Just when my mother was in full swing and her work was booming, the god of fate waved her hand and brought my mother's career to an abrupt end.

My mom had tuberculosis.

This disease is nothing now, and I rarely even hear of it, but in those days it was a terminal disease, similar to cancer now, and the organization immediately transferred my mother to one of the best local sanatoriums for treatment, where there is a sensational treatment, which is to turn the patient's head upside down every day, pump air through the mouth, and try to use the force of air pressure to heal the hole in the lungs. When I listened to my mother, I was also skeptical, but my mother survived after all, which is ironclad evidence.

100% of the people who recuperated with my mother in the sanatorium were some of the same old revolutionaries as my mother, the revolution was victorious, the country did not forget them, in that era of material scarcity, they enjoyed incredible treatment in the sanatorium, two eggs per person per day, a small rooster, the staple food could not be repeated for a week, and the fruit was available every day. My mom couldn't get enough to eat, so she told the cafeteria to save the eggs and take them away when my dad went to see her. During her recuperation, my mom also learned to fish, and whenever the sun set, my mom and her fellow patients would go fishing in the pond next to the sanatorium. We still have photos of my mother taken at that time, with short ear-length hair, dark cheongsam, and leather shoes. The most striking thing was the Inage watch on her wrist, which was influenced by a patient from a big city, and my mother became fashionable. It was the youngest time in my mother's life, and when I was old, my mother would often touch the photos and tell me about the events of that time. My mother made many good friends in the nursing home, among which there was a Shanghai aunt surnamed Liu who was the best friend with her mother, and they exchanged letters for several years, and then after several work changes, they gradually lost contact.

The difference between Aunt Guan and Aunt Liu is very different, my mother likes Aunt Liu, like-minded, hates Aunt Guan, is greedy for the public's cheapness, and does not pay attention to principles.

My mother could neither send Aunt Guan to the commune, nor could she make her have a deeper understanding of her mistakes, and in the end, she was depressed, so she could only make a big deal at me, lock me in the house, and go to work by herself.

For people like my mother and Aunt Liu, who came out to carry a gun and did the revolution when they were teenagers, [***] is their father and mother, and the public family is their mother's family, whoever harms the interests of the public family will not get along with them, and Aunt Guan is illiterate, she doesn't understand the revolutionary truth at all, and no one recognizes it, but she has the kindness and maternal love of a housewife, and she knows that my mother locked a child less than six years old into the house, and she is nervous.

So, on a desperate morning, Aunt Guan suddenly appeared at our house, stood in the middle of the courtyard, and greeted my father heartily. Guan Damiang's wide face and kind eyes seem to me to be like Guanyin Bodhisattva wearing Caixia. After Aunt Guan finished greetings, she picked me up and left, and talked to my mother as she walked: "Go to work with Auntie, let's not stay at home by ourselves, who wants to stay with whom." "My mother came out of the house when she heard the sound, and she wanted to stop it, but her father stopped her, so she got off the donkey, didn't say anything, and went to work behind me and Aunt Guan's buttocks.

After this incident, my mother and Aunt Guan seem to be better than before, two people, you care about me, I care about you, and you are cold and warm all day long. I was too far away from the pastry box to come any closer.

In the blink of an eye, in the winter of that year, the Spring Festival was approaching, and the number of people who came to the non-staple food store suddenly increased, and every household prepared in advance for the Spring Festival to visit relatives and friends, and bought more than a dozen catties of peach crisp longevity cakes. My mother and Aunt Guan were so busy that they didn't even have time to drink water, and the kraft paper rope hanging on the beam to bandage the snacks was spinning, and several bundles were used up in the morning. At that time, there was a lot of sales, so it was necessary to buy them frequently, sometimes twice a day. My mother and Aunt Guan took turns to go, pulling a two-wheeled flatbed car, more than a dozen iron food turnover boxes were stacked high, in order to save effort, but also to put a strap in the middle of the handlebar on the chest, the body can also use force, go to the food processing factory to pass by a railway bridge, when you go to it, you can wait, wait until you come back, the car is loaded with one or two hundred pounds of snacks, without a strap can not go up at all. Every time it was my mother's turn, she was afraid that I would run around, so she took me and let me sit in the back of the car by leaning on the turnover box, and when I came back, I followed behind, passing by the railway bridge, and seeing that my mother was struggling, I wanted to help push, and every time I would be scolded by her: go to the side! Stay away! At that time, I thought my mother's temper was too bad, but now that I am a mother, I understand that I am afraid that if I can't bear it, I will let go and the car will slide down and press the child.

