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(1st Update)

When he turned around, Liu Qingyun held up the little red flag again, slapped his face and said to the group of Japanese tourists waiting to be slaughtered: "Assemble, assemble, let me ask you, do you want to learn to speak Chinese?" We have difficulty communicating with the province---- we can't even pee."

Those Japanese tourists are studious, and they all nodded their heads, "We are willing to learn, Smith Marseille, thank you for your hard work!" ”

Liu Qingyun coughed and said seriously: "Well, I was very lazy and never willing to do loss-making business; But this time, in line with the principle of Sino-Japanese friendship and tireless destruction, I will now teach you a very common Chinese ~ Mandarin for free, this sentence is also the basis for learning Chinese ~ Mandarin, as long as you learn this sentence, whether it is in Hong Kong ~ Hong Kong, or Taiwan ~ Bay, or China ~ the mainland, as long as you walk on the street and shout out to the Chinese ~ Chinese people, you will definitely be warmly welcomed and hospitalized, and become a bridge of Sino-Japanese friendship and a witness of friendship for a long time...... Would you like to learn to work? ”

It took a lot of effort for Liu Qingyun to explain these words to these Japanese tourists. Pen & Fun & Pavilion www.biquge.info

Those Japanese people were excited~ love, especially when they heard that they would be popular wherever they went, they were even more excited, and nodded vigorously: "We are willing to learn, you teach us to work on the ground, private horse race, private horse race!" "That look of gratitude, almost kowtowed.

Liu Qingyun was proud, cleared his throat and said, "Now, get ready---- everyone shouts loudly with me----

All the Japanese tourists were attentive, blinking their hungry eyes, ready to learn.

"Diaoyu Dao is China's work!" Liu Qingyun shouted loudly.

Those Japanese tourists, you look at me, I look at you, and they thought it was a common polite remark, so they shouted together: "Diaoyu Dao is China's work!" ”

Not to mention, these little Japanese are very studious, and their voices are also loud, and dozens of people shout together, which is very deafening.

The other tourists around looked at this side in amazement, "Ahhh

"Yay!" I don't know who was the first to applaud.

Immediately after that, everyone else applauded.

Seeing the thunderous applause, those Japanese tourists thought that everyone was praising them for their good learning, and they were all happy, nodding their heads and "private competitions" non-stop.

“good！ very！ Dead Japanese devils, I didn't discuss it with you! Liu Qingyun muttered, but there was a smile on his face, "You have learned well, remember, go back and shout three times a day in the future, and make sure that your Chinese is the best one!" ”

The Japanese tourists were even more happy, nodding their heads and thanking them non-stop.

"No thanks---- now get ready, I'll take you Japanese guys to see our Chinese zombie -------," Mr. Liu said.

"Zombie ----- corpse, Nani, Soga?" A little Japanese curiosity. Speaking in jerky Cantonese, "Can you eat and work?" ”

"I work on the ground----- work scariably, I scare you into urine, and I work crookedly!"

"Cool crooked?" The Japanese man wondered.

"That's -------" Liu Qingyun scratched his head, "Oh yes, Kemoqi, but Moqi------" Liu Qingyun said in his heart, thanks to your uncle, I have watched AV ------- learned to use prescriptions to hate less!

……

At the door of a "Yizhuang" used for filming in the studio, a shriveled old man was dozing.

"Wake up, Uncle Cai, Kaizi is here!" Liu Qingyun patted the old man and said.

The old man wiped the droppings from the corners of his eyes and saw that it was him, so he said, "You still bring guests here at noon, it's too hard, right?" ”

"If you don't work hard, you can't do it, you have to provide a house and support your family, and I'm afraid you won't even be able to find a wife after you don't make more money!"

"Hehe, it's rare that you are so sensible, not like some young people, so impetuous! Okay, you go in, I'll count! Liu Qingyun beckoned those Japanese tourists to go inside, Uncle Cai counted one, two, three, four, fifty yuan for a ticket, Liu Qingyun could take away twenty yuan, there are more than twenty tourists here, that is, more than four hundred yuan in hand.

Look at the "Yizhuang" in the gloomy atmosphere, the wind gusts, from time to time there are a few night owl calls, and the dark room is full of all kinds of coffins.

Those Japanese hugged their arms one by one, looking scared and curious, and were taken by Liu Qingyun to "visit" inside like fools.

When the group of tourists walked up to a coffin, suddenly, the coffin "swished" upright, the coffin lid snapped open, and a zombie popped out of it!

grinning teeth, scary.

