156 Daigo

The next day, Bai Nian came again.

Lu Mansheng originally thought that he would sit down like yesterday and wait for the tea to cool before leaving. This time, however, it didn't.

"These days, I can't sleep every day."

In the silence, Bai Nian spoke.

"My head is empty, my heart is stuffy, and my body is obviously tired, but I don't feel sleepy." Bai Nian's voice was also muffled, and talking to Lu Mansheng like this was like talking to himself against a piece of wall. It's like a silent child, going home and talking to his mother about the troubles at school.

"I don't know what to do, I just know that if I continue like this, I won't be able to reach the end." It was because he knew this that Bai Nian was so frightened and scared in his heart.

He can't just fail here, he is responsible for revitalizing the Bai family's medical skills, bearing the hopes of his grandfather and father, he has endured more than others since he was a child, and he is even more unable to accept his own failure.

But in the face of the current situation, Bai Nian was at a loss. In this apricot grove garden, there are only a few people who can speak. And the person who can make him feel at ease and rest assured to tell these things is not alone. Just when Bai Nian didn't know what to do at all, he thought of Lu Mansheng.

Although the two of them never said a few words from before to after, and they didn't have any friendship, for some reason, Bai Nian just trusted the person in front of him.

Lu Mansheng has a cold temperament, but he just knows that if he really tells Lu Mansheng this, she will definitely listen carefully, and will never drive her away with a cold face. Of course, I don't get impatient. But his face was silent. She is not such a person at all, this is the kind of person who can make Bai Nian feel at ease to come to her.

Originally, Bai Nian had this idea yesterday. The words came to my lips, but I didn't know how to say them. In the end, there was only a quiet departure.

Tossing and turning all night, early the next morning, Bai Nian came to the Autumn Goose Pavilion. He made up his mind to speak what was in his heart. Even if Lu Mansheng didn't say anything, as long as someone listened. He thought he would feel a lot better.

"In the third round of the exam, I was tempted to stand up like a few of you, but in the end I resisted ......"

Lu Mansheng didn't ask anything. Maybe she had already thought of a reason, or maybe it was just that even if she didn't ask, Bai Nian would sue her herself. In that case, there is no need to ask.

"Because I thought about my grandfather's expectations. Can't be capricious. Unable to do what he wants. I kept telling myself to focus on the big picture. There is another point, Bai Nian didn't say it, he didn't want to be said by his family to be childish.

He is much more precocious than children of the same age, and what he has been committed to all these years is to think of himself as a responsible and responsible adult, rather than a child who has not yet grown up to act willfully.

"I managed to qualify, but my heart. It seems that a piece is missing. My favorite medical technique has also become boring for me......"

One last word. Bai Nian said timidly. It is a very difficult thing in itself to make a person hate the things he used to love the most.

Lu Mansheng deeply understands this feeling. Because before participating in the Apricot Forest Festival, Lu Mansheng's heart has always been very conflicted. But in the end, she took that step and gradually gained relief. It's not all, but it's because I keep this bit of fun that I don't let myself be completely immersed in regret and remorse.

"Maybe I wouldn't have thought that way before I attended the Apricot Grove Festival, but I would have insisted that what I was doing was the right thing. However, after experiencing these things, what I want to pursue is not only that-" Bai Nian's head was lowered lower and lower, and his little heart was deeply troubled and could not be shaken off.

He used to have such a mentality. It was still during the retest, Lu Mansheng ranked first, and his skills overwhelmed the group of doctors, trampling all the five + doctors under his feet.

The examiner at that time gave an explanation for this, and after listening to the explanation, Bai Nian didn't say a word and left in silence. Only he knew that after listening to those words, his heart was shaken and trembled slightly!

He also wants to be like her, and act recklessly! He has all the foundations and skills that a doctor should have. The only thing he lacks is that casual chic and spirituality! You may ask, are these two things really needed in medical skills, or maybe are they really essential?

For others, they may still be unconvinced, and they may be annoyed that they didn't think of this, and they took advantage of Lu Mansheng in vain. And for Bai Nian, the shock was quite large. Because what Lu Mansheng has is what he lacks the most.

How sad it should be for a teenage boy to be missing these?

At that time, Bai Nian made up his mind to enjoy practicing medicine as much as possible on the basis of fulfilling his grandfather's expectations. In short, it is to practice medicine for one's own sake.

In the next table, Bai Nian did show Xiàn very well, and it also allowed him to gain a rare and valuable family affection.

However, Bai Nian now knows that what is rooted in the body cannot be changed lightly, and this thing will emerge at a critical moment, thwarting your will and interfering with your actions.

