Zhuzi was reluctant to tell Nuomi everything, I don't know if he thought she couldn't understand when she was young, or if he didn't want her to worry at all. He pressed his head on Nuomi's shoulder, and Nuomi patted him gently, and then he felt a wet patch on his shoulder. Glutinous rice was a little overwhelmed, and coaxed quietly, as if it had the opposite effect, so I didn't persuade it.

Glutinous rice slowly patted Senior Brother Zhuzi's shoulder, and even with herself, her eyes were hot somehow, and she couldn't help but sniffle.

He sniffled again.

The pillar then took a breath, raised his head slightly, and stretched out his other hand to rub Nuo Mi's head:

"Don't cry."

The voice was shady and hoarse, and it sounded in the chest, and there was a kind of bitter stuffiness.

Nuomi nodded vigorously in confusion. She only knew that Senior Brother Zhuzi was willing to talk to her, and that was fine.

The pillar rubbed all the glutinous rice's hair, and shook his head again, "I'm sorry." ”

"Nope! Brother...... Senior brother eats. ”

Glutinous rice quickly shook his hand holding the pillar and clumsily took the topic away. She was a little afraid to ask Senior Brother Zhuzi what had happened, for fear that Senior Brother would be uncomfortable again. Although she didn't quite understand why her brother apologized, she keenly felt the heavy feelings, and she didn't dare to ask.

The two of them stuffed their heads and ate all the steamed bread and gruel on the table. Nuomi turned his head to look at the sky, as if he had passed the time to pass the gong, and suddenly hesitated.

Zhuzi had kept his head down all the time, and he didn't talk to Nuomi, but when he noticed her uneasiness, he reluctantly squeezed a smile and said:

"It's okay, you go."

"Senior Brother......

Nuomi panicked, as if she felt that she had done something wrong. But she took a closer look at Zhuzi's face and found that although the senior brother's face was not good, he didn't mean to blame, but he looked a little depressed. She herself wanted to stay, but the pillar didn't ask her to stay, so she hesitated for a moment, looked at the rice bowls and trays on the table, and finally stood up.

The rice bowl and tray had to be returned first.

"Senior brother, I'll come back when I go out."

The pillar didn't answer, just nodded. Glutinous rice left the room slowly.

When Nuomi's small figure was completely blocked by the hidden door, the pillar suddenly relaxed. Holding his face with his hands, he sighed hard.

He really didn't want to tell Nuomi about those things, and he couldn't tell others, so he could only keep them in his heart.

This time, the work assigned by the master for him was not very heavy, and he was busy for two days, and he was already almost busy. Thinking that it is rare to have time to go down to the mountain, it is better to go back to the house to take a look, and visit my father and mother, which can be regarded as a piece of filial piety. So he greeted a companion who was going down the mountain, and he found the way in the direction of the small ravine in his memory, and stepped on the rocks.

Since he left home, he has been doing physical work all the way, and now he is doing physical cultivation, and he doesn't feel that the mountain road is difficult at all, and it only took half a day to return to the village.

The village has not changed much from what he remembers, except that the half-dry barren well at the east end of the village is still there, and a few big girls are sitting on the side, chatting while beating and washing clothes. However, the old tree that had grown for an unknown number of years was half scorched by the thunder, and there was only a wooden pier left, and a few wilting shoots appeared.

On the contrary, the old thatched house was repaired, although it was dry, but the well water was not broken, and it looked okay that day.

The big girls didn't recognize him, and they all looked at his sturdy body with a kind of shyness. He couldn't remember which girl it was, and he was a little unaccustomed to the hot and straightforward eyes of the village girls, so he clumsily declined the invitation of several girls to lead the way enthusiastically, and fled in the laughter behind him.

His family was the poorest in the village back then, so it was at the back of the village.

The closer I got to the end of the village, the more I didn't dare to get closer. He scolded himself in his heart, suppressed his feelings, and slowly leaned over. When I saw it from afar, my heart sank.

When I was a child, my family was so poor that I couldn't open the pot, and the roof was pressed with hay, and when the wind was strong, it often leaked. The four straw walls mixed with yellow mud barely kept out the wind, and he always hugged his crying siblings and whispered comfort inside. At that time, the only pleasure in the afternoon was to climb the old locust tree next to the house, pick locust flowers and chew them. The acacia flower is bitter, but it is a little fragrant, and it is still very good to swallow when there is a shortage of food.

The locust tree in my memory is dry, the leaves have fallen to the ground, and the branches are dry, I don't know whether it is dead or alive. And the location of that former home, nothing. There are no walls of loess, no thatched roofs, no twig beams.

He looked at the pile of hay on the ground, half-buried in the ground, and was at a loss for what to do.

After a long time, he stopped an old man walking by in a daze, and stammered to ask where the family who originally lived here had moved. He still vaguely recognized the old man, who lived in a family at the entrance of the village, but the old man obviously didn't recognize him.

The other party glanced at the pillar a few times, probably because he saw that the pillar didn't look like a bad person, so he spoke slowly:

"This family has been starving to death for a long time. It was a few years ago. Originally, there was an eldest son in the family who went out to do work, and at first he occasionally sent some money home, but then there was no news. In the winter, I couldn't hold it anymore, so I wanted to sell my children, but no one wanted it, so I finally found a buyer and sold my daughter into the kiln, but I still couldn't survive the winter. When the village found out, the family was stiff, pitiful. The eldest son didn't know what wealth he enjoyed in the city, and he didn't recognize his father and brother for a long time. ”

After the old man finished speaking, seeing that he didn't react, he shook his head and muttered a few more words, and staggered away.

He still stood stunned.

I can't hate it, and I can't even react at all.

His voice was choked in his chest, and he wanted to grab the old man, and said, saying that he had not lost any money every month for so many years, and he had saved every bit of his earnings, and he was reluctant to spend a penny, and he was also worried about sending it home, thinking that if his share of money was more in the family, it would not be so difficult again, and he should be able to live anyway.

What made him even more sad was that he suddenly found that he was more angry than sad. The anger of being deceived and wronged. This took him aback, and he felt as if he was no longer qualified to be sad and angry.

Home is just a warm and dilapidated memory for him.

He couldn't remember what kind of mood he had when he left home. And over the years, I have always had the idea that "without me, my family will not be able to live". It was as if he heard a voice in his heart laughing fiercely.

What's the difference between you and the money-trapping guy, you're just using this home to show your superiority.

He was almost overwhelmed by the voice. He wanted to refute, he wanted to say that he was still sad after all, but the more he thought about it, the more powerless he became.

Since leaving home at the age of six, he has never returned to Murakami. For him, home is just a vague memory. He couldn't tell whether he was really willing to give that in his heart, or whether he was only drawing a little advantage from the impression of that "home".

Such thoughts almost knocked him out. He staggered and dazed, and didn't know how to get back to the mountain gate.