Shen Renzui slowly turned around and explained to Yao'er: In the desert, the wind direction is uncertain, such a strong wind, some sand dunes will change shape, and some even move their positions, if we don't have something that can determine the direction, we can't even find the way we came.

Yao'er thought for a while, pointed behind her and said: I remember that we came down from this side, and we will go back in the direction tomorrow?

Shen Ren drunk and said in a low voice: Always? It's just what you think you've been imagining, you don't know if you're walking in a straight line, maybe you're walking all day, and when you're exhausted, you're walking back here.

Yao'er patted her head and said with understanding: Oh......, this is the so-called 'ghost hitting the wall'?

Shen Rendrunk didn't speak, just turned around silently and said faintly: "On my horse, I originally carried a lot of food.

When Haruka heard this, she looked at him anxiously, and suddenly remembered her miserable childhood, a skinny girl, walking in a world full of hunger, without relatives, afraid to die on the side of the road, becoming food for wolves, wild dogs, and other refugees.

Yao'er doesn't know that there are mental illnesses such as hunger phobia and hunger sequelae in the world, maybe she has been cured of this mental illness after growing up hating the sky, but what about Shen Ren's drunk?

Why is Shen Rendrunk so afraid?

So anxious?

Could his childhood ......

She wanted to comfort Shen Rendrunk, but she didn't know how to speak, Yao'er looked up at the gray sky, Yao'er only hoped that there would be a sun tomorrow.

The sun means the hope of life!

The two of them moved forward tiredly. Forward......

Shen Rendrunk rubbed his sore legs, stopped, and said lightly: "You still can't help but want to inquire about my life experience?" ”

"Uh...... You can not say. ”

Shen Rendrunk shook his head. He groaned and said, "It's okay to say it, but it's ...... I can only tell you about my life before I was eight years old. ”

Yao'er excitedly said, "That's okay, you say." ”

Shen Rendrunk thought quietly for a while, and said softly: "My family lives in Zhouwu County, Xingye County, there is nothing special in the family, my father is an ordinary farmer, with more than a dozen acres of dry land. I remember that year was a great drought, very hot and hot, and the land was thousands of miles away. Then came the locusts, and the crops were already dead and gnawed away by the locusts. ”

This beginning, I'm afraid, is by no means a pleasant story. Yao'er couldn't help but smile. Listen quietly.

Shen Ren drunkenly said: "There is no food for disaster relief, in order to survive, Grandpa (father, the most common colloquial name at that time) sold more than a dozen acres of land at home, but at that time the price of rice has risen to 10,000 yuan, how many days is this money enough to live?" Soon, in the city and in the countryside, mourning was everywhere. People cannibalize each other, and the dead sleep on the road. ”

Shen Ren was drunk and said gloomily: "Disaster is not a one-way street. Then came the great plague, in which the victims dragged their children and daughters, begged during the day, and slept in the streets and fields at night. At that time, there was a folk song that said: "Li Si buried Zhang San in the morning, and Li Si ascended to heaven again at noon." Liu Erwang Wu went to the funeral, and the moon fell and went to the ghost gate......

The hungry and crazy people began to do whatever it took to do so. When someone snatched the bun he had just bought and was about to catch up, the hungry man threw the bun into the horse's urine and stepped on it, and the robber had no choice but to give up, and the hungry man picked up the bun again and devoured it. The bark was stripped of its roots, revealing its white-flowered trunk, and its leaves were gnawed away by locusts and hungry people.

Many people began to eat Guanyin soil, knowing that they would still die after eating, but they were really hungry if they didn't fill their stomachs. A man in our village sold all his land and his wife, and finally buried his four-year-old son who had starved to death in a kang and ran for his life.

There is also an oligo. She has a son and a daughter, who are not very old, in order to support her son and keep a little blood of her deceased husband, she personally pressed her young daughter into a basin of water and drowned herself. ”

Shen Renzui raised his head, looked at Yao'er, and explained seriously: "Do you think these have nothing to do with me?" When I say this, I just want to tell you how miserable it was at that time, and many people who were far richer than my family couldn't survive. So...... No matter what my mom and dad did to me, I don't hate them, never! ”

Yao'er's heart trembled slightly, staring at Shen Ren's drunken and crystalline gaze, and had the intention to tell him not to say any more, but in the face of such a gaze, he couldn't even speak.

Shen Rendrunk was silent for a moment, and continued: "Hordes of hungry people traveled all the way east, to escape to the unknown distance. The desert was full of wolves and wolf-like wild dogs, who were not afraid of man, and even went into empty villages, feeding on the remnants of human beings.

