Fat Zitao nodded, "Well, now that I have experienced and seen so much, I am a little scared, I am not the same as Liu'er." ”

"What do I say, I don't lie, people are good to me, sincere to me, I want to be better to others, more sincere, you know, I used to be a timid, cowardly, afraid of the standard of good students, you said that I studied hard every day, was admitted to a key high school, and was bullied by everyone in high school, because I was honest, they let me do anything, and I would not refuse."

"I always give them laundry, I live a life of 150 yuan a month, they all live a life of 100 yuan a week, those boarding students who follow me always have family members to come to see, people drive, with a lot of things, but I have nothing, because the traffic at our house is not convenient, and the place is very remote, even if it is express, it takes my mother to walk for more than half an hour or even an hour to pick it up on the side of the road at the entrance of the village."

"I'm still very good in the village, because I'm the only college student in the village, all the people are very happy, my mother said when she met people, I was admitted to the university, and the people in the village are also passing on it, the son of the Xiao Long family was admitted to the university, and the people in the village have a big foundation for universities and junior colleges, and even Tsinghua University and Peking University are collectively referred to as universities."

"They all know that I went to college, so I have a lot of vanity, in fact, to be honest, in fact, it's nothing, I don't have anyone, it doesn't matter, I was admitted to the score line of three books, but I can't go to undergraduate, I have hundreds of points better than you, I go to the same university as you, you all don't study in high school, play every day, either ask someone, or find a relationship, and go to such a formal junior college, but I worked hard step by step with hard work, and I studied hard for ten years."

"After going to a junior college, I found out that it is so difficult to survive in the outside society, let alone college students, there will be a few ** children in our class, the family is very rich, the exam is only more than 100 points, two hundred points, actually let the key university, people have money at home, there are relationships, so I really don't know what to do, I lost confidence in life for a while, I want to continue to go to junior college, after graduating from the junior college, I will continue to take the exam, specialize, and then study for graduate school, master's degree, doctorate, The people in my family have planned everything very well for me, but they have ignored my own feelings, and I don't know how much perseverance and confidence I have. ”

"I just know that I will feel that life is better than death, after I went to college, I was still cowardly, everyone bullied me, the dormitory I was in before, they asked me to fetch water every day, buy them food, wash their clothes, let me buy it when the dormitory was nothing, and they didn't give me money. For example, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, messy small items, I only have a few hundred yuan a month for living expenses, they have more living expenses than me a week, and they look down on me. ”

"They bullied me, and if I was a little upset, they would beat me up, and I was always beaten, but I never fought back. Actually, I feel like I'm getting used to it. ”

"I was a son and a nanny for them every day from that dormitory, and then because one of the children, a very good friend, was coming for the third time, they kicked me out of the dormitory and told me to get out, I had no choice but to go to the dormitory teacher by myself, and the dormitory teacher also looked down on me, I could see from his eyes, saying that everyone is equal, it is all fart nonsense, why people are so unequal from birth, why I have to be bullied and discriminated against. Why do I only get a score in three books but can only go to one broken college, why I have worked hard for so many years, why is it not as good as the school that people eat and drink every day, why are they always bullying me when I am the same person?"

Fat Zitao said this, a little excited, and then he took out a few beers from under the counter, opened them, handed one to me and Bo Long, and drank it himself, "I always thought that forbearance could be solved, but I was wrong, my forbearance can only be exchanged for their intensification." ”

"I don't know if they still have humanity, whether they still treat me as a human being, they kicked me out of the dormitory, they asked me to fetch water, wash their underwear and underwear, these things didn't improve until you came."

"You taught me what self-esteem is, taught me to learn self-love, taught me the dignity of a man, I followed you to experience the first fight in my life, I can only feel in your eyes that you treat me as a friend, treat me as a brother, I am very moved."

"I've been working hard to change myself, I started to hit people in the mouth and I was trembling, now I don't feel anything even if I stab someone, you know, what we've experienced for nearly a year is something I can't think of after living for more than 20 years, I transitioned from a student to a social gangster, and I entered such a big organization in a daze, watching this organization from so prosperous at the beginning, to the current defeat, sometimes I can't sleep and think, It felt like I was in a dream. ”

"I saw with my own eyes scenes that were previously only visible on TV, I saw guns, I saw all kinds of murderous methods in society. I saw the shocking scars on Xiaoqian's body, and I may not be able to go down for the rest of my life. ”

"I saw Shen Feng shoot Zhao Tian and beat him to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, I saw drugs, I saw countless bloodstains, every time I got money in my hand, I felt that the money in my hand was heavy, it came really fast, but every time we fought it back by ourselves, I saw with my own eyes that someone wanted to put us to death, I saw with my own eyes the knife stabbed at my body, I witnessed too many things that I once dared not think of, I witnessed many legends with my own eyes."

