When he said that, the thief was like a crazy lion, slamming into Fang Lei's body, and shouted loudly: "Lao Tzu will die with you!" ”

Fang Lei saw it clearly, thinking that he had practiced the "Iron Head Skill", and deftly flashed his body to the side, and the thief hit his head on the stone wall, his skull shattered, blood mixed with his brain, and stinking to the ground.

This domineering and invincible thief is in charge, and he has ended a life of sin.

At this time, it was getting late, and after discussing with Deputy Zhai Master Yi, Fang Lei decided to walk a little longer and rest on a small hillside in the north of the town.

Behind the hillside is a wooded field, which is convenient for setting up a dark post, and the front and sides of the hill are open fields, which are convenient for the dark post to observe, and it is a very ideal campsite.

This is not far from the town street, only three or four miles apart, they could have been able to eat in the street restaurant after dinner, and then come here to rest, but Fang Lei instructed, do not eat and drink water in the restaurant, in case of poisoning, shouldering such a big responsibility, it is absolutely impossible to stay in the street inn, everything is cautious, and it is better to be careful everywhere, in case of thieves.

In Yulin Town, the deputy owner of the village was very well prepared, and three horse-drawn carts were loaded with food and drinking water, which were not only loaded with dry food, but also roasted pork and beef.

At this time, the surroundings were so dark that they couldn't see their fingers, the cold wind gusted, and the shadows of the trees were sufficient, looking at this black and swarthy mountain, everyone couldn't help but have a trace of fear in their hearts.

Fang Lei instructed the team members to pick up some dry firewood, light a few bonfires, and roast the cooked meat again, so that it would taste delicious.

After a while, the cooked pork that was burned by the firewood emitted a burst of tempting aroma, which made everyone's saliva flow and kept swallowing it in their stomachs.

The deputy owner of the village is a very considerate person of his subordinates, treats them as brothers, takes care of each other in life and death on the battlefield, shares blessings and difficulties, and usually cares about their food, clothing, housing and transportation, and tries to meet their living needs.

He gave each member a large piece of fragrant cooked pork, and ate it with relish.

Fang Lei turned the oil-stained cooked pork in his hand over and looked at it upside down, but he was reluctant to bite it.

Hong Xi'er saw it and joked: "Brother Fang! If you don't want to eat, the concubine will do it for you, how about it? ”

Fang Lei said: "You just think, such a good delicacy, I'm hungry!" ”

"Then why don't you eat?" Hong Xi'er said with a smile.

Fang Lei sighed: "Alas! There are good dishes but no good wine, but it's a pity that this delicious food is a pity! ”

Indeed, he likes to drink, and he has not drunk for several days, which is very uncomfortable, but for the sake of safety, he still endures it and holds it hard!

Hong Xi'er said jokingly: "You are getting closer and closer to my father!" If you don't drink alcohol for a day, you feel uncomfortable! ”

He handed the piece of cooked meat to Hong Xi'er and said, "Xi'er! You keep it for me, and tomorrow at noon, sit in the carriage, and taste it slowly!" ”

The deputy owner of the village said: "In order to break this dull atmosphere, how about everyone tell a story or a joke?" ”

Fang Lei echoed: "Okay! Think of it as an anti-alcohol addiction, then you talk about it first! ”

Here's what Yi Wei said:

Once upon a time, there was a miser who felt so hungry that he couldn't stand it when he went to the bakery, so he had to go to the cake shop and spend five copper coins to buy five pancakes, and after devouring them, he still felt hungry.

As soon as he touched his pocket, he found that there were only two copper coins left in it, and he wanted to eat it, but if he was still not full, he wasted these two copper coins in vain? Don't eat it! I had already spent five copper coins in front of me, and I felt that it was not worth it, so I thought about it for a long time, so I had to reluctantly take out two copper coins and buy two more pancakes.

When he finished these two pancakes, wow! I found my stomach bulging and full.

He thought: It turned out that he was full after eating the two pancakes in the back, and the five copper coins in front were spent in vain, so it was not worth it, no, I want to get the copper coins back.

The miser slapped the table and scolded: "You profiteer, quickly return the five copper coins in front of me, or I will go to the government to sue you!" ”

"Barter, fair trade, what are you suing me?" The owner of the cake shop asked.

The miser said, "I accuse you of fraud!" ”

"What fraud am I doing?"

The owner of the cake shop is very puzzled, he has been doing business here for more than ten years, and he has always been a child without deception, honest management, small profits and quick turnover, where has he done things to defraud customers?

The miser said, "Why do you sell me the five loaves of bread before you, knowing that I will be full after eating the last two loaves?" Isn't that fraud? ”

When everyone hears it, "Hah! Ha! The earth burst out laughing, especially the three girls, who burst into tears, and the atmosphere suddenly became much more lively.

At this time, Fang Lei was also interested and said: "I also tell a joke to make everyone happy!" ”

"Okay! What Fang Gongzi said must be very funny! Yi Wei said.

Fang Lei smiled: "I'm also talking about a miser's story!" ”

Here's what he said:

Once upon a time, there was a stingy owner who cherished his wealth as much as his life, and he was eager to break a copper coin and use it.

One day, his eighty-year-old mother's birthday, relatives came to congratulate him.

The housekeeper said to him: "Owner, since there are so many relatives who come to congratulate him, why don't we ask the teacher in the village to write a couplet to symbolize joy?" ”

"Don't waste money!" The owner said.

The housekeeper said: "He never takes money, just invite him to drink a cup of birthday wine at that time!" One more person is not much, one less person is not less, but one more bowl and one more pair of chopsticks! ”

"You said it so easily, isn't that money?" The owner scolded.

The housekeeper said, "Master, do you want not to even stick the couplet?" It's a bit stingy! ”

"Who says no? I wrote it myself! ”

The housekeeper knows that the owner can't recognize many words, and it will be up to him to write it.

In fact, the owner of the village also has no spectrum in his heart, and he doesn't know how to write longevity?

After he came back from a walk around the town, he suddenly found that the Spring Festival couplets posted on the door of a shop were still there.

The uplink is:

The days increase and the people have longevity

The next link is:

Spring is full of blessings

He patted the top of his head and said to himself: "I will change this Spring Festival couplet, won't there be a couplet on my mother's 80th birthday tomorrow?" ”

When he said that, he changed the Spring Festival couplets to two words, and pasted them in the middle of the night.

The next morning, sure enough, it was full of relatives and friends, but everyone stood at the gate, pointing at the pair of longevity couplets, commenting on their heads and feet, and some even covered their mouths and snickered.

When the owner saw this, he said, "Is there anything wrong with this?" Mother to father, neat to battle, and rhyme! ”

It turned out that he changed the couplet to:

The days increase and the years increase

Spring is coming to the door of Qiankun Daddy

Yi Wei heard this and laughed: "The owner of the village is saying that he has a lot of fathers!" ”