October 27, 1986, autumn, the weather is very good today, I like this kind of weather very much, he let me be in a bad mood to be able to see the white clouds floating in the sky, imagine that I am one of them, can be carefree floating, my father told me yesterday that I am four years old this year, he began to teach me to write, write his own name, only to know that the original "Tang Zhongmou" these three look like this, but Dad only taught me to write his own name, and then lost a dictionary to me and left, I flipped a day and a night, wrote the first diary, the word is so ugly.

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On March 25, 1988, the sun was shining, but I still felt a little cold. In my memory, my father has always been a non-smiling reader, he was very strict with me, and later when I read the "Three Character Classic", I saw the six words "the son does not teach, the father's fault", I was thinking that my father is for my good, Tang Jiagou is very small, said that only by studying hard, can I go out of this palm-sized place in the future, I saw the expectant look in my father's eyes, I secretly swore in my heart, I must study hard in the future, and work hard to earn a lot of money in the future, so that my father can live a good life.

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September 1, 1989, summer, the weather was hot, but I was in a good mood, because I could finally go to school, although I had to walk more than half an hour to the town's primary school, but I was still very happy, because in this way, it was one step closer to my dream, but my dad still looked the same as usual, or sit at home and drink, if I went out, I didn't see anyone very early, and I would come back very late, I began to learn to make porridge by myself, and I would go to other people's fields to steal some sweet potatoes, and when my father asked me, I didn't dare to tell him the truth, I said that it was sent by someone else, but I knew that my father could see that I was lying, but he didn't beat me and scolded me, he just told me that it was wrong to steal something, and I felt guilty and told my father that there would never be a next time.

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On June 25, 1992, the summer vacation will be in a few days, and I will soon be in the fourth grade, I don't understand why my classmates are so happy when they hear about the summer vacation, but they are sad about the summer vacation homework in their hands, I don't understand, do they not like to read? If they don't like to read, why do they come to school? Today, in class, the Chinese teacher asked us a question: "What are you going to do when you grow up?" Some said scientists, some said engineers, some said painters or writers, I didn't answer, because I didn't know what I could do in the future, I just knew that I had to study well now and be admitted to a good university, and the teacher also said that I had good grades and would definitely be successful in the future, and I thought so in my own heart.

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On August 30, 1995, the sky was gray and gloomy, with some silky drizzle, although it was a little warmer to the hot weather, but I still felt very stuffy, after the rain, the little friends in the village would run to the field to catch frogs or team up where to play, and I sat alone in my small room reading a book, it seemed that I was not the same age as those children who were also 13 years old, they all called me Erhuzi, because they thought I was a nerd, tiger-headed, but I didn't know that I also despised their naivety in my heart, There is a saying called "others laugh at me too crazy, I laugh at others can't see through", laughter is a laughing laugh, although there is no good feeling, but it is not disgusting, I will go to middle school in two days, I am still very happy, because I am getting closer and closer to my goal, and I like a girl, she is recognized as the class flower in our class, many boys like to deliberately tease her, want to get her attention, it seems that when they see her angry, they will be very satisfied, I am also angry, but I can't be a hero to save beauty, Because in that case, I know that those nasty guys in the class will make a big fuss about us, I'm afraid she will be even more angry, her surname is Ye, called "Ye Wenqing", she is from the next village, and we can only see each other when we go to school, of course, it is the back, these days I have flipped through a book of "Song Ci", which has a "Ai Lian Said" written by Zhou Dunyi, and there is a sentence that reads "out of the mud but not stained", I think it is very suitable to put it on her.

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On December 25, 1996, the weather was very cold, I wore several clothes and still felt a little insufficient, the weather in the south is different from the north, although the temperature in the north is low, but pay attention to keep warm, it will not be cold, and this cold in the south is not called cold, it is called freezing, especially the northeast wind after the ice and snow melt in early spring, you can cone to the bone, I really want to see the snow, Xiaoqing also likes it, I gave up the place in the key middle school, gave up my original intention, I accompanied her to this second-rate middle school, It shouldn't have been like this, but I don't know why she failed the exam, but I don't regret it, after I went to junior high school, I started chasing her, chasing for a long time, today, she finally agreed to be my girlfriend, I was very happy, I have never been so happy, I only know that I was very happy at that time, I also know that today is called Christmas, it is the birthday of Jesus, and every year at this time there will be a guy called Santa Claus who will secretly give gifts to good people, and Xiaoqing is what he gave me.

