Ate for a while. The big lobster said slowly, "I shouldn't have gone to my brother, if I don't look for my brother, I won't bother him." After speaking, the lobster took another sip of wine, "Actually, before I became a soldier again, I began to be very good at expression, and my personality was quite extroverted, you all know mine, let's talk a lot when we are together, but since I became a soldier, I don't know if it's because of the environment, or because of age, I don't want to speak, and I become very autistic, I don't like to communicate with strangers, exchange." The hardships I have suffered in the army are beyond your imagination. The duty of a soldier is obedience, and we only have to obey, and we are not suitable when we first go. I was bullied, I was not less restrained, especially when I was training in the field, it was worse than death, how many times I cried when I lay in the bed at night, I regretted it, I missed home, I missed my friends, but there was no way, I couldn't be a deserter, I couldn't be so cowardly, I really couldn't help it, I forced myself to adapt, forced myself to work hard, there was nothing difficult in the world, I was afraid of people with hearts, and then slowly I gradually adapted. Although I adapted to the life of the army, but I was not happy with the army anymore, and slowly I was not bullied, but I couldn't find friends more and more in the army, and there was no common language with many people, I was very autistic, and there was nothing to make me happy, and then I thought about it maybe this is it, and I will be in the army because I don't like to talk, I feel very arrogant, in fact, I can't be professional, so I have some contradictions with some people, and I am very unsociable in their eyes, It's just that there will be contradictions between this person and others, the contradictions between others and me are all small contradictions, and they can't do anything to me, even if they fight, they are not opponents, but I have always had contradictions with our company commander, and the contradictions between the two of us have been since I was a soldier, he always targets me, and he targets me for no reason, he just looks at me unpleasantly, and I can't afford to provoke him, no matter how he targets me, I can only endure it, because of him, I don't like to talk anymore, and I won't resist him, After all, it's useless to resist, he wants to clean me up, it's too easy, so I can only endure it, in fact, my life there is actually miserable, and my daily training volume is basically twice as much as others, because I am always punished, then I will say I endure it. It's time to exercise, anyway. I just wish I could get out of the army and leave that company commander sooner. ”

"Then I finally had to leave the army. I thought I was going to be liberated, but my family didn't ask me for any consent, let me go to the special forces to continue to serve, I was going crazy, my dad told me, arranged everything for me, if I leave the army now, discharged, it's useless to come back with a placement card, the family has to spend a lot of money on me, and then find a very ordinary job and then live mediocre for a lifetime, the previous two years of suffering in vain, he let me suffer for another two years, saying that everything is arranged for me, let me choose by myself, I thought about it for a night, anyway, I left this company commander, and when I went to the new environment, I learned to adapt, adjust my mentality, and don't repeat this kind of encounter in the army, and the situation in our family is not good now, if I don't continue to serve in the special forces, it is unrealistic to spend a lot of money to find me a job after I am discharged from the army, and besides, not everyone in the special forces can get in. I had to start as a soldier, so I started to serve in the special forces again, although I was very autistic when I was a soldier, I didn't like to communicate with people, but I trained very hard, and I also developed good habits, in fact, to serve in the special forces, there are still a lot of requirements, my dad in addition to helping me take care of the relationship, I myself also work very hard, important special forces, must have a strong psychological quality, remember that night I will sleep in the morgue alone. Or lie down in the bushes infested with many wild beasts and poisonous snakes around and do not move. I like to play with guns, and my marksmanship is still very accurate. Although the shooting accuracy can't reach the level of a sharpshooter, it's no problem to continue to be about 90 rings, not to mention physical fitness, I have become autistic and don't like to talk, sports is my only outlet channel, I like the feeling of sweating, and later, I was really selected to serve in the special forces, and when I entered the special forces, I knew that they often said a sentence when they were soldiers, and the special forces are not deserved. ”

