The second is that the story in the book is still the opposite of crying... One

Zhang Wufeng subconsciously imagined this scene, and suddenly he felt that this reader "Yun Xingfengli" seemed to have almost the same name as that neurotic superpower powerhouse, could these two people be related?

This idea was only thought about for a while, and Zhang Wufeng gave up. [No pop-up novel network]

At the moment, whether there is or not, it doesn't really mean much.

Exhaled lightly, Zhang Wufeng closed the web page, Zhang Wufeng opened it, this communication software, he hadn't used it for a long time.

After opening it, a lot of messages came, including editors, readers, authors, and former friends.

And among these, there are also some requests from some friends who have been deleted in a fit of anger to take the initiative to add friends.

After Zhang Wufeng replied to these messages one by one, he saw the icon of the space from his avatar, and thinking of Fang Weiming's words, Zhang Wufeng opened his space with a deep groan.

In the space, there are not many diaries written down. There are only less than thirty articles.

And these thirty diaries are from the good year to the side, including the ups and downs of the past six years, that is, on average, every year, there are five words left.

Zhang Wufeng from the very beginning. I saw the last one, in which the initial happiness, Kanke, and the struggle are all vivid.

Scenes of the past flashed in Zhang Wufeng's mind, and then gradually dissipated.

And the last diary was written before the divorce from Yang Xiaolan, when his father had not left. A diary that Zhang Wufeng named Hetu.

"There are some things I don't understand, I really don't understand.

My parents were very nice to me, but I, I'm ashamed, I always want to be nice to them, but what the hell am I doing now?

It seems that it would be better to be more harsh on my parents, what has become of me like this? Let her blame them? Is this the selfish me?

I don't know why this is the case. Maybe I've always been like this, never taking my parents' lives to heart. I'm not a thing.

I'm ashamed, I repent, why I always can't bear to hurt her and choose to back down, and I have repeatedly backed down, I have really done it to the extreme. Doing so much, so caring and considerate of her. In exchange for her incomprehension? And then it's just hitting me for no reason, running on me? Or even against the sky? I can tolerate all this, I can tolerate some or any kind of grievance, in front of her, I am like this.

So, in front of my parents, how am I? I ignored them, even when they were wronged and blamed by her. I didn't even stand up and say anything. Which is more important, parents or her? Is it so obvious now?

I'm so amazing, I despise myself and look down on myself like this.

But why can't I be ruthless? Why? Why?

Is this what love is called? Is this called cowardice, incompetence?

But if I don't care about her, why would I tolerate her so much?

It's just, does she really have what I care about that much? This answer, put it before, that is for sure. The mother is undoubted.

But now, what kind of answer is it? The answer is no.

What is left of the simplicity or gentleness and thoughtfulness of the past?

I found out that women can't get used to it, and the more you get used to it, the less you will be a woman in the future.

What are those? I can't have sex once a few days, for the sake of the child, I can only beg for it, beg for the past, or not succeed.

It's not a big deal. It doesn't matter, if you really can't conceive a child, if you continue like this, then, "Maybe it's time to find someone to replace you!"

No wonder it is said that the worse a man is, the more he is loved by a woman.

The more you coax, the more you feel pained, and the more you put it in the palm of your hand for fear of melting, the more uncomfortable, heart-wrenching, and heartbreaking.

Am I not human? What is the point of basically losing her dignity in front of her? Want to take it to the next level?

I didn't want to hurt her, I cared about her, so I hurt myself.

Isn't it that I don't know how to defend dignity, punch and kick, is it human? Why am I afraid of her being angry, is it worth it? Take it by force. What's that?

I always think that I have nothing to do, I make less money, and I don't know how to grow.

What is growth? Some things have been put in the heart for a long time, and there is no need to deliberately put them on your lips and say them. What's the point?

I have a standard of self-evaluation in my heart, and I also have my own territory and secrets.

At the beginning, I was scared and painful, and I didn't want to show the vicissitudes and waste anymore. That kind of life is even more meaningless.

Love, why put it in the first place!

There's a lot more to do.

