After going through so many things, Sun Liping is ready to go home to visit her idle father, since she went to college, she has not returned to this home for a long time, looking at everything she is familiar with, and she has some emotion in her heart.

The house is still as simple as usual, and there are some calligraphy and paintings hanging on the wall, all of which are inscriptions of some contemporary writers and literati, and the highest value is only a few hundred yuan, and they are all given by them on their own initiative.

Walking into the house, Sun Liping didn't see her father's figure, and saw that the light in the study was still on, Sun Liping quietly walked over, only to see her father wearing reading glasses, fiddling with the pennant sent by the society, while fiddling, muttering something to herself.

In addition to the pen holder, there are several yellowed old books neatly displayed on the desk, and in addition to this is a picture frame, which is framed with a photo of the mother and father when they got married, the black and white picture is somewhat out of place in the study, but it records the happy moment of the newlyweds in the revolutionary years.

The mother is beautiful, delicate and gentle, and the father is young and elegant, both of them are a little shy, but they are such a perfect fit.

The father took the pennants and folded them carefully, piled them together, and there was a box on the ground, which was already full of pennants, and my father folded and folded them, and finally all of them were pressed into the full cardboard box, and his wrinkled hands pressed hard before he covered it and picked up the tape and sealed it.

Seeing this scene, Sun Liping felt a little uncomfortable in her heart, she knew very well that her father had been teaching for so many years, never for these honors, compared to these, he could enjoy a day or two when he saw the students admitted to a good university, and sometimes he would even drink a few sips of wine by himself, as if his children had a chance.

On the contrary, these pennants were heavy in his hands, packed in boxes and sealed, and were the best place for his father to go.

"The more honors my old bones have, the more difficult it will be for Lao Yan and them to carry out their work in the first middle school in the future." The father muttered in his mouth, but this sentence made Sun Liping's heart sour when he heard it.

Director Yan is the acting principal of No. 1 Middle School, and it is no surprise that he will be the principal of No. 1 Middle School in the future, but in the past few days, Director Yan has been trembling, afraid that there is something that is not in place, or that he is not doing well enough, or that something will happen in or in the school, for Director Yan, the more praise his father gets, the more difficult his work will be.

People always have a comparison mentality, and they will compare the new appointment with the predecessor, but Sun Liping never thought of this, and now she understands the reason, sometimes her father thinks about things more than her.

"Reputation, reputation, some people are just pressed by reputation for a lifetime and can't breathe, those who don't get it are envious, but those who get it know that they are bitter." Father muttered.

Thinking that in the past few days, her father has not left the house for half a step, Sun Liping is a little disappointed for her original persuasion, for many people, these reputations are a kind of recognition, but they are also a responsibility, and my father seems to just want to enjoy his old age, and he doesn't want to be burdened by fame.

But at the beginning, he felt worthless and even angry that his father was removed from his post and replaced Canglong by the black cauldron, and felt that his father was too honest.

During this period of time, the honors given by all walks of life and the thank-you banquet were all rejected by her father, although Sun Liping did not say it on the surface, but in fact she was a little unhappy, feeling that this was what her father deserved, but she never thought about whether these honors father cared, as a daughter, she seemed to only care about her own feelings, but ignored her father's feelings.

Even at some times, she felt that her father was too old-fashioned, why did she not receive the honor she deserved, and she also called to persuade her father on behalf of others, but her father sternly rejected it, and several times she secretly became angry with her father, and this anger is even very bad now.

But when she went home today and heard her father's words, she suddenly felt a little guilty in her heart, as a daughter, she boasted that she knew her father's personality very well, but she never cared about her father's feelings.

The more you grow up, the more you are like this, always using your own subjective thoughts to force the old man to do certain things, thinking that it is for the good of the old man.

It's like when you were a child, parents forced their children to do certain things, in the case of parents, it was for the good of their children, and when their children honored the elderly, most of the time they forced the old people to do certain things, but they never cared whether the old people needed it, or whether they wanted it.

After packing the pennant, my father put a box of so-called honors in the cabinet in the study, and then returned to the desk, staring blankly at the photo on the table.

The father took off his reading glasses, picked up the wedding photo that witnessed the revolution and the marriage, his hands trembled involuntarily, he stroked the mother above, and looked at her smile as if his mother was still alive.

