Grief is formless and colorless,

It floats around you in the dark.

You wake up in it, but it's so empty,

The retreat that does not see the light of day, the disregard of the twists and turns,

Tears replace bitterness, lightness is incomprehensible,

It's like a stranger - you don't know where to go,

But for some reason, the ethereal sadness that came down like this was so heavy that it was impossible to be indifferent,

Your fearlessness manipulates the hormones, leaving the most painful of all.

…………

Hearing my outspoken hatred for the day, the red-haired man, the guy I callually and politely called Monsieur van Gogh, had only slightly changed his behavior, or at least I didn't see the point of the change.

"Aso!"

Tiangang was slightly bright, accompanied by the persevering "clang" knock on the door, Van Gogh, who did not have the label of "born to sing a singer", came to knock on my bedroom door.

At this moment, compared to Azario and Bruce, who pushed the door directly in a big stab, this kind of haunting that was entangled with the gimmick of "love and courtesy" made me feel even more helpless.

This is the kind of person I don't know how to deal with, as if every day I am coerced and seduced by all means, just to make me wear nice clothes and a special hairstyle, and make me look beautiful and hairy.

The knock on the door was not tiresome, and I disarmed my gun, waved a white flag, lifted the quilt and sat up, casually draped a gauzy but not transparent gown, and opened my mouth to the closed door. "Come in."

As soon as the words fell, I heard a "bang" sound, this guy grasped the timing just right, or too good to be outrageous, maybe it was actually his own pinching of the timing in time, if he didn't speak just now, maybe now this man has broken in! But...... Indeed, this red-haired man has no "criminal record" to pursue.

"What are you doing again?" I touched my forehead, and the corners of my eyes were depicted in black symbolizing insomnia, like a dark gray eyeshadow that had been blurred.

"I'll pick you up!" Van Gogh gasped and looked excited, and this overly high-pitched emotion did not match his bleak appearance.

"Huh?" He raised his right hand and rubbed the back of his head. A few strands of dull hair stood up in a messy hair. The corners of the mouth are grinning to one side, if you hold a cigarette now, it will be an absolute "big sister" who pursues usury, and of course it cannot be ruled out that it may be misunderstood as "rent collection".

"That's what you mean?"

"Which means? I didn't get it! I frowned, angry at him.

"It's that you're going out with me. Come with me to paint! ”

"Why?" Hear here. I shook my hands into fists and slammed them on the covers.

"Because you promised me." It's as if that's the case. Combined with the underwhelming smile, my queenly nature was immediately enraged.

"Fart! When did I promise you? ”

"Last night."

"How is that possible? I slept alone in my room last night! I twitched the corners of my mouth, and I was a little flustered when it was clear that it was the truth.

"Yesterday night. You promised me in your dreams. ”

"Puff ......" I couldn't resist vomiting blood, rolled my eyes and felt my throat choking, "Please, you also said it, it's a dream, how can it count!" ”

"Can't you?"

"Nonsense!"

"But...... Dreaming is also a fact, so you must keep your promise when you promise me. ”

"I ......" your wishful thinking tells me a fact, this time I can be regarded as kicking the iron plate!

Stalemate, in the face of this red-haired old man who still looks like a child, I can only choose Ming Jin to withdraw his troops, "Then you go out first, and I'll change my clothes." "It's really about tidying up your thoughts and giving yourself a chance to catch your breath.

Sitting with my legs bent and my hands on the sides of my cheeks, I couldn't find a reason to explain this guy's obsession with me, but after a long dilemma, I realized what the guy had just said - in a dream!

Did this guy dream of me last night? Is it true or false?

I feel a breath stuck in my throat, is it a sigh? Or is it a pleasure?

Suddenly, I felt that the disturbances in my heart were even worse than those I had just seen.

****

Dressed in a black one-piece suit, her long straight black iron hair was tied up high by an equally black ribbon, and the "Iceberg Queen" style stood out to the extreme.

I walked in front of Van Gogh, although I came out to paint with him, but the picture at the moment was more like a debtor who had escaped with money and was caught by a creditor, and was paraded through the streets in order to teach him a profound lesson.

Lucky? On my first trip in a long time, I didn't meet a single person, and of course I learned later that everyone was hiding in the shadows to peek at us, and then it was because of Azario and Bruce that they all avoided us.

But I don't understand, why do you secretly and silently avoid it? I was innocent with the red-haired man, and I just went out to paint with him.

"What are you looking for?" Van Gogh saw that I had been taking him around in circles and opened his mouth curiously.

"Nightshade."

"What's that?"

I was stunned, more angry than depressed, more depressed than stunned, "You don't know? ”

"Uh, yes." The man in front of me seemed ashamed to see my expression, but he hadn't done anything to be sorry for me.

"Hey!" I sighed, then muttered, "Then you said nature is with you." ”

"Otherwise, you'll show me the drawing! Draw it down and then I remember it! ”

"Don't." I pouted, did this guy deliberately look down on my clumsiness? Besides, I won't be drawing anymore, and that family portrait of my parents and me is my first and last drawing.

