I had planned to finish this novel in a year, but it took nearly three times as long. In less than three years, sometimes I feel that I have spent the spring and autumn hard, and the days are like long years, and sometimes I feel like a white horse passing through the gap, just in a hurry.

When I wrote this novel, it coincided with the most bumpy period of my life so far, my previous life was simple and calm, there were smiling faces everywhere I looked, and the darkness of human nature was mostly seen in books, and I just interpreted it in my mind. When I first started writing "Orchid Xiangyuan", I really started to read the big book of society, and when I came to work, I went through the wind and rain, and I was forced to retreat several times. I remember that during the Spring Festival that year, I went to visit the old principal of my alma mater and casually said something about work, and the old principal suddenly looked at me with a very sympathetic look in his eyes, and said, "You have just begun, every day is a torment, what should I do in the future?" "Originally, I didn't think I had said anything very strict, just to communicate daily, but this concern made my eyes red at that time. Later, an elder with considerable experience and social status said to me: "Many people have to experience such ups and downs in life, but you are too early to meet them at your age." ”

I don't know if it's early or late, but as Lao Tzu said: "Fortune and misfortune lurk, misfortune and fortune rely on", now looking back, people have a big leap forward not from self-discipline, often due to external blows. I have tasted the taste of being squeezed and the malice around me, the taste of being at a loss for words, the taste of being robbed of merit behind the black pot, the taste of being calculated and framed by each other, seeing the evil of human nature, understanding that some things can not be done with all my might, and I can get a turn by struggling desperately, which is also the time when I am most confused and confused. When I finished the work of two or three people every day, and when I was tired late at night and started writing "Orchid Xiangyuan", I kept thinking, what is the real strength and maturity of people, is it that they have been trained to be exquisite, the city is extremely deep, and they have the mind and means that they are not afraid of being calculated by a person, and even can be calculated back, this is success? No matter how happy the characters in the novel are, when reality falls on me, I feel very painful to think of turning myself into a perpetrator like a perpetrator, you calculate me, I will respect you in return, and get involved in your fight to protect myself. In the contradictions and confusion, the follow-up outline of "Orchid Yuan" could not be carried out for a while.

What should be done? I began to ponder questions such as "who am I, where am I from, and where am I going?" and so on, everyone has their own moral code in their hearts, and there is a gray area where it is difficult to grasp good and evil, and I want to find a final guide for my actions. I read some philosophical books, I started to get into religion, and then I came across Buddhism.

This may be what Jimmy said: "In the deepest despair, the most beautiful surprise is encountered". It is my luckiest thing to encounter Buddhism, which contains infinite wisdom and speculation, like a bright lamp that illuminates a thousand-year-old dark room.

After listening to the Buddhist scriptures, I began to understand that the ultimate strength and maturity is to be harmonious and generous, compassionate and forgiving, and to stick to the goodness in the heart, so that you can let go of your own interests and attachments, and be an alum in the midst of suffering and evil, and let it precipitate, rather than being a stick, stirring in the midst of suffering and evil, and letting it fly. Happiness is easy to enmity and hatred, but compassion and tolerance are difficult. Therefore, it is easy for people to appreciate the pungent pleasure of-for-tat, "You owe me, I will get it back a hundred times and a thousand times", but they can rarely understand the tolerance and generosity of tolerating things, being willing to suffer losses, and even repaying grievances with virtue. Probably because of the shape of today's society, many people are afraid, can only accept competition and vicious life, to quickly arm themselves with various scheming means as an armor weapon to step into the cruel society, but can not accept the traditional gentleman's style of benevolence, righteousness, courtesy, wisdom, faith, gentleness, courtesy and frugality, and always have suspicions, so the novel will always denounce this kind of "mother" and "bun", reminding people that they must be vigilant in getting along with others, and after comprehensively weighing the gains and losses of their own interests, or retaliate or pay the corresponding affection.

When I returned to "Orchid Fragrance", after the washing of Buddhism, when I wrote again, I was much more sure in my heart. If Lin Jinlou is the spirit of this novel, Chen Xianglan is the soul of this novel, and the people I met and the things I have seen have all become the material of this novel. Lin Jinlou is actually very easy to grasp, he has many similarities with my personality, and the characters are always clear and easy to write. Chen Xianglan is a little difficult, the introverted protagonist is always very subtle, I want to write an agarwood rhyme like an orchid as delicate but tenacious heroine, just like "Confucius's Family Sayings" said: "Zhilan was born in a deep valley, not to be unpleasant; A gentleman cultivates morality and does not change his temper for the sake of poverty. "Born in the most vulgar and humble situation, but can bloom the most beautiful flowers.

