IV. (XLI) The past

I still have to go to work, Jiang Zheyu wants me to rest assured. Don't worry, he wants me to rely on him. But I was worried about him, and Yuan Youli's words made me think a lot before.

The reliance in Jiang Zheyu's mouth always makes me think of the price. In fact, there will be a price to pay no matter what, especially for Eba City. Jiang Yecheng will not let Jiang Zheyu go lightly.

My mind was messy, and the phone in the office was ringing at the moment, it was an internal phone of the company.

"Hey." I got on the phone.

"Hello Mr. Yuan, there is a Ms. Xia looking for you here." The front desk lady has learned to call respectfully at this moment, after all, I have already fired some people.

Ms. Xia? I kept thinking about this person in my head, and of course my mind flashed through it. Xia Yan is my biological mother, Xia Yan.

Will she come here?

"OK, let her come up." My mind kept flashing back to what she had said to me before.

In fact, I only called her "Mom" once, but there were some things that really disappointed me that even I couldn't accept it.

"Knock knock." There was a knock on the door, but it was only two minutes.

"Please come in."

The secretary walked over with Xia Yan like this. Yes, I guessed that right. But does the fact that she is about to come out of the nursing home mean that she is not going to live the life she used to have?

The secretary left, and the door was closed.

I got up and walked over to the couch. I looked at my mother, who had never been very close to me. I'm a stranger to her, just a doubt. But people with the same bloodline. Maybe there's that intimacy in my bones.

But this intimacy makes me want to get closer, but I'm afraid to get closer. Of course, seeing Xia Yan's somewhat unnatural eyes, I think she is also so cramped. I don't know what exactly I'm trying to say.

I came back to my senses and looked at her. "What's the matter?" I act like I have a normal attitude, at least when I don't know how to deal with it.

"Cause." Xia Yan opened her mouth to call me, and she knew that my name was Yinyin. Maybe my father sued her, but I really don't know why she abandoned me.

I calmed down and made sure I didn't look at her with anger. "Aren't you going to explain why you abandoned me back then?" I've been hanging at the moment.

She was silent. Sure enough, she was silent again. At this moment, I finally knew why Jiang Zheyu used to hate my silence, because at this moment I wanted to know her thoughts instead of silence.

"Why don't you speak, since you didn't intend to say. So why come? "I can't accept that, in fact, I yearn for this mother, because I don't get the love of my family, so I expect it more than anyone else.

"You've ...... all these years," she said only halfway. I had already answered her.

"I'm not having a good time. I've told you I'm not having a good time. In fact, better than bad, do you care? If you care, why did you abandon me more than 20 years ago? Since you don't like me, don't let me be born. "I'm so angry, I don't know why I can't control myself. Maybe it's because of expectations, so it's even sadder.

If I hadn't been born, I probably wouldn't have had too much pain, let alone love or dislove, and I wouldn't have lived my life like this.

"I ......" she always wanted to say something, and that's what made me even angrier.

But this time I chose to control zhì. I looked at her and tried to look at the traces of care in her gaze.

"I knew I was three weeks pregnant when I was pregnant, and I thought about having an abortion. But maybe it's a woman's nature. I was reluctant to kill you, so I decided to give birth to you. But Yuan Zhiwen knew, and although I was avoiding him, he could still find me. I had planned to marry Jiang Qiao before, but ...... Yuan Zhiwen used you as a bargaining chip to blackmail me before, but I still chose to marry Jiang Qiao. After that, Yuan Zhiwen took the child away, but he was still unwilling, so he used many means to break us up, including using Jiangjin. "I don't know how to believe what Xia Yan said.

That one in my eyes has always smiled at me. He would always play with me, and then shout over and over again that the father of the cause would be the man who was so unbearable in my mother's mouth. A man who uses all his means to achieve his goal, in the name of love, does unbearable things.

I don't know how I can believe it. My father's shadow in my childhood kept flashing in my mind. Then I looked again at this mother in front of me, the so-called mother. I know that my father loves her deeply, deeply, and that diary is still in my hand. I vividly remember my father's love and jealousy.

I used to think that my father and my biological mother were in love with each other, but my grandmother did not allow it, and now I realize that this is not the case at all, it is all my father's subjective consciousness. A father can give a qiē for love, and a father can also erase a qiē because of jealousy and hatred. The tall and righteous father in my eyes completely collapsed at this moment.

"Have you ever loved him?" After I put my sanity in order, I asked her, yes, what I've always wanted to ask.

My mother was stunned, and she looked at me. But I don't understand, I don't know how much my mother loves Jiang Qiao in her mouth, so much so that she can use Jiang Zheyu like this to make their brothers kill each other. But I know that my father loves my mother, and he loves him very much, and he loves him so much that he can't help himself.

"Have you ever loved it?" I repeated that phrase, the one I asked for my father.

Xia Yan was a little stiff, and she looked at me.

I know it's hard to answer, because if you don't care, you can say you don't care, and when you do, you can say yes, but you can't answer without you knowing. But the reason why I can't answer is because I care, even if I care a little bit.

So in Hell Father, all the wrong things you have done can be forgiven, because your love is understood.

"Unanswerable love." I looked at my mother, and I really wanted to sue my father for his infatuation. "My father loved me a lot, at least as long as he was alive. He has always loved you like this, that's why he loves Wu and Wu. I don't know how important that man named Jiang Qiao is in your eyes, I only know that my father loves you. If you don't love, you don't hate. "I really wanted to ask my mother why she didn't try to accept her father. I think if my mother gives me a chance, my father can happily give my mother a chance.

I looked at her, her hands were tightly clasped together. I knew she couldn't answer my questions. She did a lot of wrong things, in those days when she was young and frivolous. (To be continued......)

PS: Thank you hailongnv for the pink ticket, which made me feel better all day today. Thank you