I've never forgotten what I had and despair.

My despair never wants to be overcome.

It's always honest and doesn't know how to dye everything in a roundabout way.

My desperation was insane.

Humble places have always been justified.

Although it is not as grand as the style of the years, it is also so powerful that it transcends the hearts of the people for a long time, penetrating the iron and copper walls.

It's like a ghost.,Good at laughing and scolding.。

My despair, eternal desolation.

…………

My mother never thought to understand my thoughts, whether it was when I was a child, and until now, I have eaten very well in this world of purple and red flowers.

So it's as if she doesn't know that I've never been naïve, and she doesn't know anything about the various ways she's tried to find her biological father.

You don't need to deliberately hide it, maybe you don't want to hide it from the bottom of your heart.

If only you could find out, Mother.

Does that mean you look at me more?

I subconsciously took this as a test, a test for my mother, and at the same time as a test for myself - whether there was any possibility between us.

As a result, what should have been thought of a long time ago was only greeted by the despair of being affectionate to himself all along.

Even if you cross thousands of rivers and mountains, with a sad expression, ragged, covered in blood, weak and embarrassed, dragging the wreckage and this determination that still refuses to stop beating and declares everything to come to you, you can turn away in a hurry. And the direction you turned to leave, there were only men waiting there who had nothing to do with our blood.

So often, the degree of capriciousness of the character reaches the point of horror.

Yet in the face of this terrible calamity, all the people around me surrendered to my feet as always, and said that they loved me as always, and as always, they were so desperate and crazy about my magnificence and independence that I hated - this kind of curiosity that flaunted love shook your mind.

But I still need you, because I want to get to the bottom of it, even if it's by selling my despair.

****

It was easy to climb to a high place to find your father.

He took the document from the private investigator with the results of the investigation and tore off the small piece of paper with the words on his biological father's current whereabouts. Held in the palm of the palm, which was already trembling slightly.

But at that time, I lost my mind. It's not just a matter of losing a sense of direction, but also the memories of sneaky things before.

Since it cannot be avoided, it is only a matter of time before it withers.

A light rain fell in the sky, and the dancing mood made the cold and sluggish in the eyes become hearty

Find your destination faster than ever before. I even thought that my road idiot was cured without medicine.

Standing outside the house half-asleep and half-awake. Through the window, I saw a woman and a man inside.

I forgot that I was gasping for breath at the moment, and I was also drenched in the rain. But he just desperately longed to see the man who was called his father in his dreams in blood.

A man who looks good enough to be a capital and a woman who looks a little older.

The beautiful atmosphere and ambiguous light, the expressions on the faces of the two people and the images of touching each other always made me feel strange until the woman took out a wad of money from her wallet. Jiao smiled and handed it into the man's hand.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of something shattering in my body.

The picture of the hot kiss is very eye-catching, as if it is never-ending and tireless.

He turned around in a daze and left without saying a word, there was no need to worry about it.

Running wildly without warning, shiny cowhide shoes stepping into one muddy brown puddle after another, the sewage splashing and falling to the ground again looked like it had rained twice, but it had no ability to summon a rainbow, and never would be.

It's a brutal repetition of the past.

When he returned home, he saw his mother who was choosing an evening dress, grabbed her hand and asked her roaringly.

"Is that him? That cowherd...... Is it my father? ”

My mother's face obviously changed, but she shook my hand away in the next second.

"I don't understand what you're saying."

also gave up changing his dress, picked up his woolen coat and was about to leave, and only confessed a word about the evening.

I stood there in despair, forgetting to scream at me for splashing the rain on your new dress, so I really said the truth...... Stunned, he walked out of the house.

Didn't make any expressions, or rather, there was no way to do it.

The father of a professional cowherd and his mother, who is more expert than a professional lady, have a really extraordinary bloodline.

I thought that after seeing my father, no matter what kind of person he was, whether he was poor or had a successful career, he would want to run over and call out loudly - I thought so...... That's how it should have been......

Like a sick madman, he laughed out loud, and when he walked in the rain, the surrounding scene became vaguely mottled, but the despair in his body became more and more sober, and every bitter howl was so vivid that it overshadowed all the sounds, and he did not notice the figure behind him sooner.

I can't use the strength to walk at will.,Twisted and crooked way of walking has a fight with the drunkard.。

was bumped on the shoulder, half of his body was crooked, but he staggered against the wall, bent over and laughed hideously.

At this time, I suddenly heard the sound of groups of three or five talking together, and I turned my head to look over, and the sound came from the alley I turned into.

There were five men standing, some leaning against the wall, some crouching on the ground, some with their legs raised high, and the sole of one foot kicked against the wall. They all have cigarettes in their mouths, as if they are bad people in society.

Too happy laughter, whether or not shrouded in almost obscene colors, is unaccustomed to hearing in the ears.

Why are they all happier than me......

Thinking like this, the brain has already taken action before the brain reacts, and it is a self-destructive action.

Suddenly breaking in, even if you don't say anything, it will cause them to be displeased, not to mention that you took the initiative to walk in to pick quarrels and provoke trouble?

"Hey! What do you watch? ”

"Stinky boy, I'm talking about you!"

"Deaf?"

A guy who seemed to be the head of the head was speaking in an increasingly unfriendly tone.

I glanced at it contemptuously and snorted.

Then, without paying close attention to how it happened, the whistle began with the man slamming the cigarette butt viciously on the ground, and five guys who were a head taller than him swarmed around him.

Punches and kicks fell like a downpour, accompanied by insults, intimidation, and explosions, but I didn't resist.

The pain hit me mercilessly, but I suddenly laughed.

The laughter was so eerie that it scared a few of the thugs into stopping.

"Hey, why is he smiling?"

"You can't be a madman!"

"I think there's a nerve problem."

He was laughing when suddenly a man screamed in pain.

"What's wrong?"

"Bitten by a cat."

I was stunned for a moment, and I looked at it with a laugh, only to see the kitten "Salmon" that appeared at some point biting one of the men's calves.

The man flicked his foot and threw it out.

"What's the matter, this cat is ...... like a dog," he snorted, thinking that the kitten that had hit the wall should have lost his strength, but he didn't think that it would stand up and bite them again.

I struggled to get up, but I didn't have much strength, and I was held back by someone at this point.

The gangster head squatted amusefully next to me, who had been beaten to the corner of my mouth, and reached out and patted my face hard, "Hey, is this kitten here to protect you?" It's a pity to ask such a little beast to save you. Giving a look, the second cat bite kicked the kitten again.

I was so angry that I tried to get up from the ground, but the others pressed me and wouldn't let me move.

"Don't touch it! Whoever dares to touch it again, I will ......"

The head was close to my face again, "Yo, what about you?" Want to rebel? ”

I spat in his face, mixed with blood.

Enraged, the man kicked my flank and intercostal space with his foot viciously.

I felt the withering speeding up in wave after wave of pain, blood boiling in my throat with each exhalation, and I wanted to cough but couldn't, on the verge of shattering.

Just as he was about to lose consciousness, the beating stopped.

I struggled to open my eyes and saw that it was biting the toe of the man's shoe, but in its sky-blue eyes was itself.

It was the first and last time I saw myself like that.

Voiceover: Thank you for your company and support, I really love you.

Everyone should take good care of themselves in life, go to bed early and get up early and drink plenty of water! (To be continued.) If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote for recommendation, monthly pass, your support, is my biggest motivation. For mobile phone users, please go to M. to read. (To be continued......)