I remember one time, my mother pulled a cart full of snacks, and walked slowly on the long slow slope of the railway bridge, and after going up, I listened to my mother's earth-shattering cough from a distance. When I got on the railroad bridge, I saw my mother curled up on the ground, her face pale, her hands, chin, and the placket of her clothes covered with blood. I didn't know what was going on, but I thought my mom was going to die and cried in fright.

"What are you crying about!" My mom yelled at me.

On a cold day in the north, there were few pedestrians on the road, and there was no one on the remote railway bridge, so my mother no longer cared about me and let me cry in the cold wind. I peeked into her, and I saw that my mom also had tears in her eyes, full of horror.

On the way back, my mother deviated from the wrong path, took a detour to a family home, tidied herself up by the public sink in the yard, and continued to walk back with a cart full of snacks, telling me as she went: Don't talk to others.

For the whole afternoon, I sat honestly on the small bench and looked at my mother through the counter uneasily, for fear that if I turned my face, my mother would look at it again, and her face would be covered in blood as if she was on the railway bridge. My mother had a sallow face, pursed her lips, her hands flew up and down, and she was constantly busy, wrapping, tying, and biting the rope.

My mom didn't make dinner, and when she got home, she lay down. The meal was cooked by my father, who was the director of the Public Security Bureau, and I put it next to my bed when it was ready, and told my mother to eat in a good voice. As soon as my father got off work, I told him that my mother vomited blood, my father was startled, and Zhang Luo went to the hospital with my mother, my mother was blindfolded in the bed, but she didn't say anything, my father had no choice, so he cooked first. I couldn't call my mom to eat, so my dad tried to tear the quilt open, and as soon as he lifted a corner, I stood aside and saw my mom kneeling on the bed under the covers, hunched over her back and her head against the bed. As soon as my dad was about to speak, my mother's roar with a crying urn came from the bed: Get out!

My dad lifted the corner of the quilt and stopped in mid-air, paused, and slowly put the quilt back in place. Then, with the foresight surname of an old public security officer for many years, he asked me to go out to eat, saying that if I didn't eat again, it would be cold. Before I turned around and walked out, my mother lifted the quilt to the ground in a hurry, and sat on the bed when she got up, and saw my mother who had been covered in the quilt for a long time, her hair was messy like a madman, her face was pale, and her eyes were red and swollen. The image of the angry mother sitting on the bed was deeply imprinted in my mind, so that later I doubted the height of my elderly mother, the elderly mother was 1.55 meters, far less tall than I remembered, at that time I remember that my mother was much taller than my father who stood on the ground and was 1.8 meters tall, and now I think about it, my father was completely overwhelmed in front of my mother.

"You're satisfied! Rise? Do you want me to die? They all say that you are honest, you have an honest face, you are an honest fart! Black-hearted rotten intestines!. ”

"You think you can press me down, and you can go up? If you don't use it, you don't use it, you kill others, and you are useless! ”

"To be a broken director or deputy, phew!" ……

My dad had a black face and didn't say a word. Seeing that I was still standing on the side, he quickly pushed me outside and gently closed the door. But my mother's angry scolding still came out sonorously.

"Do you know it's a shame? Let the child in, let her listen, and know what his father is! ”

After this time, I have never seen my mother so careless and hysterical. That time, my mother's emotions were completely unprecedentedly cathartic, really like a shrew, other people's family quarrels, you come and go, you are strong and I am strong, my father and my mother quarrel is standard one-sided, from beginning to end it is my mother's movement, my father is silent.

"You're a fart, tell me about your lack of morality!"

The reason for my father's quarrel has always made me very curious, what did my father do that made my mother grit her teeth like this, and then I was a little older, I asked my father, and my father perfunctory me: What's the matter, listen to your mother's nonsense. Later, my mother told me, it turned out that my mother had been recuperating at home since she came out of the sanatorium, and gave birth to me when she was a little better, and after giving me a hundred days, my mother took me to live in my grandmother's house in the countryside for a few months, and at that time, the city began to send cadres to the countryside to support the construction of a new countryside. My mother and grandmother were drying quilts in the yard, and the village chief brought the wood with people beating gongs and drums, and each piece of wood was tied with red silk. In the following decades, what I admired most about my mother was that whenever she encountered a major event, her mother had the ability not to be surprised by changes, and she had the courage to break the boat. The timber with the red silk was neatly stacked in the yard of my grandmother's house, and my mother told my grandmother that she wanted to go back, so she carried me into the car home. When the bus arrived at the station and got off the bus, my mother went to the commune by herself. Arrived at the office of the secretary of the commune.

"I have no opinion on participating in the construction in the countryside, why didn't I get my opinion?"

"It's Lao Zheng who gave you the name, we think the two of you have discussed it?"

