Recently, Li Xiaojian's mind was planted with a weird thing, which he called "dream", and others called it "neurotic".

Yes, he is mentally ill in the eyes of outsiders, and he often says to the modern people around him: "Hey, I've seen Xi Shi and Yang Guifei." ”

Others naturally don't think that the beautiful girl with red hair in a sundress next to him is Xi Shi, one of the four beauties in ancient times, and they don't think that the little cutie who licks around with a lollipop is Yang Guifei, who has the praise of "shy flower". And the hunchbacked dry man behind him will not be reminiscent of the once talented prime minister Liu Yong.

Li Xiaojian was very happy, because he was soon going to receive a large guest, this person's name is a household name, and even the Forbidden City has hung her portrait, it is said that she was confused by the government and the opposition, subverted history, and the serial scheme caused the dispute between the Three Kingdoms. Of course, there is a reason for Li Xiaojian to think so, looking at the annals, her name also has such a place, shining. She is Diao Chan, who has the legend of "Closed Moon" and one of the four beauties of ancient times.

Thinking of seeing Diao Chan, Li Xiaojian was so excited that he got up early in the morning and ran to the eerie Shiyàn Building, and couldn't wait to stay at the door of the morgue full of formalin liquid.

His eagerness prompted him to lie on the glass of the morgue, through which he could see the three crystal coffins in which the bodies were placed, the liquid floating in the coffins, the corpses floating, and a miserable white face against the glass facing him.

"Ahh Li Xiaojian couldn't help but exclaim, scared into a cold sweat, and at the same time, he felt that his body touched a soft thing, and before he could react, a huge force came from the back of his head, and the impact force directly made him dizzy. At the moment of fainting, his eyes seemed to see a woman with disheveled hair and no clothes.

When Li Xiaojian woke up, he was already lying in the school's infirmary, and lying with him was a classmate who had been kicked to pieces, and this qiē had to be traced back to one night half a month ago......

Under the tongue cannon of Wang Buer's sentence in the dormitory, "If a man is not drunk, who dares to sleep with you", Li Xiaojian was shot and couldn't help but drink the twelfth bottle of beer tonight.

"Handsome guy, come on, I see that you can drink ten more bottles of this amount of wine." A soft bone sound drilled into Li Xiaojian's head like a crack without wind, and a little face with rouge pink in the haze swayed left and right.

Li Xiaojian subconsciously put his hand under the long skirt of the stunner in front of him, and then snatched the bottle of beer with white smoke like a beast, drank most of it in one go, and then walked towards the door leisurely. As he walked, he hummed the lyrics that he had remembered for ten years and forgot about ten years: "There is a long gully in front of my brother, and there are two big buns on my sister's chest, and there are layers of waves in my brother's heart, when will my sister let me cross your river......"

This is what Li Xiaojian often hummed when he heard the prodigal brother in the village, and he remembered it.

Walking out of the door of the private room, Li Xiaojian went straight to the toilet. He knew very well in his heart that tonight was to celebrate the beginning of the new semester with the dormitory brothers, and they came to the city's "See You or Disperse KTV" song. Because I drank some wine, and I just came to class, everyone had some money in their pockets, so I called a few singing girls. Li Xiaojian has never touched a woman, and today he took advantage of the strength of wine, but he didn't understand what it was like to "kill you" in the mouth of the prodigal brother all night.

Wow, a mouthful of yellow foam spit out, and Li Xiaojian felt that his internal organs were churning non-stop. It was the first time he had such intimate contact with the toilet, and after three sips, his vision began to blur, and the pale yellow floor tiles and snow-white walls under the light looked like a spinning Rubik's Cube, and he was like a tumbler, swaying around, but refusing to fall.

Li Xiaojian took a deep breath, turned on the faucet and sprayed cold water on his face, but he still couldn't resist his sleepiness.

"Huh? This is? Suddenly, Li Xiaojian was stunned, and an incomparably enchanting figure suddenly appeared in the mirror in front of him. Two slender jade legs are half exposed, a retro long skirt sways softly, a string of sparkling pearl necklaces hangs on the white neck, and a pink little face is as charming as outlined in the painting.

Hallucinations, must be hallucinations!

But this hallucination was too real, and Li Xiaojian saw that the woman was walking towards him step by step. If he hadn't drunk, he would have turned around and run away in fright, but now he has an impulse.

"Hey, handsome guy, can you talk?" The beauty was not stunned by Li Xiaojian's **-like burning gaze, but took a step forward and took the initiative to say hello.

"Ahh Li Xiaojian was speechless, this woman's voice was too beautiful, like a heavenly sound, maybe the alcohol allowed him to naturally block out all the noise.

"My name is Bai Dafeng, it's nice to meet you, can we be friends?" The beauty stretched out her white and slender finger and shook it in front of Li Xiaojian's eyes.