When Xianglan appeared, she was actually like the heroine of most novels, she had experienced a certain amount of ups and downs, she was defensive and pungent, her words were sharp, she was not forgiving in return, and she was full of hope for the future, because her parents were weak and wanted to get rid of the fate of being slaves for generations and marrying slaves, so she entered the Lin Mansion. Like every newcomer to the workplace, I want to work hard, find a backer (a good boss or middle leader), be respected, and finally achieve my goals, but the reality is always not as I wish. Most of the popular heroines are Iron Woman, no matter what happens, they are either optimistic and cheerful, or strong beyond ordinary people, and as soon as they bite the root of their teeth, their psychology can quickly calm down, as if weak tears are "little white flowers". I prefer to show the cowardice and helplessness when experiencing hardship, tears and vulnerability, the fear of the unknown future, and the collapse of "everyone understands the big truth, and the small feelings are difficult to control".

Jiang Xiyun is a character I specially selected, if she wears the halo of the heroine, she is a popular image of the public, she is familiar with reality, rationality, and secular means, she can talk and please, she is left and right, she is friendly to those who are good friends with her, and she never softly strikes at people who are on the opposite side, although she has a kind heart, but once things conflict with her own absolute interests, kindness can be discounted as a matter of course, and then "I am not the Virgin" to forgive yourself. Most of the people in the world are this kind of "neither good nor bad" but think that they are kind and decent, which is very typical. The two characters represent different values, and in the final analysis, they are different in their hearts. The former is "me", "my interests, face, status", "my future life is not good", "dead friends do not die poor"; The latter is not only "me", but also "him", "whether it is because of my actions will hurt others", "I see the other party's difficulty, so I am willing to suffer and forgive some things", different ways of thinking, when two people encounter unavoidable problems together, tear up the warm relationship, there will be a violent conflict. Tribulations are often tests, which can ruin a person or achieve a person, or be dragged into the water by the muddy reality, and find some reason to forgive yourself; Either you can still be kind after knowing something ugly, and you are willing to sacrifice some to stick to your innocence.

That's what I'm trying to say. The protagonist takes off the bloated loftiness and illusion in the tempering of life to death again and again, from sharp words to indisputable, soft love language, can become more and more modest, indifferent, and profound, and knows more compassion and courage after the experience, and does not hold grudges or complains after getting out of the quagmire, and has religious open-mindedness and freedom, so that the world can appear frankly and safely in front of him. Her identity has changed from humble to noble, but her heart has changed from arrogant to humble, and she has been low and obedient to the dust of the earth, no longer a trace of flamboyance and pungency, only gentle and tolerant. That's what I meant and what I wanted to do with this character.

Some readers complained about the transformation of Houwen Xianglan, but some readers praised it from the bottom of their hearts, looking at their personal mind, aesthetic taste, and life experience. As for me, I finished telling this story according to my own ideas, and I was still satisfied.

Interestingly, when Wenli Xianglan's situation gradually improved, my work situation also improved, and several bosses observed me for a period of time and pushed me out, and I went to a better place, with a separate office, and now my boss is a generous and humorous scholar-type leader. Looking back, it was the Buddha's teachings that helped me to get through those difficult days in reverence for cause and effect, and it also convinced me that the results of calculation by means are either quickly lost or unsatisfactory. But step by step, with a conscience and patience, it seems that he has been wronged and suffered, but he will eventually get the most complete reward.

After "Orchid Fragrance", I will probably never write such a long novel again, and I probably won't write about ancient themes again, and the next one I plan to write about the Republic of China, which is a story that I have stored in my heart for a long time, and after the Republic of China, I will probably try modern themes. I'm not a professional author, and I don't have any ambitions, I just hope that every time I write a book, I can break through myself and make some progress, and I'm very content.

"Orchid Fragrance" is really over here, and after writing this book, I feel that I have also completed a practice. I would like to thank the readers who have accompanied me all the way, especially the people in Yanshan Villa and Heyan Villa, for giving me the most firm support and help in my most difficult time, because a novel is the best gift for me to write this book.

At the end of the day, I would like to share with you a passage from Venerable Kuanru's teachings, when I heard this passage at the time when I was still in the most confused period, and this passage was like an initiation, which made me feel so mixed that I sat in the Buddha hall and wept silently:

No matter how difficult the situation is, don't give up on yourself, be patient and keep your good karma.

No matter how sinister the circumstances, don't give up on being an innocent and good person.

In the rolling red dust, insist on being a sober person.

In the midst of materialism, insist on being a clean person.

When everyone says that people's hearts are unpredictable, they insist on believing in the goodness of human nature.

When the etiquette collapses, stick to the morals and ideals in your heart.

When everyone in the world laughed at me for being stupid, I insisted on seeing the world with a simple heart and innocent eyes.

Hold on to your heart and your beliefs, even if you are left alone with this insistence.

Above.

Thank you all, heartfelt gratitude.

July 14, 2014 R1152 AM