Shen Ren's drunken voice trembled: "Grandpa had no choice but to sell his mother, but the food he got was not enough to eat for three days." Whatever it is, at that time, as long as you can have a bite to eat, as long as you can live a few more moments, what is there that you don't want to do? Many women are forced to sell their bodies, only to get back a bowl of rice soup after selling them once. ”

Shen Rendrunk let out a long sigh and said faintly: "After selling the grain exchanged for my mother, my grandfather stared at me directly, and I was so scared at that time, I thought that my grandfather was going to eat me, but the result was ...... He just called me to a dry well and pushed me down......"

Yao'er's body trembled, her lips twitched a few times, but she couldn't say words of comfort.

Shen Ren said drunkly: "Grandpa threw some bricks and rubble, and then he didn't know where to flee for his life." ”

Yao'er gently held his hand, his hand was cold, and he was trembling slightly, as soon as Yao'er held his hand, he immediately held Yao'er's hand back, clutching it tightly, as if the person who fell into the dry well grabbed a rope hanging down by a well-wisher, and refused to let go.

Yao'er said in a low voice: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked this, don't say it again." ”

Yao'er listened with a very heavy heart, she knew that the reason why Shen Renzui repeatedly emphasized his father's helplessness and repeatedly emphasized that he did not hate his father was precisely because he was hurt too deeply in his childhood, especially from the abandonment of his relatives, which was like a nightmare that lingered.

He didn't want to hate, but he couldn't forget, so he had to use this method to hypnotize his mind over and over again.

Shen Ren's drunken eyes were faintly filled with tears, and he said faintly: "However, the sky is endless, probably because I had food for three days, I actually had some strength, I woke up, climbed out of the hole where the masonry and stone were peeling off in the well, and a person followed the fleeing crowd to the countryside and county, wandering everywhere, and then ...... I was taken in by a miller. ”

Shen Ren smiled drunkenly and said: "The miller said to his wife that he would first take me as a child laborer, and when I grew up, he would sell me to the nobles as a slave, and then raise an animal, and when he said this, he did not carry me behind his back, he knew that I had no choice." Actually, I'm very happy, at least I'm full.

At that time, I was not as tall as a millstone, and I was as skinny as wood, and the miller gave me food to survive. I had no strength, and I was accidentally knocked down by the donkey pulling the mill, and I didn't have the strength to get up, and the blindfolded donkey was still pulling and grinding in circles, trampling me to death.

It costs money to heal my wounds, and the miller thinks he can't afford it, so he throws me out of the village. The hungry people came up with green eyes, trying to eat me alive, when suddenly there was a sharp sound of horses' hooves, and the people on the horse looked very energetic, and their clothes were very neat, because of the plague was rampant, and their faces were covered with thick towels, and only a pair of eyes were revealed, and those eyes were so bright, so bright, that I will never forget them......

One of them gave me a cold look, perhaps they were used to all kinds of human tragedies along the way, I didn't see what she meant to save me, I thought I was about to be eaten, but she had already passed me, and suddenly turned back.

The hungry people pounced on me with their white teeth, trying to eat my flesh raw, when the man waved his whip, and the weak hungry fell like papier-mâché people under her whip, and I was saved.

She healed my wounds and gave me food ......"

Yao'er asked, "Why did she change her mind and be willing to save you?" ”

Shen Renzui was silent for a moment, and then replied: "Later, she told me that she had seen too many dying people along the way, some of them watched them pass by, and some of them would be afraid of death, wailing and crying; Others are insensitive, turning a blind eye to them......"

Shen Rendrunk took a long breath and said, "And I'...... She said that in the eyes of this eight-year-old boy, what she saw was the calm of relief, and she felt very unusual for an eight-year-old child to have such a gaze that transcended life and death, so ...... She saved me......"

Tears, swirling in his eyes, Shen Ren was drunk and raised his head, after a long time, when he slowly lowered his head, although his eyes were moist, the tears had disappeared, and he didn't let the tears flow after all. He stared at Yao'er and said word by word: "My name was taken by myself, Shen people are drunk, people are drunk, drunk ......"

As he said these words, he still held Yao'er's hand tightly, and Yao'er could feel that in those hellish days, he had suffered not only from drought, locust plagues, and pestilences, not only from the victims who had witnessed tragic deaths and looted while the fire, but also from his biological father.

Yao'er said softly: "No matter what, that qiē is already in the past, don't always remember it." ”

The corners of Shen Rendrunk's mouth were slightly hooked, and he said with some sneer: "You don't understand, although your family background is not good, but at least, you have a stable life, at least one food and clothing, how do you know what I have suffered." ”

Yao'er was silent, in fact, she also had a misfortune, but compared to the torture suffered by Shen Renzui, she felt that what she had suffered was at least a sudden blow, far less profound than the pain of eternal despair day and night, so she did not refute Shen Renzui's words, she was silent for a moment, stared into Shen Renzui's eyes and said, "Do you know, how do I feel after listening to your story?" ”

"What does it feel?"

"I want to eat a bowl of rice."

Shen Renzui: "......" (to be continued......)