"Lao Zheng is Lao Zheng, I am me, if I make any mistakes, you send me to the countryside without saying a word, I didn't say anything, I can't do it now, I can't figure it out."

"Comrade Lao Ma, don't think so, it is a very honorable thing to go to the countryside to participate in labor, and it has nothing to do with whether or not you make mistakes, many cadres have enthusiastically signed up, and some conditions are not enough to go!"

"Really? None of them have enough conditions, just one has enough conditions for long tuberculosis. Okay, I won't say anything else, I'm a party member, as long as I serve the people, I can do the same everywhere. I came back this time to pack up my things, I don't have any requirements, I ask the organization to help me solve my worries, and serve the people wholeheartedly, what about this child in my hand, I am bored, and the other is that I can't do it, you help me strangle it! ”

My mother put me on the desk of the commune secretary and turned around and left, and the commune secretary chased after my mother and shouted: "Old Ma, what are you doing here, you stop!" ”

My mom didn't even look back as if she hadn't heard.

As soon as my mother arrived home, the commune secretary sent Accountant Liu from the commune to carry me to the house. My mom locked the door and unpacked the quilt at home. Accountant Liu knocked on the door for a long time, but he couldn't open it, so he had no choice but to carry me back to the errand. In the evening, my dad came back with me in his arms. When I got home, my dad began to mumble that my mother was backward in thinking, leaving the children in the commune, and threatening the leaders not to work in the countryside.

My mom was breastfeeding me while walking around the house.

My dad saw that my mother didn't pick up the stubble, thinking that my mother knew that it was the loss, so he wanted to take the opportunity to gain the upper hand and educate my mother: "What's wrong with going to the countryside, it's close to my father and mother, and watching the children is not better than you listening to people gossip here?" ”

"Oh? And gossip? Why didn't I know? ”

My mom put me back on the bed, gently patted me to sleep, and asked slowly.

"So that you hear it or gossip? Who told you mocking!"

"And how do you know?"

"What Lao Luo said"

"Say what?" ……

"It's not that you, you are not in good health, you don't go to work just for your salary, you can give birth to a child, and you are still pretending to be sick at home."

My mom was still sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me fall asleep when I was full. It's just that the anger in my heart slowly burned, burning more and more, until it burned to the face, and the face burned red.

"The child is asleep, you are watching at home, I will go out"

"Where are you?"

My mom went out of the room as if she didn't hear it, my dad was stunned for a moment, quickly got up and chased after her, caught up with my mom in the yard, and grabbed her: "Say! Where to go? Are you going to find Lao Luo? ”

My mom shook her arms and shook off my dad: "Who am I not looking for him?" I'm going to see who's throwing dirty water on me, get out of the way!" ”

"Oops! Forget it, you're making a fuss, and you're losing your face! ”

"What? The surname is Zheng, you say it again! ”

"Say what! Am I not right? The organization asks you to work in the countryside, and you eat public food, why don't you go? ”

"Organizationally let me go? Was it organized for me to go? It was you and the guy surnamed Luo who let me go! Shame on you? Why am I disgraced to you? Tell you! I joined the revolution earlier than you, I am higher in rank than you, can I lose your face? ”

"Don't go then! You give me the honesty to stay at home!

"Get out of the way!"

"Don't get out of the way!"

My dad was clinging to the courtyard gate, and my mom couldn't get out, so she was so anxious to go around the yard.

"What right do you have to keep me from going? I'm not a housewife, tell you, I'm not! ”

"It's still old Luo Lao Luo, he can sleep in a quilt with the little wife of the Kuomintang, he is not a good thing!"

"Why didn't he let anyone go, but let me go, you don't want to think about it, he is a big man's family gossip, you believe it. People also say! I think it's him! ”

"He is the scum mixed in the [***] team, under the banner of the public, and the personal vendetta is announced!"

My dad heard this sentence and retorted: "You don't talk nonsense, what kind of enmity do I have with Lao Luo?" ”

"What hatred? The eldest son in his front nest is going to work at your public security bureau, didn't you say that he was a second-rate person who stopped him?"

"And I said he was a second-rate man? He is! Besides, that is also the decision of the party committee, and I am not alone in the final say."

"There's no one in the dormitory who doesn't know, why do you just say it? Just as you can! How capable you are! I offended someone and let my wife and children stand on the bar! ”

"You don't have to contact here, the name is reported by me, and it has nothing to do with others!"

"You name it, you go!" ……

It would be nice if I could hear them quarrel like this in my infancy, because in my memory, I have heard my parents quarrel countless times, but I have never heard my father speak, he always has his head down, his face is black, at most he can go around the house, it looks quite pitiful.

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