and strong, and sometimes even thinks he is a little cute. But what kind of person he is, Duanmu Jiao, as a teacher, can't see through it at all.
Is it because the contact time is too short, so I can't understand? It's not like that. 17-year-old students are basically very simple, and occasionally some students who are a little complicated due to family reasons are relatively immature. As a Cheng* surname and a teacher, Duanmu Jiao is confident that she can see through every student at a glance. But this Gong Xiping, she can't see through it.
Almost biting his lip, Duanmu Jiao said, "That...... The teacher will do it with you. ”
Shaking his head, Gong Xiping still wiped the floor seriously, and said, "No need, there's not much, I'll be able to finish it soon." It's all here anyway, and I don't care about that piece anymore. ”
Duanmu Jiao nodded subconsciously.
yes, since school yesterday, I've been down all night, and I really don't care about doing a little more. So, Duanmu Jiao no longer persuaded him to go back to the classroom, and changed his words and said, "Then I'll accompany you here." ”
His hands stopped wiping, Gong Xiping raised his head, glanced at Duanmu Jiao, and then said, "Teacher, what do you want to say?" ”
"I didn't want to say anything." After a pause, Duanmu Jiao said again, "I just want to feel a little better." ”
Gong Xiping stared at Duanmu Jiao for about 2 seconds, didn't speak, and continued to wipe his floor. In this way, under Duanmu Jiao's gaze, Gong Xiping wiped the last piece clean.
Standing up, Gong Xiping let out a long breath. wiped the sweat on his forehead with his sleeve, and couldn't help but laugh at himself a little in his heart. It seems that this body is still a little weak, and after only wiping the floor all night, I already feel obviously tired. It is easy and quick to increase the amount by 10 times. It looks like it's time to step up your recovery training.
Seeing Gong Xiping stand up, Duanmu Jiao also breathed a sigh of relief. She took two steps forward and asked with concern, "Are you done?" ”
"It's over. Teachers can rest assured. ”
Duanmu Jiao nodded and said, "Hurry back to the classroom, you don't have to go early, take a break in the classroom." Then he turned and walked away.
Back in the office and sitting at the desk, Duanmujiao saw the USB flash drive that was thrown on the ground yesterday again. After hesitating for a moment, I plugged the USB flash drive into the computer again, but I still couldn't open the document file. Duanmu Jiao gave up completely, closed her eyes, and leaned back on the backrest.
Outside the window, there was morning music, and the light and passionate voice of the music. But falling on Duanmu Jiao's ears made her extremely irritable.
Her ambition since childhood has been to be an excellent teacher. For this ambition, she did not hesitate to turn her face with her father, resolutely applied for the Normal College, and with excellent grades and eye-catching performance, she successfully entered the famous school Shencheng No. 1 Middle School as a teacher as soon as she graduated. After more than a year of hard work, due to her outstanding performance, the principal made an exception to promote her to the class teacher, and handed over the 7th class of the first year of high school to her at that time.
She has always considered herself a qualified teacher. Although he is not an excellent gardener, he is at least qualified, and he is respected as a teacher. So, although she still has a stiff relationship with her family and lives alone in a teacher's apartment, she has never doubted her choice and is happy with what she has achieved so far.
However, after experiencing the matter of Gong Xiping, she found that she was wrong. The mistake was outrageous, and she was a little overwhelmed by the mistake. Her confidence was hit so hard that she began to wonder if she was really qualified to be a teacher.
"Teacher."
Just as she was distraught, a calm voice interrupted her musings. This made her even more annoyed, who was already in a bad mood. Suddenly opened his eyes and shouted angrily: "Why don't you knock when you come in!" ”
But I didn't want to, the person who came was Gong Xiping.
The anger that Duanmu Jiao had just risen was suddenly like being poured with a basin of ice water. She was stunned on the spot, looking at Gong Xiping, but she forgot what to say.
Gong Xiping said apologetically: "I'm sorry, I didn't close the door, so I came in." ”
Duanmu Jiao coughed dryly, adjusted her mood, waved her hand lightly and said, "Oh, it's okay, I was thinking about things just now, and you suddenly came, and I was taken aback." ”
"I'm sorry teacher, I'll knock on the door next time."
"Oh, that's okay. Didn't you take a break in the classroom? Find me something. ”
Hearing this, Gong Xiping put a stack of exercise books on Duanmujiao's desk. Duanmu Jiao made a rough estimate, not to mention that it was also a source.
"What is this?"
