Xie Xiaoman was afraid of death.

She was really afraid of death.

Even if he has read many articles on life and death, and listened to many philosophical discussions about life and death, Xie Xiaoman finally understands a truth.

Wang Yishao said in the "Preface to the Lanting Collection": Therefore, I know that death and life are illusory, and Qi Peng's death is vain.

Xie Xiaoman thought so.

In essence, Xie Xiaoman initially followed Guo Pu to learn the Tao, and he may not have had a long-cherished wish to live forever. This is one thing that all living beings will pursue, and survival is almost an instinct of life.

But this is Xie Xiaoman, who wants to live a long life like this, long live long live long live Xie Xiaoman, but a few days ago, he knew his fate.

Death may be an inevitability. But everyone wants to be able to stay away from it.

On the surface, Xie Xiaoman accepted it very indifferently, and even thought about a lot of things to do in life and his attitude towards death very rationally. But in fact, fear is fear after all, and it cannot become shallow because of the passage of time, but will be more tormenting day after day because of the flow of time.

In the first days, Xie Xiaoman sometimes woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, and then stared at the beam of the room in a daze, wondering if he would die in the next moment.

No, it will not be fatal.

The Yellow Spring is the destination of ordinary people, just like the ghosts encountered in the Yellow Leaf Village, they live in the Yellow Spring, until they are completely forgotten by the people in the yang world, and then they disappear after all.

That's the extension of life.

But she Xie Xiaoman can't. If she dies, she will only be a part of Rouran. There are no more souls.

Not even the ghosts of Huangquan.

This is indeed a sad thing.

But there was no way.

She could only wait day after day for death to come.

It's torture.

Real torture.

I don't know if I'll die the next moment, and I don't know if I'll live tomorrow.

When you talk to someone, you may be disillusioned the next moment. Walk on the road. Maybe the next moment she'd suddenly disappear.

The shadow of death never left her, it was a sword of Damocles hanging over her head, and she didn't know when it would fall.

This torture is too much to endure. Therefore, when she knew the origin of Xia Hua, in addition to fear, Xie Xiaoman felt it. There is also a joy and relief from the bottom of my heart.

No one likes death and embraces it.

Although Gothic aesthetics regards death as the high and low tide of life, Xie Xiaoman has always only appreciated Gothic culture, not chased.

Not to mention. The aesthetics of suicide are completely incomparable to her current situation.

But Xia Hua still brought a trace of joy to Xie Xiaoman, and the reason was actually very simple, because Xie Xiaoman was really tired.

Give it a good time. Perhaps a real relief.

After all, from knowing that death was coming. It's been a few months. The shadow of death has been shrouded, but the sword above his head has no meaning of really falling, this kind of torture makes Xie Xiaoman very unhappy.

It's a real upset.

If you fucking want to kill, kill it, what the fuck does it mean!

This is Xie Xiaoman's heart.

But that's only part of the story.

In terms of temperament, Xie Xiaoman is an independent and almost withdrawn person after all. She believes that she has to rely on herself in everything, but that doesn't mean she will refuse help from others.

She bears it all in silence. But it doesn't mean that she doesn't want others to lend her a helping hand.

She also hoped that a prince dressed in white and white horses would come to her rescue. Far away from her present fate. She also longed for the fairy alchemist to tell her that everything she had experienced was really just a dream, and she didn't have to take it seriously.

Xie Xiaoman waited for a long time, for a few months, but she didn't wait.

Everything is still the same, and the shadow of death still hangs over it.

The most critical thing is.

She had nowhere to run.

If she is chased and killed, she can still flee in all directions, deep in the mountains and wilderness.

If she is terminally ill, she can also follow the doctor's advice, at least know the duration of her life.

But she didn't know anything, just walked alone on the road of life, facing death.

She hated death.

Death means that nothing exists.

It was darkness.

She'd experienced that feeling.

That was the world she stepped into when she first started her practice.

But that's not all the same. Because there is still a flame in the world of Vipassana, and in the darkness of death, there is nothing left, nothing more.

She doesn't like Rouran.

Not only because of the shroud of death, but also because I didn't like the feeling he brought to me.

Sometimes, Xie Xiaoman can feel the soul of Rouran.

The feeling of looking down on all living beings and looking like ants, the feeling of being bored, bored, and bored with everything in the world...... Although Xie Xiaoman is not smart, she also understands that these are all soft feelings.

So Xie Xiaoman hated it!

If you are so loveless, why don't you die!

If you die, I don't have to die!

At least don't die now!