Be kind to your parents, be a filial son, and then suffer a little harder, stick to your cultivation, make money, and hope that everything can get better.

If

Alas, forget it. It doesn't matter, just do what you want. ”

When I saw this diary, I thought of the horror I had at the beginning. Zhang Wufeng's mood couldn't be calmed for a long time.

Perhaps, at the beginning, just

See this journal. Zhang Wufeng subconsciously thought that if he was still so sleepy and sad, and Yang Xiaolan hadn't been sick at the beginning. If she had lived well in the Huang family, what would have been the result now?

This idea came to me after this last diary entry.

I thought about it. Zhang Wufeng opened Yang Xiaolan's space and looked at her space diary.

She doesn't have many space diaries, and some of the previous messes have been deleted, and the rest are some more bland feelings and some more reasonable things that are reprinted.

And the most recent article is a short diary written by Yang Xiaolan after she made a phone call before.

"It's been a long time since I've felt a real heaviness, I thought I could forget my little deep knowledge of the world with the mentality of not caring about the game life, but I failed somewhat, and that heavy and empty mind once again filled my empty body, filled with blood, and then wandered around my whole body, making me feel extremely desolate and afraid.

I just talked to a man who gave me a deep memory for a lifetime. After putting down the phone, an inexplicable sadness swept over my body and mind, and my lost and hesitant state of mind awakened from the depths of my soul again.

Whether it's missing him or being obsessed with love, it makes me feel sad when I'm alone.

There are some things that I really can't forget,

Something. I really can't forget.

In the face of everything in life, I really haven't thought about a very deep problem for a long time, simple life, can make me have a lot of smiles, have a very straightforward state of mind, there is no so-called intrigue and deceit, let me feel that life is actually very colorful.

However, as the evolution of my thoughts began to deepen gradually, my face began to look serious. My heart also began to feel tired, and once I thought too deeply about life, a lot of pain followed.

I'm not trying to run away from a lot of problems, I'm just trying to grasp what I can grasp in life.

Although the distant future often comes very quickly and ruthlessly, I still feel that they are so distant and ethereal, I think and don't want to, in fact, I can't help it.

I don't want to be sentimental, but sentimentality still keeps ravaging me, making me stranded and sad.

Facing and forgetting, the heart will be bound again and again.

Heart, really tired, memory, always clear.

The blood-colored remnant sun, the fiery red sky.

It seems that tomorrow, it will rain again.

Seeing this, Zhang Wufeng suddenly died down.

His assumptions. It didn't hold.

The fact of the matter is that she is now. is obviously different from her in the past.

The touch of the soul made Zhang Wufeng feel that he was really flesh and blood, instead of with the strength and growth of strength, everything was covered up under the strong and excessive self-confidence, but he lost his affection for life.

These should not have existed.

Subconsciously, Zhang Wufeng opened up Su Ru's space.

Although she is not short of money to spend now, but. Her space is still a light blue, still plain and rustic.

Zhang Wufeng looked at her space diary, her diary was also very prolific, so few that there were almost a handful of articles.

These words have evolved from the sadness and grievance at the beginning to the kind of letting go and evolving now. Sublimation, the nature is already completely different.

One of her most recent journals is a diary titled, Dream Dust. I remember once leaving my childhood and realizing that "I, when I existed, I would think very paranoidly about some issues, and then I would always think that it was "profound"

The process of reading a book, from fairy tales, to stories, then to short stories, essays, and then to poetry.

In the days of adolescence, I will always be full of yearning for love and become sentimental, which may be a kind of heart throbbing, a feeling of sadness for the new words, or a little self-righteous. Self-righteous, always thinking that he is standing in front of others, always thinking that he is actually great.

In fact, at that time, how could you understand a real plain life. What's the best?

When I was in high school, I used to read essays and philosophical books more deeply, and then I always liked to struggle with a very silly and naïve question, "Life would not be different without me, what is the meaning of life?" Life is like a dream, like a drop in the ocean, like the dust of the universe, just a few decades, even if it is brilliant, so what? ，

[Dedication]