Thinking of this, I suddenly felt an internal wound in my chest - almost heartbroken.

"Or do you show me?"

"I looked for it, but I didn't have it here."

It seems to have seen a reddish redness in my eyes. There is some unreal silence between us, and it doesn't seem right to be aggressive, nonchalant, or silent, but as long as you are on the sidelines to comfort me, it will only make me feel more pathetic.

"I'm going back." In a word, the dust is gone.

Looking at the black back that was fading away with mixed feelings, this car was stunned, and that car was like a world away.

****

After that time, I didn't plan to go out even more.

"Just this once, not the next one." I sue myself.

But the red-haired man didn't seem to have any intention of letting me go. I still come to my bedroom every day to report for duty. The only difference was that he had changed the time - from coming to me before the daily assembly to noon during the day.

"Asu, look, I drew an iris basking in the moon this time!"

"Asu, you can look good once! This is a rare saffron of the moon! ”

"Aso! I spent a lot of time painting the impatiens of the moon this time! ”

Flowers again. Then myrrh, frankincense, calamus, agarwood...... On the third day, the floral circle was churned by him again. Only this time it changed from basking in the sun to basking in the moon!

"Damn! You guy...... What's the deal with the moon? ”

"Aso hates daylight. Then don't bask in the sun and the moon! What a childish answer, the speaker may not be childlike, but the listener is a ripple in his heart.

"One, two, three, four、......" I looked at the man in front of me who was holding the painting to his chest and showing it to me. Subconsciously follow the beat of the second hand word by word.

"Counting what?" Van Gogh blinked his smiling eyes, and then said excitedly as if he had found the answer, "It's fourteen, oh, I spent fourteen!" "When he saw my stunned eyes, he thought I was counting the branches in his paintings.

"No, you're wrong."

"Huh?"

"Fifteen."

"Impossible! How can you make a mistake by drawing yourself? I'll count again. ”

As he spoke, the man hurriedly pointed the painting directly at him, counting and counting, but only to be even more flustered.

I curled the corners of my mouth, but I was referring to the hole in his clothes.

can live such a shabby life in the heavenly realm, except for Van Gogh, there may be no second person.

"What does fourteen mean? Why do you always like to draw fourteen branches of flowers? "It was also sudden, and I was curious.

"Fourteen, it's a habit in my life, and I draw sunflowers with ......" I realized that I was wrong, and he paused for a moment but was not skillful, "It symbolizes the twelve apostles plus me and Theo." ”

"Theo?"

"Yes, it's my brother."

I saw him smile wryly, and his eyes felt like they had hit a flash.

****

If there is a person who comes to you every day, although it is annoying but it is not in vain, then when he suddenly and unexpectedly cuts off the news, every word of speech will be replaced by worry.

On this day, as usual, I cleaned up my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed waiting for him to arrive.

There was still a quarter of an hour, but I was already brewing sarcastic remarks, and even in order to achieve a ridicule that did not hurt my self-esteem, I was picking and choosing between such words.

"Damn!" I muttered to myself, stroked my forehead, and even cleaned the house to welcome his arrival!

What the hell is wrong with me?

This behavior ...... Do I care about other people's eyes?

The queen shouldn't be like that!

Closing my eyes, I tried to remind myself that he had been the one who had painted the Flames of Hell, only to feel the heat and dizziness collide back and forth in my brain.

What did I just think? Ever?

Wrong! He always has been! I still remember that painting of his...... I still hate golden flowers to the extreme, and the so-called sunflowers are actually demons that yearn for the day!

Because of it, it announced that I had lost my parents; Because of it, I can never forgive myself.

The red-haired man actually drew it, and I hate him!

I hate him!

I have to hate him!

I'm going to hate him......

Looking at the time again, five minutes have passed!

What about the agreed time? This guy actually dares to break his promise, doesn't he want to live?!

In fact, there was no agreement, neither verbal nor written, but unconsciously, I had already regarded his inseparability as a wordless accompaniment.

The body stood up on the ground. I was thinking about going to him to settle accounts, but a voice in my head was talking.

――Aso hates the daytime, so don't bask in the sun and the moon!

I took a deep breath, sat back on the bed, and waited.

The light through the stained-glass windows sank with time, and the flickering and dappled light and shadow were dazzling, and in a moment the bright orange turned dark, and the red-haired guy was still nowhere to be seen until supper.

The fist slammed into the sheets, leaving a deep dent. Because the blow was originally carefully paved and smooth, it was self-destructive.

What the hell is going on with this guy?

Even if you are clumsy, you can't draw. At the very least, you should come and sue me!

I was pacing back and forth by myself in my bedroom, walking and walking around...... It doesn't seem to be able to restore my former composure.

Raising my hand and patting my head, I scratched my fingers at my hair and made a decision. Pushed open the door and ran out.

Kicked open the door of Van Gogh's bedroom. was about to scold, but saw that the room was empty.

What's going on? Where is he......