"Yes...... It's okay" Li Xiaojian was stunned, and the alcohol turned into an anesthetic in an instant.

"Can we take a step to speak?" The beauty leaned close to Li Xiaojian's ear and asked softly.

"Good, good." Li Xiaojian nodded instantly, and stumbled outside with the beauty.

Out of the toilet, the beauty threw him forward, until he was about to walk out of the KTV gate, Li Xiaojian stood up and asked stupidly, "Where are you going?" ”

The beauty was stunned for a moment, and then smiled coquettishly: "You can decide." ”

Li Xiaojian shook his head vigorously, patted his head, and asked, "How much?" ”

"I'm not a chicken ......," the beauty bowed her head.

"Free?" Li Xiaojian jumped up and exclaimed.

"Hey, are you going?" The beauty frowned, her face full of anxiety.

"Go, of course." Li Xiaojian replied excitedly. Although this sudden piece of fat meat was a little unprepared for Li Xiaojian, if he didn't eat the pie in the sky, the next time it fell might be scissors. In normal times, Li Xiaojian could see that this matter was very strange with half a brain, but now that he has drunk too much, alcohol and hormones are at the same time.

The messy music was still loud with the roar of those ghosts crying wolves, Li Xiaojian wanted to go back and inform the buddies in the box, but he was afraid that the beauty in front of him would leave carelessly, so he followed the beauty into a bouncing car and drove to the nearest hotel.

"My name is Li Xiaojian, Sister Feng, what do you do?" Sitting in the undulating and bumpy bouncing car, Li Xiaojian asked. He couldn't remember Bai Dafeng's full name, and he directly omitted the previous words in his memory.

"Sister Feng? Hehe, that's a good name, you should call me that. Bai Dafengjiao said with a smile. Immediately, Bai Dafeng asked, "Is it important what I do?" ”

"Nope." Li Xiaojian hurriedly shook his head, he felt that he had drunk too much, and asked a woman who opened a room with him about her profession, this is a bit too unmarketable, right?

When Li Xiaojian was in a daze, suddenly, Bai Dafeng grabbed his head, and his whole head went to Li Xiaojian, and then, Li Xiaojian felt a soft thing stick to his mouth, and then he was completely drunk.

Okay, let the kiss fly for a while.

Li Xiaojian, born in 1992, was born in Asia, lives in the mainland, lives in this city where the heart, liver, spleen, stomach and kidneys are very active, is currently a college student at Union College, and is now a sophomore who has just started school.

Concord College is a second-rate university that Li Xiaojian stayed up for three Chinese New Year's Eve, and it contains a wide range of majors, but it is mainly based on nursing. However, Li Xiaojian chose the Department of Engineering and Architectural Engineering, which has less than 1,000 majors in the school. This made him very content, and he chose both his favorite major and the school where the proportion of girls could cover boys. Especially when walking on the campus road, there is a feeling of the opposite sex all around, it is like standing in a sea of flowers, picking or not, they are all there, and they will never leave.

"Whew!" Li Xiaojian let out a sigh of relief, holding on to the window of the tricycle and almost fainted. Sister Feng's lung capacity is too big, why did she persist for so long? You know, they did three rounds of bouncing.

After getting out of the car, Li Xiaojian took the beautiful woman's silky little hand, walked into the hotel with space steps, took out his ID card and three grandfathers from his arms and handed them over.

"Hello, how many people live?" The four-eyed girl at the front desk asked casually while registering.

"You're blind, both." Li Xiaojian roared extremely domineeringly, this was the first time he had been so arrogant in twenty years.

"That'...... Please take out her ID card and register. The four-eyed girl rolled her eyes and said.

Sister Feng lowered her head and leaned on Li Xiaojian's ear, and said softly: "I didn't bring it, what should I do?" ”

Li Xiaojian glared at the four-eyed sister, and yelled with a ruffian: "Hurry up, why is there so much nonsense." After speaking, Li Xiaojian picked up the room card and ID card and pulled Sister Feng and ran upstairs.

Li Xiaojian is 173cm tall, and he is very thin, a typical **silk image. Looking at the two people whose images were extremely unmatched, and stumbled upstairs, the four-eyed girl puffed up her mouth angrily and chased after the two.

"Little flower, forget it." At this time, not far from the front desk, a middle-aged man lying on a rocking chair spoke. The man narrowed his eyes slightly, revealing a very mysterious smile.

"Okay, boss." The four-eyed girl had no choice but to retreat.

Pulling Sister Feng into room 402, Li Xiaojian quickly took off his shirt and threw himself forward to hold Sister Feng in his arms. He just wanted to kiss Sister Feng's cherry mouth again, when a strange fragrance wafted into his nostrils. Suddenly, Li Xiaojian felt that his eyes were foggy, the back of his head was hot, and the wine was violent, and gradually he closed his eyes and slowly went to the bed.