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In October 1998, the last semester of the third year of junior high school started, this is a diary in September, from the age of four to now sixteen years old, I didn't write a diary for the first time, and it was a month to put it, because Ye Wenqing She transferred to another school, walked very chic, got into a car I didn't know the brand, didn't leave a word, didn't even look back at me, her back was still very beautiful, beautiful to the eye, so that my eyes ached, but I didn't cry, because she was no longer the girl next door who smiled sweetly, is no longer the lotus flower with a ponytail, she is not polluted by the mud, but she has fallen into self-withering, she is not worthy of me to cry for her, the sad reason is that I once thought that Ye Wenqing, who could be holy and immaculate for a lifetime, could not come back, although I kept telling myself in my heart to be strong, but in the end it took a month to remember this first love that I thought was ridiculous, Dad didn't say anything, but I knew he saw everything in his eyes, During this time, I neglected this father who set a benchmark for me everywhere on the road of life, I found that he had a few more gray hairs, I wanted to cry out loud, but my father patted my head and said, "The man is gold under his knees, there are tears and no flicks, and those who want to see the rainbow without experiencing wind and rain are the same as those who sit and wait for the pie to fall from the sky. In my memory, my father didn't say so much to me, and I listened carefully and took it to heart.

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This may be the last diary I wrote, I don't want to write the date, because I really hope that the current qiē is not true, I was admitted to the city's key high school with a full A grade, if I work hard in the past three years, maybe I can still be sent to Tsinghua Peking University, let this second-rate school be beautiful once, and let myself be beautiful, but my life is a pair of cups, my father suddenly fell ill, the doctor said that it was advanced liver cancer, there is no cure, at that time I was in despair, kneeling in front of my father's bed and crying, My belief in life, the one I longed for all seemed so pale and powerless in the face of reality, my father said, "Giving birth to a son should be like Sun Zhongmou, that's why I gave you this name, very lucky, you didn't let me down, it's a pity that I can't go down with you in the future, I have never mentioned your mother's matter to you, now I sue you, she is waiting for me in heaven," he smiled, this was the first time his father laughed from the heart, and added a sentence "If I don't do anything bad and go to hell, I should be able to meet her." My father left the next night after I said this, and it was peaceful.

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In 2001, two years later, I picked up this diary that I thought I would never touch again, since my father left, I did not continue to study, gave up the future that I once thought was bright, followed a blind old man to become a charlatan, from a serious textbook to a set of mysterious and obscure ancient feng shui books, walking on the country road, doing fortune-telling, walking the rivers and lakes under the guise of an immortal guiding the way, barely earning two yuan of work, I don't know how to survive in the past two years. I call this old man master, and I am convinced, because his ability to say that it is so mysterious that it makes people smack, no matter who stands in front of him, as long as the blind old man is not afraid of breaking the sky and breaking the yang life, everything can be calculated for you, not bad, even I have a birthmark on my body He can calculate it, sometimes I wonder if he is really blind or pretending.

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In 2002, after three years of messing with the blind old man, and three years of fighting, I finally wanted to teach my apprentice something to eat. In fact, in the past few years, I have secretly learned by myself, so when the blind old man taught me, I learned very fast, he said that I am a son can be taught, I despise shì, because these things are learned by myself, where is he taught, although I was a little unhappy, but I didn't complain about anything, the old man said, "Do our line of work has to stop at the point, can't do anything to break the yang and lose the yin virtue, otherwise the son will have no asshole in the future!" I promised the old man that he would be a good man in the future, the old man didn't comment on anything, just patted me on the head, in my memory the old man was the same as my father, they were all unsmiling people, I seemed to be infected by them.

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In the autumn of 2005, this is a sad season, the autumn wind swept the leaves, rolled up my heart in the extremely sad mood, I sat in front of an old house in Jinyuan today, closed my eyes and shook the wooden rattan chair under my buttocks, my mind was full of my father and the figure of the blind old man, but my father was gone, the master was also gone, they all seemed to be just passers-by in my life, but brought a lot of things, I said that I have lived until now, half of it was given by my father, half of it was given by the master, and the rest of my life, Dad said to rely on myself, and the master also said to keep it to myself.

Today, Guo Si's group of people came to me again, and told me to find a good place, estimated to be a general in the two Jin Dynasty, and the things in it must be worth a lot, but this tomb is a bit evil, they don't dare to mess around, let me help them with the so-called "practice", I didn't promise them, saying that I have washed my hands in a golden basin, they said that such a big deal, after doing this order, they are ready to withdraw from the rivers and lakes, these four or five people are my brothers, I agreed as soon as my heart softened, I did not forget the teachings of Master Jì, But I think I really did something wrong this time.