"Let's talk about the simplest examples, mainly divided into professional knowledge training and physical training, professional knowledge training does not need to be explained, light physical training every day two five kilometers of cross-country back guns, backpacks, artillery back rocket artillery, mortars, pull-ups 150X2, push-ups 200X2, sit-ups 200X2, walking duck steps 500 meters X2, frog jumping 500X2, in addition to night training after lights out, in addition to the annual sea training in the Beibu Gulf, 10KM every day. There are many more inhuman trainings that you can't imagine. I just worked hard, and I kept trying. But when I was in the special forces, I learned the previous lesson, and the popularity in it was still very good, although it was not particularly good, but there was no contradiction with friends, with the commander, and with the comrades-in-arms, and everyone got along very happily. Although I am not very old in the special forces, my grades are very good. Therefore, it is also quite valued by our leaders. Special forces have an annual selection. It's called promotion. The special operations team attaches great importance to the upper age limit of the team members, after all, after marriage, both physical strength and reaction ability have gradually begun to decline, I am still very young, and my grades have been good in it, and the popularity is OK, so in the first year of the selection, I was the biggest promotion favorite, but then I didn't have anything to do with it, I just knew, my heart was poured a basin of cold water, I want to prove that I show it to the family, I want to make my parents happy, our family has really not been smooth in the past few years, our captain told me that this time it will not work, and next time, let me work hard, I have a chance every year, and there are many comrades-in-arms to comfort me. I just thought, then keep working hard, and then I still started to work hard, I worked harder than others, and my results have always been the top in the team, and I have carried it until this year, and I thought about what I can do this year. Who knew that the results came down again a while ago, and my various assessment indices were the highest, but in the end there was still no me, I was blinded at the time, and I had a few comrades who had a good relationship with me who were anxious, and a group of people ran to question, and I pulled them to prevent them from questioning, saying that this year would not work. I continued next year, but then our captain couldn't see it anymore, so he asked me to come over and talk to me about it, and at first I was still vague. When he spoke, I felt that something was wrong, I asked what was the inside story, why didn't I take the second place, to put it mildly, our captain was also an anxious person, and then I was anxious, so I told me that I offended people when I was a soldier, and people didn't want me to go up, and it happened that there was a person in this judge who was also a comrade-in-arms with him, what a mess, as soon as I said these words, I understood, I asked who that person was, and our captain inked for a long time, and our captain told me, That person is the company commander when I was a soldier before, he is afraid that I will have an impact on him in the future, he is more than 40 years old, and the connections in the army are very complicated, it is still very easy to deal with a person like me who has no foundation and no background, and according to him, with him, I will never want to be promoted in my life, and then I was quite depressed. After a few days in the army, I was distracted, and then I thought, I want to talk to him. Admit your mistake with him, apologize, and resolve the edge. ”

Speaking of this, the big lobster smiled slightly, "The turning point of the matter is to be here again, I took a leave of absence that day and went out to find him in my original unit, I originally wanted to have a good chat with him, but after he saw me, he was sneering." I endured it at first, and then I wanted to negotiate peace with him, I prepared money, and I wanted to give it to him, but it didn't matter if he didn't take it, and insulted me, and insulted me with righteous words, you said that being a man left a way back for yourself, how good it is to leave a way for others to live, who is willing to commit a crime, willing to be a wanted criminal, they are all forced, he bullies people, bullying is a little too much, and I have endured him for many years, this time I came to him with a heavy burden of humiliation, just to be able to prevent him from embarrassing me again, I want to rise, do a good job, Let my parents be proud of me. But he didn't do it. ”

The big lobster laughed, and his laughter was a little cold, "It's all him, it's all them." Bullying people is not enough. All right. Bully, I couldn't stand it anymore, and the two of us quarreled. The more noisy it became, and his guards came. After I came, he started beating me without saying a word, and the guard, whom I also knew, used to embarrass me together. While beating me, while insulting me, and then even my parents were brought, I didn't fight back at first, and then I couldn't stand it, I fought back, this hand, the backlog of negative emotions in the depths of my heart for many years all emerged, there was no way to control it, I hit his guard first, after a few hits to his guard knocked down, he actually took out the gun, and really hit me, fortunately I reacted quickly, dodged the shot, then my brain was blinded, just desperately, and he hit together, I snatched the gun, and in the process of our fight, I shot him, and it hit him right in the stomach, and turned around and the guard wanted to run, to call someone, and the troops were practicing shooting, and our side was not very obvious. I simply shot the guard to death. After beating both of them, I panicked for a while, and I knew that I had no way out, so I put them in the room and locked the door from the outside. I calmed down and calmed down, and I sneaked out of the troops. I didn't go back to our unit after I got out. I started my life as an outlaw. ”

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