Before falling asleep completely, Li Xiaojian's half of his tendons suddenly remembered a news some time ago: a female college student was tricked into going to a hotel to cut off two kidneys while drinking in a bar......

"Ah, I'll drop a kidney!"

When I woke up again, it was already dawn the next day. Li Xiaojian felt very lucky to see the sun the next day, but when he saw the woman lying beside him, he almost cried.

The wine has woken up, and my head still hurts a little. Li Xiaojian was naked, and there was a woman lying next to him in a half-wrapped nightgown with an evil smile on her face. Li Xiaojian pinched his thigh fiercely, and the pain told him that this qiē was true. The woman's body has not changed, it is as graceful as last night, but the woman's face has become terrifying.

On that well-defined face, there were eight moles the size of an eye, and each mole was a different color.

"Ahh Hell yes! Li Xiaojian slammed up from the bed, feeling stiff.

However, after he shouted this sentence, he regretted it again. Because the woman exclaimed excitedly: "Hey, how can you tell that I am a ghost, powerful, worthy of the person I chose." ”

Listening to her tone, it seems that Li Xiaojian is really right. Li Xiaojian looked at his belly, hurriedly shrank back, looked at the ghost-like woman in front of him and asked, "Who are you?" What do you want to do? ”

The kidney was not cut off, but the woman in front of her changed. The vague memory told Li Xiaojian that he walked into the hotel last night was a big beauty with a devil body and an angel face, and the one in front of him? The devil is there, but what about the angels?

"I'm Sister Feng." Sister Feng said very innocently.

"Sister Feng?" Li Xiaojian muttered, and couldn't help but think of the many times on TV and the Internet that she claimed that only US President Barack Obama could be worthy of her Sister Feng. No, that Sister Feng is much stronger than the one in front of her. If he could, he would rather drink with that Sister Feng than appear on the same planet as this Sister Feng.

"You forgot? We were here last night. Sister Feng explained.

"Last night? I, I didn't do anything to you, did I? Li Xiaojian hurriedly picked up his shirt and put it on quickly.

"You slept me to sleep." Sister Feng said helplessly.

"I take you? Sister, we didn't do anything, don't talk nonsense. Li Xiaojian hurriedly explained.

"Hmph, what am I talking nonsense, Li Xiaojian, you slept with me." Sister Feng said, deliberately opening the nightgown on her body.

"Me?" Li Xiaojian stared at Sister Feng for ten seconds with an extremely strange gaze, and then knelt down with a plop, and said with a crying voice: "Sister, please, let me go, last night was definitely a misunderstanding." ”

He really wants to smoke a few ears now.,I drank too much last night.,I actually thought this monster was a beauty.,And gloating thinking that he would give ** to a free girl.,Now think about it and be annoyed.,It seems that the free is not the goods.。

"Misunderstanding? Isn't it chaotic to misunderstand the world when you sleep, Li Xiaojian, I sue you, from now on, you are my husband, and I am your wife, understand? Sister Feng said very seriously.

"Why?" Li Xiaojian wanted to cry without tears, thinking of the ten-minute kiss on the tricycle last night, and then looking at Sister Feng in front of him, the acid water in his stomach gushed up.

"No, look at you like that, not as tall as three pieces of tofu, a chicken rack, do you think I will lose if you marry me? Sue you, marry me is your blessing. Sister Feng said confidently.

"Why?" Li Xiaojian completely collapsed.

When he looked at the eight colored pimples on Sister Feng's face again, the acid water blocking his throat finally couldn't help but squirt out. Li Xiaojian quickly ran to the toilet, flushed his head with cold water, and then ran out of the toilet, took out three Mao grandfathers from his trouser pocket, and fell on the bed.

"Nothing happened last night, remember?" Li Xiaojian said angrily. He learned it from TV.

"No way!" Sister Feng put the money still on the ground, grabbed Li Xiaojian's neck, took out a look of sister being very rich, and shouted: "You are my man now, you must listen to me in the future." ”

"Damn, you nerves. Okay, I didn't sleep with you, you see, I didn't even untie my pants. Li Xiaojian pointed to the waistband of his trousers and said confidently.

"Okay, you don't admit it, do you?" Sister Feng pointed to her mouth and said with a crying voice: "Then you kiss me, and if you kiss me, you have to marry me." ”

"Do you think this is the old society?" Li Xiaojian found that Sister Feng in front of him was a little nervous, and he thought about getting out quickly, so he took out the only remaining Grandpa Mao from his pocket, still on Sister Feng's face, and said, "Here you go, kissing fee!" ”