In an uproar, this scene immediately scared this group of Japanese tourists to the point of being "cool and crooked" to the extreme, shouting and dodging backwards, and the timid ones were about to be scared to death.

At this moment, I saw Liu Qingyun unhurriedly take out a yellow cinnabar charm from his pocket, and with a snap, it was pasted on the zombie's forehead.

The zombies that were still dancing their teeth and claws became motionless.

Seeing that everyone was calm, Liu Qingyun explained in Chinese Japanese: "Don't be nervous ----- Soga, this is our ancient Chinese zombie work...... He was restrained by my charm, and now he is very well-behaved...... Sou's four mothers, we work in HK every year to shoot several zombie films, so such zombies are indispensable! And the Mr. Zombie in front of him is even more famous here, and he is a first-class awesome! ”

The Japanese tourists applauded.

Some customers even took the initiative to touch the zombie's body, and when they saw that he didn't move, they shouted: "If you want the West ----- to work, you won't move!" ”

"Take off the spell and he'll move!" Liu Qingyun picked up the spell with his hand, and the zombie immediately opened its teeth and claws again.

The Japanese tourist jerked back, and with a spell, the zombie stopped moving. Those Japanese people thought it was funny, so they picked and pasted it, which made the zombie very "depressed".

At this time, Liu Qingyun took the opportunity to start a business selling charms, opened his pocket, and shouted, "This is a magical spell to work, which can drive away ghosts and evil spirits----- Ya Yan Butterfly!" Ya Butterfly! If you don't buy it, you won't have the land to work-----! ”

Those Japanese tourists were all human heads and pig brains, and they immediately flocked to buy this magical Chinese "charm". I'm afraid that I won't be able to buy it if I buy it late.

A talisman costs thirty yuan, and Liu Qingyun has earned more than six hundred yuan!

When these Japanese tourists finished shopping in Yizhuang and left, at this time, the zombie trapped by the charm yawned, tore off the yellow paper on the door of his head, and revealed a big face, he was none other than Liu Qingyun's -----best friend Tao Dayu.

"Hey, Blackface, how much did you earn this time?" Tao Dayu leaned over and asked.

Liu Qingyun grinned: "Bring the tickets, it's more than 1,000 yuan in total----- how about it, my idea is good, right?" ”

"Pick, what's good? Why don't you play zombie and let me be the director? Tao Dayu said dissatisfied.

"It's not that I don't want to, it's that our conditions are different, look at me, my face is so dark, have you ever seen such a black zombie? Zombies are all white-faced, like you don't wear makeup, your face is snow-white enough----- besides, I look honest and honest, those Japanese will trust me very much when they see me, let you, can you? Liu Qingyun said vigorously.

Tao Dayu was speechless, not to mention, Liu Qingyun's dark appearance does look very "honest", but behind this honesty is cunning------ he plucked himself to pretend to be a zombie, and what is even more pitiful is Wu Qihua, who actually became a "eunuch" outside, no way, who made him skinny, at first glance, he looks like a "dead eunuch"?!

"Okay, don't say more, Wu Qihua is still waiting outside. I'm going to take those Japs for a photo, and I'm going to slaughter them again this time! Liu Qingyun smiled and said, "The hatred of the country and the hatred of the family will be avenged together!" After saying this, Liu Qingyun tidied up his clothes and caught up with the Japanese "lambs" who were about to get lost, "Ariado, this is even more remarkable, it is the black and white impermanence of our China!" ”

"This, the second brother of Guan Public Relations is working!"

"As for this -----," Liu Qingyun pointed to Wu Qihua, who was leaning against the wall and was napping.

Wu Qihua was wearing a eunuch uniform of the Qing Dynasty, holding his hands, and was basking in the sun.

Liu Qingyun kicked him before he woke him up.

Wu Qihua rubbed his nose, looked at the Japanese tourists, coughed, tidied up his eunuch hat, and put on a "smiling face".

Liu Qingyun said, "The fourth wife of Sou, this needs to be grandly introduced, it is the last eunuch in China to work!" ”

"your head, the eunuch will be the eunuch, why is it the last one?!" Wu Qihua muttered dissatisfiedly, "Also, next time, even if you give me how much money, I won't play a eunuch, I can't afford to lose this person-----"

"Qihua, everyone is begging for life! is such a classic and meaningful role as a eunuch, who will you play if you don't play? ------Come on, smoke a cigarette and put out the fire!" Liu Qingyun said with a smile, "You also know, the three of us are not playing now, and we have to pay rent and eat, how can we do it without using our brains and working hard?" ”

"Why not, it's a big deal that next time you come to be a eunuch, I'll be a tour guide!"

