Chapter 180, pour out your heart

Changsheng asked anxiously, Mingjing looked at her steadily, remembering that on the way home, he saw her sitting in the carriage with Jinshu in her arms with tears on her face, lonely and sad, and said to herself with a little grievance in her voice: "I miss home, and I miss my mother." ”

This was the first time he had seen her in such a state, and he suddenly felt pity, and his previous admiration, appreciation, and admiration were not as real and strong as the pity at that moment. In the twilight, his heart was suddenly so soft, it turned out that under her strong and independent appearance, she was just a weak woman who needed care and care.

and the horror and helplessness she felt when she mentioned Ming Qing's evil deeds, which made him deeply blame himself. He always thought that his sincerity and sincerity to her were only exchanged for her politeness and alienation, and even because he was jealous of the closeness between her and Cen Hao, he refused to see her after returning home, and the shameless Ming and Qing Dynasty coveted her.

He cared about her very much, but he never thought of her feelings or what she needed, only in his own wishful thinking, he felt sorry for himself and blamed her for being ruthless, if he hadn't suddenly woken up today, a man who only cared about his own feelings, why did he touch her heart? And why should she be asked to care about herself as well?

And he Xie Mingjing, even if he doesn't have the strength to stand up to the sky and the earth, and the talent of the world, he should at least have the ability to take care of the woman he likes.

Changshengyan couldn't see the affection in Mingjing's eyes, and a heart that had been tempered for a long time and had to weigh everything again and again, avoiding harm and seeking benefits everywhere suddenly softened.

As an older woman who does not have a superior family background and outstanding talents, she is not as good as Cheng Ziyu in terms of family background and beauty, and she is not as good as Douhuang in terms of loyalty and dedication, why does he look at him differently?

Maybe he also has something moving, but the criteria for men to choose a mate in this era are the first is the family background of the match, and then the extraordinary beauty and talent and the charming and coquettish or supple or well-behaved and lovely temperament.

Who will appreciate their independence and strength, and who can truly understand their feelings of leaving their hometown for the sake of survival because they are unwilling to compromise and seek perfection?

There is only Mingjing, who has no power and no power in Xie Mansion, is not shrewd and capable, and is tolerant and flattering everywhere.

But two of them maybe, right? Not to mention that he already has two intercourse girls, unless he is willing to submit to being a concubine, it is impossible to become his wife in this life and this life. Changsheng asked himself again, he still felt that no matter how good Mingjing was, it was not worth being a concubine for him, and no man was worth it. So the two of them are people who have no fate after all, and all the thoughts that shouldn't be there have to be packed up.

Mingjing looked at her regardless of it, and muttered, "Changsheng, do you really like that piano master?" Can't you see my heart for you? I know I've done a terrible job, I've only known my own feelings for so long, and I've never really understood your heart, and when I saw you crying, I realized how ignorant and ridiculous I used to be, don't worry, it won't be like this again.

Changsheng bowed his head and was silent, for fear that he would say something in a moment's heart, and if he said it, it would be in vain to provoke lovesickness, so it was better to hold back.

But in the face of this situation, he couldn't say too heartless words. After thinking for a while, he said with difficulty: "Changsheng entered the palace at the age of twelve, and he asked for and hoped for eight years, but he escaped his life, and after returning home, he only wanted to reunite his relatives and live a peaceful life, but he couldn't get his wish for various reasons, so he applied for the Xie family." I stumbled to this time, long past the age of imaginary thoughts, I just want to marry a reliable person, that is, which man is interested, and only because he is a suitable match with me, not how good he is, how great he is, the most particular about the two words of matching, Changsheng has self-knowledge, knows what kind of person he is with, so he can't afford to be the third master's love! ”

She thought that Mingjing would be embarrassed and angry, at least she would lose her temper at her, and after waiting for a while, she didn't see any movement, she raised her head uneasily, and Mingjing still looked at her with understanding and pity: "If you said this before, I would definitely be angry, but I won't do it again, you said that it was all a real problem between us, I used to just deceive myself and deliberately turn a blind eye, and today I know that if I can't solve these problems, what qualifications do I have to ask you?" I won't tell those lies in the future, just wait and see! ”

Changsheng smiled bitterly, she believed that Mingjing was sincere, but in modern society, love is still no match for reality, not to mention the ancient times when women were paid attention to the marriage of three from four virtues?

Her sister had a beloved first love **** in college, the two swore an oath, but they still couldn't resist the strong opposition of his family, and after graduation, she hurriedly married a woman with close interests between the two families, and the deeply injured sister did not heal the wound until before the crossing, so that she did not really fall in love until the crossing, which became the most regrettable thing.

And Mingjing swears today, not to mention the resolute opposition of the old lady and Mingche, when King Qin really succeeds to the throne, Mingche's status is higher, and Mingjing will definitely enter the official career, and at that time, the surrounding is either the daughter of a famous family, or the lady of the official eunuch family, that is the woman who is really compatible with him, even if he does not change his original intention, he can't help himself.

And if you can't see your status clearly, it can only be a joke that doesn't know the height of the sky.

Changsheng suddenly thought, if Mingjing is Cen Hao's identity, his status is not high, he is not rich or poor, just like the affordable man in his previous life, he can easily earn a good salary with his piano skills, which can not only keep his wife and children warm, but also not have enough money to take concubines, maybe they will have a fate.

In Pei's house, there was a fast-talking housekeeper who told her that Pei Hao was the first son of a scholarly family in the decline of the previous dynasty, and his parents died early, and he bought a two-entry house in Dongsanfang with a generous salary, and was taken care of by the housekeeper's family of three, and the housekeeper's wife also told him that Cen Hao was a famous violinist in Chang'an City, and his monthly salary was twenty taels of silver.

It's just Cen Hao, Changsheng always feels that there are things under his refreshing and quiet appearance that she can't understand and grasp, not to mention that she can't really understand what kind of person he is in just a few days.

Thinking of the serious thing he was about to ask just now, he was about to divert the topic, but Mingjing said softly: "Don't worry, Changsheng, I won't say those nonsense that don't have any effect in the future, you wait to see what I do." I have a lot to tell you tonight, and I shouldn't have let you, a weak woman, know these troubles, but the stakes are so high that I have to say it. ”

Changsheng was really moved, but he deliberately didn't answer, just Mingjing said that she was a weak woman, but she couldn't help but want to laugh, anyway, she was a few months older than Xie Mingjing, and she wanted to be a weak woman who was soft and delicate and raised in the deep boudoir.

It's just that Mingjing has something important to tell her? He hadn't answered why Mingche was reluctant to take Jinshu away.