"2,000 times, I'm sorry, teacher."
Duanmu Jiao was a little prepared because she had heard him mention it before, and she was a little numb now. Turning his gaze on this stack of exercise books, he picked up one of them blankly and flipped through them.
I have to say that Gong Xiping's handwriting is very beautiful, neat and clean. Even an expert like Duanmu Jiao, who has learned hard calligraphy, has to admit that these words can be used as calligraphy. These fonts are pleasing to the eye. If you don't practice hard, you won't be able to write such beautiful words. There are even many hard-pen calligraphers' characters.
This tall guy is only 17 years old, right? Why does his handwriting seem so calm and steady, so sophisticated? Words like this cannot be written without a decade or two of hard practice. Of course, a handful of geniuses are the exception. Could it be that this transfer student is a calligraphy genius?
Aside from his beautiful fonts, the layout and formatting are also clear and straightforward. Each page is divided into five lines, each with two columns, facing each other, neatly and neatly.
Duanmu Jiao felt a little surprised at first, but when she turned to the back, she turned into surprise. Then, she changed to another and looked at it, and immediately picked up another one. After reading all the exercise books, Duanmu Jiao's heart was once again like turning over a five-flavor bottle, and she couldn't tell the taste.
Every word, every line, every column, every page, every book, is exactly the same, the words are upright, the typography is neat, there is no trace of scribbling, no half word is missing. How serious, what a dedication! Duanmu Jiao can conclude that in less than the middle of the night, these 2,000 times the teacher is sorry will definitely not be finished.
After writing this, I also cleaned the entire school hallway, this is simply torture! Duanmu Jiao suddenly realized at this moment how excessive she was yesterday. She kept saying that he had damaged her reputation, but she didn't think about it from his shoes. If he was Gong Xiping and helped others, he would still be tortured, and he would have been violent a long time ago.
Oh my God, what have I done! Duanmu Jiao felt an unprecedented sense of frustration.
"Teacher, I'll leave first if it's okay." After a pause, Gong Xiping continued, "If the USB flash drive is broken, the teacher will give me your email address, and I will go back and send you the documents in the evening." ”
Duanmujiao glanced at the USB flash drive that was still plugged into the computer, and nodded silently. Seeing that Gong Xiping was about to turn around and leave, he couldn't help but call: "Wait." ”
"What else?"
Duanmu Jiao wanted to speak and stopped, but when the words came to her mouth, she couldn't speak. So he could only change his words and say: "Leave your email address to me, I'll send you an email first, and you can go back and reply to me in the evening." ”
Gong Xiping nodded, took the paper and pen handed by Duanmujiao, wrote down his email address, and handed it to Duanmujiao.
Watching Gong Xiping walk out of the office in a daze, Duanmu Jiao sighed heavily. After thinking about it for a while, she turned on the computer, typed in the email address that Gong Xiping gave her, and then wrote an email.
"I'm sorry, Gong Xiping, I wanted to apologize to you in person, but I really didn't have the courage to speak, so I could only tell you by email, I'm sorry.
I'm an unqualified teacher. Now I realize what a kind student you are, and you did that yesterday out of pure kindness. You're trying to help me, you're trying to defend me. But I selfishly only think of trivial things, blame you so much, and even come up with such a vicious way to torture you. As a teacher, I feel guilty for my actions, and as an adult, I am ashamed of my childishness. I am a failed teacher, a failed person. Looking back on my path to teaching now, it is so absurd and ridiculous.
I always believe that students in the rebellious period only need to rely on the coercion of teachers to subdue them, and they can be educated and managed smoothly. However, I, and all of us teachers, have overlooked one issue, and that is how students feel. When we are working hard for our educational evaluation and grades, we all forget that what rebellious students need most is not coercion, not management, not scores, but understanding.
I'm an adult, and I'm from that period. However, I completely forgot this most important point. While imparting knowledge, teachers should also focus on teaching students how to behave. But I only noticed the superficial things, and I didn't remember the responsibilities of being a teacher at all.
Teaching.
In addition to teaching, teachers should also educate people. Only those who do both at the same time are qualified teachers.
Gong Xiping, please forgive me and forgive me for being an incompetent teacher. ”
After writing the email, Duanmujiao moved the mouse to the "send" button. But just when she decided to press the button, she hesitated. She looked at the screen in a daze, and made up her mind to press "send" several times, but she didn't press it.
After hesitating for about 5 minutes, she threw the entire email into the trash.