"When I go back to our village and tell everyone about what I've been through, everyone will think I'm crazy. No one would believe it, but I've really been through so much. I looked at the Zhao Tian who used to show off his might, the boss of Liangdu, and now his life is ruined like this. I looked at Tie Gang who was joking and playing with us, and I was sentenced to life imprisonment at once. ”

"I looked at Zhao Bo, I don't know how, he became the other party's person, I witnessed too many impossibilities, I witnessed too many incredible, I thought, if one day I write these things I experienced into a book, will anyone read it, I suddenly feel like a frog at the bottom of the well, what I can see, what I can touch, will always be the sky I can face."

"Now Bei Tian is going to collapse, although you don't say it, but everyone knows that filial piety comes first, I know it's not good for me to say these things now, but I can't help but say it, I don't want to continue on this road, I want to leave this circle and live an ordinary life, I'm really not suitable for these vigorous, I'm really afraid of this kind of life, that day we were in the car, a bullet came in just ten centimeters from the side of my face, I could even feel the sensation of bullets whizzing past my face. ”

"I wondered at the time, am I playing a police movie, to tell you something practical, such a day is a bit scary, and the life of hanging my head on my belt every day is really not for me."

"You are all my brothers, the only person in this life who treats me sincerely except for my parents, and the only few friends in my life, I can't bear you, but I really don't want to live like this, I'm tired of this life, I was originally a child of a peasant family, my biggest wish now is to be able to sleep a few restless sleep, and the life I envy the most now is to be able to return to our village, farm, take care of my filial parents, wait for marriage and children, and live a quiet life with our family."

"I've been thinking about these words for a long time, but I don't know how to tell Brother Feng, I'll tell you the truth, I'm still the closest person to you, I want to hear your opinions, help me think about it, how should I tell Brother Feng, don't ask me questions about my decision that I didn't decide, I tell you, I decided. I'm going to leave this circle, go home to farm, honor my parents, and I don't want to live like this anymore. ”

"I really can't bear you, I don't want to go, but I don't know what to do. I am the only child in our family, all my parents' thoughts are on me, I am not suitable for this road, it is really not suitable, I am afraid, I can't show it yet, the person who walks this road, the person who can stand in the highest position in the end, there are a few people whose hands are not stained with blood, and a few people who do not have a bunch of enemies. ”

"How much sadness behind their glory is only known to them, but how long can they be glorious, when we first came to Beitian, Beitian is so indispensable, and the entire county can not find a more popular business place than here, we eat, drink, play, and have fun all day long, and occasionally follow to rub, you will get a lot of money to spend, this casual money, sometimes it is the income of our entire family for a year, walking outside is also showing off, once I didn't dare to see the luxury, now I want to buy without looking at the price, But how long can such days last? ”

"I've seen through too much, I've never been able to stand at the height of Shen Feng or Li Feng in my life, to be precise, I can't even reach your height."

"I'm a naturally timid person, every time I fight, or after doing something, I will be afraid of not sleeping well for several days, sometimes I have nightmares at night, I don't say anything, I always thought I could adjust these well, but I just realize now that I have no way to control these at all, I shouldn't be a person on this road, I don't want to continue here, while I still have some savings, I'm still able-bodied, I might as well go home, go back to us, and do some small business, Plain and bland, live a quiet life. ”

"I don't want glory and wealth, I just want to be plain." Fat Zitao said so much in one breath, and after finishing speaking, he smiled at us, "I have a very clear position for myself." Look, how did I analyze? After the fat man finished speaking, he continued with a smile: "I'm not holding back, it's that I can't really help here." I want to leave, but I'm really reluctant to let you go, and I don't know how to tell Brother Feng."

All of a sudden, it was very, very quiet, and all three of us were silent, and not a single one spoke. After being quiet for a long time, Bolong slowly raised his head and looked at Fat Zitao, "Are you leaving?" ”

[PS: The twenty-third more outbreak is over, daughter-in-law, happy birthday, I love you. Bless all lovers in the world to become married. Happy, happy, every day. 】