"Tao Dayu also said this just now, but the three of us have different images, am I like a eunuch? Not at all! When you take acting class, what does the teacher say, you have to learn to play the role closest to you, then you can get twice the result with half the effort! So, you should still be a eunuch as a promising role! ”

Then Wu Qihua was silent, and he was silent, "Okay, the last time, don't take it as an example!" ”

Liu Qingyun smiled, then turned back to the Japanese tourist and said, "Do more and do more, everyone can take a turn at will, and you can also take pictures of this eunuch and work------! ”

As soon as I heard that I could take pictures with this "costume man", two Japanese female tourists immediately came over with cameras and said, "Hey, private horse race, private horse race, can I take a photo with you?" ”

"Okay, do more!" Wu Qihua posed, a Japanese girl held his arm, and the other took a camera to take pictures.

After the shooting, one of the Japanese girls asked Wu Qihua in half-baked Chinese: "What is the matter with Chinese eunuchs?" ----- trouble? ”

Another woman also took his arm: "Hey, Nadhika? What is a eunuch? ”

Wu Qihua was depressed, so he had to explain with his hands and feet: "The eunuch is ...... Below, work without eggs! ”

The two Japanese girls shook their heads, indicating that they did not understand.

Wu Qihua: "No eggs, I can't work with your field, you understand this?!" "Gesture a circle with your hand and poke it with one finger.

The two Japanese girls suddenly realized, "I want the west!" It turned out to be the four mothers who ---- searched like this! We don't like people who don't have balls, I want to like big balls! ”

Wu Qihua: "It looks like you guys get it. So, now, you and you, each of you work for 300 Hong Kong dollars, and the cost of taking pictures, do you understand? ”

"Huh?" Two Japanese girls with their mouths wide open.

After receiving the money, Wu Qihuale, in fact, there is nothing bad about being a eunuch, it costs 300 yuan to take a photo, and I earned it!

Here, Liu Qingyun saw that Wu Qihua was counting the banknotes beautifully, so he touched his shoulder and said, "Don't slaughter him too hard, I only sell talismans for thirty yuan------

"What's the same, your ghost painting talisman doesn't contain any gold, I'm going to sacrifice hue!" Wu Qihua pouted.

Liu Qingyun was speechless, so he had to call other Japanese tourists again, "Everyone get on the bus, get on the bus and eat seafood, after eating seafood, you get hepatitis, die Japanese devils----- the hatred of the country and the family, now it's time to take revenge!" Because he spoke both Chinese and Japanese, and with a smile on his face, the Japanese thought he was hospitable and kept nodding his head in thanks.

"I'm picking, you're scolding the Japanese again?" Tao Dayu, who had taken off his zombie costume, suddenly appeared behind Liu Qingyun.

"These people are very cheap, don't scold them for being unhappy!" Liu Qingyun said with a smile.

"Whatever you want------- advance me five hundred yuan first!"

"Do what?"

"I asked my girlfriend out on the street!"

"You show off, you don't need to spend money on the street, you see we are also on the street, and we haven't seen anyone collect money from us!"

"You can't keep walking the streets! I'm going to watch a movie, eat McDonald's or something! Tao Dayu said.

"If you want to eat, it's simple----- then go to her house to eat, anyway, it's free to pick up girls, and it doesn't cost money to watch TV with her when there are many people in the family, and no one will take the opportunity to touch her two handfuls and take advantage of it. In short, it doesn't cost money to pick up girls! ”

"Pick, I don't count you! Bring! The two frolicked and divided the money.

At this moment, a person who knew them came panting and said, "Liu Qingyun, Tao Dayu and Wu Qihua----- so you are here." ”

"Hey, what's the matter with us?"

"Don't you know, Chen Xiaotang is looking for you to play a supporting role in the movie "Yitian"!"

"What?" Liu Qingyun and the three of them suddenly opened their mouths in surprise.

The guy who has been scolding himself wants to ...... Enable yourself?!

Pat yourself in the face, "Are we dreaming?" ”

"Of course it's true, what are you lying to? If you don't believe it, rush over and check it out, it's on the set nearby! ”

Liu Qingyun and the three of them came to their senses.

It turns out that everything is true!

Suddenly, the excitement was inexplicable! I almost shouted in my heart: I'm not together, Senior Brother Chen, we misunderstood you!!