For you, this world may be boring, dry, and boring, but for me, the wind and snow can become poems, laughter and scolding can also become articles, firewood, rice, oil and salt can also be chewed, and piano, chess, calligraphy and painting can also be seen!

If you're tired of living, you'll die! Don't take my life for something you think is boring!

It's not fair!

This is utterly unfair!

And you people...... From the sect and the Central Plains sects, why don't you care! Why didn't anyone come forward to save me!

Scold!

Even the slightest hint of a will would be fine...... Even if it's just to talk about it, lie to me, maybe, I won't feel so lonely......

There was some confusion in my heart.

Xie Xiaoman raised his hand and rubbed his aching chest, raised his eyes, looked at the dilapidated room in front of him, and the old man who had caused such an effect just by releasing his own breath, and smiled contemptuously.

Contempt indeed.

This kind of contempt has not been seen by the Chu madman for many years.

The houses are all broken, and the sound is naturally not small.

The people from the sect hurriedly gathered, and their eyes revealed a little panic.

They helped Chen Taozhi up, looked at the old man in the ruins in front of him, hesitated, and did not dare to step forward.

The old man didn't look at them, he just looked at Xie Xiaoman, feeling her anger.

"You do have a reason for anger, and I don't blame you."

The old man spoke, causing Xie Xiaoman to sneer.

"What? Now, do I need to be okay with my anger? In that case, thank you so much! Xie Xiaoman sneered, unconcealing the sarcasm in his eyes.

The old man smiled: "I originally wanted to say that you are quite bold, you dare to look at me with such eyes, are you not afraid of death?" But if you think about it, you are angry in the face of death, and the anger facing me now is largely resentment that I refuse to act against you? ”

This sentence pierced Xie Xiaoman's heart, but how could she admit it, and immediately sneered: "I, Xie Xiaoman, don't need people like you to save me!" You're all big guys, and you don't look down on the lives of people like me! Besides, you sound like a lot of pomp and circumstance from the head of the sect, but in fact, your cultivation is nothing more than that, even if you really have the heart to save me, I'm afraid it will be difficult to move an inch! Hey! In front of Rouran, what is the difference between you and ants like us? ”

Xie Xiaoman said this very ruthlessly, but he didn't know that this simple nonsense was true.

The old man remembered a lot of past events for a while, and at this time, he looked at Xie Xiaoman, he was very angry, and he raised his hand to slap it with one palm.

Where can Xie Xiaoman hide? For a while, I only felt that the wind and thunder in front of me were changing, if thousands of miles of thunder were pouring, and the body had no time to move, the mighty power of that palm had already come to the front!

Did he die so inexplicably? And didn't die in the hands of Rouran?

A flash of thought crossed his heart, and when Xie Xiaoman thought that he was going to be crushed to pieces by this power in the next moment, the old man suddenly withdrew his hand and withdrew this palm.

In front of you, the peak turns around, and the color is clear.

A drop of cold sweat flowed from Xie Xiaoman's forehead.

Turning around from the moment of life and death again, Xie Xiaoman's gaze at the old man was still not a little afraid, but a little more provocative.

"You don't dare to kill me." Xie Xiaoman smiled cruelly and licked his chapped lips, "My life is soft." In other words, I'm a soft prey, and you don't even dare touch me, do you? ”

The old man was rarely silent, and his face was not good.

"The head of the hospital and the head of the hospital ......"

The people around him did not dare to step forward, they were afraid of the power of the old man's methods, but they were slightly worried about the safety of his old man.

People looked at Xie Xiaoman one after another, not understanding where this woman was sacred, she had such courage that even the old man dared to provoke.

Chen Taozhi also looked at her, he didn't understand more than others, how could this girl, who was still gentle and elegant a moment ago, treat herself very kindly, become like this after a while.

No one could understand what they were saying, and even though they were from the clan, they were still young.

Something has happened in the temple, and something has happened in the world of practice. These things laid the foundation for today's situation, and also laid the fate of Xie Xiaoman.

But these things, people who experienced them at that time were reluctant to mention them, so although the years have passed, these people today really don't know much.

Of course, the old man will not forget.

He remembers exactly what he had done, what he faced, and what he decided.

He walked up to Xie Xiaoman and looked at her condescendingly, his expression as serious as ice.

"You know a lot of things, but obviously, not enough." The old man's voice has a kind of dullness peculiar to the elderly, but it is still like thunder and lightning, even if the sound is not loud, it can directly shake the internal organs of the person, "If you die, your soul will naturally return to Rouran's body." So, you say, do I dare to kill you? (To be continued.) )