He had been avoiding what he was afraid of, and it happened in the end.

"Was your grandfather's expectations more important, or was the desire to practice medicine for yourself stronger?" After a while, Lu Mansheng finally spoke.

What Bai Nian is worried about is, in the final analysis, this problem. Rather than being obscure, it's better to break it down directly and let him think about it for himself.

Either way, you can't say you're wrong, and you can't say you're right.

Bai Nian was stunned and looked at Lu Mansheng blankly, but Lu Mansheng did not continue to speak. She just gently sniffed the fragrance of tea in the cup, which was her favorite tea, Junshan Silver Needle. These were given to her to the left, and his eldest brother brought some good tea out of the palace, and I heard that it was still rewarded by the emperor. Xiang is such a precious brother as the right brother, and good things will be shared with the younger brother.

And to the left, there is no fun in drinking tea. When I was at the Fulai Inn, I once heard the shopkeeper say that Dr. Lu Mansheng loves to drink tea, especially Junshan Silver Needle. After getting these teas, he immediately came over and gave Lu Mansheng "filial piety".

Xiang left to give her a good cup of tea, Lu Mansheng should have thanked him. But she was still embarrassed to say that this time, for the first time, she saw the characteristics of a dog's legs on Xiang Zuo's body, and there were children waiting for adults to praise their amazingly bright eyes.

Compared to Bai Nian, the silly boy on the left is sometimes more like a child. As simple as a child, as simple as a child.

It's just that no matter how mature Bai Nian is on the outside, he is still just a teenager in his heart. When faced with problems, he will be overwhelmed, will not solve them on his own, and is easy to get into a dead end.

"I ......" Bai Nian's two big eyes were confused, he was asked, he had never thought about this question, and he didn't dare to think about it.

For as long as he can remember, he has followed his grandfather's expectations to learn medicine. No matter how tired you are, you don't dare to complain and slack off. The biggest purpose of his medical practice, or the only purpose that can be said to be the only one, is to revive the majesty of the Bai family's medical skills. This is the motivation that supports him to continue day by day, and it is also the pressure that urges him to keep moving forward and climb to a higher medical skill, without this, Bai Nian would not be the Bai Nian of today.

Then let alone practicing medicine for yourself, today's qiē is no longer meaningful.

However, Bai Nian stroked his chest. These alone are not enough, far from enough. If he continued like this, the original motivation and pressure would only turn into resistance, and he would no longer have the ability to continue to move forward, nor would he have the confidence to compete with these people.

"I'm not asking you this question to make a choice." Lu Mansheng saw that Bai Nian had fallen into a dead end again, and couldn't help sighing.

“……”

"There is no contradiction between the two." Without waiting for him to ask, Lu Mansheng continued: "Why don't you ask yourself what your grandfather would have done in such a situation?" ”

Bai Nian's eyes widened suddenly.

Bai Nian's ancestor is a legendary doctor, and Lu Mansheng believes that if he can become such a doctor, his thoughts and understandings must be somewhat different from other doctors. It's not that he needs a noble purpose, it's just that he never forgets his duty in such a difficult environment, and fulfills his highest commitment to life with his life.

Such a thing cannot be driven by the so-called fame, fortune and gold and silver, and he must have his own beliefs in his heart. Such a person would want his grandson to be burdened with his so-called expectations, or even cowardly to be himself?

Bai Nian misunderstood his grandfather's expectations of him, which was not to revitalize the Bai family's medical skills, nor to recast the legend of the Bai family. Instead, he hopes that the Bai family can inherit his legacy and uphold his pursuit and support in medical skills, so that even if he does not have a prominent reputation, he can be regarded as living up to his expectations.

Lu Mansheng didn't know Bai Nian's grandfather, and he didn't know if he was really what she thought. However, she believes that her judgment is not wrong, because the person who once taught her to learn medicine is in this mood to educate these juniors.

The rest of the road is to go on as you wish. No matter the difficulties and dangers ahead, or the floods, with a pure heart, you will naturally have no regrets.

Everyone will be confused when they encounter problems, and they will also get into the tip of the horns and can't get out. At this time, you might as well change your perspective and listen to their voices from the heart.

Expectations are just expectations after all, this life is too long, and you still have to live for your own will. Turn expectations into motivation and knead motivation into your own wishes so that you don't face a dilemma.

Besides, we are all young, so why should we push ourselves so urgently? Especially a ten-year-old ghost, it is no longer urgent, but cruel. (To be continued......)