This scene was often seen when she was young, but whenever she saw her father's smile, she would say fiercely in her heart, why don't you care about her when your mother is there? Instead of losing it, he regretted it, and even at some point, he felt that his father was not worthy of looking at his mother's photos.

But today, seeing the smile on her father's face, she felt the deep guilt and self-blame behind the smile.

"Yuling, in my life, the most sorry thing is that you still have Liping, this child has not been waiting to see me from the bottom of my heart since you left, fortunately, she is now grown up and sensible, I know that I can't ask too much of her, and I am not qualified to ask too much of her, now that I am retired, I just want to do my last duty as a father, I hope to see her get married, see her get married, see her have children, so I am satisfied." The father chattered, but suddenly he held the photo tightly, trembling all over his body and said, "I regret it, I regret why I listened to you in the first place, why I regret why I didn't rush to the hospital in the first place, why why"

Looking at her father's appearance and her shaking body, Sun Liping's mind suddenly swirled, regret? I regret listening to my mother's words, did my mother say anything to my father when she was in the hospital?

Her first thought was to ask her father what was going on.

"It would be great if you were still alive," the father sighed, "You can see Liping grow up, see her get married, see her have children, and see her filial and well-behaved."

Sun Liping did not rush up to question her father, because she had already got an answer, in the memory of childhood, her father was very good to her mother, her father was a Chinese teacher, gentle and elegant, and her demeanor was biased, the two of them could be said to have gone through hardships and hardships all the way, from her birth to the death of her mother, she had never seen her parents quarrel, and the family had always been harmonious.

I remember when I was a child, my mother hugged her and told her the most poignant and unforgettable story, the original rebels forced the door of the house and pulled my father out for criticism. Fighting, forcing people to kneel, my father endured it, and in those most difficult days, they still survived, and my parents never neglected their inner life because of external reasons, until the reform and opening up, the wheel of history rolled forward, and she was born.

The country resumed the college entrance examination, and his father became the first batch of intellectual young people who were admitted to university, and his mother was also a scholar, but at that time, because she was pregnant, she did not take the college entrance examination.

But after she was born, she had the happiest time, her father graduated and entered the newly restored Dongning No. 1 Middle School, became a Chinese teacher, and would go home almost every day.

But as time passed, my father's days at home became less and less, and many times he spent time at school, just because of one word, busy, because his students were facing the college entrance examination.

So for a certain period of time, Sun Liping hated the college entrance examination and her father's group of students, until the moment when her mother accumulated a disease and died in the hospital, her father was still busy and had no time to take care of her mother and take care of this family, and Sun Liping buried this hatred deep in her heart.

When her father returned, her mother's funeral had already been completed, and she saw that his father had not shed even a single tear, and she hated his ruthlessness and indifference.

But now that I think about it, I realize that her deep-seated hatred made her completely lose her mind, making her forget that her mother was on the verge of death, and she didn't forget to tell her, don't blame your father.

And when she was not critically ill, her mother never complained about her father even a word, she always talked about her father's goodness, and she talked about it

Father lied to her, from the moment her mother died, in fact, when her mother was critically ill, the saddest thing was not her, but her father, in that critical moment it was her mother who asked him to stay in school, because her mother knew that she was not good, compared to the students who were facing the most important moment of deciding their lives, her condition was no longer very important, Sun Liping suddenly realized why her mother still had a happy smile on her face when she left, even if her man did not come to see her off for the last ride.

At this moment, Sun Liping couldn't imagine that this was her mother's decision, but when she recalled that her father was holding her mother's posthumous image, and her father was indifferent and had no expression, she understood.

In fact, it's not indifference, it's just a man who suppresses the pain of losing his favorite in his heart, and reveals strength, because he needs to give his daughter who is still growing up a father figure.

I don't know when, Sun Liping looked at her father holding the wedding photo, and suddenly burst into tears, she blamed her father for so many years, but her father never blamed her, and even lived alone with deep guilt for her all the time.

She didn't bother her father's musings, she came quietly, and left quietly, and when she walked out the door, she suddenly wanted to cry, but she couldn't.

All the way back to the apartment, the whole person was in a daze, she even forgot to take the elevator, as if to punish herself, she took the stairs When she reached the floor, she suddenly crouched down and sobbed.

Until he saw Canglong, he couldn't help crying

PS: Mu has forgotten, and there are still two chapters owed