Fear feels like a pair of hands. Pulling me towards the darkness, I was about to run out to find him, but I found that my steps seemed to be glued to the ground and I couldn't get out.

If. Will people come to me and question me about my actions if they find out?

How should I answer then...... Why did I—Why did I go to him?

I never went to my favorite mom and dad, but why do I keep going to him?

My state of mind turned into a vast ocean, and my thoughts were like a small boat floating in it, but I lost the oars.

"Asu hates daytime, so don't bask in the sun and the moon!"

-- A sentence became a deep wound to the bone.

In an instant, I seemed to have an answer, and I staggered out of the way, ignoring the flying black iron disheveled hair.

Instead of my heart being stirred from side to side like a canoe, it is better to simply grieve to the extreme, sink to the bottom of the sea, and bury him completely, at least this will let me know that the pain is so real and indelible...... It's hard to pretend not to see.

It was a heavy darkness, and after rummaging two-thirds of the garden in the southern half of the third day, I finally found the man.

The large purple branches are as shallow as sea blue and as deep as ink balls, and this is the iris flower field, which covers the most extensive area of the flower field on the third day.

One of them was overwhelmed, and when you looked over, you could see that the red-haired man had collapsed there.

Trembling and bending down to look at the mud-stained man, as if he was about to slowly seep into the dirt, be swallowed and buried, I suddenly felt a palpitation, and immediately shook him, hoping to wake him up quickly.

"Hey, wake up!"

"Wake up! Van Gogh! The word "sir" is omitted.

"Hey! Wake up! ”

Looking at his near-sleeping face, I was suddenly scared.

Suddenly, I understood my parents' intention to isolate me on the other side of the lid of the tunnel, and if I watched them disappear in front of my eyes, I would definitely be drenched in blood.

But they couldn't see me hurt, so they could do it, just like this man, who was so paranoid that he had no taboos.

Just as I was staring into a trance, there was a "gurgling" sound in the air, and I looked down at the man who had fainted, and instantly felt a barren brain.

This guy is going to faint from hunger?!

Why is this man still hungry even though he has died and come to the heavenly realm?

Why make yourself like this?

I shook my head, and then tried to conjure food with a wave of my hand but failed, I realized at this moment that I was so different from other angels, although I was turned into an angel halfway, but the person who made this qiē seemed to have forgotten to give me equal ability, and there were very few things I could do that were true angels.

I flattened Van Gogh's body and went to the side to pick the pomegranate fruit, now if I ran back to the palace it would be a little far, I couldn't let him go hungry any longer, and it would be useful to eat some of this first.

By the time I returned, he had already opened his eyes.

"Aso."

"Okay, you're lazy here."

I sneered, but he just smiled with the corners of his mouth raised.

"Come, punish you, that's all."

I pushed the pomegranate away and fed it to him little by little, and after only three bites, he stopped.

"What? Are you full just by eating this? That's no match for my stomach. ”

"You eat a little too."

"No, I'm not hungry." As I spoke, my stomach crumbled.

"Quick, you eat too." Van Gogh didn't laugh at me, but coaxed me softly.

With my crimson cheeks blared, I tried to ignore the embarrassment and ate all three pomegranates with him.

Of course, it was he who ate one, and I ate two.

…………

In the wind, I saw the iris swaying again.

The branches are deep, the court is cloudy and the moon is seen, and the pine tips are crying.

Something is in my heart, and I will come late.

…………

For a while, the two of us simply sat in the iris field and looked at the moon.

"What's wrong?" Van Gogh saw me staring at him and asked.

"I don't understand, why are you living like this......"

Hearing my question, he suddenly breathed a sigh of relief, "I haven't been able to really support myself in my whole life, so I can't enjoy this qiē with peace of mind." ”

I was deeply stunned, how could he feel ashamed even to eat......

I was a little speechless, and I wanted to turn myself in, but I couldn't find a direction.

"Aso."

"What?" I looked over.

"I hear your song of sorrow......," he moved his gaze from the moon to the dirt beneath his feet, "I feel like you've lost something." ”

Anger came out inexplicably, and I changed my name for the first time, "I'm not sad, you red-haired madman don't talk nonsense here!" ”

"Then why are you crying?"

"I didn't...... Ale? He raised his hand and touched the corner of his eye, but he felt the wet liquid.

"It's okay, Aso! I understand, you can say it to me. He looked at me.

"No, but I ......" I twitched at the corners of my mouth, trying to smile, but I was so dazed that I became incoherent.

"Maybe I'm a red-haired madman, but sometimes it's okay to listen to a madman, right, Aso?"

looked at him, but the expression he had when he said that sentence before appeared in front of him - Aso hates the day, so he doesn't bask in the sun and the moon.

At that moment, I suddenly understood that the secret wound of Liancheng had settled a certain creed in my heart.

"You said you'd redraw for me, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"So, please draw me a farewell."

My eyes were like bursting starlight, and I felt like I was taking drugs, but I was going to die.

There is rain along the way, I am not afraid of long nights, but loneliness is doubling the heartbreak, this is our last night together, and later, the past is sad and sad. (To be continued......)